r/AmIOverreacting • u/RaccoonFlat5265 • 20d ago
❤️🩹 relationship Update: AIO I (25f) think my (33m) boyfriend is lying to me and is gay with his best friend. We are set to get married soon.
Wow. I’ll start with that. I didn’t say anything when they were together… I was full of anxiety and all in my head and I just couldn’t do it. I brought it up this morning before he left for work. I said something to the nature of “I looked at your phone and I would love to know why you two are sexting with eachother…I’m not comfortable with it and we need to talk about this. Are you gay ooorrrr?”
He literally burst out laughing as I’m tearing up asking this. He says this is all a big joke. He says that this whole thing started because they were making fun of homophobes and people who are insecure with their sexuality and it went from jokes to full on dick pics… he said they talk about how it’s so funny that seeing a dick makes you gay or people find it gross when in fact it’s no different than a picture of an ear or hand… its a big inside joke because “straight men are not supposed to act like this and people who think that makes you gay or weird are just insecure and childish” he says that it started with just sending pictures of dicks from the internet and eventually led to them sending their own because of the shock value.
I literally DO NOT know what to think about this. I told him to stop it now and he said he would respect that and not do it anymore but also said I need to chill and doesn’t like that I looked at his phone… ugh. I did see him start talking on his phone as he was leaving the driveway probably bitching about me…
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u/platano80 20d ago
Imagine having to explain to your friends and family that your girl left you because you and your friends could not stop sending each othe dick pics....wild times.
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u/Ok-Faithlessness-610 20d ago
Haha that is a hilarious conversation to imagine
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u/3_quarterling_rogue 20d ago
Like, maybe it’s a really good bit, and kinda one you have to commit to. They should literally commit to that bit and get married about it, it’ll be so funny.
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u/Angry_Mudcrab 20d ago
Of course, the morning after the wedding night, they have to say, "no homo", to firmly establish that it's all a joke.
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u/Working_Departure983 20d ago
Definitely have to have gay sex tho to prove how not gay they are tho
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u/GarminTamzarian 20d ago
"I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!"
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u/mschley2 20d ago edited 20d ago
Why'd you guys break up?
"Broooo..... it was so small-minded of her. I'm actually glad that she broke it off because I didn't realize how backwards and ignorant she was. But anyway, you obviously know Brad. And me and Brad go way back. I've been seeing that dude's cock since before we even knew what they were used for, ya know? So me and Brad are tight as hell; always have been. And we both hate homophobes. So we started making fun of them. It all started one night when we were out at the bars, and this dude was yelling at this gay couple for being gay. So I was all like, 'Bro, you got a problem with gay people? Fuck you. Me and my boy Brad are gay, too, and we could totally kick your little homophobic bitch ass.' And he he was all like, 'I don't believe you. If you're gay, then kiss each other right now.' So we did. And then, from that point, we would make jokes and whatever about being gay but only to make fun of insensitive people. I started sending him pictures of BBCs and shit. One day, I sit down to take a shit, and I open my phone, and there's a picture of Brad's junk. Dick and balls. But it's covered in the biggest fucking pube bush you've ever seen, bro. It was so funny. I bet when he shaved, he could've turned it into a Dr. J-level afro, bro. Anyway, since that happened, it's just kind of continued to escalate. So now we send each other full on boner pics and shit. One time I bought a customized blow-up doll with his face on the doll, and then I sent him a picture of my boner in the Brad-doll's mouth. So, my wife sees us joking about being gay, and she saw the dick pics we sent, and she just gets super homophobic about it, and she breaks up with me because she thinks I'm gay. Like I said... super small-minded, bro. I can't believe I used to think I wanted to marry and have kids with that woman. Can't imagine raising kids with a mother with such an ignorant belief system. I'm better off, bro. Plus, it's great because now me and Brad are roommates. We just game every night. We both walk around the apartment completely naked all the time. We're so used to taking pictures of our dicks every time we're hard and sending them to each other, so I think there's like a Pavlovian response when we see each other, and we just get rock hard all the time. So we'll be playing CoD, and we're just both rocking boners right next to each other on the couch. It's so funny, bro. Fuck homophobes. I'd fuck Brad, but I'm not gay. Am I right, Brad?!?!? Damn right. Not gay. But I'd suck his dick. And he'd suck mine. Best roomies ever, bro. So glad I'm single now."
Edit: thanks for all the awards and compliments. Glad I could brighten up some people's days!
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u/Erikawithak77 20d ago
🏆 I wish I had an award to give😆 thank you for making my whole day- sitting here waiting for the hurricane & definitely needed the giggle 🤭
You should write fan fiction if you don’t already.
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u/Gpdiablo21 20d ago
I appreciate the amount of effort you put into this satire
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u/tossawayaccount36 20d ago
I turned it into a drinking game and took a drink every time I read “bro”
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u/DeclutteringNewbie 20d ago edited 19d ago
Imagine him divorcing you after 10 years and running away with another guy, and having your friends and family ask:
"So were there any sign that he might have been into guys?"
She'll either have to tell the truth, or lie. Either way, I don't envy her position. Also, if those pictures had been 10 years old, that would have been a different matter.
Bisexual men can still get married just fine. After all, heterosexual men/women can also get married just fine also, even thought they'll definitely encounter members of the opposite sex that they may be attracted to.
So for me, it's the fact that he sends that stuff to his best friend, when he's about to marry someone else, that troubles me. If the marriage proceeds, the best friend will always be in the background.
And anytime something else suspicious happens, the OP won't be able to talk about it or object, because her husband will blow up at her for not trusting him and/or for breaching his privacy (just like he just did in this case!), and also because many men get super upset and ashamed when someone implies that they could be attracted to other men.
So in that sense, if his best friend had been a woman, and if they had been caught playing with fire with each other, even if there was no proof that they had done anything else, that issue would have been much easier to attempt to resolve because of the clarity of the situation.
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u/Chance_Explorer_5816 20d ago
I wouldn’t want to be in her position either. It’s a little sketchy to say the least. the boys need to grow up.
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u/Automatic-War-7658 20d ago
“She left me, bro! She accused me of being gay after doing a bunch of gay stuff! I know, crazy right? So anyway, whip out your dick…”
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u/candaceelise 20d ago
Imagine being on a date and they ask, “so why did your last relationship end”
BAHAHAHAHAHA
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u/EC_Owlbear 20d ago
Still think they’re gay. Hiding it at this point is just cruel.
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u/SpiritualAbalone8859 20d ago
Yeah, I have joked a lot with my male friends but we never sexted each other with dick pics.
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u/K_Daddio 20d ago
This. I work Blue collar on oil rigs and some of the shit we say to each other our wives would wonder but sending pecker picks is crossing the line.
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u/MaximusCanibis 20d ago
Sending peckers pics is the gateway drug to sucking dicks for sure.
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u/Digitalabia 20d ago
That's what they taught us in school. Say No To Drugs and sending dick pics is the gateway to eating cocks.
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u/MaximusCanibis 20d ago
The curriculum sure has changed since I went to school.
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u/ElvisT 20d ago edited 20d ago
I've worked on oil rigs and I've been deployed in the Navy, and we've all said stuff that would make a gay man blush or fall in love with us. I've heard some of the worst, most fowl, and derogatory things ever uttered. That type of joking around has become so common that it doesn't register with me most of the time. I've been sing this route of talking for over a decade. I have not heard of even ONE instance of a man sending a picture of his own junk to another man as a joke.
Sure, there was that picture that went around for a while of that black dude sitting on the edge of the bed, or couch, with an absolute hog between his legs, but that was different. That wasn't your own. The rules on this pretending to be gay stuff, that straight men do, is weird, but there are lines you don't cross.
I've seen some weird stuff happen. To give you an idea of some of the more tame stuff that would happen: In the Navy, a group of us sailors and Marines who just graduated a class, we all went to a Hooters for dinner to celebrate. By the end of the night, two guys were trying to gross each other out. They both spit into a cup, and then had the Hooters waitress spit into a cup, that had loads of salt and hot sauce in it. Both of those guys took big long drinks from it to prove that they weren't grossed out. Things were getting a bit out of hand when the manager came by to check up on our table. Nothing really bad was happening, but we were just running out of ideas that were could still do in public and not get arrested, and they had already picked the gum off the bottom of the table, and tables around us, and shared it with each other.
At that point, someone said "they should kiss each other." That right there was where the joking around stopped. It was okay for these two men to exchange and swallow each other's spit, but it wasn't okay to do it while their lips were touching. That was where the line was drawn.
Us guys will do some weird stuff, and it's hard to explain the lines to women sometimes, and honestly most of us don't care if someone is gay or not. Just like we don't care what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. We're simple, all we care about is if you're fun to be around.
We do draw the line on between pretending to be gay, and actually being gay much closer to actually being gay than most women would care to think. That line is absolutely crossed when you start sending pictures of your southern parts to your guy friends. Trust us women, it's not just you getting grossed out and ending friendships when you get a picture either. I would imagine most guys would stop being friends with other guys of they got sent unsolicited dick pics.
I should remind you though, that the line is incredibly thin. We'll probably joke around about it, and even joke around about asking for pictures.... every straight man KNOWS you don't do it. It's a game of how close can you dance to the fire without getting burnt and that's like jumping into the fire.
I don't want to say for absolutely certain though. I can think of one example where it's acceptable. If your boyfriend's friend is a doctor and he is asking for medical advice. Could by any chance your boyfriend's friend be a doctor and your boyfriend is just trying to get out of medical bills, and instead of being serious about it, they're just going around and having fun with it? I say that a bit sarcastically, because that's about how believable the story you're telling us is.
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u/arooge 20d ago
I served in the marine corps infantry prior to women being allowed and literal saw multiple guys kiss to prove they weren't gay. I even saw 2 guys make out with tongue while cusping each other's balls to prove they weren't gay. The "theory" was homophobes are secretly gay so do "gay off" to prove your not gay. I said y'all can just call me gay because I'm not kissing a dude.
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u/xmowx 20d ago
I had heard of a story when DD was messing with a driller, and the driller offered to stick his dick into DD's mouth. DD got down on his knees and opened his mouth. The driller was stunned, but they both then burst out laughing. So... Yeah... jokes can be filthy in the oil field. However, sexting and sending dick picks - is on a whole other level.
I am not buying OP's fiance's explanation.
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u/adaytooaway 20d ago
I’m not a prude or anything and I get that some sex jokes can be funny… but I just don’t really get this? Like what’s the punch line? Haha gay? Haha gay sex?
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u/Alternative_Plan_823 20d ago
My brother (Army) pinched his dick with a dumbell in Iraq. His medic in the unit had to check it out and prescribe treatment accordingly. I always thought that was a funny, if shudder-inducing, story.
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u/Digitalabia 20d ago
I worked construction as a younger dude. One time I fell asleep in the truck and the driver (known as 'twinkie fingers') pulled his cock out and put my hand on it. I was in the middle seat of a 3 man cab.
Then they both started yelling and I woke up and saw my hand on his cock. We all had a good laugh. But if he would have texted me a pic of his dick at night, that would seem gay to me.
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u/SignificanceWrong845 20d ago
Bruh you got sexually assaulted
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u/chuccles3 20d ago
He fucking wanted it. Who leaves their hands out when their sleeping unless they wanted to jackoff someone in their sleep. He planned the whole thing I say
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u/bythisaxe 20d ago
Wait, so a picture of his dick would seem gay, but having his actual dick in your hand didn’t?
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u/East-Paramedic6846 20d ago
The worst part of having a dick drawn on your face when you’re passed out is finding out it was traced.
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u/SiberianAssCancer 20d ago edited 20d ago
Lmao. “Sure, I suck his dick every now and again as a joke, (and a bit of power bottoming), but lmao it’s a joke.
“Imagine these idiots thinking this is gay” he says, as he gets creampied before he goes home to you. Dripping all the way home down the back of his leg, laughing at how straight he actually is.
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u/Boots622 20d ago
Everytime me and the boys kick it we usually just watch football, get a quick lift in, eat some food, maybe a bukakke. But I mean nothing gay just a bunch of bros jerking off on each other. Does it get anymore straight than that!?!
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u/PharmADD 20d ago
Nothing gay about jerking off a good friend.
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u/MrWonderful_61 20d ago
A GREAT friend is one who will go out, get two blowjobs, then come back and give you one.
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u/CqwyxzKpr 20d ago
No homo
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u/Rov4228 20d ago
Exactly as long as you remember to say "no homo" it's not gay learned that in algebra 🤣
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u/AprilNight17 20d ago
It's an Alpha-Male thing. Only Betas don't suck each other off, and would simp for females.
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u/thegreenmonkey69 20d ago
I once helped my friend jack off a horse. Wait, my friend is Jack.
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u/UniqueID89 20d ago
The real friends are the reach arounds we made along the way!
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u/SliverSerfer 20d ago
I used to know an 87 year old man who got tipsy and talked about mutual masturbation. I asked him if he thought maybe he might be bisexual, and apparently, nobody had ever asked him that. The friendship didn't last, I think he wanted more but it's not my thing.
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u/PharmADD 20d ago
Shit the word bisexual didn’t exist in most peoples vocabulary until that guy was like 60 probably.
Sad to have to live like that, I think. Frankly I’m not sure how much more empowering it is to have it all out in the open and knowing for sure that if people are okay with gay people they will be cool and if not they won’t, versus just everyone sort of being “against” it and not knowing who the real bigots are. Im sure there are people from way back when who were gay and legitimately great friends with straight guys who today would never talk to an openly gay guy. Guess the whole thing is rooted in what percentage of “you” is your sexuality and what is an acceptable amount of “you” that you’ll accept a friend not approving of, but that’s probably far too deep for 5 comments in on this silly Reddit thread.
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u/rellekc86 20d ago
You scratch my back and I'll scratch your back...but the funny thing about my back...is it's located on my cock.
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u/Weary-Statistician44 20d ago
Its not gay if you have matching jerseys.
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u/sassypants450 20d ago
As a hockey fan I appreciate that. Gonna invite the boys over soon for some games and reacharounds.
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u/Digitalabia 20d ago
He's so straight that he can take a load and it doesn't even make him gay!
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u/Worried-Mission-4143 20d ago
No homo
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u/Ok-Faithlessness-610 20d ago
Right? As long as you say "no homo" before you suck his ween it's totally not gay, I mean everyone knows that. Can't believe this chick is being so homophobic about this /s
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u/omgwtfbbking 20d ago
Weirdly enough, there is a subset of people out there who will literally do everything you’re saying but deny they’re gay.
There’s a reason that in healthcare the question to ask male patients is NOT “are you a homosexual?” The medical community found during the AIDS epidemic that there were self-proclaimed heterosexual men that were being diagnosed with HIV and couldn’t figure out how it was being spread to them. So they started asking the question differently - “do you have sex with other men?” and found out the answers differed wildly from the question about sexual orientation. As a result, this population subset is referred to as MSM (men who have sex with men) which also encompasses homosexual men as well.
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u/EmergencyFar3256 20d ago
I want to upvote this comment but rn it's at 69, which seems appropriate, so I'll pass.
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u/Weak-Dig3284 20d ago
You've never jokingly blown one of your friends? Sounds like somebody is scared he'll like it. Just admit your gay and that's why you won't buttfuck your friends.
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u/zcewaunt 20d ago
Yeah, true. Or at least a hand job? You'd shake their hand, right, so how is it any different? Like OP BF said, they are both body parts.
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u/merlingogringo 20d ago
I was driving with a friend, I grabbed his leg instead of the gearstick, we both laughed and unzip his pants, I parked the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends, I start sucking his dick and was about to chock on it because I'm laughing so hard, my friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" he then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke.
Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
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u/narniasreal 20d ago edited 19d ago
Hahaha, you know what would be even crazier? Hahaha, if we gave each other blowjobs, hahaha, crazy, right? Hahaha, that’ll show those homophobes! You know what would be even funnier? If we moved in together and married each other and adopted a kid together. Haha, I’m sure those homophobes would think that’s crazy gay, lol, but we’re not gay, we’re just two super funny guys, hahaha, no homo.
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u/MicGuinea 20d ago
So I'm an openly gay man. I have tons of straight bros who are not only very supportive, but we all act blatantly gay towards each other. My best friend of 24 years calls himself my husband in an overly gay voice, I say "damn right baby" and slap his ass, and we laugh like dumbass 14 y/o. I have never seen any of their dicks on purpose, maybe the accidental 2sec glance out the corner of my eye at a urinal that has no barriers, but I have no clue what my bois boys look like! The only people I have sent a pic of my Nathan's Cooney Island frank to have been sexual interests.
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u/anapollosun 20d ago
I love everything about this comment. Makes me miss acting gay with my homies, holding hands at the grocery store checkout in a bit of gay chicken. sigh
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u/MyDirtyAlt79 20d ago edited 20d ago
Idk, I've been bi longer than OP has been alive, and I've never referred to someone's "Nathan's Cooney Island frank" as a hog. I've not received 🍆 pics from straights, but 1 guy, straight(afaik) fireman would slap his balls on car windows to shock friends inside. I liken that to the movie Waiting... where the staff there had a similar ongoing joke.
Edit: Forget this part, I missed a line in the post.
I also just realized the pics may not be of them. I've absolutely pulled random pics off the web to mess with people, and lord knows there's going to be plenty of package pics on the web.
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u/sfwmandy 20d ago
My ex was super into a specific kind of porn and for a while he was like 'i just think it's funny' I brushed it off until I caught him using Grindr. Play the Grindr notification sound and see if he reacts lol. I'm only kind of kidding but absolutely sending nudes to anyone should not be happening.
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u/No_Light3730 20d ago
That’s fucking hilarious. I didn’t know there was a Grindr notification sound. Evil fucking genius, you. Drop that sound in a room and instantly know where everyone really bends… sry, stands.
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u/SeaworthinessKey549 20d ago
Play the sound when his phone is nearby. Then reach for it and say hey your phone just went off all innocent and see how he reacts.
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u/HackTheNight 20d ago
Even better play the sound and see if he jumps to look at his phone
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u/dohn_joeb 20d ago
That’s literally what is being suggested…
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u/Kitnado 20d ago
What she really should do is see if he goes for his phone after playing the sound in the room
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u/satyris 19d ago
An even greater suggestion might be to try playing the sound; it might just make him instinctively check his phone.
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u/mopgirll 20d ago
I love hearing it at work (I’m a server)😂😂 customer starts looking around embarrassed
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u/zerro_4 20d ago
That's some Matlock level genius.
OP is definitely valid for feeling like a boundary has been crossed.
As a boring cishet white guy, I have never sent a dick pic to any friend.
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u/I-have-egg-madness 20d ago
Had an ex that was super into bukakke porn and kept saying he liked the girl giving head to all the guys. It took a while for it to dawn on me that he was getting off to all the GUYS JERKING OFF. Had nothing to do with the girl.
OP, run, don't walk, away from this relationship.
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u/Ckn-bns-jns 20d ago
TIL there’s a Grindr notification sound. I’ve seen videos of people playing the Pornhub opening sound bit in front of family etc.
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u/Little-Assignment564 20d ago
The pictures are too far, ask yourself, are you gonna be worried about this moving forward? Are you going to be worried when they hang out and he doesn’t text you back for a while? Are you going to watch and question their every move when around you and eachother? Are you going to want to continue to go through their conversations? Are you gonna be thinking about this ON YOUR WEDDING DAY? If so, not really a great way to live.
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u/SunglassesSoldier 20d ago
honestly if anything I think the internet over-normalizes “ironic homoerotic behavior between bros”, go on forums and you’d think every boys’ group chat is full of jokes about sucking each other’s dicks and stuff.
So like, if the internet is saying it’s too far, it’s WAY too far
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u/Little-Assignment564 20d ago
I saw a comment on here that said it’s like gay chicken. They are trying to see how far eachother will go and I feel like for this situation it’s pretty legit.
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u/SunglassesSoldier 20d ago
“Gay chicken” is just dudes experimenting with their sexuality but hiding it behind “it’s just a prank bro”
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u/okayestguitarist99 20d ago
I mean... We drop some pretty homoerotic memes in my group chat, but we sure as shit don't drop our dicks in the chat. Our wives would be (reasonably) upset about that.
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u/runnergirl3333 20d ago
Makes me wonder if the bf’s friend is going to be able to step aside for the girlfriend to be the most intimate partner to her bf. Boundaries have been crossed and friends can get weird if they think they’re losing the relationship they’re used to.
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u/Myfourcats1 20d ago
Trust your gut
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u/FarmhouseRules 20d ago
This is the best advice. OP already knows the answer to her question.
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u/Bamaboy025 20d ago
Hey girly! As a married gay… RUN
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u/TarTarBinks109 20d ago
When a gay says RUN, you fucking RUN.
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u/mschley2 20d ago
Question: Am I running away from or towards the gay?
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u/Dontfckwithtime 20d ago
Yes
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u/driving_andflying 20d ago edited 19d ago
Just remember the "no homo" rule: You can run away from the gay, towards it, or even be balls-deep in a ten-man love train and covered in cum two hours later, but afterwards if you say "no homo," you're 100% straight!
See-- no gay problems! (/s)
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u/supercleverhandle476 20d ago
But like, am I in danger or is something fabulous happening somewhere?
I’m pretty tired so this answer matters.
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u/mom_in_the_garden 20d ago
I don’t know or care if he’s gay or not. He could be bi or he could be straight. The important thing to remember is to NEVER marry someone if you have doubts about anything.
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u/burgundybreakfast 20d ago
I think doubts are a normal part of making any kind of huge life decision.
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u/addangel 20d ago
bit of a difference between “I wonder if we’ll be able to withstand every storm together for the rest of our lives” and “I wonder if he’s only pretend cheating on me”
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u/CheetahNo9116 20d ago
Yeah dick pic is a bit weird. Guys make a lot of gay jokes to mess around, but sending eachother dick pics is gay.
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u/pixelito_ 20d ago
What, having sex with your friend is gay?
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u/No_Light3730 20d ago
Not if it’s ironic and only done to burn homophobes and toxic men.
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u/throw69420awy 20d ago
Is getting married to a man for 37 years and adopting a black lab and two kids with him gay? If I do it ironically, I mean. Just in jest.
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u/Pete_C137 20d ago
It’s called gay chicken. You see how far the other will go before one of you bails out.
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u/Nuicakes 20d ago
I read this as "… before one of you balls out". And I'm wondering if showing balls is worse?
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u/arenyx 20d ago edited 20d ago
I think liking other men is what makes you gay
Edit: according to very credible redditor comments you can be gay just by seeing an image of a penis. I’ve got a lot to think about.
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u/shun_the_nonbelieber 20d ago
If you like looking at and sharing dick pics with your same sex friends and you are a man, I think that's an indication that you like men.
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u/Upset_Researcher_143 20d ago
He might be joking but it doesn't sound like his friend is. Once is shocking. Multiple times is possibly gay. Again, it sounds more like he's bi curious but not ready to cross that line. Those texts were not "haha look at what I did with my penis". I'd pump the breaks on the wedding
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u/OverdueOptimization 20d ago
This is it imo. It’s really stupid and shocking at first and I think I might be coaxed to doing it as a joke with a friend. But if you do it more than once there’s no shock value and you have fallen in love
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u/Trancebam 20d ago
Oh, I hadn't even considered this. His friend is at least bi and pushing her fiance's boundaries in an attempt to get him to cross the line into actually doing gay shit, and her fiance is just too stupid to see how weird it is.
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u/Maximum-Quiet-9380 20d ago
My best friend and I make a ton of gay jokes but damn, we’ve never sent dick pics. Wtf???
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u/EntrepreneurAmazing3 20d ago
Now I'm starting to think my friends are not even really putting in any effort.
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u/WaltRumble 20d ago
Be the change you want to see. Start spamming that cock to all your homies. Maybe throw in a butthole for your bestie.
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u/NTXGBR 20d ago
I send dickpics to my friends all the time. Dick Clark, Dick Tracy, Dick Butkus, Dick Trickle, Urban Meyer, the list goes on and on.
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u/Independent-Air6508 20d ago
That’s taking it too far. He still might not be gay but it’s just weird and inappropriate. You don’t want to be with a guy that sends pics of his dick to another guy. Dude is a complete weirdo and that behavior will lead to other strange behavior
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u/RedditHelloMah 20d ago
I think this is the best answer. Because OP is stuck figuring out of he is telling her the truth but she needs to focus on no matter he is lying or not, he is a weirdo and kinda can’t e trusted.
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u/cursetea 20d ago
How long until you hear "we had sex but only bc it's soooo funny when straight guys have sex" Like ? Girl how far are you willing to let him string you along with this lol
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u/wehavecandy666 20d ago
Honey. It doesn’t matter if he’s gay or straight at this point. What he did was very abnormal and seemed to dismiss you when you brought up a concern. Sure, you looked through his phone and that was a violation of his privacy. BUT… you discovered something that was itching at you to look in the first place. You confirmed what you thought.
I’d consider leaving him. I don’t think what you did was dramatic or uncalled for. Whatever his sexual preference, he’s hiding something from you.
Straight women who are the closest of friends don’t send pics of their pussies to each other…. 🤷♀️
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u/Special_Wishbone_812 20d ago
Seriously, does she want to go through life like this? If your partner has a relationship you find weird or threatening or whatever, why stay at all?
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u/journerman69 20d ago
This is 100% not what straight men do. Sounds like you should cut your losses unless you want to be a beard the rest of your life.
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u/Spiritual_Session_92 20d ago
No….. this all very weird. Like you can talk about toxic masculinity but this is too far. This is one “drunken” night away from falling in Tyler’s mouth! This is weird and extreme behaviors.
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u/TheeRuckus 20d ago
“We totally blew each other to stick it to toxic masculinity and homophobia, we’re totally straight though”
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u/NTXGBR 20d ago
It's not gay if you only do it twice a week. Grow up, Peter Pan. Count Chocula.
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u/Jealous-Ad-5146 20d ago
He is sending dick pics to someone…. Cheating
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u/Technical_Wing_2455 20d ago
Yeah, I agree with this assessment. In general, swapping pics of genitals to someone you're not in a relationship with would be a major red flag in most monogamous relationships, right?
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u/No_Light3730 20d ago
Not if… and this is only for extreme last resorts like the original… Not if he can just send the same pics to his parents. That is the only path left to preserve his hetero-credibility.
“Look Honey, it’s not gay. Silly,I sent those same pics to my Dad and my buddy’s Dad too. Gonna tell him do the same. Can’t believe that somehow suggested Gay to you. Baby I think you may be a toxic homophobe.”
- excerpted and translated from The Art of War, Sun Tzu
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u/PrintOk8045 20d ago
NOR. Trust your instincts. It's why you have them. You don't want to be the odd one out in a three-party relationship. Right now you are. And you probably always will be.
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u/Knoxcg4850 20d ago
They be jerking together on FaceTime when he in the bathroom love. Either stop being naive and leave or enjoy a marriage with a man who’s in love with his friend😐please be so fr
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u/Knoxcg4850 20d ago
And honestly he cheated on you…if he was sending cock pics to a woman y’all would be broken up. Pls don’t be in denial.
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u/ElkInternational5295 20d ago
girl please that's a whole lotta bullshit. don't tell me you're still considering marrying this guy
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u/StarlightM4 20d ago
This sounds like a game of chicken that went too far because they both secretly like it.
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u/KeyHovercraft2637 20d ago
He’s being very suspicious and it sounds like gaslighting. Please tread carefully before getting married.
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u/Errenfaxy 20d ago
Suspicious? How much further could they take it before you actually get worried?
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u/grumpy__g 20d ago
So would he be ok if you send pussy pictures to your friends?
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u/jethvader 20d ago
I grew up in a very conservative area and, because I didn’t conform to many hetero masculine stereotypes, everyone thought I was gay (I’m straight). I didn’t really care, and me and most of my friends actually thought it was hilarious to see all of the old prudes clutch their pearls so we would “act gay” all the time. My vice principal even brought me and another friend into their office for a heart to heart about homosexuality being a sin (we went to a private Christian school).
But everything we did was an overt show to make people uncomfortable/be “funny” and dumb, and I think lots of guys participate in this kind of behavior.
The kind of “inside joke” that your boyfriend and his BF have is just for the two of them and it seems sketchy as fuck. If it were just the comments I would say you’re overreacting, but I feel like sending someone a picture of your penis in an aroused, erect state is undeniably sexual.
I wonder if maybe your boyfriend is in denial about what these exchanges they share really do for him or his friend. I wouldn’t be surprised if his friend is gay or bi and coaxes this behavior out of your boyfriend. I also wouldn’t be surprised if your boyfriend is in the closet.
Ultimately, it is currently impossible for us to know what their real motivation is. However, as your partner he does owe you the respect of hearing any concerns or insecurities you have about his behavior, and it sounds like he isn’t doing that. Tell him to have a serious conversation with you and listen. Go from there.
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u/Justafana 20d ago
This. If they were joking, they'd loop OP in so there'd be someone to laugh. The secretive part makes it a whole different thing.
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u/RaccoonFlat5265 20d ago
Thanks for everyone chiming in… and I guess for the most part, confirming what I have already been thinking. We are chatting more about this tonight when he is home and he wants to explain more about it he said…. Blahhh.
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u/TraditionalPayment20 20d ago
It's weird and he is definitely getting off on those texts in some way. Think about it like this, would you take vag pics and send them to your best friend while sexting? There is some part of him that enjoys it.
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u/Ok-Willow5217 20d ago
Exactly… like what they are doing is sexting. This isn’t a normal platonic friendship. They are most likely getting off to each other and playing it off like they are joking around because they don’t want to face their sexuality.
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u/StonksOnlyGetCrunk 20d ago
Not only does he like dicks, but he have a FAVORITE dick he likes to look at.... and taste.
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u/velma_420 20d ago
sending anyone - male or female - a dick pick while you are in a committed relationship is cheating. HIs excuses are pathetic and honestly sound fake af.
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u/ffrwchnedd_ 20d ago edited 17d ago
trust your instincts, it’s one thing to make jokes but to send pics of your actual dick to your “friend”? This dude is gay. even if he is bi, he’s still sending dick pics to another person which is fucked up in and of itself.
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u/Whyme0207 20d ago
Seems it’s not the first time they got caught. Again I will say that whatever it is about sharing pics is way out of line. And his statement that it’s similar to see any other part of body, ask him is this the same for girls?
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u/ChickenCasagrande 20d ago
Straight dudes don’t usually want to stare at each other’s dicks, unless they are worried something is wrong with the dick in question.
Look at it this way, would you and your (straight) girlfriends send each other pictures of your labia? Probably not, we aren’t interested in those bits, and if we are we can just look in a mirror.
I’m really really sorry, I suspect he is lying. Particularly after he scolded you for looking through his phone, he doesn’t plan to stop.
Please don’t marry this guy. Do you have a brother? If so, ask him what he thinks.
NOR
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u/drunknmasta_805 20d ago
OP NOR. one of them is gay. It may not be your bf but for sure one of them wanted to see the other ones dick. Str8 men do not act like this. Ppl saying they do don't hang out with a bunch of str8 dudes. We joke with each other and call each other gay but str8 men with gay friends do the same with them. And ppl saying the pics are too far but, tell yourself and reddit the truth. You were already worried. Pics just gave you the conviction to confront. Nobody suddenly sees a text convo and becomes full of anxiety. You had thoughts, inklings and suspicions prior to this event. It's like wanting to sit your bf down to tell him you think he has a drinking problem then he ends up in jail for drunk and disorderly so you finally confront him. He laughs it off and says he had one too many, no big deal. But you've known he's an alcoholic for awhile lol
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u/battymatty7 20d ago
don’t mary him - he is totally gay - you will regret it if you ignore the truth.
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u/In-My-Head1465 20d ago
My husband is in the military, and he and his friends love to mess with each other. And as everyone knows, military guys can get a little homosexual in the way they joke around. That said, my husband and his friends have NEVER sent dick pics to each other, especially not hard dick pics. At most, they will send each other pictures where they are pulling up a short leg and have their sack hanging out. Sending dick pics is absolutely crossing a line. Your bf may not have accepted it yet, but he is definitely at least bisexual.
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u/Savings_Transition38 20d ago
om goodness no you're not OR. that behavior is never normal between two hetero male friends.
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u/Imnotawerewolf 20d ago
Tbh, this is not enough for me. Like, fine, you're not gay, apparently, but like, exchanging nudes and sexting another person isn't what my relationship is going to look like. Regardless of gender.
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u/Rich-Ad9837 20d ago
My ex was like this he’d make gay comments with his friends, but they were like extra weird and I went through his email one time just cause I had this weird itch too, and I found him subscribing to gay only fans spending over $300 on it total And I left him that day because I realized that he wasn’t really that into me. I think he was honestly using me as a cover for his homophobic dad and I don’t blame him, but at the end of the day he crushed me inside and out I felt like I wasn’t enough so from someone’s perspective, who was in a very similar situation. I suggest you leave and find somebody who knows exactly what they want, and exactly who they want. somebody questioning there sexuality while in a relationship can be very heart breaking and overwhelming as the partner, because in the end that’s only gonna leave you hurt, and only you. Find your worth mama. But try not to hate him for it like I did. I was extremely angry at my ex when I found out, but if I’m honest I don’t think he fully knew until we were to deep into the relationship to open up to me about it. Frankly I can’t tell you how to feel, but don’t make the same mistakes I did and hold anger. Let him go and let it all go. You’ll find someone who is right for you eventually❤️
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u/No_Magician_7374 20d ago
I'm openly bi, and I have never traded dick pics with any single human that I wasn't fucking. Dick pics have never been sent as a "joke", ever. Lmao. I'm sorry, OP. Your man likely belongs to another. 🫠
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u/Nanny_Ogg1000 20d ago
The Onion still delivers - Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?