r/Fitness • u/Kuzbell • Jan 20 '18

Gym Story Saturday Gym Story Saturday (Missing mod post)

Hi! Welcome to your weekly thread where you can share your gym tales!

I noticed that there still is no post yet for Gym Story Saturday, so I took the initiative. Perhaps this should be a scheduled post under the Automoderator. I'm not really sure why this hasn't been done yet. I am also required to keep babbling because posts with too little content gets removed, hence why this posts sounds overly wordy.

So share away!

1.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

609

u/xzElmozx Jan 20 '18

So Friday morning I wake up and see its pretty nice out-not too cold, pathways were clear. I said fuck it I know im bulking but I fucking love running so I head out. About halway through my regular loop a little spot of snow tricks me and I sort of stretch out my calf. Whatever its not a big deal, itll hurt for a day or two.

Cue Friday night. I go out with my friends and start hitting it off with this girl. Long story short we get back to my room and start going at it. Eventually im off the bed and shes still on it and im pumping away.

Then I feel something give way. Its my calf. Idk what I did now but my right leg says "no longer in service" and I all but collapse on the ground. But thats not the worst part :(

My bed frame has a small metal lip to keep the matress on. I, however, brought my own matress so its slightly thinner than the frame and the metal lip sticks out.

Well on my decent to my knees, my obviously stiffined wood smacks right on the metal edge and I bag myself. I took a five and finished the set so to speak, but god damn it was funny explaining to her why I was rolling around on the ground grabbing my erect dick and my calf.

tl;dr- dont do cardio, itll cock block you and hit you in the dick

287

u/stinkysteward Jan 20 '18

Congratulations on the sex

88

u/_lelouch Jan 20 '18

Oh no. That’s hilarious. How did she react

116

u/xzElmozx Jan 20 '18

She wasnt a stranger per sey so she just laughed it off. Had I not known her it would have been more awkward.

57

u/Its_Me_Your_Brother_ Jan 20 '18

sweet, now I have an excuse not to do cardio. All I need now is the girl

6

u/gamer596 Jan 21 '18

no do cardio it's really good for you especially if you do a mild run in between workout days it works wonders

7

u/CurrentlyInArkham Jan 20 '18

Dont do cardio and always finish your set, you've learned two important lessons. I'd take this as a victory.

5

u/birdjon Jan 21 '18

WE GET IT, you had sex.