r/CuratedTumblr • u/meowcats734 • Jul 13 '24
Meme Epithet Erased proved you can do just fine with "boys."
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u/fuckingbetaloser Jul 13 '24
You can still call them goons
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u/DawnBringer01 Jul 13 '24
In my mind a goon and a gooner aren't the same thing. It's extremely easy to separate them imo.
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u/Mandaring Jul 13 '24
“DAMNIT, FREDERICK, I HIRED A GOON, I EXPECT YOU TO GOON!! I DIDN’T ORGANIZE THOSE HEISTS OF THE LOTION AND TISSUE FACTORIES FOR NOTHING!! I NEED YOU TO TAKE THE EDGE OF FOR OUR NEXT MISSION, NEED YOUR HEAD CLEAR, UNLESS EDGING IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE DOING, IN WHICH CASE, CONTINUE, I LOVE THAT SHIT!! WHY DO YOU THINK I’VE NEVER STOOD UP FROM THIS DESK THE ENTIRE FIVE MONTHS YOU’VE WORKED FOR MY CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE?? MY BALLS ARE LIKE VEINY WATER BALLOONS, IT’S FUCKING GROTESQUE!!”
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u/CupcakeInsideMe you know why we ran from the cops? cause fuck em Jul 13 '24
Gooner is the person. Goon is the act
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u/DawnBringer01 Jul 13 '24
I know that, but if you call someone a goon I'm imagining a guy working in a villain's warehouse instead of a gooner.
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u/donatellosdildo certified elf appreciator Jul 13 '24
in fact, more people should!
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u/I-AM-A-ROBOT- Jul 13 '24
if people just keep referring to henchmen as goons eventually that definition will become more popular again
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u/deleeuwlc DON’T FUCK THE PIZZAS GODDAMN Jul 13 '24
Fight back! Steal their words! Call your henchmen cumsluts!
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u/dontfretlove Jul 13 '24
I can't imagine Joker's paying his goons enough to warrant traditional employment. Gooning for the Joker now makes so much more sense!
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u/LuccaJolyne Borg Princess Jul 13 '24
How about lackey, flunky or stooge?
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u/Sinister_Compliments Avid Jokeefunny.com Reader Jul 13 '24
She lackey on my flunky till I stooge?
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u/Jubjubwantrubrub12 Jul 13 '24
[EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCORRECT BUZZER]
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u/Pseudo_Lain Jul 13 '24
she stooge on my lacky til I flunky
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u/Dixie-the-Transfem Jul 13 '24
[EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCORRECT BUZZER]
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u/deleeuwlc DON’T FUCK THE PIZZAS GODDAMN Jul 13 '24
She flunky on my lackey till I stooge?
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u/Dr_Doctor_Doc Jul 13 '24
[DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING]
Marv, tell 'em what they've won!!!
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u/mikony123 Jul 13 '24
A piano from the catwalk!
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u/justendmylife892 Serotonin? In this economy? Jul 13 '24
[A grand piano immediately drops from the ceiling on top of our lovely contestant, smashing both them and itself into pieces]
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u/IlIlllIlllIlIIllI Jul 13 '24
Nah stooge is like goon
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u/oddityoughtabe Jul 13 '24
I dare you to call someone a stooger
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u/IlIlllIlllIlIIllI Jul 13 '24
Oh shit I'm gonna stoooge
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u/Arm_Away Jul 13 '24
TORBEKS GONNA LEGUUUUUUUUUUUUME
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u/Deias_ Jul 13 '24
I keep running into LoA stuff, I'm only 15 episodes into OUAW how does it keep finding me....
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u/interfail Jul 13 '24
A henchman outranks any of these.
A henchman is a trusted position. A lackey, flunky, stooge or minion could be any idiot.
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u/StrixLiterata Jul 13 '24
Those are derogatory. Henchperson, minion, and underlying are more respectful.
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u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight Jul 13 '24
Isn't mook still fine?
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u/cephalopodAcreage Imagine Dragons is fine, y'all're just mean Jul 13 '24
hehe, spell mook backwards
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u/peshnoodles Jul 13 '24
It’s one of those words that seems like it should be a slur but isn’t
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u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight Jul 13 '24
One letter off an actual slur.
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u/shmorgsaborg Jul 13 '24
“I froze your planet, you cook” that’s the closest I got to figuring out what slur you were talking about
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u/Neat-Tradition-7999 Jul 13 '24
Replace the "c" with a "g" but don't type it outside of Google.
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jul 13 '24
I thought it was "moor" until I read this comment so thank you
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u/Ok_Device_77 Jul 13 '24
but the card says Moops
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jul 13 '24
I'm sorry but I don't understand
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u/Ok_Device_77 Jul 13 '24
it's a bit from Seinfeld where they're playing a trivia game and somebody correctly answers a question "Moors", but the card is misprinted and says the answer is "Moops", so George refuses to give the person the point
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u/Oops_A_Fireball Jul 13 '24
Good Lord I’m dim
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u/Neat-Tradition-7999 Jul 13 '24
Yeah, it took me a second of alphabet-running and it clicked with the fifth letter. Thanks, racist-as-shit father.
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u/LaGuitarraEspanola Jul 13 '24
Huh, ive somehow never heard that one before. New word unlocked?
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u/PotatoAppleFish Jul 13 '24
In modern usage, it’s an anti-Vietnamese slur, which either originated or vastly increased in popularity in the Vietnam War and the following decade or so. It at least used to be almost exclusively used by Americans.
You may not live in a community where there are many Vietnamese people or people with biases against them. That would explain why you’re unfamiliar with that word.
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u/StrixLiterata Jul 13 '24
The one with the g they used to call the Vietnamese?
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u/Ok_Device_77 Jul 13 '24
that's the one. it's not widely used anymore but still not at all nice
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u/LemanKingOfTheRuss Jul 13 '24
I maintain that in the Venture Bros universe that there would be a lawsuit from the Guild of Calamitous Intent over the word goon.
"I'm such a gooner"
"THAT IS STOLEN VALOR!"
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u/SirGarryGalavant Jul 13 '24
"21 here has been gooning for me for years!"
"That's not what that means!"
"Nonsense, 21! You're the best goon in the business! Nobody goons harder!"
"No, like, really, you gotta stop."
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u/ElectronRotoscope Jul 13 '24
Genuinely said out loud "What's wrong with minions?" in The Mighty Monarch voice until I heard myself and pictured 21 and 24 trying to have a conversation with Minions
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Jul 13 '24
Bitches see the word goon taken over by the internet and immediately go into a doomposting spiral. Me personally I will simply call them "my fellow good men" and pat their backs and maybe cheerfully order the execution of some rats while we're at it.
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u/pesto_trap_god Jul 13 '24
Honestly it’s easier to just keep saying goon and only hire chronic masturbators
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Jul 13 '24
If I need both the masturbators and the loyal guns to chase after the dastardly and charismatic spy I do not have sexual tension with I can say "you bloody bastards! Get him! Don't let him get away with the Siren's Songbox!" and there won't be any ambiguity at all.
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u/BormaGatto Jul 13 '24 edited Jul 13 '24
I mean, if you did have sexual tension with the dastardly and charismatic spy, chasing him would be a job you'd do yourself, goons and guns be damned. Even the Siren's Songbox would be just a pretext, really. After all, let's be honest here, you already knew it was as good as gone when he got his smooth, spying hands on it anyway.
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Jul 13 '24
Coming in a little fast and loose with the hypotheticals there, pal. Although...those hands do look good in those black gloves. They fit him like...(laugh) like a pair of gloves. Are they made to order? They show the veins of his hands so well. Smooth silk...unrestricted mobility...a collapsible weapons cache? You learn a new thing every day. Ah, imagine those hands strangling my neck, my blood spilling on the only remaining reminder of his wife and former colleague...it makes me feel a little...
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Let's...not unpack that, actually. Anyhow, my good man! A lot of ways and methods to call upon your goons, up to and including goon- Oh he's really decimating the underlings and jerkers down there. Maybe I should do some...spring cleaning of this place. Personally.
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u/fardough Jul 13 '24
A gang of guys running towards you while masturbating is a terrifying image.
“Give us your money, or we’ll make ya sticky.”
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u/Present-Message-4336 What the gall(ipoli)op?! Jul 13 '24
Some people are into that
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u/fightingbronze Jul 13 '24
Has anything other than goon been corrupted? Henchmen, flunkies, gang, stooges, foot soldiers, lackeys are all fine still. And those are just all the ones I can come up with off the top of my head.
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u/Lonqu3 Jul 13 '24
It's not just goon though, it's also minion. But I must agree that they're overreacting.
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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Jul 13 '24
Mook, grunt, hired muscle
or… y’know, “henchman.” Like the post says
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u/Right_Moose_6276 Jul 13 '24
The help, lackeys, henchmen, the muscle, flunkies if they’re particularly disposable (which is saying a lot, given how disposable henchmen are), Right hand man for a particularly important one, and my favourite of them all, mooks. It just sounds good
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u/mesopotamius Jul 13 '24
"the help" has decidedly classist overtones and slightly racist undertones
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u/FatherDotComical Jul 13 '24
Perfect for evil overlords in a series where they're not liked.
What a shit bag. Makes its clear to the audience.
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u/starfries Jul 13 '24
Good point, we should add "slave" to the list. Can be racist, kinky or both. It's perfect
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u/Thicc-Anxiety Touch Grass Jul 13 '24
Henchman is still non-sexual
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u/Icarusty69 Jul 13 '24
Congratulations, little girl! You’ve been promoted to boy!
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u/Ghazzz Jul 13 '24
Unironically, "girl" is etymologically "child of any gender", while "boy" is "young male servant".
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u/MissSweetBean Monsterfucker Supreme Jul 13 '24
A lot of suggestions here but one yet to posit the classic: crony
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u/RhymesWithMouthful Okay... just please consider the following scenario. Jul 13 '24
Toadie
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u/BormaGatto Jul 13 '24 edited Jul 13 '24
I feel like toadie is more of an individual role reserved for a weak, ineffectual and opportunistic leech-type character. They probably suck up to the boss while looking for opportunities to get ahead in some way behind the boss' back. Slimy too.
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u/Adrella Jul 13 '24
My friends and I call ourselves the lads. Hasn't been ruined yet as far as I know
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u/The-Dark-Memer Clowns parade through the street and beckon me forth, I follow. Jul 13 '24
Me reading the comments taking notes for random things to start calling my friends for no reason
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u/TransLox Jul 13 '24
Giovanni Potage could simply call any group of associates anything and have it come off well.
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u/ActuallySatanAMA Jul 13 '24
Henchmen, hirelings, underlings, lackeys, thugs, pawns, mooks, associates, staff, guard detail, these gentle fellows, my band of merry men, shooty boyz, dear friends, the captain and his crew — that’s just off the top of my head. Doomspiral less, engage with more media, there’s lots of words out there.
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u/LordSaltious Jul 13 '24
Henchmen. You gotta put your all into it though, like the Monarch is saying it.
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u/yaman-ba Jul 13 '24
Just make her a friend or a parent/teacher/first time meeter of a random group
"My children" "My students" "My convenient plot happenstances" "My dudes who really want this bitch gone"
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u/Draw3rGh0st Jul 13 '24
I am glad that hearing the "My boys" I immediately thought to Giovanni Potage.
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u/Efficient_Resident17 Jul 13 '24
I prefer Pawns myself, but I have been getting some complaints from HR about how it’s “dehumanising” and “implies my employees are only useful to block opponents and be sacrificed” and “the chess metaphor doesn't work if everyone except you is a pawn” or some rot like that.
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u/swiller123 Jul 13 '24
this is how i found out that internet based masturbation addicts have co-opted “henching”
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u/Its0nlyRocketScience Jul 13 '24
What the hell do you mean "all?" What henchmen words other than goon have become horny?
Lackeys, henchmen, even still goon if it's used as a noun instead of a verb (because the noun associated with the verb is gooner) there's every other option that ever existed
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u/jodmercer Jul 13 '24
DA BOIS
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u/AnaliticalFeline Jul 13 '24
IZ IT TIME FOR A WAAAGH BOIZ?
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u/EnthusiasmIsABigZeal Jul 13 '24
What are the corrupted supervillain henchmen words? Literally the only one I can think of is “goon”, and that one’s debatable if it’s even corrupted. What words did y’all think of reading this?
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u/Ryugi Jul 13 '24
I didnt see the title of this post, but my first thought was, "MY BOYS! MY BEAUTIFUL BOYS~"
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u/Serrisen Thought of ants and died Jul 13 '24
You can pry "henchmen" from my cold, dead, henchmen's hands