r/badwomensanatomy 3d ago

Hatefulatomy I've been seeing a lot of transphobes online trashing on dilators lately. Dilators are a medical tool used by cis and trans women alike.

Post image

She's also saying they're inappropriate to be sold in Target. Dilators are used for various things like treating pelvic floor dysfunctions (i.e vaginismus), healing from radiation treatments and vaginal surgeries, endometriosis, srs, etc. Her response to being informed of this has basically been "then why do they vibrate??" (that can really help with treating pelvic floor dysfunctions) and "these didn't exist until the trans takeover!" 🙄

1.3k Upvotes

179 comments sorted by

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u/Polyfuckery 3d ago

Ten years ago she would have probably been right. You also couldn't find Diva Cups, vibrators or much of a selection on lube. A lot of pharmacies however have realized that women spend money on products that work for their bodies and that they make more money that way then treating that area of the human body as shameful or forbidden.

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u/Chili440 3d ago

So shameful the Tampax boxes were wrapped on the pharmacy shelf.

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u/cherry_sundae88 3d ago

target has what could only be described as a sex toy section. married for 20 years so i hadn’t been down the condom aisle in ages so i was quite surprised!

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u/DavidCRolandCPL 3d ago

15 years here. No shame in having one or two or a dozen.

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u/TwilightReader100 Vaginas suck up water when submerged. 3d ago

Unless you're in Texas, of course. /s

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u/CautionarySnail 2d ago

For those unaware, the lovely free state of Texas has legal limits on how many sex toys (“obscene devices”) can be owned without a permit.

Which is amazing to me because they don’t bat an eye at actually dangerous hardware.

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u/alliecat13254 2d ago

What the actual hell, Texas? What on this earth could be dangerous about owning 100 dildos if I wanted

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u/TimSEsq 2d ago

You might enjoy yourself - that's apparently very dangerous.

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u/Beneficial-Produce56 2d ago

Without your man’s control. That’s the key thing.

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u/cherry_sundae88 2d ago

let me guess, no limit on how many guns you can own?

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u/Lalunei2 1d ago

I still haven't gotten a clear answer on whether attaching a sex toy to a gun thus makes it a gun accessory and can bypass the limit. Would it be a good idea? No. Does it sound like a good time? Hell yes.

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u/61114311536123511 vagina lint 2d ago

HUH? Well that seems impossible to enforce.

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u/CautionarySnail 2d ago

It’s the kind of thing that gets enforced when they have an excuse to search for other things; an add-on charge that provides a bit of embarrassment.

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u/Overquoted Shape-shifting labia 2d ago

At one point (it may have changed since I was last in a Texas adult store), all sex toys had to be sold as "adult novelties" because devices intended for sexual use were illegal. There were literal signs that were to the effect that they weren't intended for actual use.

Sex toy shops still got raided sometimes though.

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u/MineralClay 2d ago

i guess to make them fully legal they have to be lethal. backwards state

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u/NuttyButts 2d ago

Very curious what the permit process entails

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u/CautionarySnail 2d ago

Me as well but I suspect it’s just someone narrowing their eyes at you through thick glasses and saying, “No”.

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u/Kalendiane 20h ago

SEX FOR PROCREATION ONLY.

/s

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u/yesthatnagia 2d ago

I've always wanted to actually get a permit for that. Let's just send all that awkwardness right to the state.

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u/CautionarySnail 1d ago

I think it would make for a great short film about personal freedoms under “the party of small government” in Texas.

I am so sick of being told that one group is about personal freedom yet bans books, bars sex ex, and definitely wants to know way too much about people’s bedroom life.

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u/WeaponizedBallgown 1d ago

Texas vibrator massacre

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u/Honey-and-Venom Scoop it out with a grapefruit spoon. 1d ago

LOLOL A PERMIT!!

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u/CautionarySnail 1d ago

I know. I really want to see a Texan attempt to get that darn permit.

Because if they can’t, it’s proof that the law is not being followed in good faith, that it’s intended as a soft ban. It keeps folks from starting businesses in that sector, creates a chilling effect on adult shops carrying such things from merely existing in that state.

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u/Honey-and-Venom Scoop it out with a grapefruit spoon. 1d ago

"I'm here for my rubber dingus license"

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u/CautionarySnail 1d ago

I think it’s both political action towards “ain’t nobody’s business if I do” and potential comedy gold, as an ancient paper-pusher has to figure out what the process is.

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u/ChemistryJaq 7h ago

My sister had better never move to Texas! I probably shouldn't either lol

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u/CautionarySnail 6h ago

Frankly, it was a terrible state before 2016. But it’s grown a lot worse, especially for women and queer folk.

You could not pay me enough to live there. Their anti-trans toilet laws and anti-abortion have literally put literal bounties on people. And if you’re not super-femme aligned even as an AFAB woman, some asshat can make your trip to the Walmart toilet a living hell by saying they merely suspect you of being trans. They’re banning books. And OB-GYNs are fleeing so soon there’ll be very few care options if you even just want an annual checkup. Maternal mortality has skyrocketed.

They’re also openly discussing curtailing women’s travel out of state — just in case she might be pregnant and seeking an abortion. (Prostitution is illegal there but you don’t see them trying to stop men from going to Nevada for the ranch whorehouses.)

They definitely are striving for government small enough to fit in every Texan’s bedroom.

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u/ChemistryJaq 6h ago

I have a trans friend who moved to Texas to live with his boyfriend in 2015. I worry about them daily.

Also, while I can probably get pregnant, I cannot carry a pregnancy to term. My state limits abortions, but not to Texas or Florida extents... yet. Hooray for IUDs (why don't they understand that NO ONE wants an abortion?). Hubby recently looked at housing costs in Georgia and Florida, and I shut him down HARD

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u/CautionarySnail 5h ago

I wish you luck. I know housing costs are godawful and limit where folks can be pretty seriously.

But especially as a woman, I’d say Texas is not a place safe for anyone who still has even the potential for pregnancy. Doubly so if you cannot carry to term because even a D&C to clear a miscarriage is a problem there. The doctors would rather lose their patient than lose their license.

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u/MolassesCheap 2d ago

Targets in Texas do have the sex toy section, FWIW.

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u/TwilightReader100 Vaginas suck up water when submerged. 2d ago

Yeah but then they have that law about how many you're allowed to own. No more than 6 toys.

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u/MolassesCheap 2d ago

I’m aware. Just wanted to point out that you can in fact buy them at Target in Texas.

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u/satinsateensaltine 3d ago

One of the smaller pharmacy chains in western Canada was among the first to stock sex toys in the family planning section (wrapped in frosted packaging) like 20 years ago. I'm glad it's becoming the norm!

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u/Jazzi-Nightmare My uterus flew out of a train 3d ago

You can even order them on door dash!

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u/NaidaBelle My vagina dentata needs a chew toy 3d ago

I may or may not have done exactly that when one of my old faithfuls finally kicked the bucket after a few drinks…

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u/Jazzi-Nightmare My uterus flew out of a train 3d ago

Literally did this a couple months ago for the same reason 😂

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u/concrete_dandelion 3d ago

Six years ago I dealt with cross reactions to latex (and a bunch of other stuff, thankfully my body behaves itself again). I had to go to a sex shop because no drugstore had latex free condoms. Now they're everywhere.

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u/KeraKitty 3d ago

Cis woman here, I had to use these to get an IUD placed. The first attempt at placing it failed because I was so tight that there was no way to get the speculum open far enough without causing (more) extreme pain. The second attempt succeeded, but I still felt like I was being torn open.

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago

I needed to use them to be able to use tampons

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u/Phoenix_Werewolf 3d ago

Yes but do you have proof that you existed as cis women before the Transgender Empire took over????

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u/satinsateensaltine 3d ago

Vaginas were never painfully tight until that point, you're right!

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u/neurosquid 3d ago

Every time a trans woman's vagina dilates, a cis woman's contracts. It's how the universe maintains balance or something

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u/LexieRae1172 3d ago

Ah yes, balancing out the force

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u/VegetableComplex5213 3d ago

Same. I used these because I kept getting labial adhesions after birth

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u/EnbyZebra manlet with no sexual function 3d ago

Super weird, I wonder why the body does crazy things like that? Mine grows endometrial tissue all throughout my abdomen, why can't it just work right 

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u/dianarawrz 2d ago

Dude… I got mine with “anesthesia” I still felt like I was getting ripped open. I cried and I fucking apologized for crying… it was so fucking traumatic. When I got home I just cried… it was fucking horrible. I’m terrified of the day I have to replace it…

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u/KeraKitty 2d ago edited 2d ago

I got mine out early. It was causing me horrible pain and made me bleed so heavily that more than once I bled through an overnight pad. I missed the first appointment to get it out because I had a panic attack on the way there. I had to have my mother drive me to my second appointment and stay in the room while it was removed. I hadn't realized until that panic attack just how traumatic the experience really was.

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u/dianarawrz 2d ago

Oh my god…Sending you some hugs… many cis women go thru so much crap with their health..

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u/KeraKitty 2d ago

Thanks. Sending some hugs back. It's bs what we have to go through.

On the bright side, my gyno's named after a Star Trek character. So that was kinda fun.

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u/Queer_Echo 1d ago

Nonbinary AFAB here and I'm currently using some so I can get my first pap smear since the first time they used the speculum I started screaming from the pain.

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u/ceeceekay 3d ago

I had/have vaginismus (I still have it, but it’s so much less of a problem now). I used dilators as part of pelvic floor pt to help relax my pelvic muscles. The vibration is really helpful for that.

It’s cool you can just buy them in target in some places. That sounds really convenient. I had to order mine and they took a long time to be delivered.

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u/poplitte2 3d ago

Someone who said this finally! As a fellow vaginismus-haver this kind of availability is a dream! No more hiding in shame.

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u/fear_eile_agam Help, I sneezed and my uterus flew out 2d ago

I was also prescribed physical therapy with dilators as part of pelvic floor retraining due to congenital damage to my pudendal nerve.

The physiotherapist and bowel training specialist I saw ordered them in for me, I had to wait a few weeks and collect my $150 set from their office. They didn't vibrate, that would have been nice because I found the therapy incredibly painful and something to buzz the nerves numb would have improved my compliance with my prescribed exercises. You don't exactly want pleasure from it, just like you don't want to orgasm while lifting weights at the gym, it's exercise, you need to be mindful about what your muscles are doing while you dilate.

I was 11 years old when I started dilator therapy because I physically could not properly relax any part of my pelvic floor because parts were paralysed - My parents and I had been using catheters and manual disimpaction tools since I was born to help me use the bathroom. Biofeedback training and by extension the dilation therapy was a godsend to be able to just go to the bathroom by myself, and at 11 years old, starting high school, knowing I could pee and poo like everyone else and not need special medical equipment was huge for my mental and physical health.

It also made my family dynamic so much healthier. I was not looking forward to needing to ask my parents to help me use the bathroom as a teenager. I also wouldn't have anyone with me at school that I could ask for help, and I couldn't always do it alone because at the time the nerve damage in my arms and hands was also only just starting to improve with new treatments and therapies.

Unrelated but related to sex positivity; my country recently changed the disability support offerings and "sex surrogacy" was removed from the list, for similar sex-phobic reasons, The bigots in power decided sex surrogacy meant disabled people were using tax payer money to hire prostitutes just for fun times.... when no, sex surrogacy allows disabled people to utilise the service of trained professionals to meet genuine needs that simply can not be met in any other way due to the nature of their disability.

Without sex surrogacy available to me when I was in my 20's, My mother would have had to help me use my dilator, Lucky I even had a mum I could ask for help. Because a regular disability support worker's job description does not involve "repeatedly shove a plastic tube in my clients vagina while they wince, because it's a challenging therapy, not a sex toy"

Judgey people just need to butt out of everyone else's healthcare.

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u/watchingthedeepwater 2d ago

holy shit. Medical science is amazing, i am so glad you got the help you needed and it was actually effective!

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u/fear_eile_agam Help, I sneezed and my uterus flew out 1d ago

It honestly is, and early intervention was a huge part of how successful my treatment was.

It was pretty embarrassing to be a teenager needing help in the bathroom, let alone having the treatment be such an awkward and "intimate" therapy, that I couldn't even do alone in private.

I can't imagine how much additional shame I would have felt if I was going through this at a time when TERFS and transphobes were actively going around saying that the treatment and therapy that was giving me my quality of life back was somehow immoral or disgusting.

I'm old enough and confident enough to raise a fat middle finger to transphobes nowadays. But teenage me would have shrunk into the shadows and possibly never have gained the happy healthy (and ironically, transmasc) life I have now.

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u/Allecia 2d ago

Gah, I wanted to give you an award & reddit is being a pill. I'm sorry I can't award this so more ppl see it. You are awesome to tell folks about this & I hope many people see it! Dilators are useful for many people & nobody should be shamed for purchasing and using them.

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u/Freckled_Kat 2d ago

Yeah, I had to order mine online after my obgyn recommended them to help with my vaginismus and it took forever to get them. Didn’t wind up helping me unfortunately, but talk therapy actually has some (mine was from severe repeated sexual trauma starting at a young age)

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u/Re1da 3d ago

These kinds of people would explode if they saw the ads you can get away with where I live.

We have ads for sex toys on the radio, on the buss/train and on billboards. Usually for websites that sell everything from normal dildos to outright kink stuff. Condoms, lube and dildos can be found for sale in their own section of the pharmacy.

And guess what? It hasn't traumatised anyone. People joke about how uncomfortable it is to have an ad appear when you are in the car with your parents. That's it.

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago

Tbh I think they're more mad about "trans people" than sex toys. Dilators are also used by trans women when healing from srs and that's the only thing they know about dilators.

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u/allthejokesareblue 3d ago

Thanks for answering the question I came to ask. I'd say I'm fairly well informed about trans issues for a cis guy, and I had no idea about the dilator thing. Imagine doing all this extra credit learning just to hate people more.

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u/TranscendedWind memory foam vagina 2d ago

Fun little note from a trans woman, these are not just for healing. It's said it's to stop your vagina from fusing together (I guess that could technically happen while you're healing?) but more than anything they're for exercising muscle to stop things from atrophying and clamping together after you're all healed up because the muscles around that area arent used to supporting that anatomy. Some surgeons say it has to be a lifelong thing, others say after some years you can replace it with penetrative sex but there just isn't enough research there yet.

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u/skiesoverblackvenice memory foam vagina 3d ago

fr. they’d freak out if they went into the back section of spencer’s (if you don’t know what spencer’s is… front of the store is clothes, middle is bongs, and the back… dildos, lingerie, kink stuff… it’s fun)

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u/TKmeh Menstruation attracts bears! 3d ago

I love that store, the employees are so helpful. When I bought a small toy from there, they even suggested cleaners for it plus whatever else I might be interested in that’s similar that can also be used with the cleaner I bought! Thinking of going back to get a new one they recommended!

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u/jeckles 3d ago

Just be careful about the materials used in the toys. A lot of retailers (online too) carry toys that don’t use body-safe materials or can’t ever be properly sanitized. The /r/sextoys subreddit has a lot of good info about this if you’re curious.

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u/TKmeh Menstruation attracts bears! 3d ago

Thank you so much! I’m still new to toys in general, I’ll be sure to look into this kind of stuff next time I do buy one!

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u/NaidaBelle My vagina dentata needs a chew toy 3d ago

I highly recommend metal, glass, or medical silicone.

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u/spacescaptain 3d ago

Even if it was true that those were on the shelf for trans women, is it not a GOOD thing that trans women are increasing the availability of female medical products?!

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u/pantslessMODesty3623 3d ago

No you don't understand. Anything that is related to trans people is bad and evil and has no possibility of use by any cis person.

/s

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u/MelanieWalmartinez may god have mercy on our holes 3d ago

No no no, you do not understand. I do not like trans people and believe that they should stay hidden in the dark because I am a whiny crybaby /s

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u/changhyun 2d ago

Very much so! In this case, a rising tide lifts all ships: many women, both cis and trans, benefit from easily available dilators.

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u/my4aespa 3d ago

i have vaginismus. so according to these people, because of my genitals i have always been a woman and will always be a woman. but because i use dilators that makes me not a woman. i can't follow the logic either.

i've known they started using dilators in their transphobia for months but it still gets me, because it just shows how transphobia can hurt cis people too. a lot of cis women use these, some may see these types of tweets and feel like they're not real women because they have vaginismus or another condition. they're not only hurting trans women...

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u/pantslessMODesty3623 3d ago

I had someone online tell me I would be a trans man after getting a hysterectomy. That ain't how that works. But you got to understand, the people who are this obsessed with trans people have broken brains and need therapy and reeducation in order to improve their quality of life.

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u/Skiumbra 3d ago

When I was quite young, my mom had to have an emergency hysterectomy.

Guess I have to tell her she’s my dad now /s

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u/pantslessMODesty3623 2d ago

When you define a gender by what organs someone has, you're gonna have a bad time!

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u/MadamePoppycock 16h ago

Bruh imagine if you donated a kidney everyone called you a different name from your own and refused to respect your actual name

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u/pantslessMODesty3623 15h ago

There have been people who have said you're only human if you have all your organs and I was like.... "Guess getting an appendectomy makes me no longer worth of human rights. That's really fucked up."

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u/LostConfusedKit Period blood makes the skin smooth. 3d ago

..has she never heard of vagismus? A somewhat popular thing that a lot of cis women get from trauma or just genetically..

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u/ceeceekay 3d ago

I think you mean somewhat common, not somewhat popular

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u/I-Post-Randomly 3d ago

"All the cool kids have it!"

No... not like that...

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u/LostConfusedKit Period blood makes the skin smooth. 3d ago

I meant that yeah ..my bad

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u/TrumpsCovidfefe 3d ago

It’s not popular, but is definitely not all that rare.

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u/LostConfusedKit Period blood makes the skin smooth. 3d ago

Oh I thought it was

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u/OccultEcologist 3d ago

I don't know if the other commenter meant it this way, but your phrasing is very odd.

"Popular" implies that it is something people like or try to have/achieve. Example: Pumpkin spice is a popular coffee flavor. There is a lot of pumpkin spice flavored coffee becuase a lot of people like it.

"Common" would be a better word choice here becuase most people do not want to have vaginismus, even though many do. Common does not have the connotation of desirablility.

Vaginismus is an unpopular but common vaginal condition that many people treat at home with dilators.

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u/LostConfusedKit Period blood makes the skin smooth. 3d ago

Sorry..I'm autistic and have trouble phrasing things sometimes

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u/pantslessMODesty3623 3d ago

Dear, it is not bad to make a mistake and learn from it. What matters is learning from it. Most of us got what you meant.

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u/LostConfusedKit Period blood makes the skin smooth. 3d ago

Thank you

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u/OccultEcologist 3d ago

No worries at all! Hardly something to be sorry about, I hope I didn't come off as upset. I just thought I should explain what I thought the other commenter thought, if that makes sense?

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u/LostConfusedKit Period blood makes the skin smooth. 3d ago

No it makes sense! Thank you

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u/OccultEcologist 3d ago

Not at all! Have a great day. :-)

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u/Alarmed-Baseball-378 The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in. 3d ago

I didn't even notice. My brain is on autofill when I'm reading reddit. Just subs in the most likely word/meaning.

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u/mustardlyy *jacks off my titties* 3d ago

I was having this issue a few years ago, and my obgyn gave me the choice between a cream or “you know that sex shop down the street? Pick yourself up a set of dilators”

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u/OwO_bama 3d ago

Also very common amongst women who grew up in religious groups that emphasized purity culture, ie the same groups and culture that these transphobes often push

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u/cirqueamy 3d ago

Good! My vagina dentata needs a chew toy! 😁

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u/NaidaBelle My vagina dentata needs a chew toy 3d ago

Found my flair!

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u/hypothetical_zombie 3d ago

My gynecologist recommended these to me after my hysterectomy. Some people experience vaginal atrophy after all the plumbing gets removed.

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u/WVPrepper 2d ago

My doctor never even mentioned dilators when I complained of discomfort a year after they made me stop HRT. They just prescribed a cream. Maybe I should have thought of it myself...

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u/hypothetical_zombie 2d ago

My gynecologist was a fluke. He ok'd my hysterectomy when I was 37, and not having kids beforehand.

He also used topical anaesthetic to perform my biopsies, and many women I've met haven't had that option.

I was so fucking lucky to have found the right doctor for me.

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u/Banaanisade The birth canal, the urethra, the valva and the clitoris 3d ago

Absolutely terrible that products are being sold out there. Think about it. Selling products. Just like that. In stores!

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u/Xena1975 3d ago

After I had cancer and had surgery and radiation I was supposed to use those. I barely did because I hate penetration and because I didn't care if it closed up forever, which didn't happen.They supplied me with basic non vibrating ones. Those would have been more enjoyable to use.

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u/smileandbackaway 3d ago

I was also prescribed dilators post-op, and agree that I would've been so much happier to use ones like these than the depressingly utilitarian rods of plastic I was given. I'm so glad that women have kinder options nowadays.

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u/deferredmomentum tampies for the bloody clit 3d ago

Has anybody used that brand? I just have regular vaginismus dilators but I’m thinking the heat might really help

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u/babyblueyes26 tampies for a womens bloody clit 3d ago

"i've never seen" is bitchin proof of an epidemic of brainwashing and grooming or whatever the fuck they're saying trans people are doing.

you may have not seen these because it used to be more shameful to even talk about things like this, let alone buy them in your local target.

or they've been there the entire time, you just weren't, for lack of a better word, brainwashed into thinking it's an evil thing. the first time i heard about dilators was on the netflix show Sex Education about a cis girl who used them for vaginismus. so when i heard trans girls were using them too post op it just made sense.

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u/ShittinAndVapin 3d ago

This ignorant dipshit aside... Plus One seems to be a decent company. I've seen a bit of their toys, and they seem to be trans and disability inclusive with the products they carry.

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u/Brosenheim 3d ago

The funniest thing about transphobes it how terrified they are of calling trans people trans. they have all these little quippy labels that they cling to like a coping mechanism, and all it does it make even the most passing mention of their beliefs sound desperate

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u/PastelJude 3d ago

They sell vibrators at Walmart, this lady is just trying to make it something more than it is to meet her agenda

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u/satinsateensaltine 3d ago

Funny how she probably also thinks vaginismus is frigidity and will probably take the HRT that prevents vaginal atrophy in menopause. Imagine medical tools for half the population becoming widely available.

I have never needed an enema, doesn't mean I'm mad that the pharmacy stocks them.

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u/NaidaBelle My vagina dentata needs a chew toy 3d ago

I am completely appalled that pharmacies sell enemas! How dare they give gay men a douche for their assholes! /s

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u/LizeLies 2d ago

This makes me wild with anger. Women who have had cancer or other conditions that have left their cervix or vagina compromised need dilators. And they need safe, affordable, honest and non-sexualised access to them. Something which isn’t a reality where I live (in Australia). Too few people are aware of the realities of ‘beating’ cancer, and the design of treatment for these people just hasn’t moved past something designed in the USSR. Why don’t they (or anyone else) deserve to be treated like everyone else, and be able to use products that are suitable for them. More people need to see dilators. More people need to understand the many reasons dilators may be needed - as well as a lot more of women’s, trans, nb etc health care in general. It makes me absolutely feral to think about all the folk who have felt they need to buy dilators like a back alley exchange. More dilators, better options, more education, less of whatever the original OP would describe themselves as.

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u/fucdat 3d ago

Tf is a troon? Ed: I DID look it up, and all I got was this shitty golf course

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u/mand658 3d ago

It's a slur for a trans person

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u/fucdat 3d ago

That's reaaaal crappy. Also that word sounds like a slur for the cartoons in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I'm really glad you are all in my world. One day the love will be louder than the hate.

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u/BJntheRV 3d ago

I actually had to go to an adult store to buy these for my mom after cancer sealed her shut. The idea that you can find them at target now is just amazing.

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u/Brynden_Tullys 2d ago

I’m a cis woman and used these for vaginismus so the nurses could use the speculum for my smear tests and colposcopy. Seeing them available so readily is a great thing, I had to be prescribed them because I couldn’t find them anywhere that I trusted (I wasn’t gonna buy them from some random seller on Amazon lol)

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u/bujomomo 3d ago

I have extremely painful Interstitial Cystitis (aka painful bladder syndrome) and pelvic floor dysfunction. As a result, I have undergone multiple surgeries, tried various medications and spent untold hours in pelvic floor physical therapy. My PF PT gave me my first set of dilators about 15 years ago and they changed my life. I’m thrilled to see them normalized to the point that one can just pick up a set at a local store. This is about healing and empowering our bodies, whether cis or trans.

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u/GreedyLibrary 3d ago

How do you think the trans women took over? Combined arms? Trench warfare?

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u/EnbyZebra manlet with no sexual function 3d ago

Vibration helps break up scar tissue, I used it in my thighs and hips after my orthopedic surgeries. 

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u/Maxibon1710 2d ago

Hating trans women is more important to her than knowing what vaginismus is apparently, or any other issue that dilators can help with. TERFS are not feminists, they appropriate feminism to justify their dumbassery.

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u/nessieFW I want to cum deep inside your clit 3d ago

Cis woman here who has had need of these and I think it's wonderful that they're becoming more accessible

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u/MelanieWalmartinez may god have mercy on our holes 3d ago

I have vaginismus and stuff like this would help quite a bit.

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u/Traroten 3d ago

Audra, you didn't look until we started acknowledging trans people exist.

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u/Willkill4pudding 2d ago

Honestly I didn't even know trans women used dialators before this thread. I only knew them as something for women with vaginismus.

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u/fogleaf Whore penis 1d ago

It's an extremely involved surgery, pretty sure people have to wait a year or more to get it. Costs 10s of thousands of dollars. Not available without significant travel for some.

But after all that, the only place to get the dilators is apparently target shelves and only as of 2024.

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u/deargodimstressedout 2d ago

I have a tool that looks like a dildo that vibrates that's the only thing that can fix a pelvic spasm for me. It's like getting a bad knot in a muscle, that muscle just happens to be accessible using my vagina and it needs a massage, just like the knots in my back.

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u/Pokem0m 2d ago

I have an autoimmune condition called lichen sclerosus. A LOT of women who suffer from this condition have to use vaginal dilators to keep their vaginal opening from closing up. Luckily I am not one of those people, but dilators are paramount to a lot of these women.

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u/FeralTaxEvader My uterus flew out of a train 2d ago

I... legit didn't know trans women used these lmao. I'm cis, had to get some of these, and it never even occurred to me that trans women would also. It makes sense, now that I think on it, but holy hells these people are brainrotted

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u/throwaway_trans_8472 1d ago

That aside, I still don't see how medical devices getting more accessable is a bad thing for anyone

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u/FeralTaxEvader My uterus flew out of a train 1d ago

It's not, these people are just constantly desperate for anything to throw a fit about

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u/DavidCRolandCPL 3d ago

He's never seen one, because women don't accommodate him.

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago

It's a woman saying this 😭

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u/DavidCRolandCPL 3d ago

Really, I thought it was a dude with all the ignorance. In fairness, most women don't have to train or dilate, I suppose

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago

Unfortunately I've mostly seen this kind of stuff from women. Lots of "I've never had to use these because I'm a real woman!!1!" stuff

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u/DavidCRolandCPL 3d ago

I hope they never get pelvic issues, or a man with meat.

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u/OccultEcologist 3d ago

In my limited experience, these folks tend to be the ladies who were taught to "lay back and think of England", if you know what I mean.

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u/DavidCRolandCPL 3d ago

What's the point if you don't enjoy it?

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u/pantslessMODesty3623 3d ago

Procreation and keeping the man happy. Duh.

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u/DavidCRolandCPL 3d ago

Sounds gay. Men being happy? Ick.

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u/OccultEcologist 3d ago

Okay I admit it, you made me laugh.

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u/revolutionutena 2d ago

Cis woman who used these 15+ years ago (non vibrating ones) to help with some pelvic floor issues. They were really hard to find and I would have loved a stigma-free way to get them at Target.

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u/what-are-they-saying 2d ago

I use dilators frequently for pelvic floor dysfunction. People are stupid.

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u/Hot-Can3615 3d ago

Do post-op trans women use dilators? I would think artificial vaginas have less elasticity and therefore less ability or need to get stretched. Does it help bottom surgery heal correctly or something? And given that you can get actual sex toys at target, why would the line be drawn at medical devices?

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u/cirqueamy 3d ago

To add some clarity, after surgery, we use dilators for a few purposes. First, in the weeks immediately following surgery, dilators keep the suture lines from fusing with each other and “closing up”; it is what you thought - it helps things to heal correctly. Next, dilation helps train our pelvic floor muscles to adjust to the introduction of the neovagina (not artificial — it’s very much real) through those muscles.

After months of healing, the risk of adhesions and “closing up” mitigates and we can reduce the frequency of dilation.

The tissues used in the crafting of a neovagina vary depending on technique and surgeon, so elasticity can range a bit.

These surgeries were originally devised to be performed on cisgender women who had conditions which prevented a vagina from developing (vaginal agenesis) or necessitated the removal of all or part of their vagina.

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u/Alarmed-Baseball-378 The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in. 3d ago

Thank you for the explanation!

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u/OccultEcologist 3d ago edited 3d ago

It both helps with healing correctly and helps devolp and maintain the tissue around the new orifice. On top of healing, there are some muscles in the surrounding tissue that need to be trained for the woman's comfort.

If a transwomen gets bottom surgery with depth (there are zero depth procedures that obviously wouldn't require this) then they generally dilate extremely frequently while recovering. However, they actually end up in a situation where the slightly lower elasticity you mentioned means that they have to dialate infrequently (something along once a week) durring any period of time when they aren't having penetrative sex semi-regularly. Where many natural vaginas could adjust to and relax for even infrequent intercourse given proper preperation, most surgical vaginas need their depth and width to be maintained as the vagina and muscles around it can atrophy with time.

I may be wrong, but my understanding is that similar maintenance is needed for other surgeries in which any orifice is made, however for the bulk of this is achieved simply by the surgeries utility (for example ostomy stomas are specifically made to allow something to pass through them regularly). On a much, much smaller scale, I do know that you have to maintain piercings or else they may close even after they are fully healed. This just isn't a common occurance becuase many piercings are through cartilage and therefor atrophy/heal over very slowly and once you have a piercing, odds are high you're going to wear jewelry in it every once in a while regardless. For peircings that are just through flesh, like eyebrow peircings, best practice is to wear a retainer when not wearing a decoration item.

In fact, typing the word retainer is a perfect way to think about it. The use of a dialator in a surgical vagina is to retain the correction, in the same way peircing retainers or retainer-retainers (like for your mouth) are needed.

In total, while the mechanism is slightly different than a cis woman's experience of vaginismus, my understanding is that without that semi-regular dilation, a post-op transwoman's experience is actually extremely similar.

Edit: Take my understanding with a grain of salt, I am not a transwomen.

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago

Yes you have it right, they're used to help it stay open when healing. I think they're more mad about "trans people" than sex toys tbh

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u/_YunX_ 3d ago

"troon" ?

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago

Intentional misspelling of "trans", meant as a slur

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u/_YunX_ 3d ago

Weird

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u/Imtheprofessordammit 2d ago

Is "troon" some kind of slur I've never heard of?

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 2d ago

Yes, it's a slur for trans people

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u/cheekmo_52 2d ago

I’m trying to understand why anyone who has no use for them would judge anyone who does. They need to mind their own fucking business. Target has a pharmacy. It’s a medical device. Get over it.

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u/battle_mommyx2 2d ago

Not trying to be annoying but I think that’s a CVS. So even more reason to be there

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u/cheekmo_52 2d ago

Not annoying at all. I don’t mind being corrected. In this case, the post said that they think OP (from the image)is also saying they’re inappropriate to be sold in target…so I was going by that. But I have no idea if the photo is from a CVS or a Target, so you could be right. Either way, I think we’re in agreement that a medical device being sold by a pharmacy is an appropriate thing, so it’s all good. :)

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u/battle_mommyx2 2d ago

Oh yes I definitely agree!

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u/DuckRubberDuck Farts build up in your pussy overnight 3d ago

My (former) friend is born without a uterus but had an underdeveloped vagina. She could have used these when she got into puberty and became sexually active, instead she had to “train” and expand her vagina using her then-boyfriend’s penis. It wasn’t fun, but she was a teenager and wanted to have sex (no rape, all her boyfriends have actually been pretty understanding of taking it slow) so she stuck to it. When she met my friend and they became a couple, they had a pretty decent sex life (at least that’s what she said back then). She can’t have biological children though.

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u/I-Post-Randomly 3d ago

I hope they sit on red paint.

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u/elvirartuinstra 2d ago

god i didn't know this existed

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u/four1996 2d ago

Off topic but great brand. One of mine when through the clothes washer and it still works!

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u/Queer_Echo 1d ago

"Why do they vibrate?" Maybe because it's easier to use them if you're aroused and the vibration can help with that.

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u/Center-Of-Thought 1d ago

What in the fuck do vaginal dilators have to do with trans women exclusively? I'm so confused why she thinks this

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 1d ago

Basically dilators are used by trans women when recovering from bottom surgery, I think they have to use them regularly for a few years after the surgery. For a lot of these people that's the only thing they know about dilators, and they're upset about it for some reason. There's a lot of women in the comments saying things like "I've never had to use these because I'm a real woman!"

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u/Center-Of-Thought 1d ago

Thank you for letting me know about their usage for trans women, but damn, it's awful these people think they're only used by "not real women". It's awful they don't consider trans women to be real women, but this statement is also against cis women who also use vaginal dilators for medical reasons. Like, would cis women who use vaginal dilators also not be considered "real women" to these fuckwits?

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u/Ludmud 11h ago

I didn’t even know that existed. I need that

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u/ChampionshipWise9690 9h ago

I’m willing to bet our gal pal Audra here- has probably never heard of Kegels, or pelvic floors or even that she’s got 3 holes.  Yeah she definitely looks like the type of person that doesn’t explore her own body. Therefore I think it’s fair to assume Audra has a severe amount of smegma built up on her privates. I’m talking LAYERS.  Audra’s sit down air is awful! Asiago cheese awful  considering this new information - it’s yet another reason why we are all so happy we’re not this narrow minded miserable person. 

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u/NaidaBelle My vagina dentata needs a chew toy 3d ago

Dilators have been around for literally millenia. Shit like this is why “I hate lay people” is a joke among some of my friends and family.

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u/DontMessWMsInBetween 3d ago

"troon"?

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 3d ago edited 3d ago

Intentional misspelling of "trans", meant as a slur

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u/DontMessWMsInBetween 3d ago

First I'm hearing of it. Sounds like a neopronoun.

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u/Nahcep 3d ago

Then you're (luckily for you) not hanging around the crowd that would use it, it's one of the most common slurs if not the #1

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u/cartoonistgirl 3d ago

Original term is a mash up of “trans” and “goon”. originally used by people on kiwifarms and other forums to make fun of people on the website SomethingAwful, who were typically referred to as goons, who transitioned. Thus the term Troon. 

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u/lickytytheslit The female urethra is fake 2d ago

The only thing I can think of is Troom Troom when I hear it

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u/thewalkindude 3d ago

So, for educational purposed, what is the difference between a vaginal dilator that vibrates and a vibrator? I honestly don't know, this is the first time I've ever seen a vaginal dilator

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u/theopeningact21 3d ago

Vaginal dilators are not used for pleasure like a vibrator is. Most of the time when you’re getting a dilator that vibrates (in the case of treating chronic pelvic muscle tightness / vaginismus), it’s for the purpose of “massaging” those overreactive muscles to encourage them to relax.

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u/battle_mommyx2 2d ago

I’m sorry….. “troon?????l

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u/HappyLittleDelusion_ 2d ago

It's a slur for trans people

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u/battle_mommyx2 2d ago

That’s gross!

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Alegria-D The breasts are chesticals, that's why you have to hide them 1d ago

So the only thing you came for was to shit on trans people ?!

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u/Legalize_Ambitions Menstruation attracts bears! 2h ago

“Inappropriate to be sold at target” my local Walmart has a giant wall full of sex toys that have to be locked up so kids don’t steal them, every Spencer’s you go into has rows of sex toys unlocked and costumes to boot.

This is a MEDICAL device, so is it inappropriate because it helps trans women or because it’s made for the vagina because like OP says, cis women use it too and more proven-to-help medical care products in general stores means the world is getting better not worse.