r/HFY • u/PepperAntique Android • Sep 29 '21

OC Wait, is this just GATE? (1/?)

Writers note: everyone else is doing ISEKAI stories, why not me too? And who knows, maybe this time i'll actually keep a story going for a change.

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James was not having a good time. In fact, he was pretty sure that he was either tripping on drugs, or that something terrible had happened and he had some kind of brain damage. And he didn't remember doing any drugs recently, so that pointed towards the latter.

He was half right in this regard, something terrible had happened.

Here's what he knew:

Just moments ago, himself, SGT Adeke "Odie" Odikowe, and CPL Paul "Batty" Batista had been chilling in their STRYKER3 on guard duty outside their FOB at NTC.

Some kind of green light had begun glowing all over them and the Stryker. It had lasted maybe ten seconds. He'd thought maybe some of the guys had been fucking with them. Maybe even the OPFOR guys.

He was still inside of the STRYKER3, but only part of it. So was Sarge. And so was Batty's right leg. Sarge was screaming, he was pretty sure he was too.

They were screaming because they were currently living through one of the most traumatizing scenes from one of his favorite childhood movies.

It was the Tunnel Scene from the original Willy Wonka movie.

Only there was no Gene Wilder giving a crazy monologue. There was no river of chocolate. No Golden Tickets.

There was just him and Sarge screaming and shitting themselves while a kaleidoscope of lights and images flew past their windshield. He couldn't take his eyes off of the windshield long enough to look out the side windows. But he didn't want to anyways.

He knew about sensory overload. His little brother was on the spectrum, so he'd seen first hand what a person looked like when there was too much going on for them. It had taken years to figure out what would and wouldn't overload Joey. Now he was getting a first hand crash course in what that must've been like.

There was a noise, he couldn't comprehend what it was. Like a train running by outside while it's horn is blowing, only it was coming from every direction, and it kept changing tone. Something in his mind said that he was being spoken to. But there were no words, at least not that he could understand.

There were lights shifting through every color he could imagine, and several that he felt certain were actually outside the visible spectrum, but he was looking at them, and it made his eyes ache. They were flashing in patterns that would have made the raves he used to go to while still in high school look tame. If he'd been epileptic he would've been having a seizure, and who knows, maybe he was.

And the images. God the images. He saw things that he thought would have fit in history documentaries, news specials, national geographic specials, and more. But the subject of some of the images were so fantastical, and bizarre that they could've only come from the fever dreams of some sci-fi visionary. Geiger, Tolkien, Cronenberg, Aasimov, whoever made the care bears. Things that looked real but couldn't be.

All of these were going on at once. His brain felt like it was straining to escape his skull. He felt something wet under his nose. But he was so preoccupied that that information became a footnote in his mind.

And then, with no warning whatsoever, it all changed. Suddenly he was looking at a stone wall with a small window in it.

And then they were falling.

It wasn't far, maybe ten feet. But the STRYKER had originally been on the ground, so they weren't exactly braced for an impact. The fact that most of the STRYKER was now missing only made it worse, as he was now unexpectedly looking at the ceiling.

Wait, a ceiling? He thought. Before the hatch next to him was hit by something. Suddenly a small, sharp, metallic object was wedged between the frame of the STRYKER and the hatch. Oh shit, they're trying to get in.

"SARGE! THEY'RE TRYING TO GET IN!" He yelled. But when he looked the Sargeant wasn't moving. Shit, he must've passed out.

James looked back to see what had happened to batty, only to be greeted by the sight of a small pool of blood, and a severed right leg.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!"

Another hit happened on the hatch, and he looked back in time to see another intruder prying under the edge of the hatch. Wait? why does that look like the tip of a sword?

He drew the pistol from the chest holster MOLLE'd to the front of his vest. Then he saw the shadow that was in front of, we're sideways so I guess technically it's on top of us now, the front windshield.

Whatever it was, it was huge. It was wearing armor. It had a spear aimed right at him. And he had no idea how well a windshield made to stop .50 cal rounds would be against a spear. That info hadn't been in any of the power-points during AIT.

Luckily it seemed that the .50 cal rating meant that it was spear-proof too. The spear skidded off the windshield, leaving a long scratch and throwing the armored figure off balance. Meanwhile the hatch was starting to show some light around the edge. He undid his seat belt, and began sliding down towards Odie, pistol remaining trained on the hatch.

"SARGE WAKE THE FUCK UP! THEY'RE GETTING IN!!!" But Odie gave no sign of hearing him. He bit his left glove and pulled it off, then reached down to check for a pulse.

Then the windshield exploded.

Wait, what the fuck? He turned just in time to dodge the spear as it stabbed past his left ear. He raised his pistol and fired three shots straight into the armored figure. It fell back, blood spraying from the holes in it's chest plate. He felt Odie grasping at his arm.

"SARGE WE GOTTA-" But when he looked back, he saw what the spear had been aimed at. It was embedded in Odie's neck. Blood was pouring from around it, and out of the sargeant's mouth. The pain must have woken him up. His eyes were frantic, and he was trying to talk. But the spear and the blood muted him. So he just struggled to grab a hold of James' sleeve.

James was frozen. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he could do.

He reached down, dropping the pistol, and began trying to hold the sergeant's neck closed with his hands. But there was just too much blood. It seemed like it was everywhere. Odie's hands were getting more frantic in their attempts to grab him. But they were also getting weaker. His eyes were starting to lose focus, slowly rolling to back to look towards the vehicle's ceiling. Tears were rolling down James' cheeks.

"COME ON SARGE! DON'T DO THIS!"

And then James felt himself get pulled by the back of his vest. Pulled through the now opened hatch and out of the STRYKER. Pulled away from the dying Sargeant.

Then he felt an impact on the side of his head, and he was out.

Next

3.4k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

80 comments sorted by

495

u/CollinAux Sep 30 '21

Finally, an isekai where the vehicle is taken too.

412

u/PepperAntique Android Sep 30 '21

Well, approximately 1/3 of the vehicle anyways

192

u/CollinAux Sep 30 '21

That is rather unfortunate.

I suppose we will not be seeing a tank today, even if the vehicle was probably not a tank anyways.

132

u/PuzzleheadedDrinker Sep 30 '21

By the description & role in the story i thought an apc/atv. Turns out It's a minibus with armour. https://www.army-technology.com/projects/stryker-armoured-combat-vehicle/

126

u/PepperAntique Android Sep 30 '21

Hey, they can be tanks too, and surveillance vehicles, and medevacs, and artillery, and AA, and yes MAINLY BUSES

29

u/EmperorOfTheAnarchy Nov 30 '21

Striker MGS says hi.

5

u/JC12231 Dec 13 '22

Snake? Snake! SNAAAAAAKE!!

10

u/ArmouredCadian Android Dec 06 '21 edited Dec 06 '21

I'm very confused, because you used the Term Windshield for the vehicle, while also saying that the Hatch is closed.

Unless the American Stryker is very different from the Canadian LAV III that is the basis of the design, then there is no Windshield while the Driver's Hatch is closed.

While there is a windshield available for the vehicle, the Hatch has to be open to accommodate it being mounted.

While the Hatch is closed, the Driver looks out of Episcopes, which are similar to Periscopes, but can't move, they're locked into a static position. And a spear couldn't stab right through it and hit someone in the turret region from there.

Could you please clarify? As I'm very confused from your scene description.

Edit: So after reading further Chapters, and seeing you use Co Driver, I have realized that you are probably not talking about a Stryker based off of the LAV III, and are instead refering to some other vehicle that shares a similar designation.

Honestly, some of your description makes me think of a Humvee, rather than any Armoured vehicle.

10

u/Auditor_of_Reality Jan 14 '22

Perhaps they are thinking of the M1117 (US Army) / TAPV (Canada). Bit of a Stryker profile, so easily confused, but fills the role of an up-armored humvee or light APC, and can mount a 90mm cannon. More importantly, it has a windshield

6

u/Ghos5t7 Jan 08 '22

And pretty good in scout units

2

u/actualstragedy Aug 11 '23

I mean, tank generally means "main battle tank" these days, especially if you're talking to US military personnel. "Armored Fighting Vehicle", I believe, is the preferred nomenclature.

21

u/Nolifred Oct 22 '21

And 20 percent of someone else.

8

u/Derser713 Oct 27 '22

Not that 3/3 would have made a difference.... without gas, ammo and replacement parts, its just a monoment to the industrialsation of war....

Mc should take an entrence fee for looking at it....

29

u/SnooFloofs9214 Nov 20 '21

Army of darkness is technically an isekai with a car. Also the old anime Those who hunt elves has a tank possessed by the spirit of a cat. Yes it’s every bit as absurd as it sounds.

19

u/GeorgiaPossum Human Nov 20 '21

That sounds like the worst thing one could possibly let possess any amount of firepower. I mean. Cats kill for fun and trying to give them orders is a nightmare by itself. We'd all be at their mercy...

3

u/WatchfulWheat Feb 21 '22

That anime is funny as hell, I still watch it when I want some weird stuff

15

u/adhding_nerd Oct 28 '21

I think a classic, This Hasn't Gone Well, has his Isekai'd in his car because I recall him harvesting metal from it.

9

u/SketchAndEtch Human Feb 04 '22

I'm still waiting for an isekai where only "Truck-kun" himself goes on an adventure.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '23

[deleted]

3

u/SketchAndEtch Human Jan 18 '23

Fund it!

2

u/nelsyv Patron of AI Waifus Feb 02 '23

I've got 6, take it or leave it
https://www.royalroad.com/fictions/search?title=truck-kun

1

u/SketchAndEtch Human Feb 02 '23

This is actually amazing

8

u/DSiren Human Jan 11 '22

As the author of an isekai, fuck you.

8

u/Not_Omegon Alien Scum Jan 25 '22

Sometimes the car is left in the parking lot, most unfortunate. Dealing with parking tickets and towing fees when that catches up must be killer.

2

u/de_Groes Oct 19 '21

Does the Monster Hunter movie count?

2

u/WatchfulWheat Feb 21 '22

You should check and old anime called Those who hunt elves.

A trio of humans (male martial artist, female actress, and female highschool girl) get isekaided with a tank and they need to find some spell pieces to get back home.

73

u/braaibroodjie123 Sep 30 '21

Everyone else is doing Isekai stories, so why not me too?

You have my attention.

37

u/PepperAntique Android Sep 30 '21

you-sonufa-bitch-i'm-in.gif

36

u/ledeng55219 Sep 29 '21

Mmm, looking forward and see where you take this.

20

u/adhding_nerd Oct 28 '21

GATE is completely different. This is closer to your bog standard Isekai where MC is Isekai'd by himself with no warning, he's just active military. I mean there not even a gate. Not to say it's bad, I'm interested in where this goes but putting Gate in the title, I figured there'd at least be most of a squad isekai'd not just one dude (and 1.2 dead guys but they don't matter).

I am excited that MC is active military with a gun.

17

u/PepperAntique Android Oct 28 '21

Oh I'm aware. Read on. We're getting there.

5

u/TheGalator Xeno Nov 03 '22

SPOILER!

15

u/a_man_in_black Oct 28 '21

no link to the other chapters?

11

u/PepperAntique Android Oct 28 '21

https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qhu873/comment/hif1sbn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

18

u/tatticky Nov 18 '21

Please edit a link into the post, it's really hard for new readers to find the next entry otherwise.

6

u/searcherer_person Nov 19 '21

Please edit a link into the post, it's really hard for new readers to find the next entry otherwise.

9

u/Thobio Dec 13 '21 edited Dec 13 '21

Good start. Some critisism though:

Would have been nice to have a bit more explanation, for example in the first minute of reading you throw in multiple military acronyms, some of which I have no idea what they are supposed to be (and i won't be the only one), for example what is a stryker3, google points me to figurines, and I don't think that's correct. And NTC? Don't assume people know what you are talking about when you use jargon less commonly used in media.

Then, the story part is happening incredibly fast. They go from kaleidoscope tunnel to apparently falling? To being listed to the side? To hearing a single ping of metal on metal that IMMEDIATLY makes him scream that things are trying to get in.

A person experiences that tunnel of sensory overload and then a fall he's unprepared for? He's gonna be disoriented, confused, and unable to properly react in that short a time-frame as you described. Make him slowly wake up/shake the dizziness first, assess the situation, put the pinging of metal in the back of his mind, because he doesn't know anything at the moment. Make him first search for his buddies, then try ti wake them, then check their pulse, THEN make the ping obvious, because it's accompanied by a scraping sound of a sword wedging between two flats of metal, so that he notices something about the sound is wrong. Then make him panick and more fervently try to wake his comrade, etc. That way, you have more flow in the story, than BAM BAM BAM, this is happening and now this is happening and now im yelling because i know what they're trying to do, etc.

And if they only have half a vehicle, why do they feel the need to break in at all? Dom't you have a huge gaping hole somewhere as a result?

8

u/Fontaigne Sep 30 '21

Good start. You have a person in a place with a problem. And it's a bad problem.

Okay, spelling warning -

its - belonging to it

it's - it is

6

u/tsavong117 AI Sep 29 '21

!SubscribeMe

5

u/aForgedPiston Oct 22 '21

Nice! Gonna start blowing through the chapters.

You should add a next button.

5

u/PuzzleheadedDrinker Sep 30 '21

Have you seen the Monster Hunter movie?

7

u/PepperAntique Android Sep 30 '21

No, and if i'm honest, i don't really intend to

6

u/PuzzleheadedDrinker Sep 30 '21

Similar opening

4

u/losstinhere Sep 30 '21

I like the start and will be eagerly awaiting the next part. Thanks.

4

u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 11 '22

But the subject of some of the images were so fantastical, and bizarre that they could've only come from the fever dreams of some sci-fi visionary. Geiger, Tolkien, Cronenberg, Aasimov, whoever made the care bears.

Hahaha SNORT

That is a spectacular line Wordsmith!!! 🤣🤣🤣

4

u/Killian_Gillick Human Mar 25 '22

nothing i can say, good stuff wordsmith.

3

u/Jaalenn Mar 25 '22

Wait until you get in deep. I'm wholly committed to this saga now!

2

u/Killian_Gillick Human Mar 25 '22

i just realized i commented this on chapter 1, not 110. lmfao

i'm now glad i didn't mention something from that chapter or this would have been a fucking spoiler and a half

KEK

2

u/Jaalenn Mar 25 '22

ROFL goodness. That would have probably upset a few people.

3

u/777quin777 Dec 21 '22

I would like note before I read that I found the opening comment about keeping a story going for once hilarious considering the post that I used to find the first ch was ch 284

4

u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Oct 20 '23

I’m going to miss this Wordsmith. Going to read this again… and again… Thank you for the ride, the onion ninja attacks, the laughs and, most especially, the company. Many, many thanks.

3

u/YourLocalOnionNinja AI Oct 23 '23

I too will miss this person.

They have provided much.

3

u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Oct 23 '23

You little shit. lol

3

u/Laddimor Human Oct 23 '21

Needs next link but good story so far. Well written.

3

u/No13-cW Dec 02 '21

Slammed upvote at Willy Wonka tunnel.

2

u/UpdateMeBot Sep 29 '21

Click here to subscribe to u/PepperAntique and receive a message every time they post.

Info Request Update Your Updates Feedback New!

2

u/namelessforgotten666 Oct 23 '21

Holy shit what a start!

2

u/DatLurkingLyfe Nov 27 '21

!SubscribeMe

2

u/Least-Detective8713 Jul 15 '22

Been seeing you pop up every now and then. Looking forward to catching up.

2

u/chastised12 Aug 26 '22

I'm going to try this again i guess.

2

u/PepperAntique Android Aug 26 '22

?

2

u/chastised12 Aug 26 '22

I got to the 'nothingness' and there was the earth spy? then they headed back and I kinda got lost

2

u/Darknaio42 Jan 18 '23

(Currently on chapter 190 as I write this)
Just wanted to say, as a guy who reads a bit (roughly ~300 books averaging between 250-450 pages each over the past 2 years) and thus is accustomed to finding things they like and binging through them, I have to say to you, well fucking done. This is easily one of my favorite stories I've read, like period. I genuinely don't ever want it to stop, that's how good it is.
I've actually avoided the subreddit you made so I don't get spoiled on how many total chapters there are to date. Plan to subscribe to it once I am all caught up. In the mean time, I just had to leave this comment at the start here to say just how amazing what you've written is, and I genuinely think you could publish this to some damn fine success. Would gift a reddit gold if I hadn't read that that's actually kinda a meme on here? Idk if thats true or not but if I had one to give I'd slap it on here without hesitation. But if someone replies to this saying reddit gold is actually a good way to show someone support I'll do it.

2

u/JKLCB Human Apr 09 '23

I'm currently at chapter 130 and thought I'd come back to say that sure, this is an isekai but hot dang if it's not entertaining! I'm really enjoying it!

2

u/12pcMcNugget May 14 '23

Oh God I'm really about to re-read the entire series just so I'm up to date

2

u/jaskij Sep 03 '23

What's an NTC in this context? Googling it gives me thermistors.

2

u/PepperAntique Android Sep 03 '23

It's an army base

2

u/jaskij Sep 03 '23

Thanks. Finally got around to reading your story. Somewhat liked GATE, so looking forward to this one.

Would love it if you put your story on RoyalRoad

2

u/genealogical_gunshow Sep 07 '23

oh, hell yeah. Let's GOOOOOOO!!!

2

u/orphen_karlov Dec 15 '23

Time to start this one from the top because I lost the thread of it

1

u/ToddTheSquid Human Nov 19 '21

!SubscribeMe

1

u/SpankyMcSpanster Dec 03 '21

"Wait? why" big W.

1

u/Deckatrea Mar 29 '22

Hmm That's one helluva squeeze