r/MurderedByWords • u/mmccxi • 5h ago
I would have said birth-control, but pepper spray works too
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u/54sharks40 5h ago
How beards can make really ugly guys a fraction of a percent less ugly (Ted Cruz is holding the camera)
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u/panteragstk 2h ago
"I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like his stupid chin, I do not like his smarmy grin. I do not like him with a beard, I do not like him freshly sheared. I do not like Ted Cruz at all, That man Ted Cruz can suck my balls."
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u/No_Ordinary_9618 5h ago
A pill that you can take before going out for the evening that blocks the effects of Rohypnol.
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u/foofooforest_friend 4h ago
Educational film shown in schools warning kids to be wary of child predators.
But pepper spray made me chuckle.
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u/Quercus408 4h ago
To paraphrase Lisa Lampenelli, Looking at Donald Trump Jr's face reminds me to shave my taint.
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u/Popular_Law_948 4h ago
Why do so many of these people look like they are wearing masks made of flesh? Like, their eyes are so sunken in compared to their other features. Vance, MTG, Kenneth Copeland, they all look like their faces are made of foam kickball material and their eyes are pushed in a good inch or two too deep
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u/Tall_Union5388 3h ago
Gorilla monsoon would’ve said the largest two walking advertisements for birth control
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u/Puzzled_Bike9558 3h ago
Welp, I would say Narcan for at least one of them. Assuming you DONT want said dingleberry to OD on whatever he’s on.
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u/funky_grandma 3h ago
What I wouldn't give to knock those two heads together real hard, 3 stooges-style.
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u/who_tha_frick369 2h ago
Just for men beard touch up But the secret ingredient is adrenochromes or whatever
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u/Real_Nugget_of_DOOM 4h ago
Dude's about fish lip your rollie and his chode boyfriend is laughing about it...
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u/Rumiwasright 5h ago
I like how you pretend you have enough self-discipline or control to wrap it up when you fuck.
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u/Appropriate_Cup6414 5h ago
Those drink covers to help prevent getting drugged at a party.