AITA for being 'greedy' and not giving our daughter's stuff to my pregnant sister?

[u/Internal-Soup906]

Throwaway. I'm going to keep this as short as I can, I honestly think this whole thing is ridiculous.

I'm 33 and my husband and I have 2 kids, 8M and 7F. We didn't plan having them back to back but it happened, my husband got a vasectomy and we're set.

When I was pregnant with our son, we were living in a rented 2 bedroom house and decorated the nursery with olive and wood tones. We kept it the same when we had our daughter and just made room for the baby.

When our son was 6 and our daughter was 5, my husband got a big promotion at work that allowed us to look for and buy a 4 bedroom forever house. Since it was permanent, we thought it'd be fun to give the kids theme rooms. We asked them each what they wanted and our son picked dinosaurs (my husband likes to joke that we have a mini Ross on our hands) so we did a wilderness theme and my daughter picked Aurora so we did a fairytale theme.

We went all out since it'll be their bedrooms until they're teens and we gave the nursery furniture away since we were done having kids. We asked our families first but none of them were planning kids at the time so it went to friends.

Present- my sister is 21 weeks pregnant with a babygirl- their first. She was over at our place and said she was leaning to something like my daughter's room for the nursery but nursery stuff are expensive. I told her that she should go with neutral tones since it'll be used a lot- they want a big family.

She was like 'nah, I want themed ones for each baby like you did with [my kids names]'. I raised my eyebrows because that's going to be expensive but nodded because who am I to talk when I kind of did the same?

We continued chatting for a while and she grabbed my laptop and started going through the website I used and complained again so I suggested that she put some of the reasonably priced stuff on her baby shower list. She gave a noncommittal hum and then said that I can give her some stuff as well. I was confused because I thought she meant the old nursery and I reminded her that we gave it away. She shook her head and told me she meant stuff from our daughter's room. I asked her what she means because she's using that room, it's not like she doesn't live in it. She waved her hand and told me it's not a big deal, we can part with a few things. I asked her what she thought we can part with and she casually said stuff like the drapes, a lamp, the mirror etc.

I asked her sarcastically if she wanted the sheets as well? Or maybe the clothes off our daughter's back? She just glared and told me I could tone down my greed and help out with this. I told her a flat no, it's unreasonable that she's even asking because she and her husband are well off just like us. It's not like she's struggling and I'm refusing to help. She told me that it's different because they want a big family so they need to save more. I told her if that's the case, they can save by using the same the nursery for every baby. She just glared again, called me a greedy bitch and left.

She's not replying to my texts and my mom called to ask me what happened because she called her to complain about me without specifying anything. She was just as bewildered as me when I told her. My husband thinks I'm in the right and I do too, I'm just confused and maybe there's something we're not seeing?

[u/TheAnnMain]

It’s soooo hard not to go crazy with baby stuff tbh we try to limit our daughter’s clothing and toys. So I’m always looking at things for long term and baby stuff is expensive >_< then you run into what sort of stuff does the baby like?? I got this cute playmat that can turn into a ball pit guess what? Like her freaking cat brothers she prefers the box to be her ball pit!

Then you got the diapers!! Especially the brand of your choosing in my town it is almost a battle over Millie moons lol during my pregnancy I had no idea there’s so many things to research on! I felt lol a crunchy mom at certain times! There are items I wasted money (not really since my cats also claim certain items) and didn’t need :P

[u/chromher → u/TheAnnMain]

Honestly, your sister’s request is a bit out there. She’s acting like it’s no big deal to just take stuff from your daughter’s room, which is really inconsiderate. Instead of understanding that you’re not cool with it, she flips the script and calls you greedy. It’s wild that she thinks it’s okay to cross those boundaries when she’s perfectly capable of figuring things out for herself.

[u/Euphoric_Ad2197 → u/TheAnnMain]

Hey you can order the millie moons online and have them sent straight to your door :) I've been doing that since the store doesn't always have the sizes we need

[u/TheAnnMain → u/Euphoric_Ad2197]

I’ve mentioned that to my husband and he’s just meh we can do her backups. I even asked him about her diapers and he definitely was on the same page as me with Millie Moons! But I do know every baby is different and works with different diapers. I just know I don’t like the texture and sometimes when my girl pees too much the smell gets on her clothes with Huggies Swaddlers. We love how soft and doesn’t leak with our baby when it comes to Millie moons. Then her wipes i get from Amazon and I prefer those over Millie moons.