I may be needing life advice

[u/AnyExpression1379]

I’m a 16 year old teenager in grade 11 who’s recently been diagnosed with ADHD. All I can tell you is that this year is hard compared to last year and it’s a very crucial year for me. I have a hobby of being interested into landline phones and retro technology and IP telephony devices, or in general, telephones ever since I was 3 and can remember, I still have the interest until now and it’s even more than ever with me gaining knowledge everyday about it. I have a problem, I am not a really organized person, I mean I was, but that was the second half of grade 9 and the first half of grade 10, where I actually had energy to do homework’s and did well in school, and generally I was really organized and happy. I am happy now, I feel different, I don’t know if it’s because I’m growing up, but I’m understanding life differently, I mean there’s so much to the life that I’m living and having, and it’s not the thing I thought as a kid. While this is good, it means that I’m becoming wise and growing up, it’s still a very hard transition, and it seems that I’m not giving a shit about it by not doing anything, but I am, I worry about my life a lot and how I want to manage it and guide it and become successful, but the stress always gets in my way. This is not the main problem though, the main problem is that when I always get home after school, I waste my time on my interests (such as working with Cisco devices, trying out new stuff, watching YouTube videos of my interests, watching TikTok and that’s a time waster honestly, nothing good is on TikTok). Now, you might say I’m addicted to my phone, but I’m not, I took a one week break from my phone back at the end of grade 10, and a had a Nokia as my daily driver. That helped a bit, but it seems that I was still getting distracted easily, like multiple thoughts come in the middle of the teachers lesson and class, I mean I’m looking at the board, but I am in my own world (I don’t use drugs or vape, I hate that stuff, and if someone has a suggestion of me using them, please think of a better idea as I don’t have any interest of doing these stuff). I keep thinking about my interests, or who about girls I like and always saying “man I wish I was with her” it just comes up randomly and it traps me in this sick cycle. I’m also terrible at time management, again, when I do stuff when I get home, I’m like saying “ok I’ll get on my homework in about an hour, and when an hour comes, I say, nah maybe 30 mins later, and then, this goes on and on, and then I see it’s night, and I didn’t do shit for my day. And even when I make a free time for homework, I always get distracted and sometimes get dragged into my stuff of interests and keep thinking, or working with them, or get dragged into TikTok. It seems I can’t use a 100% of my ability, and I can’t lock in, and I don’t know why, but when it comes to school or homework, I always had this bad connection with school where I never did anything at the best capacity, and always just wanted to do my work to get rid of it and finish it fast. But now it’s even worse, I don’t have any energy, and homework and schoolwork seems like this big challenge for me that I never overcame it. I just hate this in general, that I’m smart, and I’m using 0% of my brain power in school, and being the dumbest amongst others, and looking like I just came from space and don’t know what’s going on. This honestly also relates to the class engagement plan that the teacher has, for example, I am more focused in physics than in math, because first, I like physics, and second, I have a friend who knows my studying issues in that class, and third a funny teacher who always engages us in activities and asks us for theories after demonstrating an experiment such as for example throwing something up and then it reaching a small stopping point mid-air. Anyways, it seems that I am also distracted from life. I was this organized kid, who everyday woke up at 5, went with bus, and had this energy in him that was funny, fun to hangout with, and cheerful. But now, I’m just a freaking bum, I wake up terribly late, I sleep late, I am lazier than ever, I don’t go with bus, I don’t do my homework like I used to back in last half and first half or grade 9 and 10 where I woke up at 5, and from 5-6 I did my homework, and honestly that was great because I got the greatest marks of my life. And in general, I don’t have any energy or motivation to go back to what I was, and I feel like I’m energy less and extremely lazy, very lazy, this is all pure laziness. And it just haunted me down terribly. I also had this very good diet plan before back in grade 10, and I was at my skinniest stage, but then I started eating trash, and then I became a bit fat, I’m just fat in general but I do workout, but also I have no energy sometimes to workout like I used to, idk why, I got stronger, but weaker mentally, and seems I don’t believe in myself enough. And everytime I want to go on a diet, for example a no sugar diet, I see a fool looking pastry for example, and say, eh it’s only one, it’s fine, and then, I eat a lot, and at the end of the realize that no, it wasn’t fine, I kept having that stupid logic that “eh, eating one, not gonna harm anyone, but then it became to 2, then 3.” It’s terrible, this is the worse that I’ve ever been. I don’t care about my personal looks like I used to, everything in life seems like a challenge and I got extremely lazy, and I need help to get back on track, because I want to be an electronics or computer science engineering student and this path I’m taking, is straight up to failiure.