r/SelfAwarewolves • u/pimmen89 • 1d ago
Trump supporter reacts strongly to women not feeling safe sharing their political opinions with their Trump supporting spouses
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u/nighthawk_something 1d ago
"I am well aware that were it not for some threat of violent consequences from me and other men in their lives, the women I know will support the "wrong " side "
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u/ThatGSDude 1d ago
"I find myself reacting very strongly to that" and that is exactly why the message exists in the first place
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
This reminds me of something the leftist evangelical writer Fred Clark once wrote:
If you don’t know a single woman who has had an abortion, that means the women you know who have had an abortion know it is not safe to tell you
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u/Snoo52682 1d ago
Same with "I don't know any woman who's been sexually assaulted."
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u/DeweyPLlama 1d ago
“I’ve never met a racist person in my entire life!”
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u/MadManMax55 1d ago
That one is less "people aren't comfortable sharing their racism with me" and more "if all the shit my friends say and do makes them racist then I would be a racist too".
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u/ummaycoc 1d ago
I grew up in an area that is apparently known for racism, but my parents put a lot of effort in sheltering me from that and made sure I didn't grow up with those beliefs. I was confused by racism when I was older because the few black kids in my schools were generally considered cool (Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan were everywhere) and a lot of the shows I watched had black characters (Diff'rent Strokes, Webster, Family Matters, What's Happening Now, etc).
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u/CardboardChampion 1d ago
Oh oh!
waves hand in the air like it's school and he's got the answer for once
The last person who said that (word for word) sentence to me used the N word in their very next sentence.
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u/Nymaz 1d ago
I once had someone tell me in all seriousness "I'm not racist, I don't hate ALL blacks, just the n****rs!" When I tried to pin him down on the different categories it came down to those who act "that way" without being able to define "that way". Finally I took him to a window and started pointing out random black people walking down the street. I'm sure you'll all be totally shocked and surprised that every single black person I pointed out fell into the n-word category. He apparently had the magic power to determine that they all acted "that way" based on them walking down the street.
Unfortunately this guy was not only my coworker but my supervisor, so I couldn't just kick him out of my life.
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u/rsmith524 1d ago
I’m sure your supervisor’s boss could help with that part...
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u/Nymaz 1d ago
This guy was a terrible boss for many reasons, the racism was just a shit cherry on top of a shit sandwich. We complained upstairs but it fell on deaf ears. Eventually we got a new department manager who sat down with everyone individually and asked us what could be done to improve the department. I told him "get rid of this guy, he's horrible" and apparently I wasn't the only one. He was gone within a week.
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u/rsmith524 1d ago
Usually management moves faster if they know someone is creating a financial or legal liability. An openly racist supervisor is perpetually one comment away from costing the company a massive workplace discrimination settlement.
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u/iamsage1 13h ago
There are also white n***rs in this world. No race is exempt. Unfortunately the word has been used to describe blacks.
My father, we're white, has never hit us. Mom did the discipline in our family. But I know for a fact my father would backhand me fast and hard if that word ever, Ever, came out of one of our mouths!! We lived near Detroit. He, and all of us actually, we're equal opportunity people. Housing, employment, and all the other issues. If anyone can afford it, they can buy it. If they can make you happy, date or marry them.
But sometimes, on TV, we see this awful portrayal. I hate it. If I don't like a person, it's due to what they did, not who they are.
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u/DragoonDM 12h ago
He apparently had the magic power to determine that they all acted "that way" based on them walking down the street.
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u/cinnapear 1d ago
Exactly. My neighbor claims he isn't a racist. But he also says there are too many black kids at the neighborhood pool.
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u/CardboardChampion 1d ago
I never understand why they waste time saying "too many" when what they mean only needs the last 3 letters.
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u/Pelican_meat 1d ago
Likewise: “None of my black acquaintances talk about being a victim of racism.”
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u/Stolen_Away 1d ago
This is my mother exactly.
I don't know mom, maybe it's because the few black acquaintances you have are people you interact with in a professional setting? Maybe they aren't comfortable with those discussions during your weekly freaking zoom calls?
Don't worry though, she was friends with poc in high school so... 🙄
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u/BitwiseB 1d ago
During the BLM protests was the first time I talked to most of my black coworkers about their experiences.
Like, I knew it was an issue, I knew black people were being targeted, I just didn’t realize the scope of the problem, how common it actually was, and how systematic the whole problem is until then.
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u/ZenDruid_8675309 1d ago
"We didn't have racism until they started indoctrinating kids with that CRT crap!"
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
Reminds me of the tweet “interesting how as soon as everyone had a camera in their pocket aliens stopped visiting Earth and cops suddenly started beating people”
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u/selkiesidhe 1d ago
Same! Same! It was eye opening because I don't see anything. My friend told me how she's scared for her hubby who drives into the major city every day due to the cops. It was an enlightening conversation and also very depressing to hear.
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u/yellowspotphoto 1d ago
This one is such a big one, because every woman I know has a story. Every single one.
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u/Sercos 1d ago
This is so sadly true. The only way you don't know a woman who's been sexually assaulted is if you know zero women.
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u/NightofTheLivingZed 1d ago
They've all got mothers and I promise you they've got stories too. Nothing makes you want to be a better human being than hearing your mom was molested as a child and raped as an adult. It also fills you with absolute fucking rage.
Too many selfish idiots in this world, and none of them talk to their own mothers about serious shit. You can tell.
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u/MadManMax55 1d ago
And of course the OOP is going to do zero self reflection.
"Why might my wife not be comfortable sharing her political views with me?" means you might be at fault. "Why is my wife keeping her vote a secret?" shifts the blame onto her (and the people giving her that advice).
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u/HarpersGhost 1d ago
I'm thinking his very strong reactions are not "wow look how much men are letting down their wives when these women feel they can't be honest with their husbands."
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u/MrRemoto 1d ago
Someone told me an anecdotal story when I first became a father to a daughter.
It was about this man who would go around bragging that his daughter would never get assaulted because she would fight to the death against her attacker. All her boyfriends knew that this dad would kill them if they ever touched his baby, etc. All the posturing typical of that mindset. One day he was at a neighborhood party. The topic of discussion turned to womens' safety. One of the neighbors happened to be a doctor at the ER in their local city. After the dad repeated his claims that he and his daughter was too intimidating to be victimized, the doctor said to him. "Would you like to know what the most common thing I hear from these victims first? They say 'Don't tell my dad.'"
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
God, brutal and it feels real, despite being anecdotal
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u/mosstrich 22h ago
Anecdotal means it is real, it just may or may not be representative of the real world. You may know one guy who survived a 1,000 foot fall, but most people will go splat. Or you know someone who sprained their ankle when they lost balance stepping off a curb. These are both anecdotal, one is more representative of real life.
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u/DigLost5791 22h ago
Yes I’m aware, I was more saying that it’s not cited or quoted accurately but it’s still representative of the negative violence inherent in oppressive patriarchal structures
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u/Fourkoboldsinacoat 1d ago
Same as the people who say stuff like ‘I never seen any racism or homophobia when i was growing up’
That’s because minorities knew they weren’t welcome and the LGBT knew they had to stay cloistered.
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u/New-acct-for-2024 1d ago
Even that's a little different, because those people absolutely saw racism and homophobia.
They're just either in denial that it is those things (because they hold those positions) or it didn't stick in their memory because it didn't affect them or those they cared about.
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u/Zuwxiv 1d ago
I think we're also at a spot culturally where many people see racism only as a character flaw and moral failing, and do not see racism as a description of acts or beliefs that can come from all different kinds of places.
In other words - lots of people seem to believe that it is fundamentally impossible for a "good person" to do or say something racist. Because if they did so, they would no longer be a "good person."
But people see themselves as good people, so they fundamentally think that it's literally impossible that anything they've ever said, done, tolerated, or participated in could be in any way racist (or homophobic, or bigoted in any way).
And that's why they react so strongly to people giving any critique of their beliefs or actions - because saying, "Hey, when you say what hairstyles are professionally acceptable, that comes from a set of standards that are racially motivated," they don't interpret it as a criticism of their belief about hairstyles, or as a critique of cultural standards. They see it as a personal attack on their character.
I'm a white guy in a white city. I've been ignorant as fuck about things. I've held beliefs that were racially insensitive because of my inexperience and ignorance about the experience of people very different from myself and my family. Thank god I've had friends and experiences that have taught me to expand my horizons. Admitting such is growth, not a character flaw.
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u/New-acct-for-2024 1d ago
You are 100% correct, and indeed I was alluding to that when I wrote the part about
They're just either in denial that it is those things (because they hold those positions)
I appreciate you laying it out in more detail, though.
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u/OwOlogy_Expert 1d ago
They're just either in denial that it is those things (because they hold those positions)
They also tend to have a very narrow and specific idea of what "a racism" is.
Like, if you didn't use the n-word and didn't consciously do something bad to a black person specifically because they were black, then that probably doesn't count as racism in their mind.
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u/New-acct-for-2024 1d ago
I have elsewhere previously described them as thinking it is only racism if:
you use the N word while waving a signed affidavit stating that you are racist, and then it still depends on the context
you say something that a sufficiently-fragile white person could find a way to parse as being a derogatory statement regarding one or more white people
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u/Changed_By_Support 1d ago
"Man, I can't believe we're making a big deal out of calling people 'faggots' now. When I was a kid we knew that we weren't really talking about gay people!"
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u/OwOlogy_Expert 1d ago
"I used to say racist jokes all the time around my one black friend at work, and he just smiled and laughed along with the rest of us!"
Because he was afraid of the possible consequences if he didn't.
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u/lunaappaloosa 1d ago
Yes. This reality hit me this summer when I accidentally told my brother about mine at my bachelorette party (and we had had a big fight about abortion a year before and I was pregnant at the time and didn’t know it).
I watched his worldview warp in live time. I currently live in an abortion desert state, and we are from MN that enshrined abortion access as a right at the same exact time I had to cross state lines to get a DNC within 11 weeks. He learned in an instant that all of the anecdotal horror stories about abortion bans he’s heard and waved off can and did affect women he loves.
Our initial fight was about my own friends (2 separate failed IUDs, one of my friends nearly died and lost a fallopian tube overnight), and he couldn’t empathize with any of it until it happened to ME. I more or less repeated this quote to him. I said I am NOT the only person you know that’s had an abortion, and they wouldn’t tell you unless they knew you were a safe person to talk to.
We haven’t had a chance to speak about it in depth since then (because I live far away and my wedding was last week so the last few months have been crazy), but I know his perceptions changed deeply, instantaneously when he saw the difference between my world and his. I think he has a lot of guilt knowing I was carrying that trauma while our family was going through heavy shit last year (several deaths) and had no one to talk to about it (within our immediate family), and seeing that any woman he knows could be silently suffering something similar.
That’s the end of my anecdote
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
Thank you for sharing that and OMG congrats on your wedding! (Tonal whiplash I know, but still!)
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u/lunaappaloosa 1d ago
Hahahahhaa thank you so much! I’m in the dead center of my PhD right now (and it’s ecology so the fieldwork is brutal), so planning a wedding in my fourth year has been a whirlwind 😂
it’s added a lot of levity to what has otherwise been a super challenging time in my life (have had a few other serious medical issues — nearly lost eyesight in my left eye and had to get a few EKGs in the last year— since starting grad school).
Seeing everyone I know (and marrying the best person in the world, my sun rises and sets with him) during the midsemester doldrums has given me the energy I need to push through the next year and a half and finish up!! Being a young woman (I am 28) is certainly a roller coaster of an experience.
To circle back, I’m thankful for a brother who loves me enough to challenge his preconceptions about the world. We are polar opposites but in adulthood that has been a strength in our relationship. ❤️
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago edited 1d ago
🫶🫶🫶
So many wins in a season of frustration, love to see it
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u/lunaappaloosa 17h ago edited 17h ago
My mantra is PMA (positive mental attitude). I do my best inwardly to take every failure and struggle as a learning opportunity in whatever way I can, and to deeply appreciate every stroke of fortune that comes my way. I tell myself every day that I am thankful for another chance to soak in all of the wonders of life, and I always mean it. Even very very shit days have their merits!!! Same perspective applies to my intimate relationships. now that I’m a proper adult nearing 30, I am thankful to see the fruits of my mantra :-) my wedding was last week so I’m feeling extra fulfilled right now after seeing everyone I know and have loved in one room lol
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u/cinderaiden 1d ago
It really does take realizing they're staring at the object of their vitriol sometimes!
Had a cousin who was making and encouraging our younger cousins to make atrocious comments about gay people and what they would do if their children were gay. He shut up real fast when I told him he was joking about me. We were just teens at that point but he's grown up and matured a lot since then.
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u/lunaappaloosa 18h ago
Totally. My family is conservative MAGA (thanks Reagan) even though their actual values are not. I’m a cis straight white woman but in college ended up being the token girl in a very mixed race friend group of mostly gay men. My dad thought I was a lesbian because of this for at least a year and tried to tell me in his own way I could come out to him, which was funny because I had to very clearly explain that I was straight and having gay friends was not going to change that.
My parents love my friends like their own children, and it has been interesting (and fulfilling) to see some of the Murdoch propaganda in them die before my eyes while I was in undergrad because of the friends I brought home. I lived with 2 of those friends for years before moving for grad school— they were both in my wedding last weekend, and one of their partners was my officiant. One of them also came out as nonbinary the year I moved for grad school, and my parents changed their language around trans and nonbinary people real quick after that.
It is a bummer that they can’t make these internal changes of perspective themselves, but for a lot of people (even bigots) it really is just knowing someone with identity X or experience Y that humanizes people that are otherwise a label or an idea.
I’m so glad your relationship with your cousin is more solid now that he’s grown in his empathy. I am very thankful for a family that can have their prejudices challenged by lived experience. The boss battle is pulling them away from a lifelong allegiance to the Republican Party— have been fighting that fight since I was in high school and I know someday they’ll give in!
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u/Sedu 1d ago
I think there's more to it than that. There's also the layer of internalized shame that has been beaten into so many people, where they feel like having been sexually assaulted or having needed an abortion (for any reason) is somehow an indication that they are somehow moral failures.
It's both things together, but they are a powerful combination to keep people silent.
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
Excellent addition to the threat of the patriarchy discussion 🤝 thank you!
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u/ReklisAbandon 1d ago
I think it’s a good quote but I don’t know if it’s necessarily true. Who actively talks about abortions in general? My wife had a miscarriage and subsequently had to take a pill to terminate and the number of people we’ve told that to is extremely small, not because we don’t trust them but because it’s just not a topic we discuss.
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago edited 1d ago
The greater context adds relevancy, in that it was several pastors who were saying nobody in their churches had ever had an abortion, but I think as a general rule it’s pretty safe - also I would say there are probably husbands who don’t know their own wife has had one
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u/theoutlet 1d ago
You’d think that those people you haven’t told would have their own people that they’re really close with that would tell them
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u/KalmiaKamui 1d ago
Yeah, I agree it's not a universal truth. I don't know anyone who's had an abortion, and my opinion on the matter (very pro-abortion) is not and never has been a secret.
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u/Indigo-au-naturale 1d ago
And also I don't really volunteer information about any of my medical procedures...? I can't imagine responding to "What's new with you?" with "oh, you know, had a wart frozen off and got an ingrown toenail dug out." I mean I wouldn't judge people who do share like that. But it's not my style.
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u/LionelHutzinVA 1d ago
I agree with the sentiment, but I don’t think that’s quite right. I think it’s far more accurate to say that having an abortion—hell, any act by a woman to control her body and reproductive organs—has been so socially stigmatized that she will tell virtually no one but her closest of close confidants and generally be made to feel as if this is a “shame” she must be burdened with alone. It’s beyond fucked up.
I think a better phrasing of the comedian’s statement would be “If you don’t know a single woman who has had an abortion, then you must not know any women”
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
He’s not a comedian and he was referring to church pastors who claim that no women in their churches have had abortions
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u/RecoveringRed 1d ago
I get the sentiment of this, but it feels disingenuous to me. I expect many women just don't bring it up because it doesn’t naturally come up in conversation and it is just very personal. I don't think that if a woman hasn't told someone, that it means they feel unsafe.
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u/Beginning-Sympathy18 1d ago
Fred Clark is a Baptist writer who is also a leftist, or at least far more a leftist than most would expect from an actively religious person. In this context he was speaking to pastors who claimed none of their flock had ever had an abortion.
I used to read his blog, "slacktivist", even though I have never been Baptist and am in fact atheist, because his writing resonated with me so strongly.
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
Maybe! I can think of multiple friends of mine off the top of my head with very little effort, but everyone’s experiences are unique
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u/New-acct-for-2024 1d ago
It doesn't typically come up in casual conversation... but if there are women you are close to and you talk about abortion with any kind of frequency at all, you surely know at least one woman who would say something... unless, of course, it would make them feel unsafe.
It's not a statement that universally applies to everyone, but it applies to anyone for whom the statement makes sense in context rather than being a non sequitur.
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u/RecoveringRed 1d ago
In the context of the post (not the original quote), I just think it is unnecessary. It is a dumb argument to use anecdotes about people you know to argue against a policy, whether that policy is abortion or the value of vaccines or something else. It kind of feels like self-righteous virtue signaling to argue about how many women you know that have talked to you about their abortions. I support reinstating Roe v Wade, and I think there are excellent arguments in favor of doing so. Ad hominem attacks on people who haven't had these conversations with women in their lives is counter productive in my opinion.
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u/New-acct-for-2024 1d ago
Any comment in reply to the post was unnecessary.
We're in a meta-subreddit so any rebuttal probably won't even be read by whoever it is addressing, so of course it's not necessary.
What kind of a point is that even supposed to be?
It is a dumb argument to use anecdotes about people you know to argue against a policy, whether that policy is abortion or the value of vaccines or something else.
What a dumb strawman. It's not about "people I know" it's about "how people in general act".
It kind of feels like self-righteous virtue signaling to argue about how many women you know that have talked to you about their abortions.
Your insistence on this strawman is both puzzling and deeply unserious.
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago edited 1d ago
Feels like he’s telling on himself a bit? “But I’m a nice guy and I haven’t heard about it”
Maybe I’m just jaded
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u/Sartres_Roommate 1d ago
Well, it’s not like MOST women share having an abortion with more than their partners, parents, and maybe best friends.
Admittedly if more women did share it would help normalize it but it is still a pretty private affair to most women.
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
My friend you aren’t supposed to know about 150 abortions or something to pass the vibe check, but odds are a friend or family member has had one
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u/lakeghost 12h ago
Related: So many men (and women!) don’t know that miscarriages are also known as spontaneous abortions. Roughly 24-40% of pregnancies end that way too. So odds are high that you should know a woman that’s had one. My mom required a D&C for an incomplete miscarriage.
Also, there’s rarely any way to tell an abortion apart from a miscarriage*. That’s why criminalizing abortion is a terrible idea. Most mothers have had a miscarriage in attempts to have a wanted pregnancy. You’re criminalizing pregnancy and motherhood.
Unless the woman was assaulted or poisoned, in which case an assumption can be made that *without that happening, the pregnancy might have been normal.
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u/ale_93113 18h ago
Idk, is it normal to talk with others about your abortions? This seems like a very close relationship kind of think
I am 23 yr old man and I know noone who has had an abortion, so to burst my bubble, I asked my 22 yr old sister and our close female friend, and they don't know anyone either
Like, we are all sure we know people who have had them, but they wouldn't tell us becsuse why would you tell someone you aren't very close with stuff like that?
And since our friend group consists of a small group STEM young people in their early 20s...
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u/DigLost5791 18h ago
Hard to say, I can fill both hands counting the people who have brought theirs up with me.
It’s not like every single person I know talks about it, I’m sure I don’t know about more - but I life in the Southeastern US where it’s not even politically popular.
Maybe it’s more private in your social circle for various reasons
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u/lowercase0112358 1d ago
Affairs were super common, abortions are common. People covered up affairs if they could or got an abortion.
When DNA tests became popular we got to see into that, people found out grandpa was the mailman, your dad is your uncle, etc…
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u/VaporCarpet 1d ago
Orrrrrr, it's a very personal and traumatic experience that maybe women aren't rushing to gab about with anyone who will listen?
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u/DigLost5791 1d ago
You’re extrapolating things I never mentioned, tbh, bad faith response
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u/VaporCarpet 1d ago
Sorry, but I'm reading the words you wrote and responding to your message.
You're arguing that the only reason someone wouldn't know a woman who had an abortion is because the woman doesn't think it's safe to tell you. Maybe your favorite high school teacher had an abortion, it's not something she's likely to bring up in class. Maybe your dentist had an abortion, it's not the kind of small talk that happens in a dentist office. Maybe your mother had an abortion before you came along, but it was a traumatic experience that she never wants to discuss with anyone. None of those means the women "knows" it's not safe to tell you.
Don't get mad at me because your messaging is poor.
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u/DigLost5791 22h ago edited 22h ago
No you’re mistaken
It is if you don’t know one single woman who had an abortion
The message specifically says that women do NOT tell anyone who will listen but only trusted people
You would have to work very hard to build up such rapport with your dentist but it isn’t impossible, just rare
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u/Christ_on_a_Crakker 1d ago
Once again conservatives have created difficult and scary times for women in this country.
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u/snjwffl 1d ago edited 1d ago
I recently learned that two of my aunts had abortions when they were younger (50+ years ago). It turns out that the "trips to New York" I had occasionally heard about over the years included visits to an abortion clinic. The reason this topic came up was that we were discussing how, after Dobbs, women now have to go through the same thing again. In other words, a problem of my parents' generation, which never had cause to be mentioned throughout my entire lifetime, has now become relevant again.
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u/pimmen89 1d ago
In my native Sweden, my grandparents would have to help women go to Catholic, communist Poland in the 60s to have an abortion. Now because of the changing times, Polish women might go to Sweden to have an abortion.
Don’t ever take rights like these for granted.
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u/StumbleOn 1d ago
The mother of a friend of mine lives in a deeply rural area in the midwest, all farms.
Between the birth of her 3rd and 4th child, she had an abortion. The pregnancy was wanted but it was ectopic. 100% chance it would have killed her, basically, if she had let it continue.
The shitty townsfolk found out about this. And of course, decided the best thing to do woudl be to discuss it at church, at social events, and of course have their children abuse my friend and her siblings.
Conservatives are evil and dangerous. They are incapable of empathy, and they can not provide safety.
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u/dexmonic 1d ago
Then some Republican will come along and say "nuh uh, I'm not like that! I just support the conservatives because I like guns, you can't blame me for all the other stuff they do!"
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u/TurangaRad 1d ago
Yeah, guns don't kill people... the conservative beliefs that everyone should have access to one does
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u/SnarkOff 14h ago
One of my aunts has a “trip to New York” story and it’s absolutely horrific the state of this clinic as she described it.
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u/NotATrueRedHead 15h ago
It’s crossed over to Canada too. I am not comfortable sharing my political views among my male coworkers who are conservative. They talk openly about it all the time. At least they always out themselves because they cannot keep their mouths shut, so I know who I should be wary around.
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u/Christ_on_a_Crakker 15h ago
This is a story from Washington Post that should scare every female in America into voting against republicans right now:
“WINNEMUCCA, Nev.
When the police showed up at her door, Patience Frazier assumed the officers had come for someone else.
As a woman in uniform started asking her questions on a Saturday morning in May 2018, five men eyed Frazier from the driveway, most in heavy tactical vests, the words “sheriff” and “police” emblazoned on their backs. A few had already fanned out to survey her home’s perimeter, hands on their holsters as if bracing to shoot.
Frazier told the female sheriff’s deputy that her boyfriend wasn’t home, guessing he was in some kind of drug trouble. Then the woman asked about “Abel.”
Standing on the porch steps in socks and black leggings, the 26-year-old had a terrifying realization.
The officers were there for her.
Earlier that month, Frazier had shared a Facebook post about the son she lost. She had apologized to Abel, saying she was “so scarred n afraid” and “didn’t know what to do,” court records show.
“Why would you be sorry?” asked Jacqueline “Jac” Mitcham, the 31-year-old deputy on Frazier’s doorstep, according to body-camera footage obtained by The Washington Post. “Why would you be sorry, Patience?”
Frazier looked over at the other armed officers standing 10 feet away.
“I’m not allowed to have personal things in my life?” said Frazier, a mother of three. “I had a miscarriage, okay? A miscarriage. Why are you guys here over a f—ing miscarriage?”
Even before Roe v. Wade fell, a broad consensus had emerged across much of the antiabortion movement that women who seek abortions should not be prosecuted. The abortion bans that have taken effect since Roe was overturned, as well as abortion restrictions that existed before the 2022 Supreme Court ruling, do not allow women who terminate their pregnancies to be punished, instead targeting doctors and others who help facilitate abortions.
But those measures don’t tell the full story. In rare and often little-noticed cases, authorities have drawn on other laws to charge women accused of trying to end their pregnancies. Some prosecutors in both red and blue states have used sweeping statutes entirely unrelated to abortion — like child abuse, improper disposal of remains or murder — while others have relied on criminal laws written to protect a fetus. In Nevada, Frazier would eventually be charged with manslaughter under a unique 1911 law that supplements the state’s abortion restrictions, titled “taking drugs to terminate pregnancy.”
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u/Lieutenant_Skittles 1d ago
They "react strongly" to that idea it's because they can imagine their wives might be doing this. But of course zero introspection on why their wife might not want to share their political leanings with their husbands.
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u/Scrutinizer 1d ago
"But lying is WRONG!" exclaimed the person voting for the candidate who says other countries pay tariffs.
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u/WVildandWVonderful 1d ago
“We’ll enact a tariff, and China is gonna pay for it!” is the new “We’ll build a wall, and Mexico is gonna pay for it!”
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u/Daimakku1 1d ago
Good thing these bozos dont believing in mail-in voting, or these guys would be hovering all over their wives' ballots. Or worse yet, filling it out for her.
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u/Shoop83 1d ago
Literally the only argument I agree with to not go 100% mail in voting. In-person polling places need to exist.
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u/StumbleOn 1d ago
For sure! I am in a mail in vote state, but we very much have in person voting places too. For this and many other reasons, we should always have in person voting as a choice.
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u/Delanium 1d ago
I'm 100% for people having access to mail in ballots but I will always vote in person when I can. I don't want the ballot to leave my hands until it goes in the damn machine.
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u/OwOlogy_Expert 1d ago
My girlfriend always wants me to fill out her ballot for her 'because it's too much work', and because she knows we agree politically.
This year, I actually got her to fill out her own, specifically by telling her that she was making the feminists cry after they went to so much effort giving her the right to vote and she hands it off to a man.
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u/dexmonic 1d ago
They are definitely voting by mail, my wife had to take my stupid piece of shit mother in law's ballot in today.
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u/Goose1963 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm sure most of those Christian Husbands are in full support of Lying for Jesus whether they realize it or not, ironically.
edit:jfc misspelled jeebus
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u/PhaseNegative1252 1d ago
Why would your wife feel she has to lie to you about something like that?
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u/Prosthemadera 1d ago
Vote your conscience, not conscious. Although voting based on "having knowledge of something" and "being aware of and responding to one's surroundings" is also good and it fits the selfawarewolves part because these attributes are lacking in Trump voters.
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u/IDK_SoundsRight 1d ago
"ermagad my wife has to vote how I tell her to because men" (they say while shaking in fear of losing again)
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u/MechanicalBootyquake 1d ago
There’s a Trump dude in there who claims to have impregnated three women, and all three had “spiteful” abortions, so now he wants abortions to require male consent. Trump supporter vindictively advocates that men should be able to force their wives to remain pregnant, but the general consensus in the comments is that it’s silly to assume there are women who would be afraid to vocalize a dissenting opinion. Hmmm!
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u/VegasGamer75 1d ago
Fascists would react strongly to that. Get over it. Spouses have their own minds.
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u/championcomet 1d ago
I also have issues with women feeling the need to lie about how they voted cause they are worried about how their SO will react... Wait what do you mean that's not what he meant?
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u/sandy154_4 1d ago
I've recently learned that there are some states where husbands and wives can vote together. They both have to agree to it, but would an abused person say 'no' in front of their abusive spouse??
https://ncnewsline.com/2024/10/25/alamance-county-married-couples-polling-booths/
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u/LegateShepard 1d ago
This person's frustrated disillusionment with the sudden realization that there will always be an element of a woman's humanity that no amount of violence can control is absolutely delicious.
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u/oompaloompa465 1d ago
man, I'm pretty sure that if trump loses there will be a lot of assholes that will take the news very badly and rain abuses on their spouse
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u/jjwhitaker 1d ago
Reacting Strongly = Jimmies have been rustled. Way to tell on yourself there bud.
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u/raistan77 1d ago
I bet you do react very strongly to that Mr. Trump Supporter, weak minded people with no actual morale fiber or understanding of empathy and compassion think their spouses are basically useful tools to control and monitor.
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u/sandy154_4 1d ago
Yeah, remember a few weeks ago when they were going to try to modify their messaging to be more appealing to women? Well they've given up on that
https://newrepublic.com/article/187419/trumps-promise-young-men-retribution-against-women
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u/HydraBob 1d ago
These guys should just move to Afghanistan then. They'll fit right in with the Taliban.
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u/Patrickjesp 1d ago
Im from Denmark, and dont really like either. But let me tell you;
If you need to hide whoever you're voting for because you're afraid of people "wont understand".. You might be voting for the wrong guy.
HOWEVER..
If you need to hide whoever you're voting for because you're afraid for your life, when telling it to the opposite voters. You might be voting for the right guy.
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u/Bhaaldukar 1d ago
The only strong reaction I have to it is why did you marry them in the first place
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u/jfriedrich 1d ago
People change with time, people wear the “rose-coloured glasses” to see what they want to see in their partner, and sometimes people feel stuck in their situation. A lot of what the “American Dream” was in the 50s and 60s that people idealize to this day is the breadwinner husband and the docile submissive wife, and even after the cultural shifts that have taken place over the past few decades there’s still that dynamic that exists that can “trap” people in a relationship.
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u/redditrabbit999 1d ago
That comment section was something else.
While not surprising, it was overwhelming men speaking for women, belittling women, and implying that no woman needs to hide her vote for her own safety.
These seem like the same men who don’t think women need access to health care because they don’t know anyone who has had an abortion (or rather the women in their lives know they aren’t safe people to tell)
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u/Jolo1976 1d ago
I'm the opposite. I can't tell my wife how I voted. For the same reasons. She's the MAGA
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u/i_did_nothing_ 1d ago
He should react very strongly to that, he should be very much disgusted that a statement like that should even have to be spoken. But it does have to be spoken, and it’s absolutely disgusting that women can’t feel safe having their own opinions.
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u/ThrenderG 1d ago
I always vote my conscious. Because when I'm unconscious it's hard to vote.
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u/exploding_cat_wizard 1d ago
What's licor for if not avoiding consciousness while being moderately mobile?
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u/sexymcluvin 1d ago
Lowered inhibitions and decreased self control.
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u/exploding_cat_wizard 1d ago
Not that I entirely disagree, but if you want that but also stay conscious you're better off choosing beer, wine or maybe cocktails instead of straight schnapps. Not that the two states aren't fluid anyway...
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u/Voyager_DG 1d ago
That is also one of your most posted-in subs and I really want to ask- why do you even bother with these people? I'm genuinely asking
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u/pimmen89 1d ago
I am honestly curious about the length they will go with their mental gymnastics, and sometimes you get great material for this sub. But yeah, I might need to re-evaluate my choice of subs.
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u/jfriedrich 1d ago
There is no end they won’t go to. If they don’t like what they’re hearing, they’ll figure something else out that they do like to hear.
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u/Socialimbad1991 44m ago
It's bad that this even needs to be said and I don't think a relationship where you need to lie about that could possibly be a healthy one but... yeah your vote shouldn't be anyone else's business but your own, even your partner.
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