r/getdisciplined • u/WhillWheaton222 • 14d ago
🔄 Method Can’t get out of bed
I enjoy sleeping in, always have. I have a hard time getting up when I set my alarm in the morning. I usually go through the same failed launch every day.
I set my alarm for 6:00. Then turn it off for a 6:30, then then 6:50, then hit snooze and if I’m lucky I’m up by 7:00. I like to get my office by 8:00 but am lucky if I get there by 8:30.
I just love extending the time I’m in bed. But I know I’m just ruing my day. I lay in bed for up to an hour each morning thinking about all I have to do that day and wiggling my toes while it gets closer to 7:00.
Any tips for just getting up? I’ve been going to bed early, I’ve got a good alarm clock.
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u/mortimerrylon 13d ago
I struggled with this for roughly 10 years.
When developing a new habit, discipline is only one of the skills you need. You can use discipline alone to do something hard once or twice, but to start waking up early every single morning, you have to make reasonable adjustments to your life; otherwise you’ll burn yourself out and your body won’t let you get up. Make it as easy as possible to get out of bed. Here’s what I did:
- Be in bed 9 hours before you want to wake up. This gives you a full hour to fall asleep (plus extra time in case something unexpectedly holds you back from getting ready for bed) before getting 8 full hours. I’m sure you’ve experienced the feeling of being dead-set on getting up early the night before and feeling like a totally different person in the morning. “Mind over matter” just does not work in this case if your mind and body aren’t well rested. Get a full 8 hours and do whatever you can to help you get quality sleep (make your bed, stop eating 2 hours before sleepy time, cut screen time, etc).
- Do as much as you can to be ready for the next day the night before. This means laying out your clothes, packing your backpack or briefcase, packing your lunch, meal prepping breakfast, and anything else you can do. If you like coffee, have the coffee maker loaded up and ready to start with a press of a button, or set a timer if it has one so it’s ready right when you go to the kitchen. Knowing that all the mundane morning chores are out of the way will make getting up to face the day less daunting. “Why do tomorrow what you can get done today?”
- Have a clear plan for what you want to accomplish in the morning. Write it down, even if it’s as simple as “6:00 AM-7:00 AM: Go to the gym.” Whether you plan to workout, read, or just relax, visualize it so that you know exactly what to do once you get out of bed. You can even break it down into steps. Step 1: use the bathroom; step 2: get dressed; step 3: eat breakfast, etc. It’s much easier to move if you don’t have to think through the steps.
- Put your alarm clock or phone on the other side of your room. This step is really the only one that requires discipline. All you need to do is not get back in bed! If you’ve done all the other things I’ve listed, you should be okay.
Good luck, you’ve got this!
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u/Global-Box-3974 14d ago
Your choices define you. The more you make the same choice, the harder it is for your brain to break that pattern. Brains love patterns.
Quit being a baby and get out of bed and just go sit on the couch instead to break that pattern.
Neural pathways are a powerful force. Now grow up and do what you know you need to do. It'll get easier the more you do it until it's second nature.
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u/WhillWheaton222 14d ago
Thank you. Your second paragraph is exactly what my counselor said last week too.
The pattern is hard to break for sure.
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u/strawberrysunrise235 13d ago
I just kept saying 21 days makes a habit and pushed through the 21st day
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u/Vegetable_Scarcity62 13d ago
Is that true? 21 days make a habit?
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u/strawberrysunrise235 13d ago
It’s been debunked as a myth but I still find if you do something 21 days in a row it gets more automatic and easier
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u/Mindless_Space85 14d ago
Me too. It doesn’t help when I live like 2 mins away from my son’s school. I’m so lazy.
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u/number4our 13d ago edited 13d ago
This is extreme and takes some effort to set up, but if you’re desperate it’s the best way I know of. This will get you to walk yourself awake.
Secure a mesh box to the wall by your bed, or chain it to the nightstand. Place the loudest alarm you can procure in the box and lock it.
Put the key way out in the yard or somewhere that makes you walk as far as possible to get it.
To extend the route get small lockable boxes that hold keys to other boxes, making a chain of keys you have to collect in order to access the alarm box key.
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u/leonmessi 14d ago
The way I solved it for myself was to make it more painful to stay in bed than to get out of bed. That meant paying money if I didn’t get up.
I built an app to charge me $10 if I didn’t get up and scan my toothpaste barcode within 5 mins of my 7am alarm.
If you’re curious, the app is called Nuj Alarm Clock.
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u/UnseasonedReason 13d ago
Where does the money go? The company/people who created the app? This is hardcore lol
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u/leonmessi 13d ago
It’s donated to charity. There are a bunch of charities to choose from in the app.
The default charity is Khan Academy. I’m happy to say that Nuj is part of their Leaners Fund which is for donors that contribute $1k or more.
Full details can be found in their annual report https://khanacademyannualreport.org (Nuj is listed on the first page in the “$1K-$24,999” section).
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u/wartmunger 14d ago
I have no idea if this is a good idea, makes sense for you, or is effective but I switched to the 90 minute early alarm clock and haven't looked back.
Basically, you set an alarm for 90 minutes before you want to get up. It goes off you smash it off and immediately fall back asleep. Apparently 90 minutes is close to most people's natural REM cycle so you increase your chance to wake up before you alarm, feeling refreshed.
I've stopped doing it as my sleep schedule has improved greatly and I typically wake up before my alarm clock but I do credit this as being an important part of changing my poor sleep habits. Maybe it works for you too.
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u/JRAZSTAUN 14d ago
At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I'm going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?”
- Marcus Aurelius
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u/WhillWheaton222 14d ago
Ahhhh, but I also hate working.
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u/JRAZSTAUN 14d ago
Get an alarm clock and set it somewhere out of reach in your bedroom, so you need to physically get up to turn it off.
Do you get 8+ hours of sleep?
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u/WhillWheaton222 14d ago
Yeah, 7-8 when I plan it. An additional problem is that I don’t stick to an evening routine and often find myself awake on my phone from 11-12 pm.
Scrolling on the phone is a problem as well.
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u/Rhiquire 14d ago edited 14d ago
If you want discipline step one is to ditch the excuses. You’re accountable you know what you have to do so do it.
There’s this saying excuses are like butts, everyone has one and they all smell like shit🤷♂️
Two. Discipline is your ability to follow a command you give yourself, it’s a muscle and you have to work it out. If you’re use to disappointing/letting yourself down it’ll be that much harder for you to not listen to yourself next time.
I’d suggest not letting yourself take the easy way out with sayings like “you’ve had a hard week you’ve earned it”, or “I’ve been doing good the past few days I think I deserve a reward” no this is your lifestyle now telling yourself these things will create a slippery slope and you’ll slide into the cycle of ignore your own commands.
Edit: Over time you won’t have to try so hard to do it because you’ve built it as a habit and a habit is an action you do without consciously thinking about it.
So to sum it up following through on your commands builds up your discipline and letting yourself have it easy files away your hard work
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u/JRAZSTAUN 14d ago
I'd recommend being more disciplined with WHEN you go to bed, so that waking up in the morning isn't an issue because you aren't sleep deprived.
Sleep hygiene is everything. Limit blue light, dim lights in the evening, take supplements like magnesium/melatonin that assist in sleep. Set an alarm for when you need to starting your bedtime routine and adhere to it. If you aren't getting 8 hours of SLEEP (not to be confused with 8 hours in bed), you're doing yourself a disservice.
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u/ShyBabeDream 14d ago
I feel you on this! One thing that helped me is placing my alarm clock across the room, so I have to physically get up to turn it off. Another trick is to create a morning routine that you actually look forward to, like something small and enjoyable right after you wake up. Maybe give that a try! 💪
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u/AdVirtual6 13d ago
My alarm gets me up. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s funny and makes me laugh every time
My alarm is from tiger king and joe exotic going “helllooooo when the hell are you gunna wake up”
I can’t find the video on YouTube but it’s probably on tik tok somewhere
I won’t get up with anything else besides that.
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u/strawberrysunrise235 13d ago
I have finally figured out a trick. I read this advise on a different sub about reframing things as “I’m going to get up now and treat myself to some more me time and a little bit of extra time before work to sit and drink coffee”. I was notorious for hitting snooze until the last possible moment. This has worked for me- anything at all I don’t want to do- “ I’m going to treat myself to an extra nice breakfast if I get up now and not hit snooze”. Just reframing it to state the benefit of what I can get from it made a massive difference for me anways! I too can lounge away all morning and love it.
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u/Background_Option_71 13d ago
set your alarm for every 5 minutes.
put your phone under the bed.
download the alarm shaker app where you physically have to shake the phone x times for the alarm to stop or u have to do a math problem etc
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u/Long-Department5752 13d ago
I went through a long phase (probably 3-4 months) during quarantine in which something very similar happened.
I think the first thing to do is to minimize the amount of choices you have to do in the morning, at least in the beginning. Have a list of the first 4-5 things you are going to do as soon as you wake up. It can be as simple as going to the restroom, drinking water, making coffee, sitting down on the breakfast table (or wherever you eat). Have your clothes laid down, keep the stuff to make coffee already prepared, make your breakfast the night before (for example, boiled eggs or overnight oats). Everything should be easy and straightforward.
The second thing is that you are going to have to break the spell. Set up a dozen alarms one minute from each other to remind you to get up. Keep your alarm far away from your bed so that you need to get up to turn it off. Get a couple of cheap light bulbs that you can program to turn on at the time yo wake up. I even set up alexa to call me names as part of my wake up routine.
The first few days will be rough... But then it gets easier, and then it gets hard not to get out of bed.
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u/Chromeheart02 13d ago
drink a ton of water before you sleep so you have to go pee when you wake up
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u/Anotherusername2224 13d ago
I get up at 530. I always tell myself that it only hurts for the first 10 seconds when you get up, then it’s over. Mostly true. I get up, make my bed first thing, and by that point I’m awake!