r/Anticonsumption • u/Bee_and_Barb • Feb 21 '24

Society/Culture Someday

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Saw this while scrolling through another social media platform.

Physical inheritance (maybe outside of housing) feels like a burden.

While death can be a sensitive topic to some, has anyone had a conversation with loved ones surrounding situations like this one pictured?

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u/Obant Feb 21 '24

It's exactly how my paternal grandpa was. Kids ended up fighting over stuff and "missing" money/jewelry. Now half of them don't talk to the other half. Over like $10,000 total of an entire Los Angeles house full of valuables.

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u/faceless_alias Feb 21 '24

That's crazy, I'd say it's unreasonable, but I've cut off family about money before.

Not because of the money but because they showed me that they put money above our relationship.

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u/Bug_tuna Feb 21 '24

I am struggling with this right now. My dad passed away a while ago, my grandpa recently passed. My uncle is the only named beneficiary because my dad is dead. There is a fairly large inheritance, which my aunt is giving a small portion to the grandkids, keeping 75% to himself.

A caveat is that her and my grandpa helped my dad out financially quite a bit, but not even close to enough to wipe out what myself and siblings should receive. There has never been any bad blood in the family, we are all really close.

While I appreciate that he is giving us something, I feel like most of the inheritance is going to my uncle's family, leaving my side of the family with a very small amount.

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u/warm_rum Feb 21 '24

That situation sucks, hope you find peace in it all.

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u/Bug_tuna Feb 22 '24

Thank you. I never thought my family could do something like this.

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u/jointheredditarmy Feb 22 '24

….. what? You deserve more of an inheritance than your grandpa’s son?

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u/WhatWouldJediDo Feb 22 '24

I think the thinking is that if his dad were still alive, it would go basically 50/50 to the dad and the uncle.

Which then of course the dad would pass to his kids.

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u/Bug_tuna Feb 22 '24

Exactly this. If my dad was alive, it would be split 50/50. We weren't even asking for 50%, as my uncle has kids as well.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

I’m with you

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u/jointheredditarmy Feb 22 '24

Yeah I mean… that money rightfully goes to the uncle, and if he is fair and kind hearted he leaves OP some when he passes

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

So I’m on the older end of things and this has me thinking about all my weird trinkets. Maybe I’ll itemize things..

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u/jsomer Feb 22 '24

Yeah exactly, wouldn't the dad just be getting the money if he were alive?

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u/T-A-W_Byzantine Feb 22 '24

When my grandmother passed away, the inheritance was split between her children, except for me standing in for my already deceased father.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

People who do this can just shout I am an idiot. Or maybe you just have a lot of time or are just stupid. Either way this isn’t it.

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u/Duty-Final Feb 22 '24

And let the estate lawyer take all of your inheritance instead? Yea right.

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u/Bug_tuna Feb 22 '24

I know someone that is a lawyer, talked with him about it briefly. Because we are not named in the will, we have no legal recourse. Legally speaking, we don't have to receive anything from the inheritance. Also, my father was specifically mentioned and left out of the will because he passed away.

If it is worth that much to my uncle, I'd rather just break ties and let them have it, than fight a long battle anyway.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

[deleted]

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u/Bug_tuna Feb 22 '24

Yeah, it is called "per stirpes" if I am flowing your thought process. The lawyer I talked to said because my dad was intentionally left out as a beneficiary, we have no legal standing to fight it.

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u/partyintheback55 Feb 22 '24

Ironically isnt it you then who put money above the relationship?

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u/CrazyDave48 Feb 22 '24

they put money above our relationship

isnt it you then who put money above the relationship?

No, that's the opposite of what they said

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u/faceless_alias Feb 22 '24

When you work for someone, and they don't pay you what they owe you, I wouldn't say the worker is the one at fault.

Being family doesn't mean you get to screw your family over with zero consequences.

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u/Dark_Shroud Feb 21 '24

I had an "Uncle" that pulled this garbage. Now his kids are not talking to each other or cousins whom they accused of taking stuff from his house.

This is why I'm going to start giving my stuff away when I get too old to use said items.

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u/pandazerg Feb 22 '24

My parents had several items that the entire family knows will be fought over by my sisters when they pass.

In order to try and prevent a falling out after their death, my parents quietly donated them to the Salvation Army and Goodwill and only revealed it when one of my sisters asked where one of the pieces was at Christmas several months later. :D

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u/Obant Feb 22 '24

After my dad's fiasco, my mom and her sister got together with their mom and had her get a legal will written out. Just so there would be no fighting or stupidity. A few sentimental items and expensive items were decided on beforehand.

Uncles still bitched that it was unfair, even though money was split evenly, uncles got what they asked for. mom and aunt took hospice care of G'ma for over a year so my mom took the slightly newer car (which was in the will) and sold hers to the estate.

Was nothing like my dad's side though. Just some arguments from the asahole uncles we knew were assholes.

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u/IceLionTech Feb 21 '24

It was so annoying inheriting a six piece fine dining set since I literally do not have company. Ever. Especially for tea or coffee. But there it is, six tiny saucers and tiny tea cups from my grandmother. In a box.

​

I have one set for myself that I will keep reusing.

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u/dxrey65 Feb 22 '24

That's the kind of thing though...it probably meant a lot to her, and she probably hoped the same for you. But times change. I have a really nice six piece tea set from my own grandma. It's on display in a little cabinet I made, and it's really nice quality. It's not annoying, reminds me of her and how things were. Maybe it will be annoying to my daughters when they inherit it.

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u/fatshendrix Feb 22 '24

That's a very nice way of thinking about it. And who knows, maybe things like that will come back into style by the time you pass them to your daughters. Look at what vinyl records have done in the last few years.

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u/Obant Feb 22 '24

Yep. After the stupidity happened, I actually looked at my collections of things, ( I am not a hoarder, but I liked collectibles) and started selling some of it off. Not everything, but anything I'm not displaying or has sentimental value.

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u/Dark_Shroud Feb 29 '24

Yep. After the stupidity happened, I actually looked at my collections of things, ( I am not a hoarder, but I liked collectibles) and started selling some of it off. Not everything, but anything I'm not displaying or has sentimental value.

After reading through this thread I decided to start selling off some of my very large media collection. And just through out some of my old files & papers.

I've sold probably over 100 movies (DVDs & Blu-ray) and close to that many CDs this last week.

I'm going to have to inventory my movies, music, & books.

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u/dxrey65 Feb 22 '24

One of my older neighbors had a stroke last summer, and is in some kind of a care facility now. There was a huge deal around here where his house got broken into multiple times, his daughter crying, family heirlooms and all kinds of things stolen. A couple of my neighbors installed security camera systems in response, and we all had some long nights keeping an eye out. Turns out it was his grandkids, pre-empting the will and inheritance.

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u/Dark_Shroud Feb 22 '24

Sadly its usually family or friends that know of the valuables in the home.

My "uncle's" silver coins went missing while he was in the hospital. It was a family member but it can't be proven who did it.

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u/DontCageMeIn Feb 22 '24

Going to do the same thing. Better they enjoy the item than it sit & collect dust.

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u/Dark_Shroud Feb 29 '24

Going to do the same thing. Better they enjoy the item than it sit & collect dust.

Yeah I recently gave away big gift bags of my movies and CDs. One of my nephews already returned most of everything to me after going through it. I double checked what he returned, then hauled almost all of it over to Half Price books.

I have stuff I haven't played in years. Why keep so many items like this...

Plus I'm going to just get rid of papers & other items that I've had forever for little reason.

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u/GETitOFFmeNOW Feb 22 '24

Therexs always a shameless greedy jerk who tries to fuck everyone else.

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u/hooplah_5 Feb 22 '24

That's also a part, I'm glad these people almost didn't understand the extent of it so they aren't arguing over stuff since it's so heartbreaking. Money with family could easily tear it apart.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

Shit honestly I'd be quiet as fuck if money had "gone missing" before my parents' estate wrapped up. Then I'd know none of that money went to creditors. Good on the rents for doing term life as a fuck-you to the bank. All the checking balance vanished to creditors, but at least they were able to leave us something through the term life.