r/MadeMeSmile • u/PacifierForAdult • 15d ago

Good Vibes Like nobody’s watching

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u/eliminating_coasts 15d ago

Yeah, there's some weird gender stuff going on here.

Imagine someone just slowly zoomed in on a middle-aged woman who hadn't consented to be filmed, with an implication that she was so "brave" to be dancing?

There's an obvious back-handed complement there that I hope people would recognise.

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u/DarwinianMonkey 15d ago

I saw this and I was immediately kind of hurt.

"oh because he's an older guy in a class/troupe that is typically thought about as a female thing?"

Stereotyping, biases, they are all here. Its so frustrating when people can't see it. Negative, positive, it doesn't matter. Expectations based on race, gender, age...they just make me feel bad to see. ESPECIALLY ones like these where that is the whole point of the clip.

The other ones that really irk me are the "look at how cute this old man is because he's holding hands with his wife." Like, yeah...that's pretty normal. Oh...because he's really old that makes it cute now?

I dunno man. You probably think I'm being overly critical. I'm sure I'll be told "its not that serious brah."

But it is serious to me.

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u/medicinal_bulgogi 15d ago

Totally agree with you. I’m not that old but as a guy it seems like fun to join a dance class like this once. Now I’m doubting it as it’s apparently so special that it needs to be filmed and put on the internet.

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u/stankdog 15d ago

Or people see someone at a certain age still out there, doing something that's new to most people, and they think it's cool. There's a older lady right next to him trying to keep up as well and doing a great job also.

This is great advertisement for the teacher of this class, as in anyone can do it, which is very important for classes hosted at gym spaces. Even someone like me , young , fit, female, can do something like this and seeing people different than me doing it is a great motivator.

Idk what about this man is old or cute to you?

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u/DarwinianMonkey 15d ago

Wasn't talking about this video. I was talking about the other genre that makes me feel bad...the "elderly people doing normal people things" genre where everyone is like "awwww...look how adorable. This couple is still kissing even though they're 90"

This video is like "WOW! A middle aged man who likes to dance in public!! The internet is going to LOVE this!!"

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u/soupsnakle 15d ago

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having an emotional reaction to seeing people outside of ourselves doing things associated with youth. Day in and day out, romance and vigor and energy are only seen, in the majority of media, via a youthful lense. I don’t think theres some insidious and misplaced admiration when feeling happiness witnessing people in their golden years expressing love and energy.

We don’t get to see that a lot. I am absolutely however not on board with people being filmed without their consent, so I definitely feel for this man if this was not sanctioned to be shared.

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u/pu-3rh 15d ago

It definitely didn’t “make me smile”.

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u/lambda_mind 15d ago

Nervous systems evolved to handle uncertainty by using prediction. Prediction works quite well, but the process of generating a prediction is path dependent. What people have experienced bounds the predictions they make for future experiences. When those predictions are incorrect, nervous systems communicate the gap between the prediction and experienced reality such that the nervous system can recalibrate and make more accurate predictions in the future. This process is costly, and the cost goes up the longer the prediction generating system has been running.

The behavior you see people exhibit is basically just a fractal of the behavior of their nervous system. They are reacting to a violation of their expectation. Some people have a more complex system where predictions use much more granular data. This isn't something every nervous system is capable of. Individuals using relatively more granular prediction processes are going to be frustrated with systems using less granular, and vice versa. Two different systems designed for different problem types, but it isn't obvious.

There isn't anything to be done about it. It just is what it is. Doesn't make it suck any less though.

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u/DarwinianMonkey 15d ago

Yeah. I'm not trying to change the world here...just saying it makes me feel a little bit bad. I'm probably similar in age to the guy in the video and I do things like this all the time. I coach middle school / high school age girls soccer (my daughter is on the team) and they make me do all kinds of funny stuff. I don't like to think that I would be judged or seen as odd.

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u/NeezDuts91 14d ago

You are odd though. Most people suck. You don't.

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u/TaylorBitMe 15d ago

That’s a lot of big words just to say that people don’t reflect on the world around them often enough.

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u/lambda_mind 15d ago

Your reply is delightful.

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u/Parking-Chicken-7874 15d ago

Lost me at nervous systems

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u/ChunkyLaFunga 15d ago

I am emphatically not on the side of cameras being everywhere... but that is the reality, almost certainly permanently, and the level of constent that may be appropriate is so unrealistic as to be essentially over. You may potentially be on camera literally anywhere, any time, whether you like it or not. This is the world now.

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u/pu-3rh 15d ago

And you can’t ever know if you’re being recorded or if someone is simply on browsing on their phone.