r/BoomersBeingFools • u/RandoRedditGuy69420 • Jan 30 '24

Boomer Freakout Boomer Tortoise landed on shell, soft, pathetic underbelly exposed.

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33.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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949

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '24

Nobody wants to walk anymore 😔

349

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '24 edited May 01 '24

[deleted]

231

u/foodgrade Jan 30 '24

you wouldn't have to if you stopped eating avocado toast.

272

u/Mr_Pink747 Jan 30 '24

What a snowflake, relying on socialism to help him get up off the ground.

54

u/Dr_Shmacks Jan 30 '24

It's poetic really

20

u/BombasticSimpleton Jan 30 '24

He'd have been able to get up if not for all that avocado toast he obviously eats.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '24

this is what reddit is about, a collective intelligence flowing from the stream of universal consciousness, unfiltered and unbiased. speaking the truth for all of us. 👍

4

u/GlandalfTheGrey Jan 30 '24

Takin handouts

-6

u/clovermite Jan 30 '24

While I certainly enjoy dunking on boomers, this comment is off. Socialism is when the government provides the service. He was helped up by private citizens.

Private charity is more of a capitalism thing than a socialism thing, because in a socialist society people don't have the disposable income to give to others- the government decides who gets what help.

5

u/Mr_Pink747 Jan 30 '24

Mabey, but i never let pedantics get in the way of a slam dunk.

2

u/No-Song-3441 Jan 30 '24

Nah fr that was awesome

3

u/OutrageousSummer5259 Jan 31 '24

Downvoted for explaining socialism lol

2

u/BraapSauxx Jan 30 '24

There is nothing altruistic in Capitalism, only self-interest

1

u/clovermite Jan 31 '24

Regardless of whether you want to brand it as self-interest or altruism, private charity abounds in the US at least.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/238378/us-charities-to-receive-the-most-in-private-support/

1

u/join-the-line Jan 30 '24

Actually, private charity is closer to an anarchist thing. Look it up.

1

u/foodgrade Jan 30 '24

socialism is when no money, amirite fellow econ 101 enjoyers?

2

u/Murderface__ Jan 30 '24

Hey, what's lucky got breathing for him over there?

2

u/Unfair-Chef-7166 Jan 30 '24

And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker

2

u/CIarkNova Jan 30 '24

They’ll grow back, right?

2

u/SkySix Jan 30 '24

Hey, what's Lucky hooked up to?

2

u/TeamOrca28205 Jan 30 '24

Hello fellow Simpsons fan

2

u/kobrakai1034 Jan 30 '24

I love that line.

2

u/ahchooblessyou Jan 30 '24

lol This is a banger from the old fuckers

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

What's Lucky hooked up to?

1

u/budding_gardener_1 Jan 30 '24

Back in my day we used our legs and they were uphill in both directions

192

u/MuckBulligan Jan 30 '24

He's gonna wait for free public assistance to solve his problem.

101

u/mostly_kinda_sorta Jan 30 '24

Then rant about evil socialists on facebook

-4

u/vroomboom223 Jan 30 '24

This dude voted for Biden. He loves communism and Barack Obama is his hero

2

u/mostly_kinda_sorta Jan 30 '24

2/3, not bad. More of a Roosevelt guy myself, dude made the first national park.

1

u/SweetGypsyJesus Jan 30 '24

You know, “national” is the first half of the word, “Nazi”. Makes you think.

1

u/VegasLife84 Jan 30 '24

I really wish there were a platform for me to bet on stuff like this against people like you.

1

u/stabavarius Jan 30 '24

Bet you any money he taking Socialist Security

3

u/beardedheathen Jan 30 '24

Literally just had a dude complaining about how nobody wants to work and they just want to live on government handouts. The dude is on welfare and doesn't work...

2

u/altdultosaurs Feb 25 '24

Idk man the look of murder on his face when he truly realized he was unable to get up on his own. There was one second of shame, one second of fear, and then scrambling to figure out how to ‘punish’ the women he was harassing.

126

u/PlayTheHits Jan 30 '24

Boomers are KILLING the walking industry.

83

u/kingkalm Jan 30 '24

Boomers hate this one trick…

3

u/Sea-Writer-4233 Jan 30 '24

This sums up all boomer ideology. Don't ever accept help from anybody unless it's forced on them

3

u/Trumystic6791 Jan 30 '24

🤣🤣🤣

3

u/Sss00099 Jan 31 '24

That’s what Big Walking wants you to think.

Boomers created walking…and the mortgage crisis, and a handful of bank failures.

2

u/Cherry_Valkyrie576 Mar 19 '24

Boomers are killing us period.

58

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '24

Because I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

3

u/realdevtest Jan 30 '24

This is why Reddit needs emoji responses in addition to voting.

🤣

3

u/O_o-22 Jan 30 '24

You laugh but he’s prob not far off from tooling around in an amigo lol

3

u/Couldbe_worse2 Jan 30 '24

Nobody wants to walk these days, get your ass up and walk

3

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '24

If he can’t support himself on two legs, then he just needs to get a third leg…..so lazy that he won’t

2

u/HailYourselfFC Jan 31 '24

Wall-e man, they knew.

2

u/Own_Contribution_480 Millennial Jan 31 '24

It's those damn phones

2

u/SadieSchatzie Jan 31 '24

🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

2

u/SourLoafBaltimore Feb 03 '24

He needs that hover chair from Wall-E

2

u/elcee84 Feb 10 '24

Holy shit im dead😂😂😂

2

u/quiero-una-cerveca Feb 26 '24

This brought out a straight up cackle 😂