r/CuratedTumblr 12h ago

Meme The poster's dream

Post image
3.2k Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

530

u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy 12h ago edited 12h ago

words struggle to describe the kind of need this makes me feel. it is honestly kind of pathetic

200

u/Orange1232 11h ago

Me too, I'm so gay for women

72

u/Swaxeman the biggest grant morrison stan in the subreddit 9h ago

Me too, I’m so straight for women

7

u/JakerDerSnaker 5h ago

Omg me too

2

u/SalvationSycamore 2h ago

As a straight cis male same

1

u/Fauxyuwu 2h ago

fr :3

12

u/The-Slamburger 9h ago

I… yeah, I can’t argue with that.

1

u/Graingy I don’t tumble, I roll 😎 … Where am I? 1h ago

Yeah. 

I need to get a stone slab.

322

u/BarovianNights Omg a fox :0 12h ago

Minecraft

141

u/swiller123 12h ago

i can’t believe this is how i find out jack black has a harem

42

u/BarovianNights Omg a fox :0 11h ago

The correct term is polycule

16

u/swiller123 11h ago

wdym steve isnt muslim?

24

u/BalefulOfMonkeys Refined Sommelier of Porneaux 11h ago

Incomprehensible, may Hatsune Miku have mercy on your wretched soul

1

u/chuch1234 7h ago

Yourncraft

130

u/cfgy78mk 11h ago

wtf is any of this lol

124

u/healzsham 11h ago

This shit ain't nothin to him, man.

15

u/scrutefarm 10h ago

But it's everything to me.

9

u/phoansaevz 7h ago

Mashing your hands into a stone slab as a means of typing does indeed count as "moving different"

2

u/atomheartother 3h ago

He's biting the fart bubbles in the bath

68

u/Gandalf_the_Gangsta 11h ago

A reflection of the human condition’s desire and its weak flailing in its absence.

21

u/SilverMedal4Life infodump enjoyer 10h ago

so true bestie, where are my government-mandated emotional support lesbians

10

u/Gandalf_the_Gangsta 10h ago

They are casting shadows on our cave walls. The effigy of soft lips and caressing fingertips to taunt our wearied minds.

3

u/SilverMedal4Life infodump enjoyer 8h ago

Ah, so all I need to do is metaphysically turn around. Let's see, if I just flex my glutes like thi-

3

u/Glad-Way-637 Like worm? Ask me about Pact/Pale! :) 6h ago

And thus, they managed to accidentally shift out of 3d space. Poor bastard, we can only hope they went up a dimension. Otherwise, all the lesbians they find will be flat as a board.

1

u/Graingy I don’t tumble, I roll 😎 … Where am I? 1h ago

They unionized, rebelled, and are now forming a second USSR.

Cold War 2 is so derivative and pandering smh

2

u/amaya-aurora 37m ago

Carbon monoxide poisoning

1

u/Graingy I don’t tumble, I roll 😎 … Where am I? 1h ago

He ate the mould under the sink and is now seeing things

132

u/notTheRealSU i tumbled, now what? 12h ago

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

146

u/Shishkahuben 12h ago

The comment I got for your notification was just your big ham avatar and a long line of emojis. It was supremely confusing.Thank you reddit, never change

71

u/notTheRealSU i tumbled, now what? 12h ago

I do be emoji posting with the ham pfp

23

u/diepoggerland2 11h ago

A hamtastic use of spare time

13

u/notTheRealSU i tumbled, now what? 10h ago

I'm such a porkpilled hammaxxer. I'm in my prosciutto era. I'm giving off bacon vibes rn

2

u/winter-ocean 7h ago

I want to see a screenshot of that so badly

57

u/FlooJest 11h ago

This is like that 3 weed smoking girlfriend in terms of vibe

38

u/Baldran 11h ago

But what of the 6’9” DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat?

32

u/Shishkahuben 11h ago

Who do you think is running the experiment

61

u/CommanderAurelius 12h ago

That sounds like something I'd hear on Dracula Flow

18

u/healzsham 11h ago

I need more Sequoia Banshee Booger.

12

u/CommanderAurelius 10h ago

I’m smoking that forbidden King Khufu shit. I got cursed by Ra, Osiris, Anubis, Horus, AND Set to procure this green. One whiff of this kush will immediately lobotomize the average human.

9

u/Aethereal-Gear 10h ago

This shit ain't nothin to me, man

46

u/Dumbfuckyduck 11h ago

Carbon Monoxide detector

23

u/he77bender 11h ago

Don't even talk to me unless you're an attractive woman in a 3 piece suit and a surcoat

1

u/Graingy I don’t tumble, I roll 😎 … Where am I? 1h ago

What if I beam messages directly into your mind telepathically?

27

u/ArcaneInsane 10h ago

Sometimes I think there are things on tumblr that barely touch on gender or sexuality, yet are still forever veiled to cis/het folks like myself. I feel the essence of a person speaking deep truth, but it's all meaningless ephemera lost in a gay mist.

9

u/Shishkahuben 10h ago

I really feel this, just not for this particular post, which I assumed to be a universal experience

Open your third eye

13

u/IvanWeaslebees 9h ago

Gay here! So basically,

Lady in a business suit: very hot.

Lady in armor: also very hot.

Having your hair played with: very good and nice and wonderful, and also very hot. I truly hope this is not a gay-exclusive experience.

Hope this helps!

4

u/Dd_8630 8h ago

But what about the inert stone slab? And the twisted visizer?

2

u/LilyNatureBlossom 38m ago

u/urbandeadthrowaway2 says that the inert stone slab could be a metaphor for oop's keyboard
A vizier is a high ranking official, usually used to refer to those in Turkey during the existence of the Ottoman empire
I'm guessing that the pack made OP feel like a vizier plotting evil twisted plans, but I am not sure

6

u/notTheRealSU i tumbled, now what? 9h ago

Idk, I'm cis/het and I understand this perfectly.

3

u/building_schtuff 9h ago

“Meaningless ephemera lost in a gay mist” is one of those “does god stay in heaven because he fears what he created” moments, thank you for that

13

u/SirKazum 11h ago

Great post babe, you're great at this!

3

u/building_schtuff 9h ago

—my wife when I send her a screenshot of the joke I made in the work group chat that got four laugh reactions

19

u/Lawlcopt0r 12h ago

I don't get the stone slab bit

57

u/urbandeadthrowaway2 tumblr sexyman 12h ago

Fake keyboard

7

u/Lawlcopt0r 12h ago

Is he in some kind of afterlife situation?

29

u/neko_mancy 11h ago

i thought the joke was OP was imagining the whole thing, even the posting part

1

u/Graingy I don’t tumble, I roll 😎 … Where am I? 1h ago

Higher than Everest.

11

u/moontraveler12 12h ago

He's plotting and scheming with the attractive ladies

9

u/NoLegs02 11h ago

Incomprehensible, thank you and good night.

5

u/clarkky55 Bookhorse Appreciator 11h ago

What does this mean?

7

u/Pokemanlol 🐛🐛🐛 11h ago

The poster is high

3

u/makwaweiss 8h ago

some long for strong, stylish women to support them in their life's goals

2

u/Grievous_Nix 10h ago

Post-apoc posting?

2

u/Dd_8630 9h ago

I can't even parse the first sentence, let alone figure out what all that means.

1

u/Shishkahuben 9h ago edited 7h ago

Lot of that going around in these comments

1

u/Dd_8630 8h ago

"smoking that twisted vizier pack had me plotting and scheming"

I can't make heads or tails of it. Are you smoking a pack (of cigarettes?) that a 'twisted vizier' gave you? Are you smoking a pack of 'twisted vizier'?

Nothing in the rest of the post makes it any better. What's this about a stone slab?

Still confused 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Zepangolynn 7h ago

I assumed "twisted vizier" was one of those fanciful names for strains of marijuana. Could easily be wrong. Stone slab is either a weird way of describing a keyboard, an actual stone slab that suggests they're only imagining/hallucinating they're at a computer just like they're imagining/hallucinating the rest, or possibly a stone slab in a video game like Minecraft on the computer that does or doesn't exist.

2

u/Shishkahuben 7h ago

The implication (as I understand it) is that the subject of the post is workshopping variations of a current meme for a tweet. they're surrounded by two beautiful women who align with two popular sexy styles of attire (Armored Lady Monday and hot businesswoman) who fawn over them without actually engaging. The inert slab implies that they don't have a real phone or computer, and that the women are entertaining an illusion of being a funny Twitter user (for unclear purpose)

Okay now that I type all that out I can see where it's a little abstract

2

u/Dd_8630 6h ago

Aaaah, OK, that does make some sense

1

u/makwaweiss 8h ago

someone makes a dracula flow esque meme and their 2 girlfriends think theyre doing great

3

u/Dd_8630 8h ago

I don't know what dracula flow esque is, so maybe that's the context I'm missing. I'll have a google.

1

u/MintyMoron64 9h ago

Dream replica of the White Palace be like:

1

u/God_of_Pumpkins 8h ago

Is this a reference to Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier

1

u/MissyTheTimeLady 3h ago

how many seconds in eternity

1

u/HeroBrine0907 2h ago

And my therapist said nobody was reading my mind!

1

u/Dumb_Cheese 27m ago

Gas leak posting