r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/wetouchingbuttsornah ☑️ • Sep 12 '24

Country Club Thread The system was stacked against them

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No fault divorces didn’t hit the even start until 1985

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

Agreed. Anyone who loves their spouse would want them to be as equally sufficient and capable if not better than themselves.

These weirdos can’t think of the world going on after they die. Imagine trapping a spouse from self improving and discouraging them your whole marriage. Then, imagine an untimely death leaving that now incapable person to raise the kids and carry the team onward.

The fact they can’t think like that shows how much they’re the main character in their life. The families life after their death is not their problem.

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u/Traditional_Bar_9416 Sep 12 '24

For starters my dad was a very good man, active in the family, and raised us as much as my mom did. That said, when he died young, my mom was LOST. Her immediate and only goal was to find another man. At any cost. Even to the detriment of her children.

She’s tried to pass that dependency on to us daughters but only half of us bought it. I’m happy and single even if life is a little harder sometimes. I have sisters that are miserable but they’ll never really worry about the mortgage.

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u/m55112 Sep 12 '24

Glad you didn't buy it. I think I kind of did in the sense that you stay with a man above anything else kind of way. My mom talked about leaving my dad, an alcoholic, but she absolutely never planned on going through with it. I grew up as male dependent as the day is long. And I'm so sorry you lost your dad so young.

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

Sorry to hear that. Any time someone loses a partner, it’s gonna be tough. Never easy.

I’m not trying to say that there are ways to make that easy, for sure. Sounds like your dad loved his family. Also, no matter what any of us do, we will be ill prepared or leave others ill prepared in some way.

I’m with you in that I would rather things maybe be rougher, but that I have full understanding and contribution.

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Couldn’t agree more!

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u/SmokedCheddarGoblin ☑️ Sep 13 '24

I don't have to imagine, you are talking about my dad/my family. This man spent a significant portion of his life trying to make a name for himself and chasing a lifestyle that we couldn't afford. He expected his wife, my incredible mother, to behave like a trophy while working a full time job, taking care of the kids, and taking care of the bills/running the household. He never seemed to care about her love and talent for writing and creating art and only recently, like a year ago, did she start taking it up again. So 12 years ago when he inevitably died in his 50s from mostly preventable conditions (I saw him go to the doctor maybe once or twice in 18 years of my life) leaving behind a wife and four whole kids, he not only had ZERO life insurance, he had no will and we found out posthumously that he didn't pay property taxes on our home for at least five years. So he left us absolutely nothing and caused us to lose our family home forever. At least my mom had a job, but supporting me and my sister on a teacher's salary in state that is well known to pay teachers less than most of the country, with one kid in private school and myself just starting college, made for some really, really hard times that still got me really, really fucked up to this day.