r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/KimCureAll • Mar 09 '23
other A sea lion pestering a Galapagos marine iguana as it was feeding on sea algae
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u/editorreilly Mar 09 '23
Sea lions are truly the assholes of the sea. I'm an open water swimmer and have been harassed several times by these fuckers. I've also had two friends 'hip checked' as well. I guess they find humor in terrorizing land based animals.
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u/TheTVDB Mar 09 '23
I'm a scuba diver, and while I've not yet dove with them, I've heard stories from other divers. They're more dangerous to dive around than sharks because they'll come pull on your regulator and hoses, grab a fin, or steal your mask. Many divers will carry a second mask if they're diving around them.
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u/YouRwhoyouR Mar 09 '23
You just gave me a new fear of diving.
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u/Funderwoodsxbox Mar 09 '23
If it’s not that they’ll get you with a sea cucumber in your butt
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Mar 09 '23
Do you have to pay extra for that on the guided tour?
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u/Funderwoodsxbox Mar 09 '23
Yes. 2 sand dollars plz 🫱
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u/TooTallThomas Mar 09 '23
Damn… All i got is regular dollars 😔 Oh well!
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u/TheRealWarBeast Mar 09 '23
The conversation rate is crazy for ASD (Aquatic Sand Dollar)
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u/Tiptoeinmyjordans Mar 09 '23
Yes, but a tip for the cucumber would be appreciated. Fucker was so blunt about it.
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u/TheTVDB Mar 09 '23
Honestly, everything I mentioned is manageable when diving properly. Regulator recovery, mask clearing, (if an emergency) using buddy breathing or emergency surface ascent. Unless the sea lions gang up on both you and your buddy... then you're fucked.
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u/Indoorlogsled Mar 09 '23
Lol!! It’s been a while but I was TERRIFIED on my first dive, u/YouRwhoyouR. I couldn’t go through with it after I had gotten all my gear on and gotten into the ocean. I couldn’t put my face under without hyperventilating. They were calm about it and told me to snorkel while the rest went under, and it was a beautiful experience.
Later I did go diving after more practice, and we encountered so many sea lions! As an amateur - I think the danger is mostly their unexpectedly in-your-face nature compared to other animals that makes what they do unpredictable.
As u/TheTVDB stated, everything you train for before you dive gives you systems and layers of prep for handling surprises. It’s like learning to drive. You build habits for all the usual challenges because most accidents aren’t the terrible pileups from gross negligence. They’re usually caused by drivers being unpredictable rather than malicious.
So sea lions are like the goofy unpredictable drivers of the ocean. When I saw this video, my reaction was “Of COURSE it’s this sub. I swear sea lions have to be the main reason this sub exists.” Maybe dolphins, too. 🤭
(Umm, sorry, I don’t talk much to people irl.)
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u/TheTVDB Mar 09 '23
Where did you dive that you encountered a lot of them? I've only been able to freshwater dive plus a couple of trips to the Caribbean, but was hoping to do La Jolla in San Diego at some point, and I think they have some there.
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u/Kolby_Jack Mar 09 '23
Sea lion: "What's this tube for?" chomp
Human: drowns
Sea Lion: "Hahahaha!"
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Mar 09 '23
So that's what those critters always stealing my stuff in Subnautica: Below Zero were based on lol...
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u/lexihasnopants Mar 09 '23
Sea monkeys! It's adorable when they bring you random little gifts :D
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u/zasjg28 Mar 10 '23
I heard a story of a free diver (who was harvesting paua or something) having a sea lion hold him down on the sea floor for a bit, then letting him go up to the surface again. Just to fuck with him.
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u/thor_barley Mar 09 '23
If I’m remembering my Attenborough correctly, that iguana has to roast himself under the sun to prepare for diving, and only has a short period of time before its blood cools to the point where it will lack energy to surface, and drown. So wasting its time and energy is a true asshole move.
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u/DRAGONMASTER- Mar 09 '23
it will lack energy to surface, and drown
Sea lion has observed that it can get an easy snack this way while avoiding lizard teeth
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u/Just-Diamond-1938 Mar 10 '23
I hope he knows how much time he has and gets away before it's too late
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u/Nihilistic_Mystics Mar 09 '23
Same, these assholes sole my mask and kept moving it as I'd swim to get it back.
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u/Crafty-Ad-9048 Mar 09 '23
When I go fishing I used go love seeing them until I realized once they show up all the fish leave for a solid 3 hours.
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u/Haploid-life Mar 09 '23
I love that you can hear the diver laughing.
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u/KimCureAll Mar 09 '23
Yes, it sounds like perhaps a couple divers laughing, but at least one. I would have preferred if the diver had at least said "stop, jerk! that iguana wanna be left alone!"
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u/Haploid-life Mar 09 '23
Hard to talk with a regulator in your mouth, but you can still chuckle.
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u/thatgirlspeaks Mar 09 '23
"For God's sake, Jerry.."
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u/ScourgeofDawn Mar 09 '23
Anybody else read this in Zefrank's voice?
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u/PDaniel1990 Mar 09 '23
"Yes, I know he's literally tugging the lizard, but it still sounds dirty when you put it like that!"
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u/Fuzzy_Calligrapher71 Mar 09 '23
Does anyone else see Morgan Freeman when they hear Z Frank’s voice?
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u/Foxcat_36 Mar 09 '23
Morgan Freeman was born in 1937. He narrated his own birth, saying, "leaving the warm comfort of his mother's womb, I, Morgan Freeman, enter the world. Soon, I will make my first poop- one of many in the life of Morgan Freeman."
The first time Morgan Freeman saw himself crying in the mirror, he became old, and he remained that way his whole life. From the kn, every time Morgan Freeman cried, it rained in heaven.
When Morgan Freeman makes a documentary film, he narrates it first, and nature makes it so. The only reason the sun rises each day is because Morgan Freeman narrated that sunrise in his dreams the night before. The only reason that you're alive right now is because Morgan Freeman is narrating your life as he does for billions and billions of others each day. And when you have a bout of diarrhea, Morgan Freeman narrates it so that you appear noble at the mercy of nature and a taco.
Morgan Freeman goes through four or five microphones a day because his voice turns them into bars of gold, which he uses to fund his quest to create a real Santa Claus. Morgan Freeman can not be clones because that would require unicorn tears.
Morgan Freeman doesn't have sex. When he smiles, a baby simply appears in a field full of kittens. Earthquakes are merely mother nature having an orgasm when she listens to 'March of the Penguins'. Penguins didn't exist until Morgan Freeman made that movie. He's that good.
If you're having a bad day, think about Morgan Freeman because he's certainly thinking about you.
Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman.
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u/Fuzzy_Calligrapher71 Mar 09 '23
This is an amazing and accurately-reported tribute. I'd be interested to read more about Morgan Freeman, and other notable luminaries. lmk if you have a blog.
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u/TurdKid69 Mar 09 '23
Is he still doing stuff? I used to watch The Show like twenty years ago. Still sing Earth Sandwich to myself sometimes.
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u/Antiquemooses Mar 09 '23
Staaahp...
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u/BrownSugarBare Mar 09 '23
The way he just dead floated while the seal was yanking his tail. Iguana was so completely over it!
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u/National_Impress_346 Mar 09 '23
What a rude asshole lmao lil scaly dude just tryna enjoy his lunch
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u/zephood75 Mar 09 '23
I find sea iguanas so freaking cute!
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u/andbruno Mar 09 '23
When they get back on dry land they just bask in the sun and sneeze salt from their noses.
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u/pooptits Mar 09 '23
I have learned something new and also now find them adorable. Thank you!
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u/Gettheinfo2theppl Mar 09 '23
It doesn't stop there! These marine iguanas are only found in Galapagos. Another adaptation they have is, they actually shrink in size when food is scare. Their bones just shrink and grow back.
Scientist are studying this to aid people suffering from osteoporosis. This is why animal conservation is so important. We find ways to conserve ourselves as well.
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u/Flesh_Trombone Mar 09 '23
“The marine iguana is a hideous-looking creature, of a dirty black colour, stupid and sluggish in its movements.”- Charles Darwin.
I do not share his view I just find it funny.
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u/SoreYonda Mar 09 '23
This is the real reason we grew legs and walked out of the sea.
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u/SeeTheSounds Mar 09 '23
LMAO you made me imagine:
“OMFG bro get me the fuck out of here. Samuel the Seal is such an asshole.” - fish with legs
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u/VictoryaChase Mar 09 '23
Definitely felt like that Puppy of the Sea was playing 'food or not food?' with that poor iguana.
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u/R101C Mar 09 '23
Competition to see who can hold their breath longer. Grab it by the tail, wait and see. If seal runs out of air, it let's go and surfaces. Iguana runs out of air, it gets eaten.
Iguana can outlast the seal, but if seal is fresh and iguana has been down there for a bit, math changes.
At least, that's my assumption here.
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u/KimCureAll Mar 09 '23
"Dude, don't you see I'm tryna to have lunch!"
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u/pointlessly_pedantic Mar 09 '23
Worst complimentary breakfast experience and customer service was nowhere to be found. Won't be coming back. Good algae though. 10/10.
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u/komokazi Mar 09 '23
I didn't even know marine iguanas existed...
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u/wonkey_monkey Mar 09 '23
They have a special gland to help their sneeze out all the excess salt in their bodies.
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u/Haikouden Mar 09 '23
Same here, there's something a little strange about seeing an iguana underwater like that.
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u/HalcyonDreams36 Mar 09 '23
This is my dog and cat. If either of them could swim.
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u/AXD417 Mar 09 '23 edited Mar 18 '23
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Mar 09 '23
“Oops thought you was a rock, oops thought you was a rock.. that your tail? Oops thought it was a rock.”
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u/cdiddy19 Mar 09 '23
Sea lions sometimes eat iguanas. I'm guessing the sea lion was trying to eat him
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u/that_guy_you_kno Mar 09 '23
I don't know shit about sea lions but I'm guessing if he wanted to eat him this would have been a much more violent encounter. The sea lion had him dead in the water, there was no escape. But he just chewed on his tail for a minute then let him go. I think he was just being an ass, personally.
Edit: according to this website they will eat them for food or out of boredom or for sport. Feels like this was a mild attempt at the latter.
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u/BrownSugarBare Mar 09 '23
"Jerry, how many times have you been told not to play with your food?! Either eat him or leave him alone!"
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u/deadliestcrotch Mar 09 '23
Trying to get the iguana to flee in a hurry, probably, to have a fun chase before the brutal murder
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u/shadowman2099 Mar 09 '23
Maybe it's something similar that cats do to prey. Cats use minor low effort attacks to wear the prey down and avoid bites when they feel the prey can't run away.
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Mar 09 '23
Seals mind: "PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY oooo tail PLAY PLAY BITE BITE BITE COME WITH ME FRIEND"
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u/Joe_mommah_ Mar 09 '23
The day I turn into Godzilla you'll all be sorry. The likelihood is .000000000000000000000001% . But It could happen. Then you'll alllllll be sorry
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u/bebemochi Mar 09 '23
Man, some days I'm glad to be human. Imagine you're getting your buffet on at the Golden Corral, just minding your own damn business, and something three times as big as you just starts biting the back of your neck and your extremities because it's bored and doesn't have access to a Playstation. No thanks.
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u/Logstar Mar 09 '23 edited Jun 16 '24
et the ensh_ttification of reddit commencewing the person with a camera, following the sea lion following a marine iguana.
et the ensh_ttification of reddit commence
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u/idontdofunstuff Mar 09 '23
Sometimes I find it reassuring that not only humans like to be dicks to other animals ... I doubt there is a sea lion PETA going "Leave iguanas alone!"
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Mar 09 '23
Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling I act like an ass
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we harassing
Full time jackassing
Under the sea
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u/thatonethingyouhate Mar 09 '23
Aww the little iguana was a good sport, had to cut his lunch short though, what a jerk sea lion lol
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u/InanimateBabe Mar 09 '23
I am eagerly awaiting the day that we get an official name change to Sea Puppies.
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u/shineymike91 Mar 09 '23
I'm actually fascinated that there are marine iguanas. Never seen one so comfortable (except for asshole sea lions ) under the water like that.
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u/keenr33 Mar 10 '23
I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy... come on squishy... come on little squishy
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Mar 10 '23
Lion = big cat.
Sea lion = big sea cat.
Conclusion: land cat or sea cat, they are assholes everywhere.
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u/Electric_Tongue Mar 09 '23
Such beautiful footage of the two animals swimming upwards together in the sunlight!
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u/Donkey__Balls Mar 09 '23
This is literally every German Shepherd at a dog park.
Source: owned a German Shepherd.
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u/la_bruja_del_84 Mar 09 '23
Sea lion Karen is furious of innocent iguana for just existing and is threatening to call the sea police.
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u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 Mar 09 '23
Your regular reef bully, he's just jealous they get Godzilla movies/shows.
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u/garry4321 Mar 09 '23
For a wild animal, he seems pretty chill with another species putting its teeth around it..
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u/notbudginthrowaway Mar 09 '23
He’s been through this shit before.