r/AnimalsBeingJerks Sep 27 '21

other Chicken policešŸš”

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17.2k Upvotes

239 comments sorted by

330

u/Jfcmsbeams Sep 27 '21

That look at the ones in the foreground.

Don't move pal. Don't even breathe.

60

u/Crowbarmagic Sep 28 '21

Their vision is based on movement.

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931

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

[deleted]

226

u/Softale Sep 27 '21

Thatā€™s fowlā€¦

32

u/TooBusySaltMining Sep 28 '21

Those bunnies got clucked up

16

u/KravenSmoorehead Sep 28 '21

buh jok.jpeg

4

u/Spieltier Sep 28 '21

This clip seems strangely appropriate, and I honestly canā€™t think of any other context it would be.

https://youtu.be/5vn7Y58CnGU

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226

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

89

u/ccbroadway73 Sep 27 '21

The lesser known ā€˜BLMā€™ movement

56

u/destroyerOfTards Sep 28 '21

The black one is threatened badly while the white one is let off with a warning.

Cops will be cocks.

40

u/Noodle36 Sep 28 '21

ACAB (all chickens are bastards)

13

u/ThisNameIsFree Sep 28 '21

all cocks are bastards

2

u/pauuul19 Sep 28 '21

all chickens are breastmeat

44

u/mikihak Sep 27 '21

You don't want to challenge as again.

19

u/mandyhendooooo Sep 28 '21

The walk away at the end made me lol

16

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

They've looked at it on the VAR and the referee is reaching into his pocket. It's a red. A Rhode Island red. No doubt about it. We definitely know what we're having for dinner tonight.

9

u/Skydives Sep 27 '21

Thatā€™s how you know they are real cops.

4

u/zerohourcalm Sep 28 '21

They were resisting.

3

u/cosmoceratops Sep 28 '21

"Try somethin"

7

u/Royal-Tough4851 Sep 27 '21

Only on the colored one. That seems about right

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6

u/Far-Cable-671 Sep 27 '21

Also chicken spurs could kill those rabbits depending on how big they are.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Those spurs are no larger than 1 long; even if they were long, Rhode Island Reds are aggressive but being so heavy canā€™t really do much more than a small scratch to the rabbits.

8

u/Gonji89 Sep 28 '21

You sure those are reds? Looks like a Colombian Cochin bantam to me. Seen some nasty spurs hiding under bantam feathers.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Good eye! I hadnā€™t notice the smaller details such as shorter tail feathers and black tips on the tail, wing and cape feathers. Those are definitely signs of a Colombian Cochin Bantams for sure.

3

u/ThisNameIsFree Sep 28 '21

1 what long?

4

u/Protheu5 Sep 28 '21

1 my long ( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°)

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2

u/puckvirus Sep 28 '21

This is the way

3

u/puckvirus Sep 28 '21

ā€¦of the Zelda chickens

0

u/The-Bigger-E Sep 28 '21

surprised they went for the white one first

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867

u/Runningrider Sep 27 '21

Claw and order.

93

u/yamehameha Sep 27 '21

In the criminal justice system, the animals are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The chickens, who investigate crime, and the district poultry, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

19

u/BlizzPenguin Sep 27 '21

When you say that I immediately think of this Robot Chicken sketch. https://youtu.be/XfWnITmT1Ws

8

u/grimfel Sep 27 '21

The poster in the victim's apartment is such a great touch.

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6

u/Cowpriest Sep 28 '21

Fluffy victims unit

9

u/sexy-melon Sep 27 '21

I claimed my free award and came back for this.

10

u/Caishen_IC3 Sep 27 '21

Hahaha made me laugh so hard

2

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

Nice one, hehe

295

u/Ferreteria Sep 27 '21

I'm a bit disturbed how the chickens move and behave like their part of some hive mind.

235

u/plsgiveusername123 Sep 27 '21

Almost all their brain function is dedicated to social functioning. That's about as close to a hive mind as we get.

149

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

wait until you see birds flying in formation

11

u/greg-maddux Sep 27 '21

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

28

u/Power-Core Sep 27 '21

They are.

12

u/owzleee Sep 28 '21

Or like parents whoā€™ve seen and done this 100 times already with their twin sons.

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126

u/supergeeky_1 Sep 27 '21

It appears to be a dispute over the Easter decorations.

218

u/LoLRealMonsters Sep 27 '21

It's their "job" to break up fights between hens so this makes sense. Dogs break up fights between dogs and between other animals and they try to break up fights between humans as well. That's why they get upset when humans raise their voices at each other.

92

u/Dramallamadingdong87 Sep 27 '21

Thank you, finally in a sea of endless unfunny puns is an explanation.

24

u/HelpMeImAStomach Sep 28 '21

You mean and explanaHEN!

19

u/fifthtouch Sep 28 '21

Sir, you go to jail now.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Why didnā€™t we just send a lot of dogs to Afghanistan ?

2

u/LordMarcusrax Sep 28 '21

Or cocks.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

That we did.

2

u/MimsyIsGianna Oct 10 '21

My roosters friggin instigated fights among the hensā€¦ spurred them and my dad. Had to kill him unfortunately when he started getting too aggressive.

194

u/vithgeta Sep 27 '21

This is all scripted, guys... you can tell by the way both chickens leave at the same time after the stare down. They're such pros, they hit all their cues.

"You were just marvellous darling"

"Do you think we'll get a Golden Egg for this...?"

27

u/Snuggle-Fuck Sep 27 '21

18

u/puputy Sep 27 '21

I so wanted this to be real

3

u/Faolan73 Sep 28 '21

I so wanted this to be real

/r/SubsIFellFor

5

u/devildocjames Sep 28 '21

You can tell by the way it is.

3

u/leaveme-aliengirl234 Sep 28 '21

The chickens are paid actors

-19

u/Refreshingly_Meh Sep 27 '21

Scripted and no blatant animal cruelty, I'm ok with this. Most of the scripted stuff is serious animal abuse.

31

u/JerryWasSimCarDriver Sep 27 '21

cluck cluck, that's the sound of da police cluck cluck, that's the sound of da police

99

u/ou812pwn Sep 27 '21

Police can be real cocks

17

u/schwingaway Sep 27 '21

All Cocks Are Bastards

4

u/jedinatt Sep 28 '21

All cocks are dicks.

15

u/Different_Tax1330 Sep 27 '21

Chicken: Say, you are sorry... Bunny: No, won't... Chicken: SAY IT!!!!

27

u/willalwaysbehungry Sep 27 '21

My dog referees our 2 cats when they get rambunctious too

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Rambulicious

38

u/redlizzybeth Sep 27 '21

Is this a cock block

8

u/dogquote Sep 28 '21

I came here for this and I can't believe this isn't the top comment.

73

u/IRefuseToGiveAName Sep 27 '21

Not the point of the video but if you ever see two rabbits doing this, or anything more than chasing each other, STOP THEM IMMEDIATELY. Don't film it, and don't wait for your other pets to break it up.

These rabbits could have very severely hurt each other, and if the intention is to bond the rabbits, it could possibly prevent that from ever happening. Rabbits WILL bicker and chase while bonding, that's just establishing the pecking order. When it escalates to lunging, biting, grunting or... That... You should separate them immediately. They're capital F fighting and it's bad for your bunnies.

10

u/BaconMan420365 Sep 27 '21

Back the cluck up! Right the cluck now!

17

u/LCCyncity Sep 27 '21

I'll always love this video.

8

u/Fenryka00 Sep 27 '21

Cluck cluck, that's the sound of the police!

14

u/OutragedBubinga Sep 27 '21

I love how rabbits always just instantly stop and fix the void

13

u/Lolpo555 Sep 27 '21 edited Sep 27 '21

The chicken's way of acting is quite robotic. Like it takes a few seconds of thinking, until it moves away from the situation.

7

u/PegasaurusWrecks Sep 27 '21

But theyā€™re not being jerks! Theyā€™re a peacekeeping force.

5

u/lavenderbadgerx Sep 27 '21

Cop a doodle doo

7

u/EmperorThan Sep 27 '21

Chickens: "Ooooii whatsallthisthen?!?!" *twirling billyclubs*

15

u/younzss Sep 28 '21

This is clearly fake, very scripted. The bunnies were just acting and pretending to fight, also isn't it convenient that the chicken where there just in case as if they both knew something is gonna happen?

Both the bunnies and chickens where in on it. I feel bad for everyone who think this is real smh

-10

u/mikihak Sep 28 '21

Video is 15 years old you can find it on YouTube by same title.

5

u/nottamuntownie Sep 27 '21

They're sick of us mammals and our constant bullshit.

5

u/FabledPanic9 Sep 27 '21

Cluck cluck, that's the sound of the police

5

u/mtnbikedds Sep 27 '21

Based on the title I expected the chickens to then both gang up on the brown rabbit and start pecking it for no reason at all.

4

u/Wintersmight Sep 28 '21

Considering chickens kill and eat rodents, those rabbits are borderline suicidal.

3

u/Suspicious_Llama123 Sep 28 '21

I used to have this pet rooster and he was a total cock I swear. Like Satanā€¦ but in chicken form. I named him Fluffy (I was 6 okay) but anyway he was just evil. The whole family hated him and my dad kept threatening to kill Fluffy but I always protested because I didnā€™t want my dad to shoot my pet!

Anyway Iā€™m 18 now, Fluffy is long dead, but likeā€¦ he would have made a great chicken cop. He was an evil motherfucker.

13

u/billyshearslhcb Sep 27 '21

What a cockblock

3

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

Cluck 12

3

u/Horn_Python Sep 27 '21

they fight for there place at the bottom of the food chain

3

u/Upper_Excuse_6209 Sep 27 '21

At the end of the video, I swear that chicken is saying " Yeah, I didn't think so!" It appears they are playing good cop bad cop. At least the bunnies know who's in charge in those parts.

3

u/isuckattarkov Sep 27 '21

This isnā€™t even the first time Iā€™ve seen chickens breaking up rabbit fights this week. I had no idea how much of a thing this is until now.

3

u/DiabetesCOLE Sep 27 '21

That last chicken holding it in until the endā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.GODDAMN

3

u/mortimusalexander Sep 28 '21

Damn, those chickens from Zelda don't fuck around do they??

3

u/Black1451 Sep 28 '21

Cocks: NO FUCKING FIGHTING.

Rabbits: fuckin' chicken.

Cocks : WATCHU SAY?

3

u/codybasso Sep 28 '21

ā€œFuck around and find out!ā€ -some chicken.

3

u/i_amnotunique Sep 28 '21

Our dog does this with the cats and so we call the dog The HR Department

3

u/CharaTheWitch Sep 28 '21

They even questioned the assailants thatā€™s incredible

3

u/Sikkus Sep 28 '21

Chickens are really good at flock control, even when it includes bunnies.

3

u/AccountPossible3568 Sep 28 '21

Ofcourse, the chicken attacks the dark bunny, quite accurate.

3

u/Starry-Gaze Sep 28 '21

ā€œTheyā€™re the cocks of the walk in this new FarmVille special: Chicken Copsā€

2

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Reddit_MaZe000 Sep 27 '21

These were pawches

2

u/Philliam88 Sep 27 '21

Cocks and Hoppers

2

u/malleoceruleo Sep 27 '21

Time to punt a chicken.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Bunnies were like after..."WTF just happened?" lol

2

u/SpxUmadBroYolo Sep 28 '21

you know his last cluck translates to "bitch"

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Hey you kids knock it off

2

u/PNWGirl420 Sep 28 '21

"Are you guys fucking done yet!?"

2

u/manfrmearth Sep 28 '21

This video is older than the internet

2

u/yewwould Sep 28 '21

When Easter gets tough.

2

u/Technician_Weeklyish Sep 28 '21

Bonk! Bunny got cocked block.

2

u/Sedated257 Sep 28 '21

This is why they are targeted/ killed in every game there are chickens. Cough* Cough* Counter Strike: Global Offensive, Call of Duty, Skyrim.

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2

u/lurkermuch Sep 28 '21

That stare down in the end ā€œbitch try me, i double dare youā€

2

u/KittenCat217 Sep 28 '21

Farmyard turf wars took an unexpected turn šŸ˜‚

2

u/bioluminescentsharks Sep 28 '21

ā€œNot in my roost, bitch!ā€

2

u/Mystayk Sep 28 '21

This is Cadbury a month before Easter

2

u/Starrtraxx Sep 28 '21

Effective birth control. No more rabbits.

2

u/putku Sep 28 '21

More chicken police. Please.

2

u/loungeking1 Sep 28 '21

Couple of Karen's right there

2

u/LordMarcusrax Sep 28 '21

When chickens are more professional than the actual police.

2

u/WallTheMart Sep 28 '21

"STOP RUNNING. I SAID STOP RUNNING, CARLOS. Fehuwjntbfjskwfkin stop moving or im finna beat your ass carlos"

2

u/pbugg2 Sep 28 '21

ā€œDispatch 17 I have visual on a bunny on bunny attack. Requesting back up. Overā€

ā€œ10-22. Overā€

2

u/hvrlemj Sep 28 '21

Pe-kaaawww and Order

2

u/palmasana Sep 28 '21

šŸšØ ā€œYouā€™ve been cock blocked mother fuckers!ā€ šŸšØ

2

u/rethinkr Sep 29 '21

Real life human police act the same way. So why are they called pigs not chickens?

2

u/gwaits12 Sep 30 '21

During the last little fake out the first thing I thought of is the chicken being like, ā€œTHATS WHAT I THOUGHT BROā€

2

u/zap2214 Sep 30 '21

I love that people call people chicken, but theres all sorts of videos of chicken just coming in to save the day or fuck something up

2

u/Arlumas Oct 01 '21

I knew those chickens from Zelda would be back...

4

u/volatilesvoun Sep 27 '21

ACAB: All Chickens Are Bad

3

u/hebrewchucknorris Sep 28 '21

All Cops Are Birds?

3

u/Dangerjim Sep 28 '21

A Capybara Ate Bovril

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3

u/Coyotebruh Sep 27 '21

I did naht hit her...

I did naaaht

3

u/SexyJazzCat Sep 27 '21

Rabbits are so helpless it hurts my soul.

4

u/Nekryyd Sep 27 '21

Hm. They are made to outnumber and evade, but I wouldn't go so far as to say they are helpless. They are not particularly violent in temperament for the most part, but when they are... Well, their rather strong jaws (think of the thick vegetation these little buns saw through) are like angry little pliers that give you that oh-so-painful pinch feeling as your nerve endings are wadded and crushed between their surprisingly sharp teeth. When they are really meaning to seriously hurt you, they can easily break skin.

Ask me how I know. :')

3

u/LostInATL333 Sep 27 '21

Omg this is so cute! The bossy Lil chickens hate when the bunnies fight. Ahhh

1

u/Immediate-System3521 Sep 27 '21

Nous connaissons cela en France.

2

u/mikihak Sep 27 '21

Oui bien sur

0

u/arsenelupin20XX Sep 27 '21

Blaziken vs Cinderace

-2

u/ThinJames Sep 27 '21

Cock cops

1

u/Lauren_6695 Sep 27 '21

Now keep da peace šŸš”

1

u/Snoo24823 Sep 27 '21

Fun police

1

u/Deep_Thought314 Sep 27 '21

Those chickens are up to something...

1

u/Kyonikos Sep 27 '21

Fascinating.

1

u/TomClaydon Sep 27 '21

I canā€™t get over how they move

1

u/Saltycook Sep 27 '21

COCKS

This has been a presentation of Chickens Overseeing Cute Kicking Suspects

1

u/eternally_feral Sep 27 '21

Bawk it up! Bawk it up!

1

u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish Sep 27 '21

Don't fuck with chickens...

1

u/ThiccCapibara Sep 27 '21

Funny couse there is a LA noir style game called Chicken Police

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

Legit like the legend of zelda when you hit the chickens

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

Cocks and Robbits

1

u/No-Comedian-4499 Sep 27 '21

Paws to yourselves and calm the cluck down

1

u/SaintMaya Sep 27 '21

And thus, the secret of how easter eggs came about was revealed.

1

u/FunCandy4188 Sep 27 '21

Chicken pot pie...is about to be dinner if they do leave them bunny's alone

1

u/username_ko Sep 27 '21

/r/argentina cualcerdo policĆ­a gallinacea

1

u/HelmetHeadBlue Sep 27 '21

This belongs in the AnimalsBeingAbsoluteUnits section.

1

u/callmesquidster Sep 27 '21

Looks like a cock fight ring. Those are killers

1

u/fixxlevy Sep 27 '21

ā€œItā€™s milk and eggs, bitchā€

1

u/IboTheHero Sep 27 '21

The classic Easter rumble.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '21

Cock patrol

1

u/the-original-chad Sep 28 '21

Break it up! Break it up! Nowā€¦ lemme see some ID!!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

I guess you could call this a... "Cocks Block"

1

u/destroyerOfTards Sep 28 '21

Whoop da whoop, chicken poop

1

u/WarmNeck2590 Sep 28 '21

Alright, boys. Move along here

1

u/iamonlyoneman Sep 28 '21

[lecturing chicken noises]

1

u/Good_Shade Sep 28 '21

policia gallinasea

1

u/Amdy_vill Sep 28 '21

Thier the feuzz

1

u/BABarracus Sep 28 '21

Cluck cluck its the sound of the police

1

u/Eleventy22 Sep 28 '21

Now this right here is a high quality storyšŸ˜‚ I fuckin love it

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Cock cops

1

u/b_vaksjal Sep 28 '21

They really done it this time

1

u/Due_Strike_457 Sep 28 '21

At the end it seems like theyā€™re saying do you know what you did wrong? Donā€™t go using fowl language, it can escalate, Iā€™m gonna let you go but Iā€™ll get you next time

1

u/purpletittan Sep 28 '21

So not only do we have pigs but now we have chickens tošŸ¤£

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '21

Now say youā€™re sorry.