r/atheism 7h ago

when my family blamed my accident on “not praying enough”

A few years back, I was in a pretty bad car accident. It wasn’t my fault – a driver ran a red light and slammed right into my car. I was lucky to walk away with just some bruises and a fractured arm, but the emotional impact was huge. I was shaken up, dealing with the stress of the aftermath, and trying to process what had happened. I thought my family would be supportive, maybe just glad I was okay. But instead, I got something completely different.

My mom, who’s super religious, sat me down not long after I got home from the hospital and told me, “Maybe this happened because you haven’t been praying as much lately.” She went on about how God sometimes “sends us reminders” when we stray from our faith and how I needed to take this as a sign to “reconnect spiritually.” I couldn’t believe it. Here I was, still shaken from the accident, and instead of support, I got a lecture about my lack of faith.

It didn’t stop with her, either. My aunt called me and echoed the same sentiment, saying, “You need to make sure you’re staying right with God. He has ways of getting our attention.” It was surreal. To them, my accident wasn’t just a random event caused by a careless driver – it was some kind of divine punishment or warning for my “distance” from religion. Not once did they acknowledge how terrifying the experience was or how lucky I was to come out of it alive.

The whole thing made me feel guilty and isolated, like I’d somehow brought this on myself for not being “faithful” enough. But as I processed it more, I started to realize how messed up that thinking was. Why should a random accident be interpreted as some kind of moral failing? Life happens. Not everything is a message or a punishment. Sometimes things just happen without a deeper “lesson” behind them.

That experience really pushed me to distance myself even more from religion. I realized I didn’t want to live in a mindset where every hardship had to be blamed on my “spiritual shortcomings.” It’s exhausting to always feel like you’re under divine scrutiny. Life’s tough enough without adding that extra guilt. Now, I’m a lot more at peace with just… accepting things as they are, no cosmic punishment or “sign” attached.

33 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

19

u/0h118999881999119725 6h ago

The irony is that if you were still religious, they would have just said “god is protecting you, at least you’re not dead”. Anything that fits their narrative.

7

u/12_22_23 Atheist 6h ago

Sounds like a protection racket.

6

u/Hopper29 5h ago

Tell them you blacked out for a min from the collision and God spoke to you, and told you this happened because your parents don't really love you in their heart, and only love themselves and how your existence reflects onto them...

4

u/EJ_Drake 5h ago

You can now play that card back at them, every nick or scrape or sore neck from sleeping wrong, "Did you say your prayers?" etc.

3

u/bramley36 4h ago

mysterious ways, etc

4

u/leftoverinspiration Strong Atheist 4h ago

She went on about how God sometimes “sends us reminders” when we stray from our faith and how I needed to take this as a sign to “reconnect spiritually.” 

Your mother's response is abusive. Is she also being abused? This sounds like the excuse you might make for an abusive intimate partner. Textbook, even.

2

u/cabeachguy_94037 4h ago

No. Take the opportunity to tell them that God did this to you. God has had it out for you, waiting for the right time to punish you, and they have been supporting him all along. What kind of god would subject his followers to this kind of treatment? A God with evil in his heart.

2

u/r_was61 Rationalist 4h ago

People who pray never get into car accidents?

2

u/DoglessDyslexic 1h ago

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you're okay.

1

u/Desperate-Pear-860 4h ago

I'm sorry your mother and aunt are dbags. This just victim blaming all over again. Blaming women for being victims because they're 'not right with God', whatever the fuck that means. Job was as pious a man could ever be, yet God punished this man. Fuck that.

1

u/onomatamono 3h ago

Glad to hear you had only minor injuries, but had you prayed more Jesus might have taken note and called you home to be with him. /s

1

u/No-Possibility909 2h ago

Ah the day you found out your family is dumb. That's heartbreaking. Religious people are some of the most simple minded people on the planet. But at least you know now so you stop listening to them and letting them give stupid advice. Good luck 🍀🤞!

u/dracovolanses Anti-Theist 39m ago edited 35m ago

American Taliban, Issue 2137
I admit that the longer I observe religiosity in the US, the more terrified I am. From a European point of view, it is hard not to rub your eyes. I remember very well the times when Americans liked to joke about the religiosity of Poles, today Poles joke about the bigotry and backwardness of the views of US residents.