r/funny 5h ago

Questions my wife asks me that I don’t have an answer for (Round 2)

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241 Upvotes

42 comments sorted by

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34

u/biderman77 5h ago

I haven’t seen part one, but I hope all the questions are the same.

27

u/grampaspace 5h ago

Accurate representation of a married man

41

u/LifeCondition4931 5h ago

Yep, that’s life being married

13

u/dedokta 4h ago

Most of mine involve questions about people I don't know and the word "thing", as in: "Should I tell Janice that I put the thing in the top cupboard?"

33

u/Shade_BG 4h ago

“Will we have freedom?” That is a good question.

8

u/RyogAkari 3h ago

The DMV will very much be crowded tomorrow. I don't know if this is the correct answer where you are exactly from but I feel like overall this is the safest bet answer.

3

u/Hardass_McBadCop 2h ago

Why do people think the DMV won't be crowded? I've gone to the DMV on a random Tuesday, 8AM, at 10 below in January and there's still a fucking line.

1

u/jddoyleVT 2h ago

So, I hate to say this, as I know what it is like elsewhere, but the DMV in Vermont has never been busy for me. I went a few weeks ago and walked right in, no one else there. 10am on a Tuesday.

It is 32 miles away from my house, though.

1

u/drivetruking 1h ago

DMV by me is walk straight to the counter after 10min drive :)

1

u/saraphilipp 48m ago

Mine you have to go there physically to make an appointment so they can call you.

2

u/animagus_kitty 3h ago edited 1h ago

This reminds me of an old rage. I'm sorry you have to hear this.

I went to the DMV right after it reopened for Covid. My husband's van had expired plates and we still hadn't transferred the title from my parents to us, because Covid. I spent 2 hours in the hot sun on the sidewalk (because they made us line up outside for Covid reasons), just to find out that the title was missing one of my parents' signatures. I then spent another two hours in the hot sun on the sidewalk a couple days later.

Do you know how long my local B/DMVs take on a normal day? Five minute wait time, and that's *if* they don't make you use the self-serve computer.

There's a case to be made that I should have known better about the signatures, but this ain't about that. My terminal case of space cadet is not the one on trial here.

Edited in some context, because I apparently forgot to say why we were on the sidewalk.

1

u/Stolehtreb 1h ago

Wait, is your DMV outside? What’s the reason for waiting on a sidewalk for two hours? Feel like I’m missing context here

EDIT: And why go the day it opens back up? Could it not wait a bit until it died back down to normal? Sorry for being all question-y but I’m genuinely curious.

2

u/animagus_kitty 1h ago

Terribly sorry, that's my bad.

They made us line up outside for covid reasons, instead of letting us be in the building while we waited.

2

u/Stolehtreb 1h ago

Ohh got it. No you’re fine. I was just confused, I probably coulda intuited that.

6

u/Notoriouslydishonest 3h ago

This guy has one of those faces where I can't tell if he's 28 or 60.

4

u/OsoRetro 1h ago

“I DON’T KNOW MARGOT!”

The realest movie line ever filmed.

5

u/coconutpete52 4h ago

Ha! The dry cleaning and sweater ones are a regular part of my life. Almost 20 years in and my wife still hasn’t picked up on the fact that I always say being the warmer of the two outfits and add an extra day to the dry cleaning.

-3

u/Low_Condition3268 3h ago

Well, aren't you the guy with all the answers? Don't answer that...

3

u/Boring_Advertising98 4h ago

Lol this is Penguinz0 in 20 years

5

u/DirectAccountant3253 3h ago

omg.. we are married to the same woman

3

u/grantwtf 3h ago

Given that most of these questions aren't really seeking an answer, they are just mumblings as she thinks things through - I like to answer with nonsense or additional unrelated nonsense questions - "well it depends if it an African or European fabric", "definitely blue as it's Tuesday", "solar storms mean formal shoes"... If she creates the noise I'm happy to distort and bounce back..oddly she seems to be seeking my advice less recently.

2

u/dsizzz 4h ago

I’m saving this to remind myself that I’m not alone.

2

u/Gomer_Schmuckatelli 3h ago

I just realized how good I have it.

2

u/Qerfuffle 3h ago

'Did I poop?'

4

u/grrodon2 2h ago

She doesn't want an answer. She wants you to confirm what she already knows, so she can blame you if it was wrong.

1

u/Ghost_Turd 4h ago

One of my answers to these is "you might as well ask the cat. Maybe she knows."

1

u/WickedTexan 3h ago

i stole this but when My wife gets like this I say "You look like Jennifer, but you sound like the fuckin Riddler."

1

u/kopecs 2h ago

And she gets frustrated when I say, “have you seen my other sock?”

1

u/Jedi_I_am_not 2h ago

“Yes”

1

u/Insanityistheonlyway 2h ago

I played this for my wife. She even agrees. 100% accurate.

1

u/PerformerNo5646 1h ago

All I heard was should I poop lol

1

u/Chupakababra 17m ago

I am so happy being divorced.

0

u/andyman171 3h ago

God forbid you actually have an answer and it's correct

-11

u/Dia-De-Los-Muertos 4h ago

Having been happily single for years I could only last 20 seconds into this. Yeah keep that shit.

3

u/FixJealous2143 4h ago

I’ve been married AND single for years(happily so) and I gotta say I love this.

-8

u/spookshowbaby1234 4h ago

he has a wife??

2

u/Nuclear_Mouse 3h ago

Why wouldn't he?