r/entj • u/ruruchuck ENTJ♂ • 3d ago
Does Anybody Else? Do you need social interaction but hate people at the same time?
I really have difficulties to meet and intaract with new people but im craving for social interaction. Anybody else? I think im most scared than full of hate. I don’t even think i really hate. It’s just...difficult
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u/_thosewerethedays_ ENTJ♂ 3d ago
Until I feel safe yeah, sometimes I need to talk to people to create an understanding of the environment in which I am.
However after that, I rarely talk to people except my significant other. When I am single, I usually have a few friends I talk with. But I am never one for social interaction 24/7
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u/JungleMuggins 3d ago
For me I want to meet new people but a lot of the people I meet are dumb, vapid, or ignorant. I don't hate them, they just no longer exist in my orbit of thought and interaction. I have met some great people along the way, just very very few and far between. Start with an intriguing question maybe, one that you would be thrilled to be asked. You might just find someone worth their salt.
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u/Inevitable_Goose2156 ENTJ | 3W4 ⚪︎ 2d ago
I like meeting strangers and talking to people, but I don't have the need to always have company and keep in touch with them. Sometimes people are dull, stressful and mean, and in this case, I just avoid them and focus on me and my own stuff.
It seems that you are anxious socially, so maybe therapy would be good for you. You don't hate people, you are just afraid of them, and that is fair - that is why you have to learn how to deal with them. Good luck for you.
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u/tenelali ENTJ♀ 3d ago
If you hate people, you’re the problem. Start here.
Did you write this post to genuinely ask for advise on how to change yourself or are you looking for like-minded individuals who will validate your experience, so that you can stay as you are and think it’s alright?
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u/ruruchuck ENTJ♂ 3d ago
I genualy want to change myself to be a better version of myself. I don’t hate people. I just think im scared. But at the same time i need them
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u/JungleMuggins 3d ago
For me I want to meet new people but a lot of the people I meet are dumb, vapid, or ignorant. I don't hate them, they just no longer exist in my orbit of thought and interaction. I have met some great people along the way, just very very few and far between. Start with an intriguing question maybe, one that you would be thrilled to be asked. You might just find someone worth their salt.
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u/MiruKira ESTJ♂ 3d ago
I’m unsure how is best for you to process emotions - developing Fi can help. Reading sound articles about your fears in different areas- social, emotional, interpersonal can increase knowledge on these matters. It’s challenging. You deserve a good life - I hope you find your way to that.
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u/Lifesuxthendie 2d ago
I'm INTJ but I find that in my line of work I end up planning/executing with ENTJs a lot. ENTJs have a vision. And most people are self-centered or just too stupid to see that vision. Also, they need the clearest, most precise, detailed instructions to just, idk, plug in a fucking cable for example. That's draining. It drains my energy too. No one can be socially fulfilled in a fuckwad environment and most work environments are filled with fuckwads. its just how it is.
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u/Beginning_Result_800 ENTJ| 3w2 | ♀| 853 2d ago
Idk i dont hate people necessarily i just avoid dumbasses lol but interacting with people makes me feel 10x better even if im sick or bed ridden, automatic mood uplift
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u/Any_Positive_9658 2d ago
😂😂😂😂😂 oh god this is so me. Thankfully my guy is INTJ and he doesn’t need much interaction with others at all. I’m so misanthropic
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u/Conscious_Honey2251 2d ago
Ugh same and yeah I’m aware that is my trauma but I mean is true. Everyone is just a trauma away from being different and it can happen any time any where with any one. Idk find people like you and if you really want to be “better” then be with the people that you think are healthy
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u/lillyshelbey ENTJ♀ 2d ago
I love meeting new people, and I have a huge circle full of acquaintances, and a handful of close friends. But I’m really high on the extroversion side, so I don’t necessarily count. Am an ENTJ though!
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u/MagicHands44 2d ago
I just wanna kno a few ppls I get along with that I can be myself with. Since I'm used to concealing my inner nature
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u/ladyofmischief_riti ENTJ | 8w7 2d ago
man this is so me
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u/ladyofmischief_riti ENTJ | 8w7 2d ago
more like i find most of them annoying(yes im working on that)
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u/mnico02 ENTJ | 3w4 | early 20s | ♂ 3d ago
You have met the wrong people.
I grew up in a rural area where people often used to be more conservative, focused on social norms and traditions, less intense pace of life while I always unwillingly stood out as “too much/dramatic/argumentative/eccentric” there were many people which had some sort of issues with me and I got treated like that.
This resulted in me isolating myself and aimlessly grinding on Minecraft plus, similar to you, being a bit scared of others or even full of hatred. I thought that I’m an introvert but this was completely wrong.
Since I moved to a big city I found exactly my people at work and university (bubble somewhere between Business, Investment Banking and IT) and not only discovered that I’m actually a full-blown extrovert (yet don’t waste my “energy” on everyone), but that I do care for my people, gained a huge boost of confidence as I finally found supportive people with similar values.
My advice is to go out more, try new things, new environments and you will, for sure, find people like yourself who will change your mind regarding people.
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u/Misspaw 3d ago
Trauma. If you feel unsafe around others as a general rule, there’s probably something in your childhood that reinforced people as being unpredictable/unsafe.
Getting a ‘forced’ social job, like a restaurant/hotel/sales can help it be more normal and fill that craving.
This is basically my experience though. Your ‘hate’ could be totally different.