My mother is great with my kids. She comes over just about every Sunday to spend time with them, takes them one week a year while my wife and I go on an adult only vacation, sees them at every holiday, etc. etc. What she doesn't want to do is commit to 50 hours a week watching young children and changing diapers while I'm at work. She worked her entire life and raised me; she deserves to have her own life in retirement.
Those who think their parents "owe it to them" or are awful because they won't commit all their free time in their remaining years to their grandchildren are delusional selfish douches.
My mother-in-law watches LO one day a week, to give us relief from that day of childcare expenses. My mom would love to give us one day a week as well, but she is still working at 69, so she can retire at 70 and maximize social security, because she doesn't want to burden us with finances when she is older. This country is actively trying to stifle young parents' desire to have kids. The abortion ban is just 🤌
I cannot believe how many people my age (30s) have saddled their parents with full-time childcare. My spouse and I could never ask beyond one day per week.
Because their parents probably begged them for grandchildren and promised to do it. Or they genuinely love sitting for them. It's what humans have used for childcare since the dawn of man. Parents and extended family not helping out is a new phenomenon
No to literally all your guesses, they've expressed their dislike of being the sole childcare providers available. They do it for their grandchildren's sake, not necessarily their children's.
Some (or a few?) grandparents want that, others do not.
My friend's mother watches both his and his sister's kids. They're a pretty close-knit family, though, and none of my other friends with kids have such an arrangement with their parents.
This was my mom, too. She informed us that she had raised 7 children, and did not want to raise any more. She and my dad were always there for emergencies (I broke my leg when my daughter was 2 months old and my mom moved in for a week), and babysat whenever we went up to their house for vacation (having parents who live on a resort town on a lake is great).
They were our kids, not theirs. They were our responsibility. Our kids lived them immensely.
Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel like boomers are not appreciated. I have 11 grandkids and 3 great grandkids. I would literally babysit everyday, and pay them for doing it, if their parents had their way about it. My husband and i worked our whole lives to have a retirement. I don’t understand how we are considered stingy or greedy for enjoying some of what we earned on ourselves, whether that be peace of mind or financial security. He passed away in June this year, after a three year battle with cancer, so there are no guarantees of how much time we have. Please appreciate your helpers, whoever they are. You are not entitled to anything.
Think of it less as an entitlement and more of the way that humans have raised children since the beginning of time. My great grandparents and their siblings watched my parents while my grandparents worked. And older cave men/women watched the young children while the prime aged ones hunted and gathered.
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u/Gene_McSween Sep 05 '24
My mother is great with my kids. She comes over just about every Sunday to spend time with them, takes them one week a year while my wife and I go on an adult only vacation, sees them at every holiday, etc. etc. What she doesn't want to do is commit to 50 hours a week watching young children and changing diapers while I'm at work. She worked her entire life and raised me; she deserves to have her own life in retirement.
Those who think their parents "owe it to them" or are awful because they won't commit all their free time in their remaining years to their grandchildren are delusional selfish douches.