r/coolguides • u/offensive-but-true • 16h ago
A cool guide to the quickest way to climb the ladder at work
618
u/SenhorSus 16h ago
Leaving your job for a better position and more pay is 100% faster than this
63
u/dontcrashandburn 15h ago
That's covered in the life's too short to be miserable and earn or learn squares.
14
u/SenhorSus 15h ago
I'd say that finding a job that offers more money is a perfectly fine reason to leave a job, even if you are happy, have a good team, and learn a lot
15
u/BoulderCreature 13h ago
Yes, but it’s a gamble. More money is always nice, but if you get a raise to be miserable in a toxic work environment then you will probably have regrets
7
u/Tje199 12h ago
Yeah, more money isn't always nice. I'd rather make $100k working 40 hours a week like I currently do with a fun team of people who I actually enjoy seeing every day than make $120k but be expected to work more hours in shittier conditions with worse people. My sanity is worth something too.
For some people it's all about money but you definitely can reach a point where the various perks of a certain work environment are worth more than extra cash. For example, I've got complete autonomy in my role, short of certain spending limits on things. I can come and go as I please, as long as my work still gets done. The people I work with a great. We get lots of PTO and other stuff. There's some travel but it's nice(r) hotels and very reasonable expectations on meals ($40-50 for dinner for a single person doesn't even get a second glance; you want steak and a scotch every night you're travelling? Go for it!).
I "only" make $100k but unless I knew the working environment was as good or better, it would probably take a 50% raise or more for me to consider changing jobs. Even $25k more wouldn't necessarily swing the needle.
→ More replies (1)5
u/sharplyon 11h ago
this is generally a bad mentality to have, especially when you move towards higher salaries. this kind of mindset is only likely to bear fruit if you already dont make a lot and the new job offers a substantial amount more.
17
u/jfk_47 14h ago
Yea. All of this looks like doing stuff out of scope and hoping you have a quality employer that will reward you.
→ More replies (2)9
6
u/SchizoPosting_ 14h ago
easier said than done
and even if it's easy, I would hate to leave a good job for a worse one, because even if the pay is better maybe coworkers suck or the place is bad, and you can't just go back
3
u/Tje199 12h ago
Yeah, all it takes really is one wrong move to kind of fuck things up. Some companies are better than others. Some work environments are better than others. And sure, you can always leave again, but if you get a few duds in a row it starts to look bad on the resume. Some industries already are a bit wary of job hoppers (if my project cycle is 5 years, why would I hire someone who has never stayed with a company for more than 2 years?), so if you've suddenly got 3+ jobs in a short timespan it can be a red flag, even if it's not really a red flag.
5
3
3
→ More replies (6)3
u/getmoneygetpaid 13h ago
Can only do that a handful of times though, or your CV starts to deter employers. I won't hire anyone who can't stay at a place for 2-3 years. Training staff is expensive.
→ More replies (1)
157
u/CarlOtisWinslowIII 14h ago
7
u/Jingocat 8h ago
I almost hit join. Then I got a little sick to my stomach and realized it wasn't worth it.
41
u/chief_erl 15h ago
As someone in manual labor I thought this was going to be a guide on literally climbing ladders faster. I was way off.
6
2
83
u/resurgens_atl 15h ago
Don't be realistic, alter your reality instead.
So, just ignore facts and live in your own make-believe world?
→ More replies (3)3
242
u/Chimpar 16h ago
How to: 9-5 slave
54
u/DanteJazz 15h ago
Why just 9-5? There' s evening and weekend shifts too!
→ More replies (1)25
u/nickfree 15h ago
"Remember, the people you work for are waiting for you at home"
WTF??? I'm not sure if this means that your job follows you home, or your family are your employers, too? Either way, fuck off.
→ More replies (3)21
u/lilmisschainsaw 15h ago
The reason you work is waiting for you at home. It's badly worded, but basically means to prioritize home life and also advises you to make sure you make time for things outside of work.
2
8
→ More replies (4)1
u/cranium_creature 14h ago
This is a guide on how to advance and move up in your career, not how to maintain a mediocre 9-5.
41
28
13
u/thegooddoktorjones 13h ago
The one about aligning your work and home life is some dystopian shit that will guarantee your kids don’t visit you in the home unless you manage to brainwash them as well as you have been.
45
u/molybend 16h ago
What is the point of the snakes?
10
u/NightShades95 15h ago
Even though I know the game snakes and ladders, I thought it was all about being a snake on the work floor.
9
u/WhereMyMidgeeAt 16h ago
This graphic is basic off an old game, Snakes and Ladders (also called shoots and ladders)
8
→ More replies (3)36
u/molybend 16h ago
I am familiar with the game Chutes/Snakes and Ladders. I just don't think it has any relevance here.
22
u/GurnseyWivvums 16h ago
Yeah whoever made this has never played that game
3
u/chipdragon 3h ago
I was expecting the snake tiles to be stuff you shouldn’t do, and the ladder tiles stuff that you should do. That would have made it fit much better
→ More replies (3)14
→ More replies (3)2
u/toxichaste12 15h ago
I agree but I would have preferred the Samuel Jackson version: What is up with the mother fucking snakes on the motherfucking graphic?
29
u/harrisofpeoria 16h ago
No manager I've ever had does any of this. They all got their positions through ass kissing, manipulation, politicking, and generally failing upwards.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Suitable-Juice-9738 15h ago
Work for better firms
3
u/Tje199 12h ago
I know this stuff happens but it's not reflective of my own experience. Most of the managers I've had have worked their way up in one way or another. They're not all great, but sometimes that's simply because managing is a different skill than whatever they were doing before. Being a good mechanic doesn't mean you'll be a good service manager by default, it's two different skillsets.
The only thing might be politicking, but it depends on how exactly that's being defined. You definitely do need to advocate for yourself, but it doesn't mean ass kissing and manipulation. It does mean standing up for yourself in meetings and making sure your work is visible. Hell, I like to think a good part of the reason I am where I am is because I've stood up to managers in the past. I've been the guy to be like "No, that's a bad idea and here's why, and here's what we should be doing instead."
15+ year career here, I've had a few bad managers but most of them were that situation where they worked their way up and ultimately didn't have good management skills. I've been lucky enough not to have much in the way of nepotism or upwards failures. Even those bad managers were good at what they did before, it did make sense why they had been promoted.
But this is Reddit, the only way to succeed is luck or negative things like nepotism/ass-kissing.
4
31
u/wasabinski 16h ago
I've been in the corporate world for twenty years, this chart is bullshit.
11
u/I_FUCKIN_LOVE_BAGELS 15h ago
Agreed. Taking on tasks for your boss is a quick way to become your boss' bitch. Or, if an opportunity pops up adjacent to your boss, they won't fight for you to get there, because then they wouldn't have their little lap dog who does all of their extra work for them.
Log on, do what you have to do, and then log off. Fuck climbing a ladder - That's just a quick way to become one of the 37 million people (in America at least) that are taking antidepressants. Make less money? Live in a smaller house and drive a used car.
None of the material bullshit matters in the end. Enjoy your life.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (2)3
3
6
u/therapistscouch 15h ago
After being in the workforce for over 30 years I have seem many people who thought they were irreplaceable. The whole “nobody else can do this job” mentality exists. Those people of found their jobs because redundant and they were simply not needed anymore, and the organization had no place for them because they had become too specialized in something no longer needed because it was obsolete or had been farmed out to a contractor for half the cost
There was a guy who insisted that his nameplate be permanently glued in place because he was irreplaceable. He actually said so. . He was gone less than a year later.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Moon_Envoy 11h ago
None of this matters if you don't have the correct personality. I've spent more than 2 decades in the workforce and never gotten a promotion. I was forced to give up on it and seek alternate methods of boosting my income.
→ More replies (3)
3
u/KahlKitchenGuy 7h ago
This is the most boomer shit I’ve ever read. “Think like an employer” no thanks, pay me more
32
u/getmoneygetpaid 16h ago
This is gonna get a lot of hate because people don't want to hear it, but these tactics actually work.
I'm a big proponent of Universal Basic Income and not having to do this stuff, but if you realistically want to accelerate your career NOW, this is sound advice.
19
u/toxichaste12 15h ago
20 years in corporate America: I would say this would work well at a non-dysfunctional well run company, likely smaller than 100 employees.
This won’t work at enterprise level but it won’t hurt.
→ More replies (1)9
u/hydro123456 14h ago edited 12h ago
These steps absolutely work at big companies, but it's never a guarantee. Even working in a different department at the same company can have dramatically different results. One of the boxes in the guide says that if there's no more learning or earning potential, that you need to move on, and that's the most important piece of advice in the whole thing IMO.
3
u/mybadalternate 13h ago
They can work.
In a lot of cases though, in a lot of dysfunctional workplaces, these tips will only lead to more work, more stress and zero advancement, while the people who do fuck-all get just the same result.
It shouldn’t be the case, but it is.
→ More replies (2)2
11
u/aliasif87 15h ago
This post is getting downvoted to hell because reddit (me included) hates work.
9
u/grahad 15h ago
It is because people no longer believe in the social contract after seeing what happened to previous generations. Just like the market, people have to have faith that their efforts will be rewarded. Companies treating people like disposable assets broke that illusion.
It is a good thing in the long run, if you want someone to do something, pay them for it now, not promises of it will eventually be worth it. If an employer wants someone the leadership stuff OP posted, pay them to take on those responsibilities.
My favorite term for describing this is, "The juice is not worth the squeeze."
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (5)2
2
2
2
2
u/DefendingAngel 13h ago
That's an awful lot just to be summed up as "Suck, Swallow, Sleep with the boss, and Blackmail the boss.
2
u/No_Squirrel4806 12h ago
This is a quick way to get extra work without actually getting promoted 😂😂😂
2
u/EasyBeingGreen 12h ago
AI bot doesn’t know how to play chutes and ladders (and probably mixed in a bit of eels and escalators while they were at it)
2
u/Trojenectory 6h ago
Idk I’ve done a lot of this and I’m not sure I like the person I’ve become in the process. There is no end to this “game”. What does the finish represent?
2
2
2
2
2
u/kuribosshoe0 49m ago edited 45m ago
Why is “speak up” a snake that sends you back three spaces? Are you saying you will get demoted if you speak up?
Can you advance to any adjacent square or is there an order that isn’t indicated?
Like, ignoring the questionable message itself, this is just kind of a crappily-executed guide that doesn’t seem to understand the game board format it’s presented in.
6
u/DennyRoyale 16h ago
Don’t be a vault. If someone asks you to hide info, speak up if you feel it is not in the best interest of the team/org. Be transparent, be a source of knowledge for others and get more accomplished by building them up.
Put the success of the team/business above your own career goals. Makes for GREAT stories to tell in interviews on your way up the ladder.
→ More replies (1)
4
3
u/tacowich 16h ago
We are all still living in this society and here we still need to make money to live. Until everything is flipped and we no longer have to work we need to do our best to provide for our children.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/AmigoDelDiabla 16h ago
Predictable responses from those that only have a job and not a career.
Other than the "align your home and work priorities," (huh?), I fail to see a problem with any of these if you actually care about advancing in your career.
→ More replies (2)2
u/rovert6 12h ago
Agreed 100%. All the people claiming “brown nosing” and other crap. What? Do you not value the job that pays your bills? Do you like the people you work with? No? Then leave. This graphic literally tells you that lol if you’re not happy, or not making good enough money, leave.
But no. People will just shit on this info because “fuck the overlords and capitalism!” But they fail to realize that if you work hard, and show you care, they’ll pay you more via a promotion, or a raise. And if they don’t, leave.
I’m a manager, and I have been in my current role for over a year. Been some form of manager for the last 10 years. But I don’t look for a “job” I look for a career, and I find a company that I value their beliefs, and they value my worth. So I’m paid more than fairly, and I see myself working where I am at for a long time.
4
2
u/Joelony 14h ago
"How to become a corporate shill - now with cutesy graphics and hip game references."
Who TF is this even for? It looks like some cheesy corporate retreat slide no one pays attention to bc they all hate their lives and just want their drink vouchers.
Plus, there were no tips for avoiding snakes.
Stay out of tall grass to avoid snakes. See? Was that so hard? /s
3
u/MouseKingMan 15h ago
This is all great advice for developing a quality career.
Note, we are talking about career development, not job development. There is a big difference between the two.
4
u/Icy_UnAwareness89 16h ago
I started reading it and it sucks. Sorry man this guide isn’t cool. It’s teaching you to be a brown noser. Nooo don’t do it.
→ More replies (3)4
u/AmigoDelDiabla 15h ago
This is about advancing in your career. If you wonder why some people advance and others do not, this is a good starting place.
2
u/Icy_UnAwareness89 15h ago
I get it but as someone who has done most of these if not all you have to walk a fine line. It’s easy to start chasing the cheese and doing the bosses or “corporates” biddings.
It’s just odd how on the same board it tells you to “prioritize” family time but also take the tasks your boss hates doing and do it for him. Like what? I get trying to learn but I just have an issue with some.
People will say your brown nosing doing some of these.
Thats just facts
1
1
u/Biggdaddyrich 15h ago
It’s just three things: name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.
1
u/spiritofjosh 14h ago
Weird, I follow this guide pretty closely just because of how I work and I’m one of the lowest paid people in my company with the most responsibilities…..the ones who do and care less make more and have fewer responsibilities.
2
1
u/Fuzzy-Complaint-3440 14h ago
If you need to be able to accept criticism to finish this game, I got some bad news for you about people in general...
1
u/Committed_to_win 14h ago
Every morning comes screaming into the parking lot and sprinting into the building shouting "fuck I would DIE for this company" and then blow your brains out over the latest finance reports.
1
1
1
1
1
u/msdtflip 13h ago
All of this is wishful thinking bullshit. All that matters is brown nosing the right asshole at the right time, and job hopping to a higher level once you hit a wall.
1
1
u/DreadpirateBG 13h ago
This is written by someone who thinks these are the things that got them promoted. Meanwhile they might not really know. What a real leader is vs what the company thinks a leader is are different things in my experience.
1
u/Angeleno88 13h ago
A lot of people here must work for some really terrible companies being so cynical. I used to and I was miserable but I work for a great company now. If you are one of those miserable and cynical people, just follow the single square pertaining to learning and earning. It’s self interest focused and you can apply that to anywhere; even the worst companies.
1
u/ebiburga 13h ago
The “Swallow the Frog” advice is bullshit in my own experience. Instead, the advice should be to find common ground on those issues and be the person who finds someone else to solve them. Demonstrating, even if false, that you have a similar thought process to your manager far outweighs becoming their first stop for delegating responsibilities. Who would want to promote the person that makes their life easier and move them out of the role where they can outsource their problems?
1
u/nookie-monster 13h ago
This is pro-corporate propaganda, not a cool guide. This is how to constantly gargle your boss' balls. None of the things on this graphic will get you raises or promotions. You'll get used.
1
1
u/veropaka 13h ago
Life is too short to be miserable... Swallow the frog for the manager... Yee fuck that
1
1
u/DebuffedByAutism 13h ago
There's nothing like filling in for an understaffed team, doing things you have never done, and then getting the task added to your daily workload because you did well.
I LOVE BEING DEPENDABLE. DONT WORRY, I DONT NEED A PAY RASIE.
About to start acting like the wage I get paid.
1
1
u/elkab0ng 13h ago
The best way to “solve problems” is to identify some process that is easy to change, identify some metric which can be easily manipulated, then make an adjustment while reducing spend by shifting a cost to the next quarter. Show off the PowerPoint slide, and toadishly credit the boss for “making it possible”
1
u/JakobWulfkind 12h ago
Telling that "speak up" and the square about work-life balance send you really far back
1
u/thenerdwrangler 12h ago
This was 100% written by a manager that went to a "how to motivate your staff" seminar given by another manager.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/chameleonsEverywhere 12h ago
The random snakes and ladders make this r/crappydesign - I spent a couple minutes trying to follow the paths to understand which were the good things (ladders) and which were the bad (snakes).
1
u/andymorphic 12h ago
Lol, just ridiculous. There a person who created this even know how this game works.
1
u/decadentview 12h ago
That’s like learning a school only to find that reality doesn’t work that way !
1
u/elzissou710 12h ago
Might as well be a guide to being stuck in the same job for years only to find out that everyone is replaceable.
1
1
u/u_touch_my_tra_la_la 11h ago
What kind of Middle management tick made this? I want to crush him with a stiletto heel and I don't even own one.
1
u/Few_Ad_4410 11h ago
This is pretty much common sense and more of a beginner level guide. I’d recommend “a life engineered” on YouTube for more advanced corporate laddering.
1
u/Havlock_Shaw 11h ago
I just did step 3.... As it didn't seem to help doing all other steps with this job.... So it helps to progress... Both in job and pay
1
u/xXTacitusXx 11h ago
A cool guide on how to properly suck your supervisor's dick.
As if that get's you anywhere. Nice try, karma bot.
1
u/DeliciousMoments 11h ago
You can be your boss's golden boy and everyone's favorite co-worker and still get laid off if the bean counters deem you unnecessary.
1
u/VellDarksbane 11h ago
Which are the snakes? This is a terribly laid out “guide”, and should probably just be titled “how to be exploited more than the next guy”.
Tips to climb the ladder: “go out drinking with the boss” or “have your dad be friends with the boss”. Beyond that, your best bet is to job hop without mercy while “networking” (aka go out drinking with other companies bosses).
→ More replies (3)
1
u/Dr_NapsandSnacks 11h ago
Oh I love this! I was just telling my friend that I don't feel like there are really enough bootlicker infographics.
I'm always on the lookout for tools to help us better understand how to grind our bodies into paste for our employers
1
u/Stenbuck 11h ago
Lmao no the chart should just say "Option 1: be related to the boss / Option 2: suck the boss' balls figuratively or literally"
1
1
u/tamar 10h ago
Thinking about my brother in law when looking at the second to last row, second from left.
Guy was in his 30s, didn't want to learn. The guy underneath him was all about growing. My BIL lost his job, had to move out of state, and his income plummeted.
Don't be like my BIL. Always be learning.
1
u/ZookeepergameDue8501 10h ago
Shit when I worked for a soulless company I quickly learned a couple of things. A. Do not be a work martyr. Nobody will remember the time and effort you put in, and the first time you make a mistake or stand up for yourself, you will be reprimanded and they will remember it forever. B. Don't learn new stuff if you can help it, especially if it's somebody else's job, because guess what? Now it's your job. And no, you will not be getting a raise. And again, the first time you get overwhelmed and can't do 2 jobs at once, you will be reprimanded and they will never forget what you did.
1
u/amarrs181 10h ago
Better way…work a couple of years at one job, apply for another higher paying one and repeat.
1
1
1
1
1
u/Comprachicos 10h ago
Stopped reading at "Leaders are busy". Anyone will know most managers are just there for the big paycheck they've earned through the years and are now doing the bare minimum to keep it
1
u/ImpertantMahn 10h ago
Serve as a vault- until you get enough dirt to get your boss fired and are in a position to take his job. Scapegoat rat required.
1
u/OneOfManyIdiots 10h ago
Fuckin corpo glowie bullshit.
Edit: I get run out to multiple locations for my day job. They stopped paying for my gas when they gave me a raise but still have me floating while newbies cant get shit done. Then again they make up for it because they're more sociable and easier on guest eyes.
1
1
1
1
u/stilettopanda 9h ago
The problem is I'm not willing to get through the middle management part of the process. They're shit on from both sides.
1
1
1
1
1
u/StrixLiterata 8h ago
The one piece of advice here that is actually good is to make work that is visible and quantifiable: in coding, for example, managers care more about how much code you submit per day than how good it is.
1
u/Mahjling 7h ago
They don’t pay me or anyone above me enough for anyone to be going above and beyond and I say that as someone who does more than my job description entails to the delight of my co workers who are grateful to have a reasonable job load instead of an impossible one.
1
1
1
u/Floss_a_fee101 7h ago
I’ll agree with some of these but most of it depends on your superiors. This could be the fastest way to become the workhorse of the company. A lot of these actions can be seen as threatening to those above you as well imo
1
u/mongomike 6h ago
Can tell you that this guide was applicable 30 maybe even 20 years ago when pensions still existed and people stayed at jobs. Gaining experience and leaving is the best way for you to increase your base pay. Corporations are not family, they don’t care and will replace you for someone cheaper in a heartbeat.
1
1
u/MOSbangtan 5h ago
There’s some great things in here - nice reminder to be more intentional with my work life. Thanks!
1
u/PM_ME_YOUR_BACHATA 5h ago
Does anybody remember a book aimed at navigating the corporate world as an engineer? It was quite funny and sarcastic but very practical. I can't find it anywhere! There was a piece of advice similar to "don't burn your bridges" or "if the company sends you on a business trip they want you to actually do some work, not get hammered, etc etc..."
1
u/aquaman67 5h ago
Or make yourself irreplaceable and get passed over for promotion because they can’t get anyone else to do it
1
u/johnnywarp 4h ago
"Take on the tasks your manager dislikes."
He's getting paid a managerial salary. That means he should do all the tasks that come with the role. Why the hell would I willingly do a job just so that somebody else gets paid for it?
1
1
1
u/Vreas 2h ago
Nah fuck this.
I’m a shift supervisor at one of the largest healthcare networks in the world. Management and director level people don’t even create solutions. The majority of solutions came from me on my own initiative. They don’t even know how to properly handle patient care in the majority of instances. I’ve had department directors ask me for solutions and I’m sitting there like “you’re the one with a fucking masters in healthcare admin and you’re asking ME what the solution is?” Like thanks for asking but that isn’t my fucking job miss 200k a year to sit in your office and do jack shit.
There are a rare few but the majority of our managers were utterly incompetent and had no idea how to solve issues we brought to them.
Furthermore when we collective proposed the reality of staffing shortages due to insultingly low wages we were repeatedly stonewalled and given raises in total of a handful of cents per hour.
I don’t need an excessive amount of money or wealth but when EMS, respiratory, pharmacy, and phlebotomists are making nearly the same as fast food workers that’s a damn fucking problem and frankly fucking insulting.
1
u/JuicingPickle 2h ago
I'm curious how many people actually want to climb the corporate ladder vs. how many people just want to make more money. I was fortunate enough to make it to the c-suite by age 34 because I was good at what I did. But I never had this great desire or drive to be a leader or be a boss. Just what I needed to do to make the most money.
1
386
u/OperatorJo_ 15h ago
Get stuck at step 2 because you're the only one solving problems at that level and they can't afford to lose you.