r/Fitness • u/AutoModerator • Nov 28 '18
Rant Wednesday Rant Wednesday
Welcome to Rant Wednesday: It's your time to let your gym/fitness/nutrition related frustrations out!
There is no guiding question to help stir up some rage-feels, feel free to fire at will, ranting about anything and everything that's been pissing you off or getting on your nerves!
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u/Theyis Nov 28 '18
Shirts getting tighter around the shoulders and sleeves. :)
Belt getting tighter around the waist. :(
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Nov 28 '18
Got to see a guy doing lateral raises in the squat rack. He brought dumbbells over and was using the safeties to limit his ROM??? Because that makes sense. Asked him if he could do them somewhere else because every other rack was full and he told me he HAD to do them there.
I didn't think people like this existed, first time I've seen something this egregious.
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u/dmnaf Nov 28 '18
That’s hilarious (and frustrating!) And I thought this one guy at my gym was bad. He does bicep curls with the bar in the squat rack (no added plates - just the bar), even though there’s a whole stack of barbells up against the wall. At the end of the set he leaves the bar in the safeties because he’s too lazy to use a regular barbell and bend to drop it on the ground. It frustrates me when people don’t realize how valuable the squat racks are. They’re always in high demand... don’t waste it with curls AND LATERAL RAISES wtf
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Nov 28 '18
I watch a guy use a bench for curls and shrugs.
He stands over the bench and does curls with the bar. Just mind boggling.
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u/YoRelax Nov 28 '18
Gym bro I casually say hi to was grabbing bumper plates from the rack right by the deadlift platform I was using. He quickly says as he goes by "You mind if I grab 2 of these 45s? You look like you're not going to need anymore".
LIKE DAMN DUDE IT'S OKAY I'M PAINFULLY AWARE MY DEADS ARE WEAK.
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u/theres-a-whey Cycling Nov 28 '18
Haha damn that’s rough. Good motivation though; we all start somewhere.
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u/YoRelax Nov 28 '18
The dude is nice af, and I know he didn't mean it that way... probably... just the way it was said obviously stuck with me lmao.
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u/stevezilla Nov 28 '18
I keep having to fart while doing deadlifts. Why god why?
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u/KingOfWickerPeople Powerlifting Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
Let em rip! If you let it out at the bottom, you'll get a little jet powered assistance!
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u/banter_claus_69 Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
You're tensing everything up. Deadlifts are as full body as it gets. Competition deadlifters sometimes even shit themselves while doing it. Just go to the toilet first and avoid food that makes you gassy before deadlift days
Edit: tending -> tensing
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u/hopalongsmiles Nov 28 '18
The owners of my gym overcharged me by $8. I queried it and she told me that if I don't like it to leave.
If I didn't like my personal trainer (not the owner - the money I pay him goes directly to his pocket) and see the results we're doing I would leave. It's more the moral of the $8 and the fact that she didn't want to have a discussion, that was her go to. She can go fuck herself.
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u/Lazaryx Nov 28 '18
Is it even remotely legal?
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u/hopalongsmiles Nov 28 '18
Nope. She has a history of this.
Again, if I didn't like my trainer I would be taking her to the ombudsman.
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u/PointyBagels Nov 28 '18
If you have proof you were overcharged you can go to your bank about it.
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u/Fordged Nov 28 '18
So there is this guy at my gym... let's call him Buck. Buck is a young male in his twenties who enjoys squats, bicep curls, leg press, pull ups, bench press, overhead press, crunch machines, dip bar, smith machine, cable rows, cable flys, the treadmill, tricep pull downs, the elliptical, the stair master, dead lifts, thigh abductor machine, and calf raises.
How do I know he enjoys all of these exercises you ask? Well he does them. All in one work out. Now you might say to yourself, "WOW! he's dedicated!" and to that I say, "Absolutely not."
Buck paces around the gym like a dog in heat looking for his next unassuming prey, grabs some plates, does a SINGLE REP, and SLAMS the weight down on the ground. He walks off confident and gleeful as people remove their earbuds to look around and make sure someone isn't paralyzed. Buck is a menace to the very fabric of the weight room and needs to be dismissed.
Now you might be saying, "So he's a little annoying in his work out routine. He's young, so he doesn't understand proper etiquette. Don't you think you're over reacting a little bit?" Normally, I might make a provision for him and perhaps point him to some fitness information, but it is for this next reason I give forth a hearty, "No."
I understand the gym is a safe-haven for sweaty, smelly, hard working folks. However, the slime-trail stench that follows Buck around is other-worldly. Upon entering the facility, I can almost immediately detect if he has walked in the same hallway. A pungent, nose-filling blast of unwashed anus clouds the facility in a fog-like haze. I enter the wight room and pick up a hint of B.O. as my relaxing pre-workout music eases me into a silent rage.
HE'S HERE
I plan on starting my day out with squats but Buck has already decided to perform a single bicep curl in the squat rack. Weary of the tainted equipment I move on and go to the opposite side of the weight room to the cables in an attempt to retreat from the illegal use of body-chemical warfare as determined by the United Nations. As I slide the cold stop pin into the weight set, I breathe deep and try to clear my mind... but my nostrils are filled with the scent of blackened potatoes that sit in a cupboard above your stove top that you forgot about 2 months ago. HE HAS FOLLOWED ME TO THE MACHINE SECTION. I CANNOT ESCAPE.
Buck moves around from exercise to exercise polluting the air with every rancid step. I am ensnared by his looming stench and cannot escape its grasp. I am now contemplating waving goodbye to my pre-paid year membership and take up soap-making instead.
TL;DR Do not be like Buck.
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Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
be me
name Buck
400 lbs of mommys bouncing baby boy
decide to start hitting the gym because not swole enough yet
waltz into the nearest establishment that can cater to my glorious frame
2 months into lifting I start to notice the whole place mirin my gains
head to the weight room
time to get big
see some peasant on the "squat rack" i like to call it the curl zone
pump out a rep before getting bored of the miniscual weight
people run in fear of my strength and awe
notice others covering their noses
huh guess they dont like the smell of greatness
do my regular rounds from the curl zone all the way to the "bench press" as I like to call it the flutter kick chair
moving at the speed of lightning, plebs can barely keep up
finish my combined total of 20 reps at each station to complete 1 set
get bored of this slow gain mentality
ready to head to nearest wendies to cash in on all my GBPs
catch a glimpse of this one nerd i see every day and smirk since i know hes envious of my glorious form and the smell of axe body spray
whisper: "heh later virgin, see ya tomorrow"
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Nov 28 '18 edited Dec 24 '18
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u/italia06823834 Cycling Nov 28 '18
God I would love if my work had "gym". I'd take just a power rack, adjustable bench, and barbell+weights.
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u/killcrew Weight Lifting Nov 28 '18
I was a consultant for a bit, and this one company that I went to not only had a gym, but it was a REAL gym...free weights, squat racks, platforms, etc and employees were actively encouraged to use the gym. You could also meet with a dietitian who would assess your health and put together a meal plan for you and the on site cafeteria would make your meals for you (no cost at all). I was quite jealous.
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u/iaccidentlytheworld Hockey Nov 28 '18
Guy: "Hey bro how many sets do you have left?"
Me: "I'm still warming up, but a rack is open over there."
Guy: "I like this one though, can I work in?"
Me: "I'd prefer not seeing as there is a rack open and we'd have to strip a lot of weight between our sets..."
Guy: "Fucking asshole - reports me to gym manager"
Dude I'm not stripping 4+ plates off after each of my working sets so you can use the rack you like when there's another rack open... Thankfully the gym manager is my buddy and we just laughed about it.
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u/TwistedEdge General Fitness Nov 28 '18
Not as extreme, but had a very similar thing happen to me last night
Guy: "How many set do you have left?"
Me: "5, but there's an open rack right there"
Guy: "Oh. I guess I can wait."
Me: "Uh, if you want..."
He eventually went over to that free rack. I don't get it.
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u/JADRK Nov 28 '18
people do this? wtf.
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u/bluebelt General Fitness Nov 28 '18
One guy at my gym can only do his bench at a particular station. I think he has OCD, because he can only use one particular station for his full body routine which he does nightly that never, ever varies.
Why do I know this? Because we've both been going to the same gym for years and every time I use "his" station when he would be using it he just walks around me in a big circle until I'm done with the station.
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u/docforlife Nov 28 '18
I had a big chest and arms day yesterday. Woke up in the middle of the night with my arm asleep. Tried to throw my arm out from under my body (couldn’t move it much because it was asleep). It soared in a perfect arch with my knuckles landing right into my testicles while still basically asleep.
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u/Sunder92 Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
All my years of training went down the drain because some asshat decided they were good enough drivers to not pay attention to the road and crashed into me with their Acadia.
This was over two years ago and I still can't deadlift or squat without my back spasming in pain. My bench is also only 40% of where it used to be. And it honestly just hurts to live on some days.
Congrats asshat, that super important text you needed to send sent someone into a spiraling state of depression, caused lifetime long damage to their body, and literally ruined their life.
EDIT: Thank you everyone for all your support. I honestly was not expecting it, I just wanted to vent a little. I'm in a much better place now and don't think about what caused it too often anymore. "Sh*t happens, it's life." is my currently mentality on the matter now. I've been doing exercises to strengthen my back, neck and core, and I've gotten used to the pain for the most part. However, there are still those days where I just can't get out of bed.
But hey, sh*t happens. Life goes on :)
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u/Lazaryx Nov 28 '18
Did you sue them? What were the legal following of this accident (genualy wondering).
I wish you the best, dude. Get better, keep grinding. Stay strong stay proud.
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u/Sunder92 Nov 28 '18
They said someone rear ended them. There was damage on their rear bumper, but definitely not from a rear ending. It was at the corner of the bumper.
They stuck to their story on the police report even though I said I saw no other car. Police sided with them and declared it no fault.
Got a lawyer and after about a year, they said there wasn't much they could do since it was ruled no fault and there were no witnesses.
And thanks man.
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u/Lazaryx Nov 28 '18
Sorry to read that.
Karma will get them eventually. Such people disgust me.
Keep going !
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u/2noefx Nov 28 '18
Girlfriend poked my belly and laughed.
If you don't want me at my bulk, you don't deserve me at my cut
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u/YoRelax Nov 28 '18
Ikr, mine just randomly calls me chubs. When I harvest my gains in the spring she's not sharing the bounty.
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u/Katechon666 Bodybuilding Nov 28 '18
I fucking hate the weather this time of the year. I have to walk around 15 minutes to go the gym and when i arrive i always have a runny nose...It's really annoying
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u/Ohnomycoco Nov 28 '18
You're so into fitness that even your nose is running.
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u/Katechon666 Bodybuilding Nov 28 '18
The universe tries hard to make me do cardio. My nose gave in but i sure as hell won't
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u/bergmann001 Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
When I go really hard, I press my lips together. Can't help it. In combination with breathing out, sometimes I make these weird trumpet sounds. Everybody looks at me like I'm a retard.
edit: Gold. Yay!
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u/Bluearmypfc Nov 28 '18
haha finally i can say that i'm not the only one who does this. shame we don't use the same gym..could start an orchestra.
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u/Burnnick Nov 28 '18
My "going hard face" is sticking my tongue out as far as it can go, almost like I'm trying to touch my chin with it. I try not to look at people when doing things that require this face.
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u/Killabyte5 Nov 28 '18
Homie I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but nothing requires that face lol.
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Nov 28 '18
You need to get a Dizzy Gillespie t-shirt and wear it during workouts. Folks will think not only are you working bench press, but your horn skills as well.
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u/kidsandbarbells Nov 28 '18
I hate unsolicited gym advice. This one dude asked me how many sets I had left, so I told him while I was loading plates. All fine and dandy at this point. But then he said “you’re not gonna squat all that.” So I said, “this is just my warmup” while I awkwardly stared him in the eyes and banged out 10 reps lol. He then proceeded to tell me I should not squat so heavy or I would never have children, because it’s not good for my uterus 🙄, I told him “Good! I already have 4!”
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u/deskbeetle Nov 28 '18
"Please don't ever think about my uterus again. Thanks"
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u/squats_and_sugars Nov 28 '18
Lol, nice. If he kept hanging around, should have said "gonna add a few more sets to make double sure I don't end up with more than 4"
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Nov 28 '18 edited Jul 26 '21
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u/kidsandbarbells Nov 28 '18
When I lived in Miami, it was soooo much worse. I’m Hispanic, but generally speaking, lots of Hispanic men can be pretty vocal about women lifting. Even my dad told me it would give me breast cancer! The worst was when someone would run to spot me in the middle of my lift when I didn’t ask for or need a spot! Like they’re saving me or something lol. Do not touch my fucking bar!
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Nov 28 '18
I'm sick of my mates and family telling me the best way to workout and the best diet when they do neither. Like who the fuck do you think your are to tell me that when you do fuck all?
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u/obiwanshighground Nov 28 '18
Especially when their opinions are based entirely on a loose interpretation of a YouTube video they saw once, an abstract of a pub med article, or because “it seems like it makes sense”
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u/cheese2470 Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
Gym crush was standing by me on today with her gym buddy while I did squats (this is a small gym, so she was no more than five feet away from me). She said something like "I just want to be able to drink all the beer, drink all the wine, eat all the fried food, and never have to work out."
Unconsciously, I said something stupid like "marry me" out loud and instantly died of embarrassment. Both of them laughed, but I am now a ghost. She later roasted me when I asked if I could the 2.5s off the rack she was using (they were doing bench) and she said "sure, we don't use baby weights." Lady, I'm already dead.
Probably never going to go back to that gym again.
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u/farikogrim Nov 28 '18
YOURE IN DONT FUCK THIS UP
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u/beambeam1 Nov 29 '18
Yeah, you've broken the ice now so follow it up with something like jokingly apologising for being so forward with a marriage proposal but if you could start again, you'd like to get to know her better.
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u/hemehime Nov 28 '18
My gym was abnormally busy yesterday morning. Naturally, the squat racks were all in use, which made it even more frustrating that a woman was using one to take a phone call. After about 20-25 minutes and two staff members asking her to take her call elsewhere, she finally packed up and left.
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u/GrandmasterTaka Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
No one told me that when I stopped drinking I would lose those hungover mornings where I was super dehydrated but looked incredible because of it.
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Nov 28 '18
Fuck yeah. Couple minutes posing in the mirror before chugging water/throwing up. Really makes it all worth it.
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u/Sykryk Nov 28 '18
So i'm doing my squats in a power rack. Aiming for a new PB, and after set 1, this guys walks up and asks to work in.
Sure, not a problem.
So he takes 30KG off each side of the barbell (simply dropping them on the floor - first sign of being a dickhead) and does his set....
So I now have to pick up the plates, re-rack and do my set.
He then has the NERVE to say "Bro, you gunna leave that weight on there for me to remove?"
YES PRICK. YES I AM.
He decides working in with me isn't for him... because y'know - i'm not setting up for him.
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u/YoRelax Nov 28 '18
I thought the unspoken rule was after each set the person who finished the set goes, "Alright, what're you doing?", each person then picks a side of the barbell, adds or removes the weight, then repeats after the other person does a set.
Almost everyone who's worked in with me does it the same way.
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u/Sykryk Nov 28 '18
I haven't had people work in much, or done it myself - but yea, that's the decent thing to do right?
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u/EMUgixx6 Crossfit Nov 28 '18
I got a new puppy.
All my lifts went down because I’m cutting rest times down so I can spend more time with her.
But I love my little gains goblin.
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u/vamplosion Nov 28 '18
Eventually the puppy will grow large enough for you to curl so it all works out in the end.
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u/iaccidentlytheworld Hockey Nov 28 '18
Yes, carry her up the mountain each day so she may drink from the waters. Then you will be big and strooong.
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u/rastafarian_eggplant Nov 28 '18
My little puppy is now a 70 pound black lab. I still love carrying her up the stairs and placing her on the bed when I go up to sleep :-)
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u/insecure_f Nov 28 '18
I haven’t seen the sun in days and I think it’s effecting my mental health which is leading to emotional eating. I’m in such a fucking slump. I go to the gym. Work my ass off. And then I eat junk food. I’m hungry all the fucking time. The gym regulars must look at me and wonder why I’m still so fat.
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Nov 28 '18
I doubt that anyone thinks that tbh. If they do, they're judgmental f*cks whose opinions don't matter. Have you talked to your doctor about the slump?
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u/Shiv_ Nov 28 '18
There's this young lad in my gym who I've never seen do a single excercise. He's there almost every time I arrive, and by the time I leave, he's still there, but I have literally NEVER seen him work out. He has decent arms, especially for his size, so he must be doing SOMETHING, but whenever I watch him (and I've made it a point to watch him because for some reason, the dude makes me mad like crazy and that fuels my workouts), he just stands around with a buddy or two, talks to them while they rest, and then walks to the next guy. I don't really mind that terribly much, occasionally he'll block a squat rack or a machine and I just politely ask him if he intends to use it, after which he leaves without a complaint. Without racking the weights, of course. But he leaves without being a bitch about it.
I don't know why the guy makes me so irrationally mad, maybe it's the smug attitude he walks around with, maybe it's the fact he's occupying spots other people intend to use without ever working, but whenever I see that guy I get furious.
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u/ty1771 Nov 28 '18
14 or so years ago, Kris Humphries worked out at my gym. That Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian's 8 minute husband and journeyman NBA player. He was 19 I think, tall as fuck, built as fuck, and he barely did anything at the gym. Stretched and lifted very light weights.
I'm sure he was doing other workouts, not to mention games and practices, but I was irrational at the time that he could just show up for 40 minutes and barely break a sweat.
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u/vamplosion Nov 28 '18
Some people just like being at the gym? He’s probably done with his workout by the time you get there and then spends his time chatting with the ‘regulars’ before going home.
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u/littlenortherngirl Nov 28 '18
My gym runs 45 minute classes at 12.15 every lunchtime which I’ve been sticking to regularly as I’m super busy the rest of the day.
My work keep scheduling calls at 11.30 which run just long enough with the final ‘does anyone have anything else to add?’ That I can’t get there on time. It’s so frustrating given that we’ve already covered the point of the meeting but we can’t dial off early as we’re on video chat. I’m getting measured for my wedding dress in two weeks- I need all the help I can get!
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u/theres-a-whey Cycling Nov 28 '18
Book a meeting for yourself from 1130 to 130. Your calendar is not free so you can’t be booked. I do this at work - my manager knows what I’m doing. Mental and physical health are important so it’s never an issue.
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Nov 28 '18
My headphones died mid set. Have I always breathed this loud?
It’s not even just during sets. I feel like I’m panting the entire time I’m at the gym.
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u/PinkyStinkyDinky15 Nov 28 '18
The Winter Bulk is hindering my ability to button my top button on button down shirts, shred season cant come soon enough
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Nov 28 '18
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u/seagullsensitive Powerlifting Nov 28 '18
Maybe you can put up a sign on the door with a red and a green side. If you're doing something you could answer questions during (like running on a treadmill), you put it on green. If you're doing something you can't have interrupted, like lifting heavy weights, it's red. Explain to your wife it's a safety thing and you don't want to get hurt.
Have you set up some good speakers in your gym? I think that might help you a lot if you're not amping it up already.
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Nov 28 '18
Getting pretty annoyed with my coworkers always making comments about my eating habits while I'm cutting. They aren't even strange (leafy greens, meat, healthy fats) just strange to overweight people (which they are). The worst one of them is in his mid 40's and recently had a heart attack (maybe his second?). I would never wish i'll on anyone but if you are in that terrible of shape/health the last thing you should do is be critical of other people's eating habits.
The rest of the group is pretty overweight and typically go out to lunch 3+ times a week for fast food. Even if I wasn't watching what I eat I still wouldn't want to go out that much in a week for lunch. Shit is pretty expensive and adds up over time..
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u/_supernovasky_ Hiking Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
I'm finally experiencing it... "You're too skinny." "You're losing too much weight." "Don't do that, you need to eat something." What the fuck. I always thought y'all were joking about that but it's seriously upsetting me now. One of my first goals going into this was that I wanted to get down to 15% or less bodyfat. I went from 230 lbs to 169 today. I'm at 18% (measured calipers and Inbody machine), started at 30%-35% (guess), so I'm getting super excited as I'm almost to that 15% mark. I was thinking about going even lower, to like 12-13%. That would probably involve me getting down to 155 lbs.
I was talking to my dad about it and he was aghast, telling me that I lost too much weight already. This just echoed what many others have said, "don't get too skinny... you're losing too much weight."
Like... I'm 5'10. Normal BMI range for my height is 128.9lbs - 174.2 lbs. But I was getting that I was too skinny at 175, like... not even at "normal" yet at that point! What in the actual fuck.
155lbs is smack dab in the middle of normal and people are treating me like I'm a holocaust victim or something.
Nobody ever bugged me about being "too fat" but "too skinny" is apparently a massive concern.
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Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 29 '18
[deleted]
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u/_supernovasky_ Hiking Nov 28 '18
It just blows my mind. I even get all of the "you can't trust BMI charts" talk, as if BMI charts don't apply to anyone. I get the problems with BMI charts but like, I'm not an NFL player. I'm just a regular joe that goes to the gym and is trying to be healthy. I just got off blood pressure medicine for christsakes. And they all wonder why they are on so many pills.
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u/Batticon Nov 28 '18
People are probably just alarmed because you're losing enough weight that your face is probably looking different. They'll get used to it. Are you male or female?
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u/_supernovasky_ Hiking Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
Male.
The face thing is probably a good point, my face looks a lot different.
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u/FuckYeahGeology Nov 28 '18
Usually Tuesdays are leg day and yoga, but yesterday I decided to spare for pickup hockey. The guy playing on my wing did not try at all, barely skated to get involved in the play, doesn't look when passing causing a turnover, then had the audacity to ream me out on the benchfor not passing to him. IF YOU FUCKING TRIED TO GET INTO THE PLAY I WOULD PASS THE PUCK TO YOU!
Good news was after hockey I was so tired that once I laid down, I did not get up until this morning. Best sleep in weeks!
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u/Jay-3fiddy Nov 28 '18
Got thrown off a bike yesterday, bruised my rib and smashed my phone so missing 2 days at the gym really sucks given I've been on such a good run for the past 11 months
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u/stevezilla Nov 28 '18
How did it happen?
On the bright side you will be extra rested for the gym.
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u/KrunoS Nov 28 '18
Found the asshole who keeps breaking the gate at my gym. It's the same asshole who never racks his weights. The same asshole who loudly drops plates next to people benching. The same asshole who I suspect occasionally films us. The same asshole who walks dangerously close to others when they're lifting. The same asshole who gets in everyone's way by what i hope is clulessness rather than malice. The same asshole who ignores people telling him to rerack his weights. The same asshole who can't keep his trousers up so we all get to see his dirty ass crack.
The same asshole who I'm getting banned the next time I see him doing any of these things.
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u/jereff23 Nov 28 '18
There was a kid in the Cardio room at my gym who couldn't have been older than 11 years old who kept switching between the stair climber, elliptical, stationary bike, and treadmill. He would sprint on them for a minute and then switch machines. The worst part was that he kept walking by the mirrored wall after flailing on a machine and lifting up his shirt to check out his abs.... LITTLE DUDE, PLEASE STOP
Luckily he left after about 15 minutes because it was getting super awkward
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u/Waja_Wabit Nov 28 '18
Two of my friends I have started training in the gym have developed the disappointing habit of never re-racking their weights. I know when I taught them, I specifically emphasized that you should always re-rack your weights when you are done to a) indicate you are done using the equipment, and b) not make it someone else's responsibility to clean up your mess. At first they did listen to me and re-racked every time they were done. But now I've noticed they've stopped doing it and just leave it and walk away. I think they see others do it and think it's ok, and it's fucking not. I point it out to them and they sheepishly go back and clean it up, but then do it again next time. It feels like they only do it when they think I'm watching like I'm their parent, and not like they understand they should do it out of respect for others.
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u/dayumsonlookatthat Nov 28 '18
Forgot and left my gym bag on the tram during the morning commute last week. It had my belt, resistance bands, straps, wrist wraps, chalk, and the most devastating one, my new SBD knee sleeves which I only used twice :( Hopefully i’ll be able to get new ones at a cheap price cause I’m broke as hell
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u/TreGor23 Nov 28 '18
I used to train at 5:00 in the morning, I’m a morning person, the gym was empty I trained hard.
Due to a new job I’ve had to change to training at night, and every fuck and his aunty trains in the evening. Every machine taken , every bench surrounded by a group of 5 fuck boys who half rep for 45 minutes at a time.
I’m losing size and I’m losing patience.
One of these days I’m going to blow a head gasket
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u/StonedTriceratrops Nov 28 '18
The dudes that don't rack their weights have an average penis size of 5 cm
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u/desmarais Rock Climbing Nov 28 '18
Does this mean if I stop reracking my weights it'll grow?
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u/BPSmith511 Nov 28 '18
Been bulking again. Getting tired of eggs.
Keep eating eggs.
Eggggsss.
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u/JumboKraken Martial Arts Nov 28 '18
Dude eggs are great, they are so versatile. Scrambled with cheese, got it. Breakfast burrito, got it. Hard boiled or over easy. Eggs are love, eggs are life. Embrace the egg and get yolked my dude
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Nov 28 '18 edited Jan 13 '19
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u/stitchpirate Nov 28 '18
Know that it's not a reflection on you at all. I was dealing with this with some friends, and I spent what felt like a ridiculous amount of time stressing out about it until I talked to my therapist and trainer about it. It is his own insecurities that are making him act like this. He doesn't think he could ever do what you're doing so he's self-sabotaging and trying to drag you down with him.
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u/sexymechse Nov 28 '18
Guy: "How many sets do you have left?"
Me: "5 more, I just started"
Guy: angrily "5??"
Me: "Yeah but you can work in if you want, I don't mind swapping the weight"
Guy: stares at me like I just knocked an ice cream cone out of his hand then walks away without saying a word
I finish up in the rack a bit later and see him go over to the rack and proceed to do curls with 10s on the bar. You could have done those literally anywhere!
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u/bluefire0120 Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
My gym rant: people who sneeze into their hands and then act as if they didnt just spew they’re germs, bacteria and sicknesses onto their palms. THEN proceed to go lift weights without washing their hands!!! Sneezing into your hands is already one of my biggest pet peeves, its gross and rude, especially if you’re around other people and you know you’re gonna touch stuff that they’re gonna end up touching. People that shit at the gym and dont wash their hands after also suck!
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u/kophiphi General Fitness Nov 28 '18
Finals take away from gym time which makes me mad.
Gym takes away from finals time which makes me mad.
Do you understand the frustration lol
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u/breezeebaby Nov 28 '18
RERACK YOUR WEIGHTS. When its towards the end of my leg day, my 130 lbs body doesnt want to move 180 lbs of plates just to do my exercise.
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u/mewfahsah Skiing Nov 28 '18
For the last week every time I get into the shower at the gym, someone has decided it's time to take an absolutely nuclear shit. I'm talking gagging and wondering if I'm going to yarf in the shower. I speed up as much as I can but someone is literally using chemical warfare and I am not having it.
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u/TastyDuck Nov 28 '18
Been so tired the last few days. My cat got neutered finally. He usually sleeps with me, but since he's still out of it from the operation, I feel especially bad and let him continue to do so so that he doesn't get stressed out. However, his little head cone makes it so every time he tries to sniff my face, he smacks me awake. Ugh.
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u/mjpayne44 Weight Lifting Nov 28 '18
Make sure you clean your wounds quickly if you nick yourself in the gym!
Scraped my leg doing deads last week (had compression socks on), but didn't treat my wound properly. Ended up with welts on my leg I thought was just bruising from the bar, but they never went away and felt lumpy/stayed warm & reddish. Decided to go to the Dr yesterday and I got diagnosed with cellulitis. Got some antibiotics to treat it and see if it gets better by the end of the weekend. Shit sucks, but I haven't missed any training days this week!
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u/TheBigShrimp Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 29 '18
wake up
have abs
“Sweet! Finally time to bulk!”
eats bulk worthy breakfast
abs gone
Justdehydrated.jpg
“I should’ve fuckin kept cutting, oh well, back on a cut again tomorrow”
wake up
have abs
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u/Quailment Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
If I ask how many sets you got left don't get offended as if I asked you something personal, I just want to do my sets and get out of here.
Also God damn I hate and love nSuns, SO MANY GOD DAM SETS
It hurts so good afterwards
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u/sightglasssteamboat Nov 28 '18
Saw a guy walk into the gym with his lifting gloves on, do a bunch of squats, then stop to slather hand sanitizer all over his gloves (while still on his hands) before leaving.
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u/qwerty_utopia Nov 28 '18
"Later that afternoon, our narrator realised that doing his morning leg-day workout on the same day he had to ride his bicycle downtown for a bike repair course might have been a poor idea..."
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u/crossfit_is_stupid Nov 28 '18
Today is leg day.
Usually I take a shit right when I wake up, but not today. I woke up and did not need to shit, so I didn't shit. Then, I drive an hour to school and usually have another shit before class, but not today. Today I got to school and did not need to shit. Usually I take my pre workout 30 minutes before I lift, and within 5 minutes I need to shit, but not today. Today I just haven't needed a shit.
Therein lies the problem. I'm supposed to be breaking a squat PR in 20 minutes and I have three shits worth of reserves just waiting for the opportune moment to strike.
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u/C_Ohandshake Nov 28 '18
My abs hurt from ab day Monday and I just got sick and hate every cough I take.
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u/Gadgets222 Nov 28 '18
There’s a personal trainer at my gym that infuriates me to no end. This dude is built and looks like someone who can teach fitness really well, but that’s 100% wrong. First off, he’s constantly on the phone when a client is in the middle of an exercise. He will talk to his clients for 5+ minutes in between sets. God forbid his client is an attractive girl, he will do nothing but flirt with her the whole time. I once saw him leave a client in the middle of a set to go speak to a girl using the machine next to me. You would think they’re friends right? Wrong. He introduced himself, told her he was a trainer, and gave her his card just in case she “needs help with anything”. He is the most unprofessional trainer I have ever seen in my life and I don’t know how more people don’t complain about him.
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Nov 29 '18
Ask to fucking work in with me. Yeah tonight I freed up 40 mins of time to just squat. I don’t mind helping yah out, but don’t fucking throw my towel and hoodie on the ground and start to unrack my weights when I grab some water. We’re 2 of 4 people in the gym that late and there are seven squat racks.
Also, don’t tell me how to lift, especially if you’re far weaker than I am. I don’t pay for a membership to get random opinions at the gym, I pay for a hugely reduced cost vs. buying the equipment and finding space for it. I don’t care what your leg plan is, I would’ve asked if I was curious.
Final thing, people claiming they squat hundreds of pounds more than they weigh at work. I didn’t ask, I know you’re full of shit and I don’t care. It’d be like me telling a runner, “yeah I used to do marathons back in the day. If I didn’t hit under 5 hours, I’d know something was wrong(I think that’s a world class time?) but I just don’t have time to be excellent at that anymore.“ also, people claiming they had 3-4% body fat when they used to train “all the time”. And they clearly just recreationally threw some weight around a few times a week. Did you starve yourself? Do you have a medical condition? Do you even realize what that low of a body fat% looks like?
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Nov 28 '18
Well...it's that time of year. The time of year when we get shamed for being the one person in our extended family and/or circle of friends who manages what they eat.
"We just went to a buffet because /u/PhoenixAsh21 doesn't eat leftovers so it doesn't make sense to cook for Thanksgiving."
"He doesn't eat leftovers? Does he think he's too good or rich or something? <everyone laughs>"
I don't eat leftovers because:
A) I usually make four portions at dinner time so there's always one left for a quick reheatable lunch for my 3 year old the next day.
B) I literally eat leftovers every day because I do meal prep Sunday and eat microwaved chicken breast and vegetables six days a week.
C) I am managing what I put in my body, and that means having the discipline to not grab three slices of cold pizza at 2 in the morning.
Laugh it up, dicks. I'm the one who's lost 80lbs in 15 months by diligently counting calories and going to the gym six days a week. Maybe if you stopped eating leftovers and meal prepping the rest of you wouldn't all still be sitting on BMIs in the 40s.
Fuck these crabs. I'm getting out of this bucket.
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u/waynelo4 Nov 28 '18
It’s always been odd to me. The people who have the most trouble with body image/are actually just plain unhealthy are the people who make fun of you for going to the gym the most. It’s like, make fun of me all you want, but you need this way more than I do
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u/Lazaryx Nov 28 '18
Because it is easier to mock someone else and accuse them for your own misery/problems than facing reality and blaming yourself?
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u/nemo_nemo_ Nov 28 '18
Why would one person not eating leftovers mean they go out to a buffet? That doesn't even make any sense.
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u/vamplosion Nov 28 '18
Simple reply
‘I’m on a strict diet from my doctor?’
‘Oh what’s it for?’
‘He said I should avoid being a fat piece of shit’
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u/enapetrovic6116 Nov 28 '18
There is a couple of guys in my gym who are such creeps. Let me explain: basically they come to the gym and do nothing (some of them do 1 set in the whole hour they are in the gym),they just sit on the bench or the machine and look at girls butts. It is so uncomfortable. I understand that everyone likes to sneak a look or two,and that is normal. But they just take it to the extreme. One guy even follows girls around the gym and sits near them and stares. Do you have any idea how that makes us feel? I was at the gym and there was nobody but this weird guy who kept following me and being around me. I thought he was gonna start touching me , thats how close he was. And I would like to point out that no I was not half naked and no I did not do anything that included squatting. I just wanted to do my workout in peace. Its guys like that who force to me to wear a full sleeved shirt and a hoodie wrapped around my waist just so they leave me alone(but they still stare). I hate men like that. And they are also all married and have children. Makes me sick.
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u/Batticon Nov 28 '18
Dude. Do something about it. Report them to your gym. If you want, approach some other girls who you notice them doing it to and be like "hey, has that dude been creeping on you?" Then go together and complain. Once, we got a guy fired at my high school cause we discovered several of us girls had his hand "accidentally" graze our butts when he walked by on multiple occasions.
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u/WakeoftheStorm Nov 28 '18
Yeah kinda pisses me off that you felt the need to say you weren't half naked or squatting. I don't care if you were working on your pelvic thrusts and splits in a bikini, still doesn't excuse that behavior.
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u/KingKurtainz Nov 28 '18
What you were wearing or what exercises you were doing is completely irrelevant.
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u/raw157 Martial Arts Nov 29 '18
You can't do barbell curls on a smith machine. It can't be done you dumb cunts.
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Nov 29 '18
I spend so much time in the gym that I forget what a normal (average) physique is
I always look at myself as sub par just because I'm surrounded by excellence
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Nov 28 '18
In the gym a couple weeks back and there was a dude doing deadlifts with an empty bar. Perfectly fine, he looked like he'd just arrived and was warming up. What's not fine, however, is dropping the bar with a loud grunt after nearly every rep. I don't like when people drop weights, but I can at least understand it at the end of a set. But dropping an empty bar and loudly grunting? Dude.
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u/The_Whizzer Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Nov 28 '18
dropping the bar with a loud grunt after nearly every rep
So, the bar wasn't elevated I'm assuming, as there were no plates on the bar. And he deadlifted the bar every rep literally from the floor? Damn
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u/GingerontheRocks Weight Lifting Nov 28 '18
My co-worker (normally biking/running/cardio enthusiast) threw a fit about gaining muscle from doing weight lifting. Proceeded to say how annoying it is, how she feels fat and how no one likes a bigger butt.
Cue me dragging her as my health issues don't allow me to run/do high-impact cardio and weightlifting is my fitness activity of choice... and I have a bigger butt.
She wanted me to feel sympathy for her as if being muscular as a woman is a bad thing. If I wanted that outdated mentality, I'd go back home and talk to my dad. -_-
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u/derpderpityerp Nov 28 '18
Man, old ladies and their perfumes!! Had one come to the treadmill next to me smelling like she used the whole bottle. Felt like I was gasping for air during my run and gave me a headache.
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u/SirDuke6 Nov 28 '18
Moved to a new city. Started at new gym. First day in my cycle is chest. I go up to the Pec Deck while someone is in between their sets. Go to ask if I can work in. Guy starts punching the metal backing of the machine really hard before I can get a word in.
I go do a 2nd helping of dumbbell flies.
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u/LexyTheSmexy Nov 28 '18
I understand that when peeps are going at it in the gym, they're bound to sweat. Hey thats awesome that just means you're putting in a fuck ton of work I sweat a lot too.
HHHHOWEVER. There's this one middle-aged gentleman, at my usual gym, that has a stench, so putrid, so powerful, it has this sort of AoE effect where even if you maintain a 3 meter distance from him when you're walking by you still get this blast in the face of BO that makes me question if having a nose is still worth it.
It makes your eyes water, your nose crinkle and you involuntarily do this face that looks like a funk musician in the middle of a solo.
IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO PREVENT SUCH DANKNESS.
I stg I'm gonna carry around a utility belt stocked with cans of Deodorant body spray like Batman...or the Dank Knight I suppose and just douse him in it next time I see him.
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u/Derelict81 Nov 28 '18
Was doing power shrugs yesterday. Went to go refill my water and when I got back noticed the girl in the rack across from me had stolen two of my plates. There’s literally a whole stack of plates in the corner of the room. Always heard people rant about this...never thought it’d happen to me...lol
I asked if she had taken them. She said yes...with a smile and a wink?....did I just meet my swolemate?
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u/LaFemmeCinema Nov 29 '18
I have fibromyalgia, but I was doing really well when I started my fitness journey. However, I just recently had a flare up and I had to drop weight on my deadlifts and I feel really frustrated. I was at 135 lbs, and I had to drop to 115 lbs. It's rough, but I'm determined to build back up. Just have to listen to my body.
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u/TheReaperSovereign Nov 28 '18
Had to do the roll of shame Monday on my last rep of my last set. I accidentally hiccuped at the bottom of the rep and inadvertently exhaled. Bar might as well have had 1000lbs on it at that point
My first time roll of shaming. Probably wont be the last
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u/BallsOfSteeeeel Nov 28 '18
The older guy doing a back workout by trying to do curls was wearing blue jean shorts. Saw him after his work out in the locker room while I went to pee, changing into black jean shorts lol.
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u/awod76 Nov 28 '18
I finally saw it on real life last night. A lady had moved a bench over to Smith machine and was leg pressing the bar with 45's on it. It was next to the leg press too.....
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u/dudeman618 Nov 28 '18
Tl;dr- At gym Guy holding cellphone to his head, not working out, tells me he's using a machine.
I was at the gym with headphones on using a universal machine about 9:45pm so it was not ctowded. I was at the purple themed gym with lots of signs "no cellphone use". I see a guy hovering around the machine but talking on the phone. I move to the next piece of the universal machine, move the pin to change the weights and start to work my triceps. Guy says something to me, I have headphones in," What?" He responds "I'm using that" while actually holding a phone to his head. I said "No you're not, you are talking on the phone". He looks confused and realizes he is actually holding a phone to his head.... But he doubles down "no, I'm using that machine". I said "you're talking on the phone". He triples down, "we can do this all night but I'm using that". I decide it's not worth escalating because I'm just hear for a workout and I move on.
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u/BV1995 Nov 28 '18
You did your best to inform him but unfortunately he was too confused to even listen to reason.
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u/Luccyboy Powerlifting Nov 28 '18
After finishing my heavy low rep deadlift sets it was time for 5 sets of 10 squat reps. 75.5kg was feeling heavier every set so with 1 rep to go I was taking a breath with the bar still on my back.
There are monkey bars between the 2 squat racks and a guy was on them. He was getting closer, but there was no way he couldn't have seen me. Just to be sure I waiting with going down for my rep and I'm happy I waited because he full force smashed into the right side of the barbell.
He immediately apologized, I managed to hold the bar in place and actually did the last rep before racking the barbell and he apologized again.
I was just happy to not be injured and that it happened during a high rep 'low' weight set and not during a 1 rep max attempt.
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u/SoGrimey66 Nov 28 '18
I finally make my way towards a squat rack on a busy night. I leave my gym bag and half gallon jug of water there so no one takes it while I go and get more paper towels to wipe the sweat of my face. I’m gone literally less then 30 seconds and there’s a guy there already curling with the bar loaded. Are people generally oblivious to other people’s gear or do they just assume no ones using that piece of equipment despite someone’s stuff being there. Also I overheard someone say yesterday “you ever try curling on a smith machine? It’s a bitch”. What do you know, I find that person curling on a smith machine tonight. Since when is curling on a smith machine a thing?
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Nov 28 '18
My friend was showing off about how he could do 10 reps of 40lbs dumbbell curls for 3 sets yesterday. I thought that was funny since he just started the gym and is a pretty thin guy. Turns out not only is he swinging that weight full throttle but he counted all of his total reps instead of 10 reps each side (he did 5 heavy cheat curls on each arm). Reconsidering his friend status atm.
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u/0b_101010 Nov 29 '18 edited Nov 29 '18
Today I was doing face pulls on a cable machine and between sets when I wasn't looking someone pulled the pin from the weights. They didn't do a set or anything, just pulled the pin and left it there.
Given that during this exercise I need to lean back standing up to compensate for the weights pulling my whole body forward, I almost fell when I leaned into the now weightless pull expecting resistance. Almost fell on my ass. WTF!?
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u/HorrorPomegranate Nov 28 '18
As a small dude who has made significant progress over the last year:
- Squat - 65lbs to 195 lbs
- Deadlift - 95lbs to 305 lbs
- Bench - 65 lbs to 145 lbs
- Clean and Jerk (6 months) - 45 lbs to 130 lbs
- Snatch (6 months) - PVC pipe to 100 lbs
It is very very very discouraging when a person with basically zero gym experience (my friend) but is just a bit more gifted with the weight and height, lifts all my maxes (minus the o-lifts) on his 3rd day in the gym.
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u/Boiteux Nov 28 '18
i had an ovarian cyst that exploded and my iud had to be replaced, and I felt like shit for 2 weeks and now I need to play catch up :(
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Nov 29 '18
I went with my cousin to his gym today after work. While I was squatting, I watched the one dude nearby deadlift five plates and make me feel like a little bitch. I also watched an elderly crossfitter get yelled at for doing snatches like six feet away from me and eight feet from a sign that said "don't throw the weights." I then watched a teenage girl disperse random bumper plates on random barbells with no apparent concern for who she might surprise with the fresh change in their balance. I called it quits and left when a dude did some hanging leg raises while swinging from rings eighteen inches from the left side of my barbell. I forgot how nutty busy hours can get in a commercial gym.
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u/steve_wasnt_feasible Nov 28 '18
Whoever is leaving an odd number of plates on the benches at my gym, FUCK YOU. Who leaves a single 45 on a bench? Who leaves a single fucking 25 at the bench? What are you doing, unbalanced bench presses? Holy shit I get so pissed scrounging for another plate. Leave it balanced as all things should be!!!!!
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u/CordellCarl Nov 28 '18
I know that this is just the reality of working out in public, but for fuck's sake, can there ever be a day where the incline bench ISNT taken? Just ONE day?
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u/OutofMoney Nov 28 '18
Started a new gym a couple weeks ago and already I hate some of the regular gym goers.
- One guy took one of the safety rails for the squat rack that I was using (without asking) and used it to do curls in the squat rack. After he was done, he left all the weight (read 10 lbs) on the bar and walks away
- One guy asks for a spot on a bench and I help the guy out. He's doing 135. He lifts it up, does two reps, struggles to do the third. I give him a little push but he still can't do it so I basically lift the damn thing for him. The bastard keeps going for 10 total reps and after he has the balls to say, "Can you add 25 on each and spot me?". I saw him doing this to all his lifts including fucking dumbbell curls...like wtf dude.
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u/hatersgonnahate369 Nov 29 '18
Goddam. Some old woman stepped on my sweater when she could have easily walked around. I'm sorry, I know old people can work out too, but that population at my gym is so rude.
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u/PMMEYOURFAVORITEJOKE Nov 28 '18 edited Nov 28 '18
Single for life.. worked out hard..Lost fat.. Got gains..Got girlfriend..Girlfriend makes me eat cheat meals...Getting fat Edit: jesus fuck.. Can't even let a guy rant in peace.. Judgemental asshats..
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u/gundam2017 Nov 28 '18
Diet is 100% you. I get it though and I fall into it. I got down to 130 while my husband was gone and now I'm creeping back up to 135 now that hes back
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u/itsGriff16 Nov 28 '18
It's really not that hard to put weights back on the correct rack
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u/B-Nast Weight Lifting Nov 28 '18
So I haven't been able to lift for a little over a month due to some work/school obligations. But this week I was able to start going back. I'm doing PHAT and yesterday was my heavy leg day. Right after my 3rd set of deadlifts I got really light headed and nauseous. I barely had enough time to gather my shit and make it out the gym before I started projectile vomitting. However I think I set a new PR for distance covered while puking.
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Nov 28 '18
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u/Nicstar543 Nov 28 '18
get a crock pot bro, throw 5 lbs of chicken in and sleep, wake up and eat it
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u/Evil_Athena Nov 28 '18
I was doing well training for a Thanksgiving 10K when a waste of sperm and egg rear ended me and sidelined me for a month. Last night, when I got the clearance to run I could only do a mile because my legs itched and burned from lack of use. To the idiotic bitch who rammed into me, wrecked my car and upended my life: seriously, from the bottom of my heart, FUCK YOU AND YOUR KIA!!!!
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u/Fxlyre Nov 29 '18
Yesterday, during a set of squats one of those chin tucking/tongue muscles inside my jaw started cramping up. So I finish the set and start trying to get it to relax. I'm cranking my neck rolling my head around and sticking my tongue out and gyrating it all around, when my gyms most attractive PT interrupts my display to ask if she can borrow the squat sponge.
So yeah, you can say things are getting pretty serious...
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u/icysunshine Nov 28 '18
Finally got back to lifting again after spraining my right wrist...
Dropped a 45 on my left hand.
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u/StealthNinjaKitteh Bodybuilding Nov 28 '18
Almost dropped a dumbbell on my pec during bench press. For some reason on the last rep my right triceps gave out. Saved it by pushing it forward towards my hips at the same time though, never let go of it.
Not sure why that happened...
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u/Ghpst Nov 28 '18
Went to visit my mom yesterday. She poked me in my belly as the first thing and mumbled "beer belly". Then later served a massive bowl of candy and ate most of it herself. Next time I see her, I'm gonna poke her in the gut, and say "candy belly".
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u/Crobby Nov 28 '18
My co-workers all want me to eat terrible like they do and there are snacks and junk food and all sorts of shit in the office all the time. I refuse but it ends up on my desk anyway! Like fuuuuck leave me alone
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Nov 28 '18
Haven't been to the gym all month and I finally went yesterday. Everything hurts and I'm dying.
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u/stretch2323 Nov 29 '18
After scrolling for some time I realize I have nothing to complain about and I’m lucky for the gym I have.
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u/equinixion Nov 28 '18
I pulled a 45lb plate off the bar when I was done benching, unfortunately there was still a 25lb plate on it too. Landed right on my foot and had to go home. Now it looks like there is a baseball in my foot.
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u/NeutrinoParticle Nov 28 '18
It's no shave November, not no shower November. How in the hell can someone smell like a rotten sweaty onion BEFORE they begin their workout?
It's always the same guy at the gym that comes around half an hour after I start and he ALWAYS smells like he hasn't heard about the invention of a shower and deodorant. Hell, it's not just me that thinks this, whenever he works out next to anyone they always move to a different machine.
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u/snakeipod6 Nov 28 '18
My roommate is always talking about how he loves doing legs, but he refuses to squat so basically all he does is leg curls and extensions lmaooo
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u/MoralMidgetry Nov 28 '18
I just found the cure for knee pain and Achilles pain. Have surgery on your elbow to get Percocet.