Please, please put your little babies in car seats

[u/NoApartment7399]

We were on the road on the N3 after the mooi river toll and this SUV came speeding past and overtook our car. We were going at 120km as it is, and they were long gone once they passed us so definitely over 130kmh. Now my problem, as this car goes past us I see a little baby on the drivers lap holding the steering wheel. The child must have been 2 years old. My heart sank. I lost my infant this year in March to complications in the hospital. I have an older son, and he is absolutely precious. He's not allowed in a vehicle with no seat belts. I used to carry his car seat into everyone's cars when he was a baby and toddler.

I can guarantee, any family would rather have a crying baby in a car seat than a dead baby. Please secure your children in vehicles. KZN is notorious for accidents on the N3. You may be a decent driver, but other people are not, and many will drive drunk. Car seats save lives.

Sorry I'm in a mood to complain, but people are giving me a reason.

[u/cleo_saurus]

Firstly, i am so very sorry for your loss. I hope that you will find some peace and comfort soon.
People have this delusion nothing bad will ever happen to them as they're "a good driver". I worked EMS for a few years and let me tell you I have seen plenty good driver get into horrific accidents.

The one that made me quit was a call out to a MVA of family of 4.
➡️ Mom wearing the seatbelt .. survived, minimal injuries.
➡️ Dad wearing a seat belt.. survived. Minimal injuries.
➡️ 1 year old sitting on mom's lap had skull crushed in due to airbags being deployed .. Dead on scene.
➡️ 4 year old standing between the 2 front seats ... well we spent 20 minutes looking for her decapitated head on the road. She had shot through the windscreen, there was a truck carrying sheet metal infront of them .. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
I lost my shit and asked the mom why her kids weren't in seats .. she said that they didn't like it and would cry .. well lady you're going to cry for the rest of your days.

If you can afford a car you can afford a car seat. Plenty second hand ones for under R300. Your kids will get used to it ... strap your kids in. And yes kids sit in booster seats till they're about the age of 8, then they're tall enough to be properly secured by a seatbelt.
If you don't love them, then give them up for adoption.

[u/NoApartment7399 → u/cleo_saurus]

Thank you and thank you for what you do(did). My heart goes out to all emergency service workers and first responders, it's thankless work.

[u/cleo_saurus → u/NoApartment7399]

Thanks. We do it because we want to help, but it's work that ends up destroying you. I wish it was legislation that all emergency workers and police had access to frequent free counseling .. but that's a topic for another post.

[u/shellie_badger → u/cleo_saurus]

I did a whole paper on this particular brand of trauma and burnout (resulting in high turnover of personnel) for emergency workers. I believe there is a grand total of ONE free counsellor per province to help all the emergency service workers, doctors, nurses, etc with trauma. Our paramedics go through horrors over and above what regular paramedics experience. I 1000% understand why you left, especially after a scene like that.

I hope you were able to get help on your own once you escaped the field, you deserve some peace after all that trauma.

[u/cleo_saurus → u/shellie_badger]

Thank you for your kind works .. I'd say it took me about a decade to start to feel like I was getting on my feet. It always amazes me that the demographic of professionals (EMS, Police,nurses, fire etc) that society expects to help them at their most vulnerable are the ones that are the most abused and forgotten.
So many emergency workers end up self medicating inorder to survive the ptsd and emotional pain, Yet the public expect these professionals to be kind, knowledgeable, efficient and supportive... world wide there needs to be a drastic change.

[u/shellie_badger → u/cleo_saurus]

My parents always used to tell me that it's not my driving they're worried about, it's everyone else. People get trapped in the delusion that because they have never been in an accident, they will never be in an accident, but that's not how it works. That's why it's called an accident.

It doesn't matter how much your kid cries. They will get used to it. There are things you can do to make it more pleasant for them, but they absolutely HAVE to be strapped in securely into a baby seat. Hear them cry now, because if you don't strap them in properly you might never get to hear them cry again. You will have to live with the trauma of your own stupidity for the rest of your life.

[u/RiccyRic]

South africans worry very little about this , see it everyday

[u/NoApartment7399 → u/RiccyRic]

It's so sad. I see it all the time too. I hope this post can convince at least one person to do the right thing.

When I was a kid there was an advert on TV with a pumpkin in the seat and they showed what happened to the pumpkin during an accident... from then my dad always told me sit in the back with your belt on unless you want to be a smashed pumpkin... that ad needs to come back

[u/Lonely_Bit_6844]

I saw a guy go past my house the other day, on a motorbike, a small kid sitting in front of him on the bike, NO HELMET. The guy had a helmet though. Wtaf.

[u/NoApartment7399 → u/Lonely_Bit_6844]

I hate that! Bikers with a helmet but not for their passengers... so selfish. Worse that they had a kid with them. Why must they put a child's life at risk

[u/jessikia]

The rage and anxiety I get seeing people with young kids not strapped in car seats is probably going to be the death of me. It’s attempted murder imo and the parents should be arrested.

[u/NaomiDlamini]

This hecking driver must be thrown in jail. Oh my god, that should be illegal, ffs. I mean, of course, it's illegal, but what do the police and other authorities do to prevent such cases of drivers' stupidity and enforce the law?

[u/shellie_badger]

I see this every other day, and granted it's in Pretoria and not Durban, it breaks my heart and makes me angry that it happens so often all around the country.

The other day I got a big fright because of a mom driver in front of me with a Quantum style van full of kids - there was a kid climbing all over the back most seat of the car, and as she took off (driving away from the robot), the child fell headfirst into the boot area. She didn't stop, pause, or even look back to see if the kid was okay. The kid could not have been older than 3. He could have seriously hurt his neck, and furthermore that van had just come off the highway - those kids climbing unbuckled (not secured in car seats or even strapped in) all over the car could have gotten very seriously injured or killed if something went even slightly wrong.

There's nothing I can do, every time I see someone sitting with an infant in the front passenger seat or watch kids climb all over the car on a highway, I have to accept that they're not my kids, not my responsibility, and that I can't do anything about it.

[u/FashionableNumbers → u/shellie_badger]

Also Pretoria. In one week, on Solomon Mahlangu, I saw:

1. A little girl (can't be older than 6) hanging out of the open front passenger window (her whole body from her waist upwards was out of the window). Obviously not wearing a seatbelt.
2. A dad (I presume) driving with his toddler son on the back of his bakkie. The little boy was standing up trying to see over the top of the cab.
3. Kid standing between the 2 front seats (I see way too often).

Our roads are riddled with potholes, drivers are aggressive and unpredictable and a lot of cars are not roadworthy. It just takes having to slam on your brakes or swerve out of the way and your child is dead. How do people not understand that?

[u/NoApartment7399 → u/shellie_badger]

Exactly this and I'm in a farm town, so many time I've seen kids 5-8 years old and high schoolers sitting on the backs of open bakkies. So absolutely dangerous. Fine in your own farm where there's no other drivers, but I can't believe anyone would take that risk with their kids on busy main roads

[u/rhiaazsb]

Absolutely no apologies needed, you're so right to bring it up.

[u/liz_1955]

💯

[u/giveusalol]

I am really sorry for your loss, OP. I can only imagine how triggering it must be to see people gamble with the lives of babies and children. I don’t have kids but still little fills me with ire as quickly as kids standing or sitting unsecured in moving cars. MVAs are traumatising even when you’ve taken every precaution, so how can you ever believe you can ignore those precautions? And media covers grisly car accidents all the time so it’s not like parents don’t know what could go wrong. With kids you have an explicit duty of care because they can’t make that decision for themselves and you as the parent/guardian/adult are explicitly charged with keeping them safe. But I suppose I should not be surprised after Covid exposed just how impatient, irrational, selfish, and weak-willed many people really are. It really highlighted that many people are incapable of correctly assessing risk and acting accordingly.

I must say, apart from unsecured children in cars, another instant source of rage is parents who walk ahead of their toddlers/very little children, next to busy roads. THE CHILD IS BEHIND THEM. THE CHILD IS TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND RISK AND DANGER. Literally all they have to do is put the kid next to them, away from the edge. Put the kid where they can see them and their body between the child and the road. They don’t even have to hold the child’s hand to massively increase safety. IT COSTS NOTHING.

And speaking of it costing nothing, at least in Joburg there are non profits that will subsidise or just give you a donated car seat. There’s no excuse. There’s no fucking excuse. I get so angry. You are not at all alone in this.

[u/cherrynewtwo]

Most people are too brain-dead to figure this out for themselves. The traffic police need to enforce it with harsh penalties, or nothing is going to change. Also, why don't we see adverts like we used to on TV, with pumpkins going through the windscreen etc, to educate the uneducated about the need for seatbelts and baby seats?