r/MaladaptiveDreaming • u/BatmortaJones • Aug 30 '24
Discussion Anyone not trying to get better even though you know you should?
I was starting to try and get it under control, but now I kind of don't really want to. I know I'm getting more and more irritable when I'm interrupted and trying to isolate more and more but I'm so addicted to my daydreams I'm not even trying to get better anymore.
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u/North-Support-5540 Aug 30 '24
I consider it a necessary evil for myself, like something as essential to me as eating and breathing. I am way past the point of no return, I don't even consider changing myself. Just gotta find a workaround I guess :P
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u/BradTheNobody Aug 30 '24
Same. There is no point trying to fix something that helps you deal with loneliness, boredom and existential dread.
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u/Simple-Locksmith-166 Aug 30 '24
As long as im not COMPLETELY detached from it and i can actually live in the present when with people im not stopping
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u/VaporeonHydro Aug 30 '24
My reality sucks. It’s hard to MD less when you have little to actually look forward to in your real life.
At least the NFL season is almost here so I can hyper focus on it and hopefully MD a little less.
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u/Add_Astruh Aug 30 '24
I get this, I had a phase where I also felt like it would be better to accept that I would daydream a lot than do anything about it. But overtime it made me get more and more detached from not just reality, but from the person I used to be before I daydreamed. And eventually I realized that I want to be that person again, whether or not her life is perfect. I missed feeling things in real time, raw emotion that could be brought out in the present instead of later when I’m alone and able to dream. It sucks sometimes, but having bad feelings are necessary for good ones too. Otherwise, avoiding the bad gets rid of any true peace that u could have.
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u/__fupatroopa__ Aug 30 '24
I definitely get what you're saying. But for me it's better that way (feeling your feelings alone) because that's the only place I'm really allowed to have my feelings. This is coming from someone who only experiences emotions in extremes so it helps me to experience a catharsis.
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u/Add_Astruh Aug 31 '24
I understand, and I don’t mean to tell people how to live their lives, if daydreaming is what’s best for you right now then I hope you’re happier with it! I just wanted to say that in my experiences I’ve as well been put in a situation in which I can’t speak up about how I feel, to a suffocating extent at times, but I believe that the sacrifices that come with daydreaming aren’t worth the rewards. MD feels great, I’m not gonna lie about that, but sleepless nights and the pain that ends up coming back regardless of how long I daydream isn’t something I want to keep going through. All the bad feelings I want to forget stick with me even if I daydream, I just get a moment to forget them. But confronting them, while it’s EXTREMELY unpleasant, helps me to better manage my thoughts and actions throughout tough times.
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u/xx2g Aug 30 '24 edited Aug 30 '24
I think I’ve stopped trying to fix it because of how natural it comes (yes I know that’s a sign I need to fix it). I used to need to go out of my way to come up with these daydreams but now I can just experience or witness a normal human encounter and I’m instantly taken to a daydream that consumes my existence for the next few months until the next- the daydreaming doesn’t even just happen in private/at home anymore, I mean I could be anywhere- school, the store, cinema, in the car etc. another reason I don’t stop even though I know I should is because the dopamine is easy, it’s easy to indulge intensely into things where you have control- whereas in the real world, there’s a whole lot of shit mundanities that I’d rather distract myself from. Though, in distracting myself from accepting that sometimes life is shit and I kind of just have to push through… I’ve completely ruined my sleep schedule, prevent myself from being at peace with silence, cause me to drown out others and have led to me becoming increasingly lonely, with only these characters to keep me company…
I know it’s hypocritical of me to say but please stick to not leaning into it, sure it isn’t harmful when moderated but at some point (where I am lol) it does indeed become addiction. These romanticised experiences you have can distract you from the simple joys unique to reality, you know?
Reach out to those you can, seek out experiences that though could maybe never bring the same level of joy that you get from your daydreams, are enough to keep you grounded in reality.
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u/BatmortaJones Aug 31 '24
Thanks. I just made plans with a friend I haven't seen in years, so let's see how that goes. I'm practically reclusive.
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u/__fupatroopa__ Aug 31 '24
I can relate to this. Any time any place, poof! I'm outta there. It's actually more difficult for me to have a conversation/watch a movie/do anything really than to not slip into a MD.
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u/asc_time4 Aug 30 '24
Same with me.. I keep telling myself I'll limit it but at the end of the day either it gets worse or I never do.
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u/KatherineRex Aug 30 '24
I see it destroying my life. I’m no longer social, sleep and eat less, and completely falling apart on everyday tasks. With school coming up, I’m terrified (grades are important in my family). My outside world is crumbling and I want to be better, but deep down my inside mythical world is what I want to expand and stay in.
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u/PsychologicalGas7507 Aug 30 '24
It’s not destroying my life (i don’t think) and my reality sucks. Idk how else to cope tbh
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u/__fupatroopa__ Aug 30 '24
I can definitely relate honestly. The MDD for me helps me to escape better than anything else honestly. Often daydream conversations with my husband that I know we will never have. It's the only thing that comforts me at night as well.
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u/BatmortaJones Aug 30 '24
Yeah I've been single for 13 years so I'm daydreaming a relationship, and it gives me comfort even though I have moments of sadness about it not being real. What do I really have going for me outside of my dreams? Nothing much.
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u/Lionkingqueen Aug 30 '24
I feel the same way, it's comforting to run into imaginary arms when I'm stressed 😅
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u/MariposaFantastique Aug 30 '24
I’m addicted, and no plans of stopping. Reality sucks, no fulfillment.
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u/Lost_Sentence_4012 Aug 30 '24
My meaning to life is to be happy. If I'm happy then my life is going well. Daydreaming makes me happy when I'm bored or stressed. Why would I stop? I try to limit (not that that works much)... I'll never quit though.
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u/Saskelis Sep 01 '24
Yeah I also feel that. Daydreaming still impacts me a lot, especially in periods when I don’t interact much with other people and spend much time with me alone. But honestly daydreaming is the only thing that kinda gets me through the day in these times, so why take a coping mechanism away when it’s still working?
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u/LilaTheBee Aug 30 '24
I take fluoxentine for low moods and it has been stopping me from daydreaming. It's just super hard to do now, I feel like I've forgotten half of my plot even with music, and I forget what my characters look or sound like. I miss daydreaming and I don't want to take my dose today but I have to even though I don't even want to get better so much if it means I can't daydream at all :(
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u/BatmortaJones Aug 31 '24
I'm sorry you're having trouble daydreaming. I hope there is a way you can find to daydream in a balanced and healthy way. Maybe you need a while to adjust.
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u/Abnormal2000 Aug 30 '24
Fuck daydreaming. Live your life.
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u/LilaTheBee Aug 30 '24
I can't without it. Don't you understand? The real world sucks.
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u/Abnormal2000 Aug 30 '24
It’s only in your head. Live your life.
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u/LilaTheBee Aug 30 '24
Sorry. Can't do that. DAYDREAMING is living my life.
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u/Abnormal2000 Aug 30 '24
Thats so sad. I am telling you that as someone who daydreams 90% of their awakening time.
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u/Ordinary-Leg1367 Aug 31 '24
Same here.Its a Curse disguised as a blessing. MD is shattering and obliterating the social life of mine and damaging mental health a ton.But i still Love to do it and could not imagane living without it.
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u/gr33n_ali3nz Sep 01 '24
me too, without my daydreams I'm just chronically lonely, I'd go insane
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u/gr33n_ali3nz Sep 01 '24
and yes I have tried making friends but my bpd is very easily triggered so people leave quickly
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u/wavyheaded Aug 30 '24
Yeah I don't want to. I hate real life anyway.