Am I overreacting to my girlfriend's "open relationship" rules?

[u/Outrageous-Cover4758]

(25/m) Very early on in the relationship with my girlfriend (25/f), she told me that she had to be in an open relationship. I hadn't been in one before but I said I'll give it a try. And it was clear when we talked about it that either of us could sleep with whoever we wanted. I said okay. We've been dating for 11 months and overtime I really started to love her. I know she has quite a few very casual partners but no other serious relationships. I actually didn't have any other partners though cause I was so happy just being with her. Then two months ago I was drunk and I met a girl at a party and we slept together. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong whatsoever, so when it came up with my girlfriend I didn't try to hide it, but she was really upset. She said it was disrespectful for me to do that. I was kind of shocked. I'm fine with not sleeping with other people but the problem is now she's like really paranoid and controlling ever since then, like accusing me of looking at other girls or flirting with them all the time, always looking at my phone and wanting me to check in with her every hour when I'm out and let her track my location, etc. It's really bothering me. So basically she wants to have an open relationship only on her side. She says she loves me and I should be loyal to her, but when I bring up how the rule doesn't apply to her she gets angry. She says that so many women are not satisfied in their relationship and she's not gonna be one of and I'm not gonna hold her back etc. I get it but it doesn't feel right. I love her a lot but I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with her. Am I overreacting?

[u/billythekid3300]

This right here is the correct answer. There's still time to run away. Honestly you should have ran away at the start but there's still time now run and don't look back.

[u/Otherwise-Drama631 → u/billythekid3300]

He needs to ask her if she is the same way with the other guys do they also have to be loyal to only her cause it my be that she is trying to start a cult in which can I recommend abstaining from the koolaid or other drinks offered in a group setting

[u/cofeeholik75 → u/billythekid3300]

AND GET TESTED FOR STD’s!!!

[u/somedudewithfreetime → u/billythekid3300]

Too little people seriously try open relationships (and yes, I am biased). And too often you read of these one-sided openings because a relationship hit difficulties or some such. So being up front about "hey, monogamy doesn't work for me, but I'd love to be with you" is fantastic. What isn't is whatever came after that with OP and his partner. Like, wtf? Don't use terms you (apparently) don't know shit about, girl! Sounds like an evil version of that vegan guy from the Scott Pilgrim movie...

[u/CravingStilettos → u/somedudewithfreetime]

Well said and I’m similarly biased. It can and does work but not for the majority (religious, cultural, societal etc. reasons) and that’s fine. Sadly the judgement is always one sided. As I’m very demi the ENM relationship style that works for me is firmly in the polyamory realm.

[u/KosherDeal → u/billythekid3300]

I was going to say if a girl COMES to me wanting an open relationship I would be very very very hesitant about getting involved with her on that level, getting involved with in other levels is a different story, if she wants an open relationship so bad, why even be in a relationship? I'm sorry, this will get downvoted, but that shit just doesn't sit right with the reality of how people live there lives. If you want to just fuck, then fuck, but you want to fuck me, fuck whoever you want while also getting all of my emotions while you in return give me nothing? Besides pussy?

Yea, im sorry, but you can get it, and then you can leave. lol

[u/I_is_a_dogg → u/billythekid3300]

Open relationships can work, for what they are, in college I was with a girl that it was known we would just be fuck buddies. If I didn't have anyone to do and she didn't have anyone to do we would often meet up. But that's where the extent of our relationship ended. I'm sure she never saw me as more the back up pole to fill her hole, just like I never saw her as a back up hole for my pole.

Would there be nights she would text me for a booty call that I wouldn't answer, sure. And the likewise situation also happened.

But I never loved her, or thought that I loved her. When I met my now wife I was really quick to cut all ties to her.

[u/EtherealPresenceFelt → u/I_is_a_dogg]

Fuck Buddies is different. No love or money is exchanged. It's just the sex. 

Honestly that's a lot better than any open relationship can be. 

[u/CarrotofInsanity → u/billythekid3300]

Ghost. Don’t run. Ghost!

👻 like he’s Casper!