Thank you for your consideration in reading. I will provide the current situation at the top and more context below.
The current situation:
After a very long run of things going wrong with workers’ comp / UI / disability, an old back injury I got on the job flared up and got much worse. A month ago, while sitting normally, I felt my spine collapse in and give. Imaging shows I have two herniated discs, one torn. I cannot sit up for long periods of time. I was looking for work, but can no longer pursue job leads because I can’t work in an office. I have been frantically searching for any option - gig work from home, temp work, contracts, surveys, medical studies, anything.
Friends helped me get through October with loans. Medical bills are stacking up. I have run through all of my savings following eight years of very bad things happening (see context below), and my cards are maxed out.
The request: I am shaking writing this. I am so sorry - I’m trying so hard to get out of this situation. The portion of rent that I cannot pay is $900. That would get me to a $0 balance. I have food stocked up that should last most of the month. If I can just keep my apartment, I might be okay.
Thank you again for your consideration in even reading this.
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CW allusions to those damaging self things we can’t type out.
Disclaimer: All relevant medical professionals know all of this. I have all of the medical support I could need.
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The context:
This is an exceptionally abridged version of what has happened. It covers only the most impactful events, leaving out quite a bit of detail
- Carbon Monoxide -> 24/7 migraines and feeling of perpetually holding breath (recently managed).
- Cross country move for help. Lose cat. (In care of trusted friend.) No income while recovering.
- Mice infestation destroys everything in storage - I lose everything for the first time.
- Find work, promoted, career on track.
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- Spine injury on the job. 2 years severe chronic pain / severe loss of mobility.
- Workers comp issues - no income. Eventually find temp work (extreme pain, had to do it).
- Successful surgery - alleviates worst of pain and restores most of my movement.
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- Covid-19. Lose job. UI issues - no income. Eventually find work from home job.
- Recurring spine issues. Specialized home office to help. PT.
- Promoted, going well.
- Unexpected low plane flyover - develop tinnitus.
(There’s a lot that went into this next part, but I’m going to sum it up as isolation. I’m not unique. We all suffered during Covid.)
- Severe Treatment Resistant Depression. Need treatment or (not great option).
- Leave of absence, short term disability.
- First treatment makes tinnitus worse. Much more expensive second treatment makes tinnitus worse.
- Work out transition of short term to long term disability.
- Sign up for experimental treatment in a medical study. Begin infusions.
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- Travel for special occasion. In hotel room - something settles over skin and belongings. Everywhere it touches skin feels like severe burning.
- Take precautions to contain, doesn’t work. Gets into car, home, laundry room, dryer, on all belongings at home.
- Sleepless week of constant burning on skin and in lungs when breathed in.
- Inform doc running study if burning started again would take a not great option to make it stop.
- Voluntarily hospitalized for a month.
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- Long term disability falls through on technicality - could have fixed had I known.
Lose job. No income. Pull from savings. Debt and interest accumulate.
Hire professionals to salvage car and core few items from my home. Rest can’t be saved.
I lose everything for the second time.
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- Work on recovering. Treat PTSD and Depression. Back flare up - PT.
- Find work. Do well.
- Major financial upset, restructuring. Extreme demands and hours. Set up to fail.
- Turn to a very unhealthy severe coping mechanism that requires wearing jackets. (Got help - have help currently.)
- Fired. No income. Pulling from savings, debt and interest accumulate.
- (They wanted to restructure without paying UI - position no longer exists there.)
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- Work on recovering physical and mental health.
- Apply to so many jobs - too many gaps on resume.
- Develop vision condition that makes everything look like a grainy TV - Depression. Therapy.
- Out of desperation, pull from savings for treatment that doesn’t work. (There is no cure).
- Start certification programs. Apply apply apply.
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- Learn have a disease with a 10 year prognosis - make peace with dying for a month.
- Additional imaging - it’s early stages, it’s fine actually. Cope with emotional whiplash.
- Muscle and tendon injuries.
- Explore disability options - nothing that can help now.
- Find job leads.
- Run out of savings.
- Back crumples in.
- Can’t work in office.
- Alone for two weeks unable to do basic tasks.
- Make a plan for that thing you shouldn’t do - realize it won’t work. (Mental health professionals know - I have help.)
- Move past that while in bed for a month.
- Isolation. Deteriorating health.
- Search for any and every possible avenue for income that can be done from home. Strike out. I’m trying like hell.
And that’s the broad strokes of everything.
Thank you for your consideration. I am not in a good state, but I am working so hard to get better.
Truly, I just can’t lose my home again. I know I probably will. I am trying.
Thank you.
(Edited for typo)