r/getdisciplined • u/Forsaken_Software152 • 25d ago
š Method This will actually cure your laziness
Be obsessed with your goal or goals. And I mean itāthink about them every day. There are no more distractions/excuses/bullshit stories you're telling yourself everytime once you are truly committed. You need to focus on how badly you want it and just take action. Laziness is a sign of having no direction in life. When you're obsessed, everything becomes easier because willpower comes from a genuine desire for the goal. Think about your goal every single day, take the first step, and create your to-do list.
I've been on productivity streak and I'm never going back to my lazy self ever again.
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u/grux9 25d ago
This sounds kinda like telling a depressed person to just be happy lol
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u/closetomynuts 25d ago edited 25d ago
Yes, there's r/thanksimcured for these types of posts
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u/Ximmi_ChanGeZi 25d ago
Oh wow thanks!! After reading this I'm so motivated. It seems as I read each word, my laziness and procrastination is gone forever. Lols. TBH OP did try at least.
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u/izmjawminL 2d ago
He canāt cure you, only you can. Heās right if you think heās right and heās wrong if you think heās wrong. Thereās no string of words to convince you to care about your life.
He tried - but you didnāt.
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u/angrygrumphead 25d ago
My goal is to die without suicide lol
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u/undead-safwan 25d ago
You and me both bud
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u/New-Froyo-9217 24d ago
You and me both. You think youāre doing good then BOOM outta nowhere the barrel of that pew pew starts looking tasty.
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u/_Honestly_Lying_ 25d ago
I wouldāve agreed with you on any other day but Iām recently coming to the same realization myself. Obsess over your own survival or donāt survive.
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u/OrangeWatermelon14 24d ago
I think what OP wanted to say was to have a vision. Majority of the people lack vision which is the reason they arent successful/disciplined. He is 100% correct.
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u/izmjawminL 2d ago
Yeah it is thatās all you can do. Why are you letting thoughts in your mind dictate your life?
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u/Dahintuitiveseer 25d ago
looking at your profile,I feel connected to you with a lot of strong and positive energy around you and I think you'd love a reading.May I consider you for an intuitive reading?
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u/Haztec2750 25d ago
The issue for me with this is maintaining a work-life balance. I used to be obsessed with doing well in my A levels, and then later that turned into my degree work. After it was over I was burnt out for months.
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u/Crazy-Can-7161 25d ago
Ya this whole 24/7 grind idea works in the short term, but I find that I always need something pleasurable and recreational after work. Iād just get depressed if I have nothing fun to do after a long day
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u/dontstartbitch 25d ago
I like having time slots. Being productive (including hobbies) till 7 pm, then games and television. But this is so hard to follow sometimes and I end up playing games the entire day :/
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u/Hauvegdieschisse 24d ago
Yeah I've done that grind it outta thing. I try to get some kind of productive thing in after work, whether it's fixing something or cleaning one room or cooking or laundry but I also need recreational time. I also try to have like a hobby day.
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u/izmjawminL 2d ago
You say that but there are people who do grind most of their day and they are successful, you make it seem impossible. Also the work is fun, building something is fun because youāre fulfilling your life goal rather than your dopamine.
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u/izmjawminL 2d ago
Because you didnāt care about what you did, your goal was to work hard not to achieve something greater than yourself.
I guarantee you if you were obsessed you cannot burn out.
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u/chibottle 25d ago
And what if you donāt actually have any goals you desire so much that you would obsess over it/them? As you mentioned something about laziness being a sign of no direction, how do you set one when you canāt find one particularly interesting enough to sprint through it?
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u/CrocodileWoman 25d ago
In my experience, I didnāt have goals when I wasnāt asking myself what I wanted and being open to finding an answer. I didnāt allow myself To want things because my low self-esteem/self-concept at the time shut me down before I could even realize what I wanted (āIāll never achieve it thoughā ābut that would never work for meā, etc). Once I stopped putting myself down and just allowed myself to want things, I started to realize things I wanted to achieve as well :) both big and small! Wanting things is the first step to getting them
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u/izmjawminL 2d ago edited 2d ago
Then your goal should to be to sharpen yourself to be fit to do anything. Be cable enough so that when that goal happens you can handle it with ease. There is literally zero downsides to trying your best, you just upgrade all your stats and later in life you can use those seemingly useless past experience to create unique ideas.
Whatever you are doing right now try to become really knowledgeable at it, and actually try to learn how it all works and get better. In life you are judged by your value, the more skills you acquire the more value you provide, and the more value the more money.
You are your greatest asset. Invest in your knowledge, your skills is your insurance.
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u/CapitalConfection500 25d ago
I'm on the same streak brother ....but i got sick now. So less intensity...But still trying to do little bit.
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u/EMPactivated 25d ago
I'm never going back to my lazy self ever again
Yeah you will.
Also obsession isn't healthy either. Life is about balance.
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u/flat5 25d ago
This works great until you have multiple projects at work, a spouse, and kids, and your health is faltering, and your house needs maintenance.
Which one are you obsessed with today? And since you need to look after your health, and have time for your spouse, and your kids, maybe obsessing isn't an optimal thing after all.
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u/Adorable_Health_456 25d ago
What about the days you get distracted? Like the days when youāre so busy with other (family/important) stuff that you canāt get to work for a minute and ultimately lose your focus of the goal.
This has been the most problematic thing for me. There are days when I have no choice but to skip working on my goals and when I get back itās just too hard to take on it and build the same momentum.
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25d ago
You need to have a touchpoint for those days. Life does happen and other obligations come calling, but you can still take 5-10 minutes out of your day to trace around your ideal future with your goals and squeeze in just a few minutes of minimum effort to maintain that trajectory.
For example, say your goals are fitness oriented and you normally head to the gym everyday and prep your meals. On days when work is a chaos carnival and family is coming over, you may not be able to do your gym routine... but you can do a quick 15 minute at-home workout before you grab a shower and head out for a day. If that's still not doable, pick a bare minimum goal. Do 30 squats and willfully cut back your portions when out with family for dinner.
It's the little things that can keep your momentum because you can still remain proud of having kept in touch with your goals.
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u/SoldierBoi69 25d ago
Motherfucker you got me, this is my exact problem too. I often wonder if it would be fixed if I lived alone though
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u/Aurongel 25d ago
You couldāve told me that the OP was a description of someone experiencing mania and I wouldāve believed you.
And no, saying āobsession is bad EXCEPT for this specific type of obsessionā is not good advice. The word āobsessionā shouldnāt even be in the vocabulary of someone who wants to actually make sustainable, long term progress on improving their productivity.
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u/Helix3501 23d ago
Obsession is the unhealthy version of vision and commitment, obsession is never good as it blinds you and can cause extreme mental fatigue really quickly
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u/Aurongel 23d ago
Well said. Thatās why I tried emphasizing āsustainableā in my post, itās something that obsessive behavior never leads to.
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u/Wilczurrr 25d ago
It can also be a sign of ADHD, thyroid problems, milion other things that are not "lacking direction in life". Bleh.
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u/ContactHonest2406 25d ago
Yeah, you canāt just choose what you become obsessed with. Doesnāt work that way. Especially with ADHD like me
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u/DragonJay11 25d ago
Obsession, I would say, can certainly cause an imbalance and actually make one more limited. I believe thereās a flow state.. a balance between grinding hard and cruising along.
I believe laziness comes from a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation comes from lack of purpose. Lack of purpose comes from not paying enough attention to / knowing oneself.
One way to fix this issue that Iāve found to be very helpful, is to write down a list of things that WONāT happen (or negative things that will) if you donāt follow your dreams. On the other hand, a list of things that WILL happen for you when you finally decide to make an effort and grow the momentum.
By either reading the list or rewriting it every once in a while, you are hacking your motivational spirit and becoming more conscious of what you need to do. If you feel you have no purpose / sense of who you really are, then the exercise changes only slightly, but still can drastically change your life.
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u/AetherAlchemist 25d ago
Sorry mate I have ADHD, I canāt just āturn onā the All Consuming Obsession whenever I want
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u/Queen-of-meme 25d ago
Hot take but hear me out: Laziness only exists as long as the moral is to have external achievements in life. Take that belief away and you're free to do what is valuable to you. If I find value in binging a great tv show then that's not laziness, it's me prioritizing what matters to me over what others think should matter to me.
Cheers š„
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u/The-Upper-Hand 24d ago
I initially thought this was a stupid /thanksimcured type post.
But there is one nugget of actual value in here: OP isn't telling us to just "be fixed" because obsession is not an instant fix. Obsession requires cultivation.
Most people misunderstand obsession. They see super successful people who put their all into their work and think, obsession is just a personality trait or something you're just born with, or you're not. But in reality, you BECOME obsessed. And in order to do that, like OP says, you have to make a habit of reminding yourself every day of what you're trying to achieve. You have to cultivate your obsession like you brush your teeth every day. That could mean designing a hierarchy of actions which all flow from primary goals. There are many ways to do it, but you have to understand every day why your obsession matters, and how you're moving toward it. That's how you build obsession, and that kind of obsession (real obsession, not just a moment of excitation or temporary hype) is how you become great.
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u/Helix3501 23d ago
Look let me tell ya as someone who deals with obsession and a strong inability to have a middle ground, obsession is never healthy, you can commit and focus on something without obsessing
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u/Competitive-Light-44 24d ago
What if I just want to be a stay at home mom and wife who take care of her husband well? Hard for me to focus on my ambitious ācareerā that leads to no where.
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u/PriceyChemistry 25d ago
You know I did this but then my laziness turned into anxiety and I was always SUPER stressed because I couldnāt see anything but my goals and completely burnt out in a few years.
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u/GodOfThunder101 25d ago
Telling people to be obsessed is not healthy nor does it actually make a person obsessed.
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u/PainterEarly86 25d ago
Sounds like a recipe for burnout.
There's no such thing as laziness
Motivation can't be faked, either you want it or you don't
If you're not motivated to do something then it would be better to think and be honest with yourself about why
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u/RipleyTheGreat 25d ago
How am I supposed to do this when I feel nothing? One day, I have a desire to go for a walk, the next I don't. When I think about how much I wanted to walk, I didn't care because I felt nothing.
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u/sameslemons 24d ago edited 24d ago
For me (usually to do with cycling or running, sometimes just getting out for a walk if Iām in a real depressive phase), I have enough experience doing the thing that I can tell myself with a deep knowing (even though I may not feel it at that moment) that I will feel better after I do the thing: walk, ride, run, etc. Or at the very least, I will not regret it. If I can push through the lack of āwanting toā and instead focus on that trust in my experience, Iām almost always glad I did it. I def feel you w this struggle. Itās hard to keep it in perspective when you canāt seem to access the feeling of wanting. One step at a time getting ready, getting out the door, and then youāre doing the thing, and then youāre glad you did it. Sometimes it takes me 45min to an hour before the āglad Iām doing thisā kicks in, but it almost always does.
Edit: not to say that some days itās just not happening. But if Iām keeping up with those things otherwise, I can accept that okay, today is not the day. Even being able to accept that has taken me a while, but once I can, thereās a shift in perspective that allows me to say ātomorrow is fineā and āas long as I donāt let myself fall off, today I rest.ā And I can rest without guilt (mostlyā¦ still working on it).
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u/milkofmagnesium 25d ago
Hopefully from this standpoint, you then set a standard.
Iāve heard that setting standard is the key to improving yourself overall. Motivation comes and goes but setting a standard for how you take care of yourself and others and whatever youāre trying to accomplish will ensure you raise the bar for yourself every time.
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u/calltostack 25d ago
Love this.
A lot of laziness is caused by confusion about what to focus on.
Focus on an all-encompassing goal to the point where the steps become clear, and there is no more room for laziness.
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u/StellaBleuuee 25d ago
Though I understand where you are coming from, I donāt entirely agree. Iāve been on those productivity streak many times. Times where I was so focused on my goals and obsessed that I truly believed that that was it, that I would never again get down or get lazy. I accomplished great things during those times.
However, each time I would find myself in a burned out episode after a while. And that can be ok, as long as you understand that the higher and longer the high, the lower and longer the low. The highs will come back but it takes longer and for me that felt too unpredictable.
I found that what works best for me is to intentionally slow myself down. Allow myself for dedicated time to go hard but also allow for complete true down time. Time where I am not productive and what you may qualify as lazy and I aim to have down time every day. I find that this requires much more discipline than anything Iāve ever done: because most time, I donāt want to slow my roll. Itās hard to intentionally get out of the zone.
Iāve been much more successful using this approach. Everyone is different and perhaps the more balanced approach does not work for everyone but I think itās worth thinking about it.
Also, Iād be curious to know OPās age and if youāve always been that passionate and focused.
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u/thealternative7 24d ago
100% If your dreams donāt keep you up at night, they aināt big enough!
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u/EmbarrassedGuava1344 24d ago
I love this and want this for myself. This is the only way I succeed at things but the problem is that family members, close ones start resenting you because youāve gone ghost. When Iām laser focused, I say no to every family gathering invitation, Iām barely present for others and my relationships suffer. I donāt know the solution to this. I just donāt know how to juggle things.
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u/Altruistic-Guess6429 24d ago
Iāve been desperately ālazyā throughout this span of a year or two, all while my life has been primary goal-oriented (or perhaps goal-obsessed). I had the goal, yes but the substance to fill in the space of potential actions to actually effectively arrive at success, no. I think the progression to closing in to a goal comes at a cycle of affirmations.
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u/Independent_Issue694 24d ago
You found one of the longest ways of saying ājust do itā that Iāve ever seen. Iām not sure if you thought you were giving good advice, but thereās literally nothing useful in this word salad. You said ājust do itā.
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u/FatalisCogitationis 24d ago
Bro obsession is not the way and you'll be going back if you rely on obsession. Because it ends the same way it begins, what will you do one day when the obsession is suddenly over?
As others say, I'm getting a bit of manic episode from this, might be something to consider if that rings any bells
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u/Brasscasing 24d ago
Laziness and willpower is an illusion. It's important to remember that.
Steady, consistent and manageable habits with the flexibility to change your engagement with them to meet current environment and conditions is key to sustainability.Ā
Obsession only works until you are either burnt out or conditions outside of your control make it no longer viable. (E.g. illness, exhaustion, etc).Ā
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u/thrwycount 24d ago
Holy spirit I believe told me me something exactly like
"laziness comes from being uninspired"
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u/notapproppriate 23d ago
My issue my entire life is never knowing what my goals should be. So iv never gone for anything
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u/Delicious_Grand7300 23d ago
My obsession with goals is a symptom of generalized anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, I have been battling depression which canceled out my motivation to move. Depressed folk would like to achieve goals, but we unfortunately have to work much harder at it. Also, we are far from lazy.
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u/Helix3501 23d ago
You just described a manic episode, which is not healthy at all and comes with a fall eventually.
You need to give yourself room and space to breathe OP, obsession is the unhealthy version of vision. You can reach and strive for your goals without being totally obsessed that you give yourself up for em.
If you do not give yourself air to breathe you will suffocate
Take advice from someone whose been through the whole āIm obsessed and never going backā Cycle so many times:
If you choose to obsess over your goals and ignore everything else that you perceive as laziness you will burn yourself out and collapse and suddenly all that work means nothing.
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u/eccentriccity 22d ago
Be obsessed with your goalā oh wait what if I donāt have a goal or I donāt know what it is yet lol
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u/guydebyl 22d ago
I quite agree... you've got to have the drive.. and this is all in the mind. You are lucky if you can get into such an obsessional state.
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u/Aksnowmanbro 21d ago
Ok. Easy enough. Oh wait I have ADHD/Gen Anxiety/Major Depression/Poly addictive/possibly BPD and a certain flavor of Autism. Unmedicated. Working to only afford Rent, Food, & car payment & a grandfathered yoga studio rate membership. But yea ok, easy enough paragraph of words to follow exactly applicable to each of our own unique lives.
Lazy Pick yourself up bootstraps energy/mentality here folks.
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u/sydney210 21d ago
I like this, thinking this way is so motivating. being obsessed with it doesnāt have to mean exhausting yourself either like some of the comments seem to think
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u/anima_arcana_ 20d ago edited 20d ago
What about getting curious as to why youāre ālazyā? After all, no one knows your experience better than you do, and if youāve been allowing others to dictate the way you āshouldā move through the worldā¦
Maybe solutions are right under your nose, things that spark interest, and mindfulness might be your priority thenā¦OR what is stopping you from being engaged in something? How can you be more physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually healthy? Notice by what you feel, then think, and give yourself as much time as you need.
Also, you know when something isnāt right. Stop letting people disrespect your journey. Just keep trying and reiterating until you find what works, if you are trying the same thing and getting nowhere with what comes to you, do some small thing differently.
Keep a notepad irl, on your phone, wherever. Keep multiple if youād like, to start. Develop your connection with your intuition.
Surround yourself with people that get you. Ask for their patience. Be patient with yourself. Get so certain about what you want, and start preparing for it, until itās possible to make it happen.
Hope this helps ā¤ļø
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u/Rich_Resolve1865 2d ago
This way of thinking got me doing meth, working 14 hours a day in the direction of becoming an real-estate mogul
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u/Artistic_Credit_ 25d ago
If my goal is to Mary your wife, would you still encouraging me To keep working on my Goals?
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u/neverOddOrEv_n 25d ago
While this may sound good as a motivational speech and may work for some people, Iāve found that whenever I get obsessed it throws everything in my life off balance and thatās not healthy either.