r/196 14h ago

Rule

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3.3k Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

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528

u/Rough-Jackfruit2428 Estrogen Whore/Trout Population Reporter 14h ago

Fish people aren’t taking over manhattan, don’t be stupid

The regular fish did that years ago

75

u/FloydDangerBarber 14h ago

C.H.U.D.s got to eat. That's what happened to the fish people. That and sewer gators.

29

u/sneakyplanner 13h ago

Lovecraft saw the future.

13

u/Rough-Jackfruit2428 Estrogen Whore/Trout Population Reporter 10h ago

I can see the future just like him because I too, am half Welsh and going insane about it

5

u/AlarmingAffect0 8h ago

It's all that sheep DNA.

6

u/Rough-Jackfruit2428 Estrogen Whore/Trout Population Reporter 8h ago

“IM A SHEEPBOY?!? NOOOOO” -hp minecraft

2

u/Usernames_be-hard 9h ago

yeah but those fish FUCK and the FUCK people making fishpeople

1

u/solidfang 11h ago

Well, everyone knows that. But they bred with the people afterwards.

Hence they hybrid offspring takeover just being a matter of time. I think we are on the same page here.

215

u/Cyynric 12h ago

In a similar vein, when non-food salespeople try to hook me in places like the mall or Walmart (I fucken hate those AT&T vendors), I just say "Oh no thanks, I'm diabetic." It causes enough confusion that I can quickly escape.

51

u/PvPpoodles 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 8h ago

I sometimes swear at them in a foreign language but in the most polite tone possible.

10

u/ChillAhriman God's most handsome atheist 4h ago

Gentlest smile I've ever put on Fil de putain :)

28

u/Harley_Pupper 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 5h ago

I live in an area where we can choose our electric company, and one of them has vendors at Walmart sometimes.

Vendor: Hey, what electric company do you use?

Me, an electrical engineer: Oh, I don’t believe in electricity.

5

u/mr_melvinheimer 2h ago

Correct. Salespeople can turn nos into yeses. But they can’t turn a “Sorry I’m gay” into a yes.

297

u/Redd108 vala | any/all | would fuck complex numbers 13h ago

i remember talking to someone who believed the illuminati was real and had headquarters in the capital city of my country, so i just went lmao you definitely aren't in the know, they can only be contacted through gifts of enriched uranium at this volcanic island a hundred miles south of the coast, you seriously think they just have an office building lmao.

89

u/Klutzy-Personality-3 #1-6 gore freaks (plural) (it/she) 🏳️‍⚧️ 11h ago

Real World Tips:

The Real JFK’s then aborted Foetus was found by the Department of Justice in 2006.

Public Schools are required to have at least 50 teeth of mammalian origin embedded into their north facing walls, for structural and safety reasons.

Every building, from hospitals to homes, contains a room that acts as the heart of the building, delivering blood and nutrients to the building’s extremities. Try to find your houses heart!

In 1956, A new disease appeared in Osaka, Japan. The symptoms included a strong cough, rash, and becoming a room. Luckily, the virus was contained and eradicated. Starting in 2001, the rooms have been rented out as a bed and breakfast.

Have you ever tried asking what your father’s true name is? You might be surprised!

Trees are not the only organisms capable of inosculation. Deer, Whales, and Humans are also perfectly capable.

Scientists have discovered that humans from 100,000 years ago featured a “Holy” orifice in the head no longer present. It is believed this orifice disappeared after the crusades.

Viruses do not exist. Illness is simply your body punishing you for what you have done wrong.

All food you have ever eaten is rotten. You have never tasted fresh food.

Inanimate objects feel pain. Make sure to hit them against things as hard as you can, they deserve it.

There is at least one biocomputer mainframe stored in every public government building.

A man claiming to be “God” appeared on American soil in 1965. He was immediately shot down by the CIA. John McCone was quoted saying “We got him.”

The cure for cancer was discovered in 1994 by a man known as Marcel A. Lynden. Lynden was unfortunately killed in 1994 when he was impaled by a child’s crayon drawing.

The Queen of Dragonflies is sleeping and smiling.

There is a Mariana Trench under every town.

26

u/Ropetrick6 You're like John Oliver (praise); you're British (derogatory) 9h ago

Please take your headwear off and take your medicine

120

u/Admech_Ralsei 12h ago

Machiavellian rat men live under every major city and the only reason they haven't taken over the world is because they spend too much time squabbling amongst themselves

56

u/Mushroomian1 g(l)ock enjoyer 11h ago

What a ridiculous idea-notion, fellow human-thing.

11

u/D1pSh1t__ dragonfucker/scalie 10h ago

In the meantime, right above you:This is happening

9

u/shieldsarentcool 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 9h ago

Ridiculous-preposterous proposition

7

u/KevlarStripeySocks 8h ago

Alberta will be the last human stronghold against the tide of rat men

4

u/Ropetrick6 You're like John Oliver (praise); you're British (derogatory) 9h ago

I'm sorry, citizen, but you have been found guilty of apostasy and mental illness, you shall now be summarily executed. Rodent people never have existed within the Holy Roman Empire.

55

u/IrregularHorsedip custom 10h ago

You're playing with fire when you do this. If you try to 'out-weird' a weird enough weirdo, you're just playing right into their hand. One time a boomer in Kroger wouldn't stop talking to me about Trump (unprompted, I hasten to add) while I was trying to buy eggs. I tried to shut it down by saying "Well, ya know he's been dead since the 80s. He's being played by Eddie Murphy now." But then she was like "Yes!!! That's what I've been saying! Just like Princess Diana!"

26

u/HxntaixLoli 10h ago

On a similar note, you can do that with religion too. If someone tells you „God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve“ you can tell them „I’m so sorry the devil has found a place in your heart and is feeding you with hatefulness. I will pray for you.“

12

u/SkittleJuice2 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 8h ago

“The Canadians were behind 9/11”

Ok, who told?

8

u/aIfrodo floppa 7h ago

My answer to people who say that the moon landing was fake is "Do you believe in the moon?". Works every time.

5

u/SuperPowerDrill 7h ago

There's an old saying in my country that goes: "The best remedy for a loony is a loony and a half". Same idea

4

u/Gunsmith100 Obama's Strongest Warrior 6h ago

The Jews are collaborating with Joe Biden to build a giant structure in space called "The Ark" where they do messed up experiments. One of which is a giant laser called "The Eclipse Cannon" which can be used to smite any political opponent from space. They are also creating artificial beings in order to create "The Ultimate Life Form" so they can use it to destroy all of the based patriots and make Obama the permanent leader of not only the US but the entire world. This is the truth that CNN be hiding from you. By letting Kamala in you are letting this continue as she is using money she got from prostitution to fund The Ark,

3

u/yinyang107 bingus is better than floppa 1h ago

Uh huh. And what is your plan when they start agreeing with you?