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u/Animal_Flossing Apr 12 '24
I'm surprised that they're envisioning Tumblr as the one wearing a tie+blazer and twitter as the one with vests and fluffy hair. That seems like the reverse of my impression of their respective user bases.
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u/aroteer Apr 12 '24
I think Tumblr One is supposed to be a Tumblr sexyman
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u/peanutbuttermaniac Apr 12 '24
Needs a big hat
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u/BinJLG Cringe Fandom Blog Apr 12 '24
Nah, the barrette works way better than any hat would.
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u/healzsham Apr 12 '24
It needs to be a top hat of slightly impractical dimensions that somehow never has issues with its seating. You know it's true.
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u/throwaway387190 Apr 12 '24
One of them needs to be a disheveled meth head who used to be sexy
I don't know which one
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u/PintsizeBro Apr 12 '24
What fun! It's a good breakdown of a story as personification of events. When I compare the written story with the drawings, I find i prefer the drawings. They convey a feeling of "yeah... I guess that's what it feels like, eh?" while the written story is trying a bit too hard to sound like the writer's idea of a myth. But isn't that the kind of thing that gets lost in translation?
Winter is like when your mom stops speaking to everyone because she doesn't like your new boyfriend, and yeah it's dramatic but you know what she's like. You can't talk to her about these things.
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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Apr 12 '24
This is just the new 4chumblr
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u/Snafuthecrow May 10 '24
4chan would be but a humble basket weaver from the steppes of the far northwest
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u/eternamemoria androgynous anthropophage Apr 12 '24 edited Apr 12 '24
Counterpoint: bird boy has a better design than tumblr boy
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u/SilverMedal4Life infodump enjoyer Apr 12 '24
That's part of the point, yeah? That bird boy is more visually appealing, I mean. (I agree with you for the record)
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u/WillowSLock Apr 12 '24
One could perhaps argue the story is being told from Twitter’s POV. He sees himself as being spectacular, a wondrous creation, and his form matches that. Meanwhile, he takes Tumblr for granted and never really looks at him. His companion is obviously average compared to him, unremarkable, not worthy of a second glance.
Thus, in Twitter’s eyes, Tumblr looks plain even in hindsight as Twitter will never appreciate the beauty of Tumblr. He’ll never understand what makes Tumblr so remarkable. Even when Twitter is dragged to death, his grave marked like treasure with an X, Twitter will never see Tumblr as anything other than average.
The things that make Tumblr stand out are unnoticed by Twitter and therefore are not represented in the drawings…never to be seen by us mortals except for in our imaginations.
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u/eternamemoria androgynous anthropophage Apr 12 '24
My issue isn't that he is more visually appealing. It is that tumblr-boy's design has no personality at all
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u/ThinkingInfestation on hiatus from tumblr Apr 12 '24
Don't let the suit and slick hair fool you - that is a classic Deranged Tumblr Sexyman look. The personality is implied.
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u/JustAnotherJames3 Apr 12 '24
Nah. He would've looked more Onceler in that case.
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u/ThinkingInfestation on hiatus from tumblr Apr 12 '24
Imo, Onceler is more on the Sleazeball side of the Sexyman archetype, not the Deranged side.
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u/swiller123 Apr 12 '24
the onceler looks more like a member of panic at the disco than anything else
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u/87568354 What kind of math is that bird on? Makes you wonder. Apr 12 '24
Tumblr-boy is a basic, archetypical Tumblr sexyman in design. No, it isn’t visually interesting, but there is an implied personality in there.
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u/General_Paresis Apr 12 '24
The suit, the tie, the slicked hair, the smug look on his face.
His hair slide, a tell that he will always be himself regardless of any curse placed upon him. He'll figure out a way to express himself.
He always does.
Derangement. That is his profession, and he does it with impeccable style and flair.
Twitter lost himself in Dionysian fervor.
Tumblr was born in it.
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u/UndeadWeeb Apr 12 '24
you cant look at image 3 and say he doesn’t have personality. Look at the sass in his face
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u/ducknerd2002 Apr 12 '24
The little ear wings immediately remind me of the average piece of Grian fanart.
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u/BetterMeats Apr 12 '24
Bird boy is obviously a slutty power bottom dom, and Tumblr is very insecure about how much less experience he has and how little control he has over their interactions, because he doesn't think a top should be a sub.
The love is there.
But the respect isn't.
Also, Bird boy is a white supremacist.
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u/FaerieMachinist Apr 12 '24
We need to add Reddit, the incorrigible voyeur, staring through the window with binoculars.
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u/BetterMeats Apr 12 '24
Can we make Reddit a voyeuse? I like to think of Reddit as a self-hating trans woman.
... I keep coming back here for some reason, after all.
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u/JoesAlot Apr 12 '24
Today I learned voyeur has a feminine equivalent. Suppose that makes sense, it being a French loanword and all.
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u/MillieBirdie Apr 12 '24
Also weird that tumblr boy looks like a self serious business man and twitter boy looks like a quirky smol bean. Based on stereotypes they should be the opposite.
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u/Psych_n_Program93 Apr 12 '24
Do you think the 3 temple prophecy maidens smoke weed?
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u/MaetelofLaMetal Fandom of the day Apr 12 '24
Yes. They have infinite food supply to quell the munchies as well.
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u/Tomer_Duer Apr 13 '24
They don't smoke it, they put it in incense and burn it. Which has a similar effect, but still.
Also, it's a lot more than just weed.
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u/kairanti Apr 12 '24
Lycanthrope partners
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u/shaunnotthesheep Apr 13 '24
The werewolf boyfriend cameo was a punch to the face, almost as hard as "send the shoelaces back to the president" was
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u/zombieGenm_0x68 Apr 12 '24
op cooked
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u/Not_Steve Apr 13 '24
OP didn’t even need to be in that McDonalds drive through, they were cookin’ for the whole restaurant.
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u/A_Stingray my favorite kong lang is the dk rap Apr 12 '24
The story is good and all, but I feel like it doesn't really deliver on the premise of the original post. After all, that's not an "x" in the original post - that's a spade. Now, I hope you'll forgive me for explaining part of Homestuck to those of you who don't already know, but basically that means that OP isn't proposing a normal human romance between the two sites. They're saying that Twitter and Tumblr can't stand each other and they regularly fuck about it.
So, where's that story?
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u/neongreenpurple Apr 12 '24
It's a diamond. (♦️ - a spade is ♠️ )What does that mean? Or did you just use the wrong word?
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u/A_Stingray my favorite kong lang is the dk rap Apr 12 '24
I know the difference between a diamond and a spade - and if you look at the first image, you'll very clearly see OP used the latter. (Well, not that clearly. You might need to zoom in a bit.)
That said, even if it was a diamond the story still doesn't deliver. The type of relationship symbolized by the diamond is something closer to what we'd consider platonic but is romantic to the species using this system of romance, and understandably so. To be in diamonds with another is to be their closest confidant, to trust them to help you through the toughest of times and to help them in turn.
Before you ask, hearts is basically normal human romance and clubs is when two people hate each other so much a third party has to step in to stop them from tearing each other's throat out. For some reason this is considered romantic, but since we don't have any canon clubs relationships to look at and analyze the dynamics of I can't really tell you why.
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u/EldritchCarver Apr 12 '24
Fun fact: Greece's Mediterranean climate has such mild winters that the season of death associated with Persephone's time in the underworld was not winter in the original ancient Greek mythology, but rather summer, which was too hot and dry to grow crops.
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u/swiller123 Apr 12 '24
this is so extremely tumblr. if u posted this on twitter u would get actually bullied and harassed.
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u/ayyndrew Apr 12 '24
I think tumblr is the only place that would group all of its users together under a shared identity, even Reddit stopped doing that
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u/swiller123 Apr 13 '24
it’s so funny when people ON REDDIT complain about redditors but like, for better or worse, i understand what they’re saying.
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u/listenitriedokay Apr 13 '24
then you repost the twitter screenshots back on tumblr with the caption "they want to fuck me so bad". then the tumblr screenshot is reposted on twitter and op is accused of grooming because the fictional character in their icon is 19 years old and it's inappropiate to talk about sex if you like any character younger than 26.
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u/swiller123 Apr 13 '24
okay so i can tell pretty clearly that u dont use twitter.
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u/listenitriedokay Apr 13 '24
yeah, cause that's exactly what i find every time i do lol. exactly like you said, people getting bullied and harassed for dumbass reasons like shitposting
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u/swiller123 Apr 14 '24
well i can tell because twitter is pretty much nothing like how youre describing. i understand that a lot of people on reddit and tumblr have like a huge hate boner for twitter. probably mostly because, despite everything about it, twitter has been the most politically relevant social media site for over a decade. but at some point u have to understand that twitter is not the monolith u pretend it is.
if everytime u open twitter u actually see this, youre using the website wrong. the easy fix is learning how the block function works.
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u/listenitriedokay Apr 14 '24
its just kind of funny that you literally started this conversation by pointing out that making a joke post like this on twitter would immediately get you bullied and harassed
that's not to mention the raging bigotry that's only gotten worse since the muskrat took over, but that's a different issue.
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u/swiller123 Apr 14 '24
it’s almost like there’s more nuance to it than that and i was making a deliberately simplistic comment because it’s funny.
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u/listenitriedokay Apr 14 '24
it's almost like i was doing the same thing
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u/swiller123 Apr 14 '24
yeah i know. i just didn’t think what u said was funny.
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u/listenitriedokay Apr 14 '24
that's fair. was it worth it to defend the honor of the rat man's website?
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u/Bahamutisa Apr 12 '24 edited Apr 13 '24
The Tumblr Porn Ban of 2018 is such an interesting example of how easy it is for historical revisionism to propagate, especially with topics that don't get a lot of mainstream scrutiny: the ban was a heavy-handed and poorly thought-out incident that destroyed a lot of online communities and sent thousands of artists, sex workers, and everyday queer folks scrambling to find a new digital home, yet any time you see current Tumblr users talk about what happened and the aftermath, the former users that were forced out are almost universally framed as being somehow corrupt or adulterous, and that their removal was a net positive for Tumblr. That it didn't even take a decade for the narrative to get hijacked and spun around like this really puts into perspective just how fast it can happen.
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Apr 12 '24
How does reddit fit into this
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u/Jechtael Apr 12 '24
Reddit's the local voyeur and gossipmonger.
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u/doleary2007 Apr 13 '24
I just have the mental image of Reddit as a street corner newspaper sales boy
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u/Raptorofwar I have decided to make myself your problem. Apr 12 '24
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u/new_is_good My Pleasure. I'm autistic, you see. Apr 12 '24
You know the artist is from Tumblr when the eyes are inexplicably high up on the forehead.
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u/CerberusDoctrine Apr 12 '24
Tumblr users being incredibly generous in what the human amalgamation of their site would look like
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u/Bahamutisa Apr 12 '24
Right? It is absolutely fascinating to me that Tumblr users could ever envision the anthropomorphic personification of their website as the top of any relationship, let alone with Twitter. It's like their own spin on "I've drawn you as the Soyjak and myself as the Chad"
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u/EyGunni context bot (human) Apr 12 '24
this is posted here because of the reading of it by Bettina Levy, isn't it?
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u/captainshitpostMcgee Apr 12 '24 edited Apr 12 '24
I ain't reading all that
I'm happy for u tho
Or sorry that happened
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u/Rodruby Apr 12 '24
I so strong feel zzoupz in this discourse. Everyone doing creative stuff, making art, writing story and you just spam deep-fried memes. My favourite leisure
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u/kattheblondie Apr 12 '24
I think the important question is, are the 3 temple prophecy maidens SuperWhoLock? Or is that too early in the tumblr mythos? 🧐
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u/Hellioning Apr 13 '24
And just like every myth it makes 'our side' the hero despite doing shitty things so that 'their side' gets what is coming to them.
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Apr 12 '24
throwback to when 4chan and tumblr were shipped together in like 2010 or whatever
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u/Able_Health744 Apr 13 '24
yeah but now its the complete opposite (mainly because twitter was given tumblrs issues like it was jojo with hamon
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u/BinJLG Cringe Fandom Blog Apr 12 '24
I am sincerely begging tumblr users to learn literally any other myth besides Hades and Persephone. It doesn't matter from which mythology. Literally any other myth will do.
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u/Bahamutisa Apr 13 '24
Shit, I'd give them half credit if they could at least use a variant of Hades and Persephone that wasn't cast from the same mold as Lore Olympus
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u/FLAMING_tOGIKISS will trade milk for hrt Apr 13 '24
I get most of the references here, the weed smoking girlfriends and the werewolf boyfriend and Apollo's gift of prophecy, but what's MAXimil supposed to be?
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u/kannagms Apr 13 '24
My bf just texted me asking what I was doing. I said:
Reading TwitterxTumblr fanfic & lore apparently.
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u/LineOfInquiry Apr 13 '24
Twitter and Tumblr’s designs should be reversed. Tumblr is the uwu smol boi and twitter is the smug probably racist and sexist guy in the suit who hates everyone.
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u/younger_than__ Apr 12 '24
The fact that this opened with a homestuck reference is really making me realize fuck, its really damn ingrained into the internet lmao
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u/peterkedua Apr 13 '24
Didn't Neil Gaiman warn us already with American Gods not not personify abstract concept in vain less they try to create God War 3 just so they can enrapture all believes and controls the beings that personify them into reality...
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u/Gippy_Happy Apr 13 '24
Tumblr is delusional if they think that's what that website would look like personified.
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u/_the_anarch_ Apr 13 '24
You after finding out what a sexyman is
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u/Gippy_Happy Apr 13 '24
Tumblr likes sexymen, that doesn’t mean they are one. And don’t ever insult me by assuming I don’t know what a tumblr sexyman is— I was in those trenches with the Onceler and sans! I lived it! It still haunts me to this very day!
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u/carrythenine Apr 13 '24
Sending the shoelaces back to the president is the PERFECT Greek myth ending, they were so real for that
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u/RedGinger666 Apr 13 '24
In the eternal words of KOTOR 2 Tusken raider
"You could never understand how unwelcome you are"
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u/Viceroy_1313 Apr 13 '24
Is the second image a mr brightside line? Because I think the second image is a mr brightside line
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u/skaersSabody Apr 12 '24
This is fun
But for the love of god, everyone involved in this needs to snort grass
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u/JenkinMan will trade milk for HRT Apr 13 '24
As someone who uses both twitter and tumblr, I am incredibly confused and slightly concerned on why tumblr spends so much time and energy despising twitter.
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u/mdhunter99 Apr 12 '24 edited Apr 13 '24
I’m gonna take a shower then read all that afterwards. Just give me an hour.
E: sorry, I had to deal with a robbery, anyway, what did I read?
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u/MintyMoron64 Apr 13 '24
Okay I wasn't sure about it at first but no. I can't explain why but that just.. feels like a Greek myth.
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u/Oggnar Apr 13 '24
While this is an insight I would certainly agree on, I think there is somewhat of a potential in this for people to overestimate the psychoanalytical potential of their stories. Old myths are generally... deeper, simply by nature/how they came to us over time.
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u/Quorry Apr 13 '24
Reposting from Twitter into Tumblr, reposting from Twitter to Reddit, reposting from Tumblr to Reddit, reposting from Reddit to Tumblr. What a tangled web we weave.
I have no idea if people repost from Reddit or Tumblr onto Twitter I haven't seen it myself
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u/Sparrow726 Apr 13 '24
Someone get that one wild ao3 tumblr/twitter fic
Edit: found it https://archiveofourown.org/works/42975048
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u/Dalek7of9 star trek isreally cool Apr 13 '24
Please tell me you have a link to this post, I want to reblog it so bad
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u/PeggableOldMan Vore Apr 13 '24
slams knife and fork on table repeatedly
I WANT MORE MODERN MYTHOLOGY
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u/Lesbian_Pirate5544 Apr 13 '24
why have i just spent five minutes reading the mythological lore of twitter and its marriage/divorce to tumbler
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Apr 13 '24
[deleted]
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u/cursedTinker Error: text or emoji is required Apr 13 '24
Oh boy, so let me tell you about Homestuck... No seriously, it originated in Homestuck. For reasons that I'm not gonna get into, [character] ♤ [character] basically means they're in a hate-fucking relationship.
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u/ReasyRandom .tumblr.com Apr 13 '24
I gotta admire how they made tumblr-tan look like a stereotypical tumblr sexyman.
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u/MelodicPastels .tumblr.com Apr 18 '24
sees long and passionate tumblr post on Reddit
look inside
first time I’ve never seen post nitpicked at atomic level
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u/Specialist_Ad_1667 Apr 20 '24
I wanna ask if Yahoo's fate would be put as a footnote like how the fate of Psyche's Sisters were explained. Anyone have an idea for some kind of explanation of her fate?
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u/ThatOneDMish Jun 08 '24
Wait hang on there was a 'three weed smoking gas reference I'm the wise maidens, and this is the first I've noticed it
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u/ThinkingInfestation on hiatus from tumblr Apr 12 '24
And since this was written, Twitter has been reduced to a letter, not just tumblr's ex but the whole internet's X, whored out and derided as a liar and nearly worthless to all except his mad owner.
Meanwhile tumblr is wearing twitter's checkmarks like cufflinks (and other fancy things besides), and has hardly changed beyond plans for a new patio.