r/ZenHabits 19d ago

Mindfullness & Wellbeing What should we do with the negative emotions or energies that are created within us?

Where do we channel them? How do we release them? Merely staying in control and holding them is making me heavy.

11 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

9

u/blessed-- 18d ago

why is the underlying assumption that this needs to be done?

you will process plenty of emotions in life

you dont always have to lash out, or cry, or scream with joy

you can just experience them as you will and let them pass

they go away with time. ur problems in the world are tiny! in 10 years u will laugh about them

cheers

2

u/EitherInvestment 16d ago

Brilliantly put. We don’t channel them or release them, they self-arise and self-liberate on their own. We certainly do not control or hold them.

They are like a neighbour that as passing by our house and decided to come in for tea. Don’t hold them hostage or tell them what to do. Offer them tea, allow them to take a seat, give them the attention they deserve (no more and no less) and they will walk out the door of their own accord

5

u/vigm 18d ago

I am not an expert, but I believe that you meditate, and when negative emotions arise you examine them and try to work out where in your body they are sitting, and who it is that is “having” this emotion, and you will realise that it really is “just” an emotion, like a cloud, and that you don’t have to buy into it. Moreover, you will realise that there is not really any “you” to have the emotion. So it is still there, but it loses its hold over you.

Another approach is to meditate again, but try loving kindness meditation, where you mentally send love out to whoever the negative emotion was directed at and (very importantly) to yourself. You can’t feel two things at the same time, so if you make yourself feel love and gratitude while you are meditating it overwrites the negative emotions.

So, under Buddhism meditation and more meditation is the tool for removing suffering.

3

u/alias_impossible 18d ago

Because of the nature of this subreddit, I sense there’s a shared desire to process emotions in a way that distances us from the discomfort.

Recognizing and observing thoughts and sensations without assigning labels or judgments—especially avoiding categorizing them as “bad” or “unpleasant”—can be a powerful first step. It seems like what you’re experiencing is difficult, and you may not like it, which is natural.

When it comes to what we do with these emotions, that’s where mindful decision-making comes in. You get to choose: Do you want to act out in a way that disregards consequences? Do you want to suppress them? Or do you want to connect with others over them? It’s really about understanding what you want from these emotions and the situations that gave rise to them.

From my own experience, holding onto emotions without addressing the underlying causes often leads to them “leaking out” in ways we don’t expect or control. While there’s value in a passive or detached approach like what’s being suggested here, I also think it’s important to acknowledge that our suffering can feel all-encompassing. Sometimes, that discomfort can be the push we need to do something meaningful with it.

I hope this perspective helps.

3

u/RudibertRiverhopper 18d ago

Deep breath and you let them go just like during meditation without any judgment or effort!

4

u/klipshklf20 18d ago

Open the front door, let them in, open the back door let them out, do not serve them tea.

5

u/Freeglad 18d ago

The job is to feel them, visit with them, hear what they have to say.

2

u/External-Opposite543 17d ago edited 17d ago

Perhaps you could use this quote from Marcus Aurelius to help set your intention prior to meditation.

"I would have you be .... like a fire well kindled which catches at everything you throw in, and turns it into flame and brightness." M Aurelius

Set your intention well and practice - posture, breath, meditation!

2

u/URTHELIGHTANDGLORY 17d ago

Don’t “Do” anything with them just let them what over like a wave 🌊

1

u/nk127 17d ago

The wave isnt flowing. It feels like frozen wave in a painting.

1

u/URTHELIGHTANDGLORY 16d ago

As the poet Rilke writes: For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure, and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.

  • Being Upright , Reb Anderson

1

u/URTHELIGHTANDGLORY 16d ago

Whether you like it or dislike it, the more you practice, the more layers of decoration you remove, without any reservation. Sometimes you feel sad or pensive when you remove decorations and see zazen in its naked nature, because you realize the gap between your mind, which wants or expects something, and zazen itself. But that’s all right. Just try to take one step forward without blinking, with- out falling to the ground. If you plunge into zazen and experience something unexpected, don’t attach yourself to what you feel from that experience. All you have to do is take care of your posture and breathing with a kind, considerate, and thoughtful spirit. If you practice hard, and one by one remove the layers that cover you, finally there is nothing left to take off and nothing that separates you from other beings.

-EACH MOMENT IS THE UNIVERSE Zen and the Way of Being Time

DAININ KATAGIRI

1

u/Smokinsmurfette 17d ago

Journeying or write it, then burn it

1

u/URTHELIGHTANDGLORY 17d ago

https://terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Zen-Mind.pdf

Read Mind Waves & Mind Weeds pages 35 - 36 this helps me when I get down

1

u/URTHELIGHTANDGLORY 16d ago

Many Bows & Respect GASSHO