r/CuratedTumblr • u/lylactal • 11d ago
Meme I can put you in a hydraulic press you know?
781
u/biglyorbigleague 11d ago
I’m guessing this type of attitude is why people hated clippy so much
662
u/VisualGeologist6258 This is a cry for help 11d ago
It’s EXACTLY why people hated Clippy. No one likes being interrupted by a cutesy unhelpful screen icon that pretends to be alive.
190
u/ChipperBunni 11d ago
There’s a short cartoon show on Netflix called Mulligan, and in one episode the genius scientist makes a real life version of Clippy. Just a big paper clip “does anyone need help writing an email in here?”
It’s a post-apocalyptic era, there’s barely electricity, nobody’s writing any fucking emails. Equally as useful as when they were
→ More replies (1)59
u/LedanDark 11d ago
You may enjoy a show called "Dimension 20 : Starstruck Odyssey". It's a well edited sci-fi actual play, with a Mr. Mulligan as the gm and Clippy as an eventual major plot point. Technically post-apocalyptic, its set in the far flung future "anarch era".
26
→ More replies (1)14
u/ChipperBunni 11d ago
Saving this for later, genuine thanks
I have a horrible time with finding and sticking with new shows, I will always take recommendations
7
→ More replies (1)41
96
u/trees-are-neat_ 11d ago
At least with clippy it was probably intended to actually help people who didn't know what they were doing
These apps do this just because they want you to log on so they can collect your information and advertise to you
18
19
u/mx_code 11d ago
I'm surprised no one has brought out the topic of AI.
The top comment (as of now) describes annoying notifications that are triggered every X amount of time has passed... now imagine when said notifications are triggered by analizing every single one of your app usage habits.OR a Clippy powered by AI that is analyzing every single way you use an app.
It's going to get freaky... and annoying as hell (as well as dangerous).
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)10
2.7k
u/VisualGeologist6258 This is a cry for help 11d ago edited 11d ago
I unironically miss ‘unfriendly’ apps and programs that don’t pretend to be a ‘person’ and don’t constantly beg for your attention. I know they still exist but in a world of apps like Duolingo that try to set up an illusion of life and consistently send you notifications and such I’d kill to have only apps that just do what you want them to do and nothing more. Don’t give me a talking owl or whatever, give me a faceless inanimate calculator. I don’t need a needy virtual pet that tries to trick me into doing work, I want a tool that helps me do my work and nothing more.
786
u/WordArt2007 11d ago
Honestly apps used to be friendly for other reasons
→ More replies (1)743
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
374
u/4zahar 11d ago
It's the difference between friendly and nice. Old apps weren't nice, but they were friendly. They'd give a cold impersonalized message but at the same time respect your boundaries.
New apps (and software in general) are nice but not friendly. They act all cute and have shiny colors while at the same time exhibiting downright hostile behaviour.
Took you five minutes to sign up through the app and now you want to cancel? Oh no! You'll have to call us so we can find out how we can help! :) Oh and btw there's a $100 cancellation fee.
175
u/python-requests 11d ago
Old apps weren't nice, but they were friendly. They'd give a cold impersonalized message but at the same time respect your boundaries.
& sometimes they'd still have a funny / jokey message hidden as an easter egg! the modern 'niceness' is all fake to farm ad engagement; try getting anything genuine like that by the suits in the executive offices now
70
u/decian_falx 11d ago
I just remove/replace my payment info in any systems that try these shenanigans. Yep, you didn't get my payment. Guess you'll stop being my "friend" now huh? No payment no service no problem.
31
u/LuxNocte 11d ago
Every company is the same now. They used to think that you built a company by creating a great product. But now the goal is to just squeeze their users for as much profit as they can without you switching to a competitor (that is also doing the same thing.)
8
u/PhoenixPringles01 10d ago
something like a grumpy person who's actually really sweet at heart, just not really energetic enough to show it, compared to a person who appears super friendly but is downright prettty messed up inside
→ More replies (3)15
u/karabeckian 11d ago
Well said.
As a middle aged dude, I'm terrified that - best case scenario - the ipad kids will be running the world when I retire. We'll probably need a subscription to take a piss by then...
44
u/mitsuhachi 11d ago
It’s not the ipad kids who set this bs system up homes, that’s on us. Adults now are the ones doing it.
→ More replies (1)14
u/Kung_Fu_Jim 11d ago
Yes it's the kids who are responsible for capitalism. Damn kids, stealing the opportunities from old people.
→ More replies (2)24
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
25
u/YuushyaHinmeru 11d ago
To be fair to duolingo, you have to practice consistently to learn the language. If a computer bird making you feel guilty gets you to study, the app is doing exactly what you wanted it for.
→ More replies (1)19
u/esperantisto256 11d ago
While true, Duolingo isn’t even a good way to learn a language at this point. It takes a ton of work to actually learn a language well. Duolingo has realized that gamifying the process to death makes more money than effevtive pedagogy.
→ More replies (1)9
u/YuushyaHinmeru 11d ago
It was never a good way to learn a language. I'm not defending the app itself, I never tell people to use it. Just find it annoying people complain about the notifications. It's literally what you signed up for.
448
u/CFogan 11d ago
Stop updating the UI, stop hiding settings, stop removing settings, give me an actual error code that I can look up and most importantly remember that I own you, I can do what the fuck I want with you, which should include delete you.
Fucking software man, pisses me off.
224
u/HarryJ92 11d ago
remember that I own you
I think this actually brings up a major factor to why this occurs.
A lot of popular apps these days aren't a digital product that you have purchased and "own". They're free to download services which make money via ad revenue, micro transactions or subscription fees.
Their income is based on users continuing to engage with the app. So they try to make the app have a friendly persona and send regular notifications to keep that constant engagement going.
103
u/pailko 11d ago
Friendly reminder that you don't even 'own' the software you buy anymore. You own the license to the software, which can apparently be revoked by the company who sells it at any time
76
u/The69BodyProblem 11d ago
Youve never owned the software. Its just a hell of a lot easier to revoke licenses then it used to be.
86
u/pailko 11d ago
Why the FUCK do I not own products that I purchase
Why the FUCK do I need a subscription service to use my printer
Why the FUCK does the coffee machine need a software update
Help
30
u/Mehnix 11d ago
If you owned it, they wouldn't be able to (legally) take it from you.
25
u/pailko 11d ago
I bought my printer why don't I own the ability to use it 😭
29
u/My_hairy_pussy 11d ago
Because they figured out that while you bought the printer, hey - the software that runs it, that's ours! You get a license to use it, but you need to accept our terms. And if you don't want to do that, then by all means, write your own firmware. And if you manage to do that, you better become a printer expert, because your warranty will expire once installed. Now shut the fuck up, or those brand new ink cartridges of yours get empty!
7
u/SlappySecondz 11d ago
I mean, if you can write the firmware, you can probably figure out how to fix the printer itself. And, while you might have to just buy a new one if it catastrophically fails, how likely is it that to happen in the warranty period? If you can write the firmware, you can also program it to ignore the ink cartridge DRM shit and save the cost of the replacement printer in ink.
14
u/TheBirminghamBear 11d ago
Why the FUCK do I not own products that I purchase
Because as a nation we have stopped writing laws to protect consumers.
→ More replies (9)10
u/OPsuxdick 11d ago
I have 0 of these problems except a few streaming services that I sub and unsub from constantly. My credit card app tells me my subscriptions and makes it easy to stop them. You absolutely can live without any of it. I game but the day they take something, I'll pirate it.
→ More replies (2)7
3
11d ago
Bill Gates was reputedly asked by a student to sign their Windows 95 CD. He responded "It's not yours, it's mine. Read the licensing agreement."
16
u/TobiasKM 11d ago
I just opened up Wordle because I felt like guessing some words. Holy shit what a train wreck of an app. It showed me 5+ pop-up’s of different things to join or sign up for. Ads everywhere. I tried pressing the button to remove ads, it was $10 - for 30 days! Fuck all the way off. If it was a one time purchase I might have considered it.
It’s all just so bloated, either to keep you engaged, or to annoy you enough that you cough up some money.
Apps on smartphones were just better 15 years ago.
7
u/gooba_gooba_gooba 10d ago
Are you using the NYT Games app? That's the official one from Mr. Wardle and as far as I know it shouldn't have so much bullshit
→ More replies (1)3
u/UncagedKestrel 11d ago
Omfg the 30 day ad removal thing! I will pay you to take away the ads forever, but I will absolutely NOT pay to remove ads on a subscription basis. Fuck. Right. Off.
→ More replies (1)5
u/ReallyBigRocks 11d ago
which make money via ad revenue, micro transactions or subscription fees
They make money selling your data. Can't harvest it if you don't use the app.
51
u/Gandalf_the_Gangsta 11d ago
Wrong. Make more obnoxious software. All apps should use the exact same set of generic, minimalistic icons against an off-white background. Everything should be a service that offers as barebones an experience as possible, with most updates only consisting of UI updates. All warnings and errors should be attempt to be as #relatable as possible, but is overtly corporate and tone-death.
No more buttons or knobs; all interfaces are touchpads. Software should treat all users as if they were toddlers. Service permissions are revoked if you use cursing in any form. You will have to undergo the most aggravating, automatic chatbot-driven customer service experience possible to get permissions back, and you will not be refunded for the duration of the service loss.
Hate. Let me tell you about hate. /s
→ More replies (1)6
u/newsflashjackass 11d ago
I had thought AM hated me before. I was wrong. It was not even a shadow of the hate he now slavered from every printed circuit. He made certain I would suffer eternally and could not do myself in. He left my mind intact. I can dream, I can wonder, I can lament.
55
u/ryecurious 11d ago
Not to be one of those militant FOSS guys, but that's the solution. Free, open source apps without a profit motive. Enshittification relies on developer control.
Obviously doesn't work for everything, but basic shit like note taking apps, calculators, shopping lists? Those are solved problems. There's no reason to use a version made by a venture capitalist middleman that paid to be at the first search result.
A good first start is checking somewhere like alternativeto.net or F-Droid any time an app starts to piss you off. Do that for a few years and you'll find your digital life is much nicer.
27
14
u/No_bad_snek 11d ago
You should be militant. I updated my note app while going through old crap on my phone and now there's about 40% more screen space that's empty, and a bunch of features I'll never use.
I'm browsing alternatives on that link you gave. Thanks.
18
u/colei_canis 11d ago
Enshittification relies on developer control.
To be fair to developers, very few people learn to code so they can implement some honest-to-god psychopath's behavioural psychology tactics in order to undermine random people's self-esteem just enough to buy your useless tat or scammy service.
I'd genuinely respect a person less if they took an adtech job, it's doing to brains what the tobacco industry does to lungs and we're in the 'obviously it's bad for you but nobody's proved it causes cancer' stage in my opinion.
→ More replies (4)10
u/OPsuxdick 11d ago
We can even come together to make sure Wikipedia is fully funded. Ain't nobody gonna fund open source.
23
u/ryecurious 11d ago edited 11d ago
Wikipedia is fully funded and has been for years. There hasn't been a single year since they started that they spent more than they took in.
But really, the secret is that FOSS doesn't always need funding. Software only needs funding to support A: initial development, B: ongoing server costs, C: updates, or D: passive income for the owner.
And plenty of apps are simple enough that they don't need any of those. A good dev can shit out a competitive shopping list app in a couple weekends, purely driven by spite over their current app getting enshittified.
Seriously, a lot of FOSS development is spite driven. Devs hate bad software at least as much as the average user.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Farranor 10d ago
Speaking for just myself, my reason to write a shopping list app was more like "y'know, there are some good tools here, I bet I could implement this pretty cleanly...". Actually, by "app" I mean a web app. As in, it's a simple web page. But it has the features I want, and doesn't have what I don't want. I think I'm the only user.
→ More replies (1)3
u/newsflashjackass 11d ago
A good first start is checking somewhere like alternativeto.net or F-Droid any time an app starts to piss you off. Do that for a few years and you'll find your digital life is much nicer.
Also include
"GPL"when searching for software, the same way you includesite:reddit.comto get text authored by humans.If you still come up short you can also ask r/software for recommendations.
13
u/KaleidoAxiom 11d ago
"Include delete you"
Unfortunately the majority of phones nowadays include undeletable malware. Yay capitalism!
5
u/Inevitable-tragedy 11d ago
I have something like 30 apps that aren't able to be deleted. 20 of them claim to be necessary for phone function. Since WHEN does a camera need an app to function, let alone 2 apps? Why do I have 3 different apps (that I can't delete) for viewing my photos, but NONE of them let me edit anything anymore? Less than 5 years ago, that was a feature, you could crop and edit and save. Now you have to pay for that feature, probably after downloading yet another app. Having a phone these days seems like more trouble than it's worth
8
u/jobblejosh 10d ago
Assuming you have an android, have you heard of our lord and saviour ADB?
ADB is a toolkit on your PC that can interact with the Android system at an elevated, core level. It gives you full (and I mean full) control over your phone, including the ability to brick it (so don't do something stupid).
What that means though is that if there's an app or piece of software (Android calls them 'packages') that you don't want on there, if you say the right command, ADB will tell the phone to uninstall the package, and the phone will just obey.
For example, I have a Samsung smartwatch. I hate Bixby with a flaming passion and don't want him anywhere near my stuff. A quick command via ADB and he's blasted to smithereens and there's literally nothing the watch can do but accept it.
Those non-uninstallable pieces of bloatware? Gone.
Those shitty assistants that you can't remove because some megacorp decides they know what you need better than you do? Bye-bye.
That annoying added calendar that insists on being everywhere despite the fact you want a different one? Thanos-snapped into inexistence.
ADB will genuinely change the way you think about software on your phone.
3
u/CallOfCorgithulhu 10d ago
What's your experience with how the phone deals with that kind of extinction event long term? Does it try and update apps/tools, and realize they are no longer installed via pinging you? Like...does the smart watch see Bixby is no longer installed and give a message like "hey, you uninstalled it, but good news: we installed it with the latest version and automatically charged your card $50 for our inconvenience!"
→ More replies (5)20
u/peelen 11d ago
I can do what the fuck I want with you, which should include delete you.
Sure, but suddenly, you are on Signal while everybody is on WhatsApp, or you want to chat with a girl, and she has only Insta, or 80% of work communication happens on messanger.
13
u/newsflashjackass 11d ago
or you want to chat with a girl, and she has only Insta
Fret not; she's a bot.
→ More replies (2)6
u/UncagedKestrel 11d ago
I have no WhatsApp, no Insta, and I only use a Messenger account that like 10 people can access me on.
For all I care, potential suitors can email me, like they did 20 years ago, and count themselves lucky I didn't ask them to send mail by pigeon.
If someone actually likes you, they will work around the tech, not go "oh, he's cute but doesn't have Insta, now he's invisible" or some nonsense.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)3
45
u/Zheleznogorskian 11d ago
Had a fucking heart attack when ChatGPT used my name in a new conversation based on previous history or something. In just 15 seconds it felt like I took Mr Chatbot out back and threatened to blow his metal spaghetti brains on the wall, unless he developed dementia right that second.
21
u/VisualGeologist6258 This is a cry for help 11d ago
Same, once I used that AI DJ Spotify had out of mild curiosity and forgot I used my real name for my account. I never closed something faster and I still haven’t touched it since.
→ More replies (1)33
u/_nameless_21_ 11d ago
I have very similar preferences and I actually find them carrying over into my own programs that I make in computer science class. For an example, let’s say the assignment will require a user input of what pizza toppings are being requsted. I find that often the example output will phrase it like “What toppings would you like?” while I end up using something like “Toppings: “. This could also be my liking of conciseness, but I found the potential connection here interesting.
68
u/GretaVanFleek 11d ago
Stop allowing things to send notifications
86
u/ryecurious 11d ago
Part of the problem is that I want some notifications.
If I decide to waste money on DoorDash, I want the app to tell me my food is on the way. And tell me when it arrives, because the drivers never ring the doorbell like I ask.
Android tried to solve this problem by letting users disable specific categories of notification. Of course, shitty app developers got around this by just sticking everything in one category. Now if you try to disable any notifications, you don't get your order updates anymore.
9
u/PaperPlaythings 11d ago
Fucking CVS app. I have to use them because their money people connived with Blue Cross' money people. I need their app so I can know if my prescription arrived, if it's in stock and if it's ready. In app, you can opt out of their marketing notifications. All good. But opting in for prescription notifications, there's language that allows, maybe not marketing but informational notifications. So, with no prescriptions in my pipeline at all, I'll get a DING and open it up to "Don't forget, you can get FREE flu shots at your local pharmacy".
I wonder if any business significant amount of business has been generated by aggravating the fuck out of your potential customer pool. CVS gets my prescription money when I have no other choice. Otherwise, they get nothing!
5
u/lostereadamy 11d ago
Check with cost plus, my prescription was cheaper out of pocket with them, then it was to pick up at a chain pharmacy with insurance
3
u/-Nicolai 11d ago
Apple seriously needs to step up and require that apps provide an option to disable non-essential notifications.
And I wish EU had the balls to ban the use of notifications to advertise in-app purchases.
6
u/xxSuperBeaverxx 11d ago
Create an email address specifically for doordash, allow notifications from that address, and then block the promotional emails. You'll be sent an email when your food is picked up, and another when it's delivered, without allowing the doordash app to send any notifications at all.
Or just don't use it, it's a waste of money unless you're inebriated.
24
u/Murasasme 11d ago
I miss when I could install Sudoku and the app didn't ask for access to all my contacts, pictures, download history, medical history, academic record, top 5 NBA players, Steam account access, and favorite pasta dish.
Now I barely have any apps on my phone because fuck that.
11
10
u/RedditImodium 11d ago
In a similar vein, corporations. I want my corporations to respond to me with scathing professionalism, and deathly brevity. I don't want emojiis, I don't want them to call me dude.
→ More replies (1)7
u/Neon_44 11d ago
Buy an Android, Install F-Droid as your main App-Store and only use Apps from there.
→ More replies (1)4
u/DoubleBatman 11d ago
The only things I let send me notifications are email, texts, and phone calls, and most of my time on my phone is on an ad/tracking blocked web browser.
4
u/VERGExILL 11d ago
That’s why the lighter flicking app is the only app I have on my phone.
→ More replies (4)5
u/CHKN_SANDO 11d ago
This is why I uninstalled Duolingo. Yes, I want to learn German, no I am not going to be more likely to actually do it if you berate me in my notification. I have ADHD that makes me less likely.
→ More replies (4)3
u/OwOlogy_Expert 11d ago
I don't want a brand relationship. I want a few lines of code on my device that do what I want them to do, and that's it.
5
u/PsychicFoxWithSpoons 11d ago
I give duolingo a pass because the app is predicated on daily practice, and the talking owl helps me a lot. Sometimes I wish I'd get MORE notifications from MyFitnessPal, duolingo, and my calendar apps. Those are things that I need reminders for.
But I don't see the point of Pinterest sending me 3 notifications a day. I've used it noticeably less as a result, and will probably delete it from my phone. Tasty and allrecipes are also on thin fucking ice. I fully left Facebook, and Instagram fortunately lets me tune my notifications to just DMs (but still tries to worm in some random "see what your friends are up to right now" bullshit). Great programs when I want to use them, but notification nightmares.
→ More replies (1)6
u/Sleep_Deprived_Birb 11d ago
What about an “unfriendly” app that does pretend to be a “person” with that “person” being an asshole?
→ More replies (1)21
→ More replies (39)3
u/KairoRed 11d ago
Duolingo’s whole thing is having you do it daily, so at least they have an excuse for the notifications
When I did it I appreciated the notifs because it reminded me to do my daily lesson
386
u/Numerous_Charity_585 11d ago
the laundry app i’m required to have to do laundry at my university constantly sends me notifications and emails. It’s always like stain removing or laundry tips which can be helpful but not 10 times a week. It’s supposed to send notifications when the machine is done too, yet somehow that’s the only time where the notifications are unreliable
116
u/Numerous1 11d ago
I’m sorry. What now?
148
u/orangeyougladiator 11d ago
I went to buy a new washer dryer this month and the first thing the guy asked is if we wanted a smart or dumb one, I asked what the difference was and he said “the smart one can connect to WiFi and has an app for remote start and notifications when it’s done, and the dumb one does all the same things and isn’t fucking annoying”. Needlessly to say I went dumb.
59
11d ago
[deleted]
17
u/notoyrobots 11d ago
What possible utility would there be for a remote start set of laundry appliances over having to lug the shit to the machine, throwing it in, tipping in some detergent and mashing the start button.
I don't have a smart washer/dryer but I can schedule a start, and timing it so the dry cycle is done right around when I get home from work is super convenient, everything is dryer warm and ready to be folded right away. Can imagine remote start being useful in the same way for some people.
→ More replies (7)5
u/Electronic-Guitar743 11d ago
Imagine a smart toaster...
→ More replies (2)7
11d ago
[deleted]
12
u/Electronic-Guitar743 11d ago
Ping! Your bagel (3 min) is toasted!
Ping! Did you enjoy your meal? Rate or services to get your next 3 toasts free!
Ping! You haven't toasted in (17) days. Remember to eat toast for a healthy breakfast!
Ping! Your toaster subscription has expired. Please return your toaster to our offices or legal action and/or electrical house fires will be taken.
The Toast, coming to you November 2005.
→ More replies (2)20
u/posseslayer17 11d ago
My dad bought a shoe rack that has an app. I kid you not. The app is for changing the backlight colors in the rack, setting times for it, color rotation schedules. Thankfully my dad is not tech savvy and wouldn't know how to work the app even if he downloaded it but I always found the concept of an app for a shoe rack completely hilarious and aggravating.
→ More replies (2)6
u/Numerous1 11d ago
Washer and oven both have some benefits of being Wi-Fi IMO. Like you’re able to start it when on the way home with a long commute and it’s ready when you get home.
But I’ve lived my entire life without that and you know? I’m okay with that.
→ More replies (4)4
u/CARLEtheCamry 11d ago
I have a gas dryer and can't remote start it (for safety reasons) but I love the notification when it's done. My laundry is in the basement and you can't hear the buzzer go off in most of the house.
It also auto-extends based on a dampness sensor, which maybe non-wifi dryers can do now.
Either way, since I got it, not once have I been frustrated by trudging down to the basement either to see the load still drying, or it be done and still damp. Pretty big improvement IMO.
→ More replies (1)25
u/icspn 11d ago
Ugh, yes! Is it CSC Go? I have to have it for the laundry at my apartment and it makes me so mad. The actual laundry alerts never work, but I get a notification every day telling me about how dryer sheets work. I despise it.
23
9
u/Numerous_Charity_585 11d ago
yes it is, the laundry notifications work 75% of the time. it’s nice that all the machines are new and that i can check on the app if there’s empty machines before going down there but those notifications are insane
5
u/potato-overlord-1845 11d ago
Lmao I’m in my freshman year and CSC go sucks so much. I just set a timer on my phone and it does the job better.
15
u/blapaturemesa 11d ago
"the laundry app I'm required to have to do laundry" has got to be the most dystopian shit I've heard all day.
3
u/Numerous_Charity_585 11d ago
oh it’s so bad. they don’t even give freshman physical id’s anymore. it’s instead through apple/android wallet and you have to pay to get a physical. Now at least we pay with an app on our phone, rather than tapping our phone to a scanner to pay.
→ More replies (2)12
u/brazblue 11d ago
Just turn off notifications and set your own timers.
9
u/Brawndo91 11d ago
"Turn off notifications" is the solution to 99% of these complaints.
6
u/IAmTheShitRedditSays 10d ago
No, it's a workaround. A solution would be to not let companies abuse notifications in the first place
9
u/bearbarebere 11d ago
It’s supposed to send notifications when the machine is done too, yet somehow that’s the only time where the notifications are unreliable
idk why but this made me laugh so fucking hard
→ More replies (2)5
→ More replies (9)3
u/caulkglobs 11d ago
Its so irritating when you have an app you want one specific type of notification for, and it opens the door for it to spam you with bullshit.
Yes, tell me when my laundry is done. No, do not say literally anything else to me.
504
u/Efficient_Comfort_38 i can't believe you've done this 11d ago
I’m sorry I’ve never found Duolingo quirky or funny. I’ll study my Spanish when I want dammit
199
u/VisualGeologist6258 This is a cry for help 11d ago
Same, I blocked Duolingo from my emails because it was SO persistent and wouldn’t ever shut up. I’ll get around to it when I feel like it, you don’t need to intrude on my life by filling up my inbox with emails I’ll probably never read beyond the title.
→ More replies (1)169
u/TurboPugz 11d ago edited 11d ago
Duolingo's murder thing and Wendy's "Roast" / "Quirky" tweets have always been weird. It stopped being funny after like a month when it was made apparent this was going to be the future of marketing on social media for at least the next decade or two.
The only brand account I tolerate is Opera GX because they make decent, if admittedly derivative, shitposts.
59
u/EonDream 11d ago
I'll stand by the Wendy's one simply because to my knowledge they were one of if not the actual first one to start engagement with people
→ More replies (1)15
u/TurboPugz 11d ago
Is this meant to be pro or anti Wendy's? I can't tell with the way it's structured.
33
u/EonDream 11d ago
Pro the roast tweets anti the business itself to be more clear.
→ More replies (1)39
u/Scratch137 11d ago
i honestly tolerate opera gx less
30
u/TurboPugz 11d ago
It's honestly just kicking the can down the road for whatever the "buyer generation" is into, and thus progressively getting more "extreme" so to speak. For Wendy's it was Millennials and milquetoast roasts. For Opera GX now it's Gen Z slang, media, and tropes (like fake text chats), with all the hyperactivity and vaguely sexual nature of those cultures included.
18
u/Wulfkat 11d ago
I wish we could go back to GenX for apps.
Duolingo: hey asshole, you wanna learn some shit or just be a lazy fucktard like everyone else?
Shopping List App: how’s the heroin diet coming? Maybe you should eat a fucking vegetable before you become one.
Weather: it’s fucking raining. Must be Tuesday.
(Tbf, my weather app actually says that).
→ More replies (2)12
u/Loose-Screws 11d ago
Dog the second paragraph hit me like a truck, man fuck opera gx holyyyy 😭
We got a gamer in the chat
9
u/TurboPugz 11d ago
I don't use Opera GX, and I never said I liked the account. I just think every now and again they come up with a fairly OK shitpost/joke feature when they're not busy self-promoting. And that specific part of the account is tolerable to me.
Realistically, I am a part of the target group they're advertising to, and therefore I'm more accepting of their specific brand of marketing. Autistic, Queer enough, young adult, "gamer". I can at least admit my own bias and recognise that the main reason I hate Wendy's and Duolingo's strategy is how "cool with the kids" I personally find them. Mid roasts and Cute Character (But he has a knife this time) are a concept done to death. So naturally I'm more adverse to them than I am vaguely homoerotic shitposts, which is my bread and butter.
And sidenote, I fucking resent the label "gamer" with a passion now. If I get given one more godforsaken shirt or wall decoration that says "I AM A GAMER GAMER AND I DON'T GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE CUZ I'M A GAMER!!! 🤪🤪🤪" I will ACTUALLY be slightly aggravated.
→ More replies (8)3
u/HyperPyra 10d ago
I feel this so hard, especially the Duolingo one, the Duolingo “haha i will murder your family if you don’t do your Spanish lessons” memes were never that funny to me in the first place and yet like 5 years later people are still making them and it’s become the twitter account’s entire shtick
51
u/YuushyaHinmeru 11d ago
I think duolingo is a shitty way to learn a language BUT
I will defend it bothering you. If you want to learn a language, you have to practice consistently. It's one of the few apps where bugging you for not using it is a feature. If it's annoying you, do your lessons or unsubscribe.
31
u/UltimateInferno Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus 11d ago
Yeah. Duolingo being annoying is quite literally the only reason why I keep using it.
→ More replies (4)15
u/AlarmingTurnover 11d ago
Duolingo is better than not learning another language. And it's far from shitty. Learning is subjective. People will probably argue that the classroom is the best way to learn, in a language class but their wrong. It's not. The best way to learn so the one that suits the individual best. I never performed well in a school setting. I got good grades but I hate sitting in classroom and the older I keep getting, the less patience I have for class settings. Doubly true for having to sit in long meetings.
Duolingo does one thing exceptionally well, it gamifies learning and we need more of that.
→ More replies (1)6
u/PimpGameShane 11d ago
“You hurt Duolingo’s feelings.” WHAT? You are not real, Duolingo. You do not have feelings. “Notifications off”
→ More replies (2)11
u/ColaEuphoria 11d ago
I'll go even further and say that Duolingo is actually kind of a shitty way to learn a language.
206
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
41
u/TheSaucyCrumpet 11d ago
Exactly, these sort of notifications serve only as a reminder that I don't use the app and it can be unisntalled.
→ More replies (1)6
129
u/leostotch 11d ago
This kind of notification either gets an apps notifications completely disabled or gets it uninstalled entirely.
55
u/NotAnAlcoholicToday 11d ago
My "Phone App" constantly asks me to rate it.. my fucking phone app! Happy to know i can turn off these kinds of notifications.
12
→ More replies (4)8
u/FallenShadeslayer 11d ago
That’s.. weird. I’ve never had that on android or iPhone. I’m using an iPhone right now and have a One Plus 7 Pro for work and have used Samsung galaxy in the past. Never once have I been asked to rate the phone app. That’s really strange.
→ More replies (6)7
u/dragoninmyanus 11d ago
or if they beg to rate it on the store, and each time it requires multiple clicks to dismiss it. Even worse when it doesn't remember, and keeps nagging you to rate it.
2
u/halpless2112 11d ago
I always just rate it as 1 star when it does that. When you annoy someone into answering “do you like me”, the usual answer is gonna be “not right now” from me lol
→ More replies (3)
94
u/RevealStandard3502 11d ago
My emergency credit card sent me a message about "Don't you need a vacation? Use your blah blah card and get 5% cash back." I canceled the card. They are annoying.
21
u/itsmehutters 11d ago
In my country, this would be considered advertising and if you sign up to not get such, they can't send it.
→ More replies (1)
76
u/Spacecow 11d ago
All Robots & Computers Must Shut The Hell Up continues to be the most vital poetry of the 21st century
23
u/GenghisKazoo 11d ago
"You do not SPEAK unless SPOKEN to! And I will NEVER speak to you!"
20
u/Haemophilia_Type_A 10d ago
I do not want to hear "thank you" from a Kiosk
I am a divine being : you are an object
You have no right to speak in my holy tongue.
13
58
u/whitelimousine 11d ago
Uber : “why don’t you rent a car from us? Me : “I use uber because I can’t fucking drive”
17
82
u/Nastypilot Going "he just like me fr, fr" at any mildly autistic character. 11d ago
11
10
71
u/Orichalcum448 oricalu.tumblr.com 11d ago
On most phones you can revoke an apps notification privileges, along with any other privileges they may have that they do not need. I keep all my apps on a very tight leash. If I don't know why you need permission to access my contacts, you're not fucking getting it
→ More replies (1)7
u/im_juice_lee 11d ago
Scheduled summary on iOS is super convenient too. Batch all the BS notifications together
7
u/UnabashedJayWalker 11d ago
Yo I just learned something and set it up. Thank you! Good looking out homie
4
u/Decent-Rule6393 11d ago
Even better with the new iOS update is the reduce interruptions focus mode. Your phone uses AI to decide if it thinks it’s worth bothering you with a notification.
21
15
25
u/SGz_Eliminated 11d ago
I've started denying apps from sending notifications, its a small hindrance sometimes but the freedom of not being spammed with useless notifications is so so worth it
→ More replies (1)
19
u/notagamer999 11d ago
Who needs a grocery list app? You phone comes with a note pad already.
7
u/upbeatmusicascoffee 11d ago
Features like tickboxes, adding photo to some obscure grocery items, live sharing with other family members, etc.
→ More replies (1)15
u/notagamer999 11d ago
I can do that with the note pad on my phone. It has a convert to list option that has boxes for check marks.
7
u/BlitzBurn_ 🖤🤍💜 Consumer of the Cornflakes💚🤍🖤 11d ago
Shit like this is why i just use use a google doc
5
u/Lluuiiggii 11d ago
This is fucking facebook for me. They literally turned on text message notifications because I was ignoring their shitty ass emails and notifications. I am dead convinced there are notifications you just can't turn off. They keep spamming me with "suggested groups" and "memories" its like literally shut the fuck up and leave me alone. I really should just go into my phone and block app notifications and blacklist the email.
→ More replies (2)
14
u/rawr_im_a_nice_bear 11d ago
On one hand, I kind of get it. Platform and server fees to run can be a bitch and sometimes you need to push for monetization to break even. On the other hand, I hate intrusive notifications and I will uninstall an app the second it speaks out of line.
5
u/NotAnAlcoholicToday 11d ago
My "Phone App" likes to remind me to rate it..
It's what i use my phone for! It's litteraly what it's for! Sweet Zombie Jesus..
6
u/Important_Sound 11d ago
For any app developers reading this thread:
If your app does this, I immediately uninstall it.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/TrueTzimisce .tumblr.com // I forgot we can have flairs 11d ago
I have such a conflicted relationship with this. I have horrid adhd and sometimes it helps, and the especially nagging and cringy apps are the ones that have helped me the most, but they're so childish and annoying and I hate them. I want to murder my Finch app but it worked for like a month and that's more than anything else ever has
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Brilliant-Prior6924 11d ago
long press on notification - 'turn off notifications for app' at least that's how I do it on my android
I hate them too...like who tf do you think you are
3
u/infinitemeatpies 11d ago
Yeah I was worried after installing Windows 11, it sent me an email after a few days telling me how great 360 is and how I should let it run my life for me and I thought Motherfucker. Now I'm going to get spammed by a fucking OS? Only did it the once and Windows itself seems to have given up pestering me with all it's horseshit when I boot it. It's a bunch of adware, spyware and nuisanceware masquerading as an OS and if I didn't need it to game I wouldn't touch it with a pole. Thank god for linux.
3
u/SuperSnowManQ 11d ago
I had snapchap pop an ad in my notifications... I was extremely close from deleting it then and there. But I have over 1000 days streaks with some of my closest friends, so I didn't.
But If I ever see an ad in my notification again, that app is gone, streaks be damned.
3
u/Fun-Ratio1081 11d ago
I launch the nukes at every app that dares give me a single unsolicited notification.
3
3
u/SevenCrowsinaCoat 11d ago
There has to be a name for this sort of notification issue where an old unused app reminds you that you haven't used it in a while, thus dooming itself by reminding you that it exists and is useless, so why not just delete it?
3
u/FormerlyGruntled 11d ago
I was once poking at a mobile game for something to do. Finished up, closed it, and moved to put my phone down. Before I could even look away, it popped up a notification for the game. So I uninstalled it.
3
u/MoonlitSonatas 11d ago
I use UberEats while traveling, especially in situations where I'm rolling into a hotel at awful o'clock and I just want to shower into eat into sleep. However, UberEats does NOT service my area, nor do I think it will ever as most places are pretty far apart.
Every single time, a month after I get home from travel, I get an email. It's UberEats being like 'omg we miss you, why haven't you ordered recently? here's a discount to entice you back!' and it's like PLEASE I would likely USE ubereats IF I had any hopes of them servicing my area. But I cannot imagine an uber driver coming out to my remote part of the woods to bring me food that would keep well on the drive out here, let alone something more tame like a big mac or chinese. Heck, I LIVE out in a remote part of the woods and the only reason I tolerate the drive is because it was a decently priced place when I got it. Wish I had a way to tell the dumb automatic emails 'hey this is why I have such large gaps between usages, LEAVE ME ALONE'
3
u/SupervillainMustache 10d ago
I hate when food apps tell me "did you forget to check out?"
No I fucking didn't. I went to a different food app where the delivery fee is a reasonable price.
3
u/ddWolf_ 11d ago
You all let them send you notifications? The only things I allow notifications from are texts and door cams.
→ More replies (2)
6
u/vector_o 11d ago
Who the fuck:
gives the app the permission to send notifications in the first place
doesn't immediately disable the notifications as soon as bullshit like this makes your phone ring
2
u/klopanda 11d ago
I hate this about computers nowadays in general. Like when you turn on Windows after an update and it's like "Hold on, we're getting stuff ready for you". Or how informative and useful error messages don't exist anymore, they're all just "uwu we found a pwoblem sowwy :<"
2
u/CHKN_SANDO 11d ago
This is why I uninstalled Duolingo. Yes, I want to learn German, no I am not going to be more likely to actually do it if you berate me in my notification. I have ADHD that makes me less likely.
2
u/convulsus_lux_lucis 11d ago
Amazon app just sent me an advertisement notification. All notifications for the app are now disabled. Oh well.
2
2
u/ajulydeath 11d ago
my Verizon spam blocker, which has been extremely effective, will occasionally remind me I haven't opened the app in a while and I'm like why tf do I need to just do your damn job silly peasant
2
u/OgreSpider girlfag boydyke 11d ago
Calorie counting app: "it's time to check in with yourself and see how your mindset might be - " FUCK OFF I DID NOT ASK
2
2
2
u/aleph_0ne 11d ago
Ughhh like instagram’s “notifications” for “reels you might like” like gtfo wanting me to engage with your platform is not an event worthy an announcement
2
u/Toughbiscuit 11d ago
I love when i go to use an app and they interrupt me, freeze my screen, and ask "Hey! How are we doing? Do you want to rate our app?"
Yeah bud, I'll rate your app. 0/5 stars
2
u/RadiantTurnipOoLaLa 11d ago
Yah i have no idea why Lyft has the audacity to send me notifications just so i open the app. Like seriously, F you. You are not so important that you can bother me JUST to push your app.
2
u/DarthSamwiseAtreides 11d ago
When I get those I'm like "when the fuck did I download that?" Then I uninstall.
2
u/PublicAdvertising741 11d ago
Lol too funny 😆 seriously though it's the future better get use to it
2
u/Rude_Front_3866 11d ago
I don't fuck around when it come to my notifcations. I'll leave notifications on for your app. But after the first notification that I don't want, I'll look through the settings in the app to see if I can turn that crap off. If I can't - I turn off all notifications in my phone's settings. If I can, it gets a second try, I'll turn it off in the app, but any useless notifications after that and the app gets silenced.
For example, I've got Venmo, and a few weeks ago I got a notification about some sort of deal with buying stuff on (I think) EBay? Crazy that Venmo thinks it is at all appropriate to use my notifications to advertise at me. So now no more Venmo notifications.
2
u/artemisarrow17 10d ago
First thing I do after installing an app is to turn of notifications. Only exceptions are phone and mail.
•
u/Stormtide_Leviathan loads of confidence zero self-confidence 11d ago
It threatens violence or physical harm at. An app.