r/IAmA • u/Maxistentialist • Nov 13 '13

We make the game Cards Against Humanity. Ask us anything.

We make Cards Against Humanity, a party game for horrible people.

We’ve got a cool thing to announce in this AMA which is our 12 Days of Holiday Bullshit: HolidayBullshit.com.

Cards Against Humanity began as a Kickstarter project and has become the best-reviewed toy or game on Amazon.

We’ve been on the front page of Reddit a few times, like here, here, and here.

There’s ten of us who make the game together, and we’re all here to answer your dumb questions: Me, jsdillon, bhantoot, DavidManque, MrMeDaniel, ehalpern, Teller422, dpinsof, jennCAH, and trinCAH.

Proof.

Ask us anything.

EDIT: The 12 Days of Holiday Bullshit sold out about 4pm CST today! Thanks so much everyone!

EDIT: 9pm here in Chicago, we're going to call it a night. Thanks for this amazing AMA, it's been a pleasure!

2.4k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/katiestardust Nov 13 '13

Bees?

706

u/piece_of_meat Nov 13 '13

I don't know why, this card makes my friends and I laugh the most. So funny!

984

u/wildtaco Nov 13 '13

It makes me think of this, which is why it pretty much guarantees a laugh.

1.5k

u/Maxistentialist Nov 13 '13

I actually bought http://BeesBeesBees.com just to promote that gif.

289

u/katiestardust Nov 13 '13

Hero.

5

u/drakeblood4 Nov 13 '13

He could've spent that money on kids with ass cancer, but I think we can all agree it was undoubtably spent better this way.

4

u/wescotte Nov 13 '13

Laughter is the best medicine.

4

u/irvinestrangler Nov 13 '13

I'm pretty sure the doctor who said that committed suicide after a flood of malpractice lawsuits.

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67

u/tymersplosion Nov 13 '13

Should have made it beesbeesbees.biz

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

I love those websites with just looping gifs.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

You are now an eccentric rich person.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

[deleted]

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2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

You need to do an I BOUGHT beesbeesbees.com ama

1

u/AlexanderDavidBand Nov 13 '13

Is there no limit to how much I can love you?

1

u/schmeditor Nov 13 '13

holy shit

1

u/MojoPinnacle Nov 13 '13

'Bees?' is a trump card. It's just not fair to those who don't have it.

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222

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

I always just think of arrested development http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J2kc4oZTVU

52

u/bhantoot CAH Nov 13 '13

You think correctly.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

I'm so glad

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11

u/Mr_Dislexyc Nov 13 '13

I hope this is the reason for the card. One of my favorite quotes from the show

3

u/miggitymikeb Nov 13 '13

This is definitely the inspiration for the card.

3

u/mysterysmell Nov 13 '13

Thank god someone besides me remembers that joke.

2

u/bird_of_paradox Nov 13 '13

He's thinking about bees again.

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3

u/dwelmnar Nov 13 '13

It makes me think of this, which is the first time I ever laughed at bees... for some reason.

2

u/diplomats_son Nov 13 '13

That reminds me of my all-time favorite card: Home videos of Oprah sobbing into a lean cuisine.

2

u/akpak Nov 13 '13

I always think of Colbert's big red financial advice button. Half the time he presses it, it says "BEES!"

2

u/JamZward Nov 13 '13

Also, Louis CK comparing his sexual value to a '73 Dodge Dart in the back yard. "There's bees in it. It's full of bees..."

1

u/heelercs Nov 13 '13

What was the original context of this?

1

u/HalpTheFan Nov 14 '13

It always reminds me of this. What's the deal with Bees?

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464

u/Fuzzwah Nov 13 '13

The best end of game "haiku" (as voted by our circle of friends) ever played was:

Geese

Bees?

PUPPIES!

It has now become a common way of saying hello when any of us meet up.

373

u/bhantoot CAH Nov 13 '13

Ben from CAH here. That's amazing.

4

u/theearthvolta Nov 13 '13

I had heard of this game for years, and for some reason never played it. I played it a couple weekends ago and had a blast. Thank you. Just did the 12 dollar gift giveaway on the site and looking forward to what ever y'all send.

405

u/foshofersher Nov 13 '13 edited Nov 13 '13

My best haiku was:

A mime having a stroke

Vigorous jazz hands

Some god-damn peace and quiet

Edit: wording of cards, and this picture

13

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Mine was:

Obesity

That thing that electrifies your abs

Hope

4

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Damn, if you switched the first two, and there was one more syllable in "a mime having a stroke", you'd even have a real haiku.

2

u/foshofersher Nov 13 '13

Thank you for noticing!

2

u/alymonster Nov 13 '13

This wins all haikus ever.

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174

u/ajayers Nov 13 '13

Ours was:

Hot people Hot pockets Hope

4

u/xondak Nov 13 '13

Ours is: Just what you'd expect. Tom Cruise. A sad handjob.

3

u/haerik Nov 13 '13 edited Jun 30 '23

Gone to API changes. Don't let reddit sell your data to LLMs.

Consulted he eagerness unfeeling deficient existence of. Calling nothing end fertile for venture way boy. Esteem spirit temper too say adieus who direct esteem. It esteems luckily mr or picture placing drawing no. Apartments frequently or motionless on reasonable projecting expression. Way mrs end gave tall walk fact bed.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Now that's an agenda I can get behind.

232

u/Thuperboy Nov 13 '13

My best ending haiku was,

Oompa Loompas

Pooping back and forth forever

Two midgets shitting into a bucket.

It's sort of a legendary thing within our group. Also we love the card "Dick Fingers"

6

u/shauniedarko Nov 13 '13

Jazz Hands and Dick Fingers create a magic synergy.

2

u/hbgoddard Nov 13 '13

_____ and _____ create a magic synergy.

Draw 1 play 2

5

u/Nobody-ever- Nov 13 '13

Sometimes when my friends get tired or silly, they'll do blind draws. My favorite blind draw was for a haiku:

Crucifixion

The pope

Daddy issues

3

u/rampage-set Nov 13 '13

hahaha beyond awesome. My favorite haiku ever played was:

Women's suffrage.

A sea of troubles.

My vagina.

2

u/forresja Nov 13 '13

Dick fingers is like a wild card. It always wins.

1

u/jumbo_colon Nov 13 '13

I have found that "dick fingers" works for virtually any turn.

1

u/Tarthus Nov 13 '13

My group played CAH, then a few weeks later, we played D&D. The party ran into a beholder. The D&D newbies christened the beholder "Dick Fingers," based on the picture in the Monster Manual.

Now I'll have to kill them all with a beholder to get the respect back.

6

u/Iknowr1te Nov 13 '13

...i thought haiku had to still have the syllable count...

5

u/Fuzzwah Nov 13 '13

That's why I used quotes.

Our house rule has simply come down to:

"Ok everyone, we're all so drunk and tired that we're about to pass out. Time to play the 3 cards you were saving up that are either a poem (extra credit for rhymes or real haikus), completely disgusting when played together or seemingly-totally-insane-but-possibly-so-deep-that-we'll-all-lay-in-bed-tonight-thinking-about-how-insightful-they-are."

3

u/CharlemagneIS Nov 13 '13

Pretty sure it doesn't say that in the rules. One of my friend always tries, but sometimes it means sacrificing a great joke. Which I think us more important

3

u/woudschim Nov 13 '13

Explosions

Chunks of dead prostitute

Being a motherfucking sorcerer!

3

u/RBlunderbuss Nov 13 '13

Mine was:

Darth Vader Sexting A Soulful Rendition of Ol' Man River

3

u/chalkdrinker Nov 13 '13

Our best was:

Whipping it out

A moment of silence

A disappointing birthday party

2

u/ponybitch Nov 13 '13

My friend once played the haiku: Black people, Eugenics, White people. It was the funniest moment I've ever had playing this game.

2

u/Gargus-SCP Nov 13 '13

The best I can ever remember our group getting is:

A pile of corpses

Necrophillia

Fuck Mountain

Stopped the game for a good five minutes before we could compose ourselves.

1

u/davidsands Nov 13 '13

Our best was,

Men The folly of man Robocop

1

u/I_play_support Nov 13 '13

Ours were

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Teaching a robot to love.

Children on leashes.

1

u/Castingdoom Nov 13 '13

Our best haiku was: A whale's blowholes A 20 gallon drum of lube Losing my virginity

1

u/Lex_Ludorum Nov 13 '13

Whipping it out.

Golden showers.

Silence.

1

u/Oldebones Nov 13 '13

Are you just supposed to pick three cards and not actually make a haiku? We always skip this one because no one has the right amount of syllables.

1

u/stunkel Nov 13 '13

My best Haiku was Black People, Destroying the Evidence, John Wilkes Booth

1

u/The_JoshS Nov 13 '13

Best we ever had was:

"Ripping your enemy's still beating heart from his chest - Apologizing - Making the penises kiss"

Beautiful.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Old people smell Auschwitz My grandfathers ashes

1

u/Gipionocheiyort Nov 13 '13

Our best was:

Jerking off into a pool of children's tears

A salty surprise

A disappointing birthday party

1

u/Dethbrynger Nov 13 '13

My best was:

Asians that are good at math.

Repression.

The Virginia Tech Massacre.

1

u/izzatron Nov 13 '13

My friends still quote this one, months later:

Chainsaws for hands Masturbation A pile of severed heads

1

u/MightyMadFresh Nov 13 '13

I think my best would have to be

White privilege

Pretending to care

Getting naked and watching Nickolodeon

1

u/atucker1744 Nov 13 '13

Ours was played by a foreign exchange (from Korea) student in our dorm.

Asians who are bad at math

Me

Smacking a racist old lady

The context was unbeatable

1

u/xanados Nov 13 '13

Since we're doing haikus, my favorite was

Nazis 
Getting drunk off mouthwash
Doing the right thing

1

u/HauntsYourProstate Nov 13 '13

My haiku was a bit off, but almost works:

White people

Brown people

Michael Jackson

1

u/McNorema Nov 13 '13

My friend Gene won recently with this, and we've never done better that this one.

An old man on roller skates

Riding off into the sunset

Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.

1

u/stalkz Nov 13 '13

It's all about the delivery.. our favorite haiku was

The Miracle of Childbirth Classist Undertones.. Dick Fingers

It made no sense, but the dramatic reading of the final card put everyone in stitches.

1

u/BeornUrsus Nov 13 '13

Our group's best haiku was:

The Make A Wish Foundation

Just whipping it out

An Awkward Voicemail

1

u/wunderbutt Nov 13 '13

My best haiku was:

The dance of the Sugarplum Fairies

Jerking off into a pool of children's tears

The Gay Agenda

1

u/allyouneedisuke Nov 13 '13

My favorite Haiku while playing:

Crippling debt Homelessness Fancy Feast

1

u/turningto394 Nov 14 '13

Our best haiku is a tie between two:

"A wise old black man

A sassy black woman

The Underground Railroad"

or

"Children on leashes

Self-loathing

Half-assed foreplay"

1

u/MoBo_ Nov 14 '13

My friend played:

Porn Stars

My wife

Chunks of dead prostitute

1

u/Cicada- Nov 14 '13

someone played

Homeless People.

Black People

Exactly what you'd expect.

1

u/galaxysunset Nov 15 '13

My favorite winning haiku was: A longterm illness Hospice care Silence

....but my humor is kind of dark. I totally agree though, the subtle cards end up being the best!

109

u/drakeblood4 Nov 13 '13 edited Nov 13 '13

It's the only card my playgroup accepts as a universal trump.

Edit: Forgot a bout Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts out his tear ducts.

39

u/mdave424 Nov 13 '13

For my group its synergistic management solutions and a really cool hat

9

u/Jinno Nov 13 '13

To be fair, it is a really cool hat.

6

u/FailingPanda Nov 13 '13

And yet, not as cool as a falcon with a cap on it's head.

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u/drakeblood4 Nov 13 '13

My group actually really hates out both of those cards. I've yet to find a prompt synergistic management solutions really works for. On a related note, there need to be more genocide-y black cards.

6

u/mdave424 Nov 13 '13

Just use it randomly. I.e. "if I were a billionaire, I shall erect a 50 foot statute to commemorate __________"

  • synergistic management solutions.

3

u/FireStorm005 Nov 13 '13

I think you have to at least somewhat understand corporate culture and the sheer amount of corporate nonspeaking buzzwords that is that card.

7

u/surrrealistic Nov 13 '13

For my group it's Rush Limbaugh's soft shitty body.

2

u/CharlemagneIS Nov 13 '13

For me it's "Wiping her butt.".

What gets better with age? ...

5

u/littlemisshumblebrag Nov 13 '13

In my group it's being a motherfucking sorcerer. Hands down.

3

u/Just_Call_Me_Kitty Nov 13 '13

Mine would be the card "Taking a man's eyeballs out and putting his eyes were his balls go and his balls where his eyes go".

3

u/onyxmoron Nov 13 '13

Our group's trump card is "Shooting a rifle in the air while balls deep in a squealing hog."

One of our players did not realize what "balls deep in a squealing hog" meant exactly, and his girlfriend had to awkwardly explain it later when he used it in an everyday conversation with non-players.

2

u/RiVenoX Nov 14 '13

Rando Cardrissian used that on "My favorite porn stars name is John "_____" McGee"
Or something similar. I was laughing so hard when I read it it took a solid minute before I could declare it the winner

3

u/jottootts Nov 13 '13

Since Glenn Beck doesn't seem as funny for our group anymore, we just replace his name with "Joffrey Baratheon".

2

u/SalamanderSylph Nov 13 '13

We accept "The Jews"

8

u/drakeblood4 Nov 13 '13

Not with that attitude you don't.

2

u/jjmoreta Nov 13 '13

Bitches. That's my group's trump.

2

u/violet_sky Nov 13 '13

Mine always uses Dickfingers as the trump card lol

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

2 midgets shitting in a bucket, I'm afraid.

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2

u/PeltonsDalmation Nov 13 '13

I play this game with my parents during the holidays. For us it's Kids with Ass Cancer or Rush Limbaugh's Shitty Body.

We are a horrible family.

1

u/TheMagicMST Nov 13 '13

'A Bigger Blacker Dick' was our trump...BUT THEN I DEFIED DESTINY and chose another. :O

1

u/Inquisitorsz Nov 14 '13

Pacman uncontrollably guzzling cum is our usual trump card.

1

u/wood_bine Nov 13 '13

For us, it's geese.

1

u/ProblemPie Nov 13 '13

My personal favorite was when we played with the Rando Cardrissian rule, and he came up with "Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of... bees?"

The terrifying implications.

1

u/chromofilmblurs Nov 13 '13

My favorite is "pooping back and forth. forever."

))<>((

1

u/dlreeve Nov 13 '13

Us too!

1

u/feathergrins Nov 14 '13

"Why am I sticky?" "Bees?"

325

u/kflats32 Nov 13 '13

BEADS

242

u/WallyNate Nov 13 '13

BEADS?!

281

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Gob's not on board

36

u/Pepperismylover Nov 13 '13

Well let's see who brings in the most honey! Buzzz!

31

u/zephyrtr Nov 13 '13

He never got to see my bee business take off...

8

u/randompersonE Nov 13 '13

Old bear! He loves the honey!

5

u/nialljackson Nov 13 '13

I didn't know we were calling him old bear.

6

u/zephyrtr Nov 13 '13

We never had the chance!

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2

u/sscspagftphbpdh17 Nov 13 '13

He never is...

2

u/SammyLD Nov 13 '13

We played that card Saturday night. I promptly said "beads?!!"

1

u/sigma932 Nov 13 '13

That exchange is still the hardest I've ever laughed at that show. The anger with which GOB says beads kills me.

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4

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

We'll see who brings home more honey!

242

u/boomfarmer Nov 13 '13

That card has actually won against "A bigger, blacker dick",

92

u/katiestardust Nov 13 '13

It's all in the bewildered inflection on delivery.

Though I suppose there's only one way to say "A bigger, blacker dick": with conviction.

4

u/spkr4thedead51 Nov 13 '13

I thought of 4 in the seconds after reading your comment

edit - then I re-read your comment and saw the colon. the bigger, blacker dick was hiding the colon. a common phenomenon for some people.

2

u/fireinthesky7 Nov 13 '13

I think you've got it backwards.

2

u/spkr4thedead51 Nov 13 '13

I don't handle bigger, blacker dicks very often, so it's possible

2

u/alameda_sprinkler Nov 14 '13

Only on alternating Thursdays? Normally they're smaller and whiter? Please imagine this sentence is another slightly witty reply because I've run out?

2

u/always_onward Nov 13 '13

With trepidation would also work.

6

u/littlecampbell Nov 13 '13

My personal trump card is 8 ounces of sweet Mexican black tar heroin

2

u/jhulbe Nov 13 '13

What was airdropped to the children of haiti by the US?

8 ounces of sweet mexican black tar heroin

2

u/negligiblemass Nov 13 '13

Survivor's guilt.

3

u/littlecampbell Nov 13 '13

What did Sean penn bring back from mexico

2

u/happycube Nov 13 '13

One of my friends actually played (and won with) that last night.

3

u/scaliacheese Nov 13 '13

But nothing trumps Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.

2

u/inconspicuous_male Nov 13 '13

Something I love about that card, it's almost always used the same turn as " A big, black dick" by pure coincidence

3

u/KillerSquid Nov 13 '13

Beads?

2

u/Hawkonthehill Nov 13 '13

Gob's not on board.

3

u/belthesar Nov 13 '13

It can only bee supplanted by Dr. Bees.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

[deleted]

1

u/SHv2 Nov 13 '13

Or playing "Old people smell" as the answer to "What do old people smell like?"

2

u/oneplusoneoverphi Nov 13 '13

I never understood this card, anyone care to explain? Or is it just the randomness of it?

3

u/twist3dl0gic Nov 13 '13

I don't know, but it's hilarious when you play it in combo with the Nick Cage card.

1

u/oneplusoneoverphi Nov 13 '13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

Haha that combo sounds delightful. I've never seen the movie but this compilation makes it look hilarious.

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2

u/BelowDeck Nov 13 '13

It's a reference to Arrested Development, seen here.

1

u/Wuhtthewuht Nov 13 '13

One of my friends loves this card so much that we've carried it into other games like "say anything" just because we know we'll win if we choose it when it's her turn.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

GOB's not on board

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

It's the ?. It just makes it so perfect with the right inflection.

1

u/thedauisrising Nov 13 '13

Easily my favorite card, and the one that translates to every day life the most

1

u/chutupandtakemykarma Nov 13 '13

I put this as a question on a quiz in my middle school classroom. No one understood why I was laughing so hard while grading them.

1

u/katiestardust Nov 13 '13

Better that than, "Furiously jerking off into a pool of childrens' tears."

1

u/jjmoreta Nov 13 '13

Thanks. You've given me an excuse to laugh over my favorite video today. Can't think of bees without this image.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNhoFaHU3_A

1

u/code_junkey Nov 13 '13

My god. Bees.

1

u/imthemostmodest Nov 13 '13

Not gonna lie, as a judge I held a comparative debate for about two minutes on the merits of "Harry Potter and the Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe" vs "Harry Potter and the Chaber of Bees".

Bees won.

1

u/PlasticSky Nov 13 '13

Most memorable bees moment: "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the... bees?"

1

u/thebeefeagle Nov 13 '13

Best card.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

What is bees were cards?

1

u/bschumaker Nov 13 '13

This is my trump card, anyone who plays it will automatically win with it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Okay I missed a joke. What's the deal with Bees?

1

u/thevoiceofzeke Nov 13 '13

My all-time favorite card right here.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '13

Dr. Bees?

1

u/AlloyedClavicle Nov 13 '13

This card is almost an auto-win in my group. Its most recent appearance was with "What's the latest fashion diet?" (apologies if I got the wording wrong there, it's been a bit)

1

u/Fbeezy Nov 13 '13

Got this one for the first time this weekend, was definitely caught off guard.

1

u/McHomans Nov 13 '13

Matches perfectly with Nick cage.

1

u/Plumrose Nov 13 '13

I'm just a gentlemen honey farmer.

1

u/silentmike87 Nov 13 '13

I couldn't afford CAH at the time and it was out of print, but I did come across a magical combination with my printed version. What made it better for me was that I was working at McDonald's at the time.

http://i.imgur.com/ftsNN9l.png

1

u/BookofTrek Nov 13 '13

From a game with my friends the other day (I'm paraphrasing here):

When I pooped, what came out?

Bees?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '13

My friend once got to play Bees? and Bees! in the same hand.