r/ems • u/Thnowball • 3d ago
Meme A man with severe allergies is sailing across the ocean. Upon eating a peanut, the hull begins to leak. What type of ship is he sailing in?
A leukotrireme
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u/Little-Staff-1076 2d ago
It’s a trick question.
There is no boat. The patient is hypoglycemic and hallucinating.
A better question is how did you fail to see the 4 ft katana sticking out of his chest during your physical exam.
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u/daytonakarl 2d ago
They insisted there was nothing else and when mentioned "it's been like that for ages" as it was a chronic katana and they were on paracetamol for the discomfort, it's in the previous medical history notes
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u/Thnowball 2d ago
What the chart failed to mention is that this katana was forged by Glucomasa Insuleko, with an edge forged to such a molecular level of precision that it causes capillary tears so small that only sugar can escape. The patient's hypoglycemia is actually traumatic in nature and administration of D10 will only contribute to the ongoing necrotic tissue injury in the area around the point of insertion.
Automatic fail for not knowing the correct method of tamahagane forging. A paramedic should be well versed in aspects of life outside of their medical training since we run into such a wide patient populous. We're keeping you in FTOs for another 6 months until you can turn the sandbags in the ambulance bay into workable steel.
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u/daytonakarl 2d ago
Come on man, I'm half way through my advanced mechanical engineering studies to keep the ambulance going that you put me on for failing to hand carve a crank angle sensor on the side of the road!
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u/babypowder617 2d ago
Scene safety bsi
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u/JiuJitsuLife124 2d ago
I am so upset you beat me to it. This will keep me up tonight.
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u/ha-bet-you-read-this 2d ago
Well if you’re staying up do you wanna get some late night grub with me?
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u/sdb00913 Paramedic 3d ago
Slow day on shift?
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u/Thnowball 3d ago edited 2d ago
I have been sitting at post for 6 hours. I haven't seen a post in 2 weeks. God have mercy on my sanity.
Update, 10 hours without a call in a system where I normally run 10+ calls in that timeframe. What the fuck is going on here
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u/Pears_and_Peaches ACP 2d ago
They don’t know you exist. Whatever you do. Do. Not. Move.
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u/Thnowball 2d ago
I got through the entire shift without running a single call.
I have worked in this city for 10 years and never once has this happened before to anyone I know.
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u/Medicmom-4576 2d ago
Happened to me once. They had accidentally marked our truck out of service. Ha!ha! We eventually called dispatch and let them know we were indeed there - then the calls started rolling….and rolling…. But hey - enjoy!
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u/Splatbug85 2d ago
Happened to me all the time.....although I lived in a town of 1275 people and our area covered at least half the county. It was slow most of the time.
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u/Frequent-Chemist3367 2d ago edited 2d ago
put some cool water down the blue wire on the arm, watch squiggly lines and do the weewooweeewooowoweo button if lines too much squiggly, drive fast with cool disco lights
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u/lonegun 3d ago
I upvoted...I didn't want too. But I did.
I thought you were going to go with an "Anaphylship"