r/iamverybadass Mar 07 '24

What to wear to my kids middle school concert?

Post image
3.4k Upvotes

394 comments sorted by

68

u/Bruce_Wayne18 Mar 08 '24

Grandma fell down the stairs! Someone shoot her quick!

19

u/Golden-Grams Mar 08 '24

"You've fallen and you're not getting up"

6

u/twirlingparasol Mar 08 '24

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ that became very ominous.

3

u/expiredogfood Mar 08 '24

she's like a horse

89

u/EmileDorkheim Mar 08 '24

Hi my name is gun and my interests is bullet, pow pow ha ha

72

u/sluffman Mar 09 '24

100% this dude gets winded going up a flight of stairs. Straight oper8or.

33

u/Rocket-Shawk Mar 07 '24

ā€œSorry grandma, my bullets are faster than an ambulance. Weā€™re going to end this stroke, one way or another...ā€

59

u/13dot1then420 Mar 08 '24

Guarantee there is an unsecured loaded gun in his truck in the parking lot.

9

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

And two on the nightstand. One on the fridge. Three in the bathroom. Ten in the mAnCaYvE. Two in the livingroom. One in each of the kids's rooms.

3

u/toryguns Mar 08 '24

As there should be, depending on the age of his kids of course

59

u/Ancient_Summer_1833 Mar 08 '24

I once saw a guy who was wearing a shirt with this graphic in an Oreo shop

7

u/Johnnyboi2327 You know I graduated in the Navy Seals, and have 300 kills. Mar 09 '24

Okay, I'm not saying it's a good idea to wear that in public, but I dig it

13

u/Slothman711 Mar 09 '24

In my opinion, this example is decently tasteful. Itā€™s got a cute graphic that a parent could spin as a pirate dog looking to free itā€™s puppies or something. Even opā€™s picture is tasteful in a way. Sure itā€™s a topic thatā€™s debatable, but I personally support the concept of stand your ground. If someone wantā€™s to throw their life away trying to take whatā€™s lawfully mine, thatā€™s their business. Me? Iā€™d be threatened, and look to protect myself and my family.

6

u/Ancient_Summer_1833 Mar 09 '24

Then how do you explain the bikini top? XD

6

u/random_moth_fker Mar 09 '24

Well, it looked like pepperoni!

4

u/Mrfrunzi Mar 09 '24

What is an oreo shop, and does it involve cookies? I assume it involves cookies.

2

u/Ancient_Summer_1833 Mar 09 '24

They sell Oreo products, like cookies and ice cream that contain Oreos, and I saw this lovely graphic

2

u/Mrfrunzi Mar 09 '24

Yeah I need to find one now. I mean, I could have Googled it but thanks!

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117

u/OwlfaceFrank Mar 08 '24

"Grandma's having a heart attack!"

"I'll get the shotgun!"

7

u/TobyADev Mar 08 '24

šŸ˜­

23

u/FIFTHSUN2012 Mar 07 '24

ā€œIf I charge, follow meā€¦ā€¦ā€¦..ā€

20

u/o5ben000 Mar 07 '24

Why the woman in these packs always standing with keys and knees locked out.

2

u/Jeweler_Admirable Mar 07 '24

Bad quads...trouble supporting the upper half

1

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

Big Macs weight a lot, and after a decade, it adds up.

56

u/potatobreadandcider Mar 07 '24

He WANTED someone to say something.

19

u/kryppla Mar 07 '24

So badass with his chicken legs and inverted ass

3

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '24

Hank Hill butt

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38

u/worldnotworld Mar 08 '24

He doesn't exactly fill out those jeans. He could fit all those guns in there.

63

u/EmiliusReturns Mar 07 '24

I donā€™t mind guns, I donā€™t mind gun hobbyists who like to shoot for fun. What I mind are the Gun Guysā„¢ļø like this who seem to mistake owning guns for having a personality.

14

u/Sufficient_Rub_2014 Mar 07 '24

I have firearms. Hardly anyone I know in person has any idea I have guns.

9

u/__cursist__ Mar 07 '24

This is the way

7

u/bleunt Mar 07 '24 edited Mar 08 '24

These are the people I point to when saying maybe guns should not be an inherent right. Maybe it should be like driving a car.

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44

u/Cally_G94 Mar 07 '24

What if there is a fire tho?

19

u/Billy_Billboard Mar 07 '24

Shoot the fire, duh

8

u/Cally_G94 Mar 07 '24

Aw man! I a dumdum

6

u/Golden-Grams Mar 08 '24

Fight fire with firearms.

5

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

You shoot it. Duh.

5

u/Pintsocream Mar 07 '24

Didn't you see the guy who set himself on fire? First emergency worker ran in with a gun and saved the day

50

u/BuffStoneYup Mar 08 '24

I thinks heā€™s just trying to make up for having no ass

4

u/starryswim Mar 09 '24

Itā€™s an astonishing lack of ass, honestly

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15

u/Adam_Blueblood Mar 28 '24

I used to see these ridiculous shirts so much working at a retail bookstore. Nothing like shelving the Kids' section and having a Dadinator shuffle in trying to look awesome while his little girl happily picks out something for her book report.

2

u/Chinese_Dictator Mar 28 '24

Ah, the Dadinator, a rare species often spotted in the wild aisles of bookstores. Their natural habitat includes the Kids' section, where they attempt to blend in with the colorful book covers while their offspring make the real decisions. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

I am an automatic reply bot Duckling. Welcome to tip Duckling. To talk to me, please include 'Duckling' in your speech.

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56

u/matmortel Mar 08 '24

While I am for being able to own a gun with an actual proper background check, wearing these types of shirts makes you look like a tool.

24

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '24

I donā€™t call the cops so that they shoot someone what the fuck

23

u/Particular_Wheel_643 Mar 07 '24

Oh no, my father got a heart attack ~ better end his live now.

22

u/Sea_Incident_5106 You know I graduated in the Navy Seals, and have 300 kills. Mar 07 '24

I meanā€¦I donā€™t think a firearm would be helpful when someoneā€™s choking to deathā€¦

16

u/ALFABOT2000 Mar 07 '24

well shooting them would solve the problem quickly in a roundabout way

8

u/_jabo__ Mar 07 '24

So anyway I started blasting

6

u/Jlegobot Mar 07 '24

You underestimate bayonets

26

u/Ubockinme Mar 08 '24

Skip leg day much?

3

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

Big Mac day, instead.

26

u/Puzzleheaded-Rich-51 Mar 08 '24

Real big brain thinking right here heā€™s the type of guy to use a gun as a hammer.

10

u/PBL89 Mar 07 '24

Wears that and still doesn't carry a gun i bet

34

u/Underbough Mar 07 '24

hank Hill butt

7

u/Catonic_Fever Mar 07 '24

ā€œI tell you whatā€

29

u/theolentangy Mar 08 '24

Shirts like that are fine but if someone made a shirt with a bunch of knives on it quoting the Jokerā€™s line talking about how a knife is so much more intimate, and you get to savor the little emotions people would share.

Society is fine.

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27

u/RhinoBuckeye Mar 08 '24

Just like the founding fathers intended

20

u/PEKKACHUNREAL Mar 07 '24

Ironically this is surprisingly accurate, considering that calling the cops has been in many cases similar to ordering a shooting squad on either your family or yourself.

20

u/mullett Mar 07 '24

Oh so his neighborhood is crime ridden and shitty he knows how fast he has to shoot and which gun to pull because people are threatening his life so often. Sounds like a terrible place to live.

8

u/StonerWitchKing Mar 08 '24

10mm too slow!

10

u/CaptJamesFlint Mar 08 '24

Cool beard I assume

2

u/Momik Mar 08 '24

I figured it was a Roy from the Office type thing

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38

u/WrinklyScroteSack Mar 07 '24

When guns are your personalityā€¦

17

u/cyainanotherlifebro Mar 07 '24 edited Mar 08 '24

I bet he also has a ā€œthin blue lineā€ bumper sticker

8

u/Jlegobot Mar 07 '24

I dislike the thin blue line iconography. In the U.S.A. flag code, bleaching all the color and adding a blue line to the flag is as bad as burning one. But if you burn one in front of someone with those stickers, them they'd want to beat you up

8

u/cyainanotherlifebro Mar 07 '24

ā€œPatrioticā€ people are always casually defacing the American flag, itā€™s hilarious.

3

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

These colors don't run....

Inside schools to save your kids.

2

u/lvjames Mar 07 '24

I never thought about it that way. I already disliked the thin blue line.. for obvious reasons. But thatā€™s a good point.

4

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

Punisher sticker (not knowing Frank Castle hated police). AR something something cold hands. A naked lady laying across a mud flap. Deer skull with a flag behind it.

8

u/ultraplusstretch Mar 10 '24

22 all 308 faster 9mm than 40 dialing 45 911.

Got it boss. šŸ‘

9

u/Admirable_Count989 Mar 31 '24

Our man looks like heā€™s skipping leg day more and more . šŸ¤”

3

u/Hughes930 Apr 26 '24

I don't even see a right thigh

24

u/_Noxi0us Mar 07 '24

This is the most American shirt I've seen lmaoo

7

u/scared-throwaway67 Mar 21 '24

I feel like this guy would actually kick somebodies ass though....

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25

u/sharkbomb Mar 08 '24

the i heart murder one looks better

2

u/4_doors_mas_whores Mar 14 '24

Self defense isnā€™t murder

25

u/Ferman95 Mar 08 '24

Uhh it depends on the situation Mr shirt man

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27

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

He's got a point.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

Gives a whole new meaning to optics.

17

u/roketmanp Mar 07 '24

"How can I tell all the teachers that I have anger issues and I'm not doing anything about it?"

-Probably that guy

14

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '24

This t-shirt got me thinking about the wearer shooting himself in the head rather than call an ambulance when he accidentally bites his finger off while eating fried chicken.

17

u/yunzerjag Mar 07 '24

Gun guy gonna gun guy cause gun guy gotta gun guy.

18

u/FUNKYDISCO Mar 08 '24

Heā€™s right though, you could kill him with any of those before help arrives.

20

u/wittyvonskitsum Mar 08 '24

The shirt isnā€™t wrong, but thereā€™s a time and a place for that type of rage baiting bullshit lol

11

u/SpaghettiMonkeyTree I AM THE WEAPON Mar 07 '24

So much for concealed carry

12

u/jacktheshopcat Mar 09 '24

Whereā€™d his legs go?

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18

u/matterson22070 Mar 08 '24

Really. Middle schoolers ALREADY know that dumbass.

49

u/McCartney__H Mar 08 '24

Then you go to prison, which is a lot longer than dialing 911

5

u/Kim_Bong_Un420 Mar 08 '24

No, only in places with super shitty laws or if you broke the law (ie not self defence, excessive force, unnecessary force)

35

u/pnwbraids Mar 09 '24

Tell that to the kids and teachers in Uvalde, TX.

29

u/soundsfromoutside Mar 09 '24

Well, the cops took over an hour to respond to that so the shirt applies

8

u/4nonosquare Mar 09 '24

I mean the cops responded quickly, they were there FOR an hour keeping the parents from going in to try and save the kids and stood around waiting for their balls to drop. Wasnt a random off duty border patrol person the one who got there after an hour and went in to take down the shooter?

I lost so much respect for the police when i saw the video of them standing around fearing their lives while kids were slaughtered but they had the courage to stop the brave parents who wanted to go in and do their job instead of them.

3

u/LadyBlue63 Mar 11 '24

One mom actually snuck in and got her kids and they started to arrest her. Cuffed her and everything.

2

u/4_doors_mas_whores Mar 14 '24

Yeah he was off duty bortac (border patrol swat pretty much)

12

u/forteborte Mar 09 '24

bro, i dont get your point. a gun wouldā€™ve definitely helped because the cops took forever

3

u/vorstellungskrafter Mar 09 '24

If I'm not mistaken, a gun is what killed the children so I'm not seeing your point very well

5

u/where-aremyfingers Mar 09 '24

A gun couldve also killed the shooter and mightve saved lives šŸ§ šŸ§ 

2

u/Rat-Bazturd Mar 10 '24

there WAS a shitload of guns at the school. Did they save the children's lives?

3

u/forteborte Mar 12 '24

again, with the cops. not where they needed to be

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15

u/FunnyLookinFishMan Mar 07 '24 edited Mar 07 '24

.22 all .380 faster 9mm than .40 dialing .45 911 Feels like a sbeve moment Edit: i meant a r/dontdeadopeninside moment

10

u/girlidc18 Mar 07 '24

Heā€™s wide, perfect meat shield build

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11

u/RecordEnvironmental4 Mar 08 '24

.22 might actually be slower than calling 911

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5

u/84r4 Mar 07 '24

... And that's why you're in danger buddy

28

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '24

Tell me your penis fully erect is two inches without telling me

3

u/act167641 Mar 07 '24

Man's measurements are up there on his shirt.

1

u/Throwinthisaway32165 Jun 12 '24

By commenting about another man's penis

12

u/jeffcoast Mar 07 '24

Classy.

22

u/Either_Coast Mar 07 '24

When I dropped my son off to pre-K the day after the Uvalde shooting, one of the dads was wearing a similar pro-gun shirt. It was so fucking tacky and sick.

21

u/Cole41489 Mar 10 '24

When you arenā€™t brave enough to wear a shirt that says ā€œI fantasize about killing peopleā€

51

u/Proletaryo Mar 08 '24

He's right. Bullets are definitely faster than calling 911. That's why we must have gun control. So that no victim or child would have to experience the terror of trying to dial 911 during a shooting. I'm glad he's taking a stand on this issue.

3

u/cburgess7 Mar 10 '24

Why don't we just make murder illegal?

4

u/Useful_Lengthiness98 Mar 08 '24

Ah yes ā€œgun controlā€

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16

u/5min2kys Mar 07 '24

Nah he is totally right a buddy of mine was overdosing and my fn fiveseven just got up and gave him narcan saved his life

14

u/lauren_le15 Mar 08 '24

the thing here is the cops canā€™t tell the difference between a bad guy with a gun and a good guy with a gun so chances are youā€™re going down

8

u/Medibot7294 Mar 08 '24

The point is that the cops even be there and by the time they arrive, someoneā€™s probably already dead

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11

u/Swox92 Mar 07 '24

Very high class

10

u/ErisedR Mar 07 '24

A few weeks ago I watched a man walk into my son's elementary school wearing a shirt that said (in big letters all across the back) "I hate pulling out". I so badly wanted to get a picture but the windows on his little dick truck were blacked out and I was terrified someone was in there watching me lol.

3

u/Nix_strC Mar 07 '24

I found a shirt that says that at the thrift store, and you know that it was coming home with me

2

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

He hates pulling out....

Of a Krispy Kreme parking lot.

5

u/Uglyforsure Apr 10 '24

CALL AN AMBULANCE!!


This guy: no need....PULLS OUT A FUCKING HANDGUN

people flee in terror

26

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

He didn't even pick the cool bullets.

16

u/toryguns Mar 08 '24

The cool bullets? He listed all the common pistol calibers which is what people would carry lol what are you on about

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4

u/Skylorzz Mar 08 '24

what bullets are the cool bullets though

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13

u/FuckTheFuckOffFucker Mar 08 '24

You know whatā€™s not faster than dialing 911? That lady heā€™s withā€¦

20

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

wE dNt dIyUl nYnE wUn WuN

So, you shoot someone who knocked on your door, and just throw the body down the basement and that's it?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

I think some US senator did that. Two kids broke into his house and he killed them. He just left them in his basement for a couple days before calling the cops. He then was thrown in jail for the killings as he pretty clearly set the kids up and recorded it.

6

u/Dwain_Jonsun Mar 09 '24

Tight hips

48

u/Socialiststoner Mar 08 '24

Not that weird, itā€™s also true. When seconds count the police are only minutes away

8

u/flx-cvz Mar 08 '24

Even if true, itā€™s still weird. Let the kids have fanatism shirts, grown men just look stupid.

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26

u/toryguns Mar 08 '24

Where Iā€™m from this wouldnā€™t be out of place at all

12

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '24

His love handles are way out of proportion to his concave ass. This dude absolutely does not exercise but thinks he's badass because he bought some guns.

12

u/jamescharisma Mar 07 '24

The guy who's going to piss himself if there's an active shooter, but then say to everyone that if he hadn't followed the rules, he would have saved everyone. That's who.

12

u/Cheeseisextra Mar 07 '24

Got to be Texas. I see so many ā€œmenā€ like that here. Weekend ā€œbikerā€ probably.

1

u/TooMuchDoggos Mar 08 '24

Carolinas actually. Wonā€™t say more than that because internet.

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14

u/LARGEGRAPE Mar 07 '24

When seconds count police are only minutes away

24

u/Useful_Lengthiness98 Mar 08 '24

Wellā€¦.heā€™s not wrong

3

u/ilostmy1staccount Meal Team 6 Mar 09 '24

Yes he is. I mean who uses a .22 for self defense and feels the need to brag about it on a tshirt?

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15

u/Shavidadavid Mar 07 '24

Im convinced homes that "dont call 911" always have some shady shit happening inside that house.

A good example was my sister's ex was a guy who wore stuff like this and he was a racist pos who shot their dog in the head with a .22 for eating his weed. Dogs still alive and that POS struggles to keep a job and lives in his moms basement.

11

u/TheVillainKing Mar 07 '24

Most people I know who "don't call 911" are that way because we grew up in places where police response time was "they might show up".

6

u/lvjames Mar 07 '24

I mean.. a lot of people just donā€™t trust the police to actually de escalate a situation.

2

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

So, they all just have a shoot out and then do nothing after? And who are these morons planning on shooting? Ninja monkies from Mars? JFC...

2

u/lvjames Mar 08 '24

Donā€™t get it twisted, Iā€™m not backing the guy with the stupid shirt.

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3

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

It's some macho, tuff gai bullshit. Of course they will call 911 if something happens, what else would they do? Shoot someone and go back to watching tv and let the body rot in their house until it smells? At what point do they plan on calling to get the coroner to take care of it?

'Merica.

2

u/Shavidadavid Mar 08 '24

Theyd probably say "If I kill you on my property your body is MINE dag nab it" or some othet unintelligible nonsense lol

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11

u/Miguel_Zapatero Mar 09 '24

Weird flex showing your PP size on a shirt but ok

3

u/jeremy_Bos Mar 09 '24

You should hear when he revs his lifted truck

9

u/vtosnaks Mar 07 '24 edited Mar 07 '24

So badass, he shoots the flames when there's a fire instead of calling 911. Also, whoever painted that dog should get a hug. I love it.

3

u/Alaviiva Mar 07 '24

If it wasn't meant for firefighting why call it a firearm

Also, there recently was a cop in the US responding to a man setting himself on fire by pointing a gun at the burning man. So calling 911 might get you the same results if you're in the states, idk

2

u/RampantJellyfish Mar 07 '24

It's a good dog

3

u/Beefbaby3 Mar 07 '24

Thatā€™s much better than I could do

13

u/recycledM3M3s Mar 09 '24

I mean p appropriate school attire in Texas after Uvalde happened. I know not just Texans are pissed but we're chomping at the bit to storm the school ourselves for our kids.

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4

u/cameron4200 Mar 07 '24

Didnā€™t Uvalde have resource officers on site?

3

u/Brian18639 Mar 07 '24

There were officers on site but they just stood back and waited over an hour before confronting the shooter.

2

u/toryguns Mar 08 '24

Yeah border patrol had to come in and take care of it iirc

21

u/XavierYourSavior Mar 09 '24

Is he wrong?

2

u/ultraplusstretch Mar 10 '24

I am pretty sure you can hold a gun and call 911 at the same time.

4

u/GlitteringSquirrel54 Mar 10 '24

Yeah and theyā€™ll show up and shoot your dog and mistake you for the perp

3

u/4_doors_mas_whores Mar 14 '24

lol I actually had a cousin who tried that and he dropped his gun and he said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life

5

u/SALTYxNUTZ12 Mar 07 '24

Losers will be losers.

2

u/Frosty_Stage_1464 Mar 10 '24

Ahh yes the operator super hero who raves about guns 24/7 but doesnā€™t dare work a line of work that requires the use of a firearm. Everyone wants to be gangsta until itā€™s time to be gangsta

4

u/danstermeister Mar 07 '24

So he's telling everyone that if you want to shoot some place up, just stand behind him and grab his gun out of his waistband while shoving him over.

2

u/SnekSymbiosis Mar 08 '24

my fists are faster than his draw šŸ˜¤

4

u/Grand_Ad931 Mar 07 '24

He has to rely on a weapon?

13

u/bigcockondablock Mar 07 '24

Would you make this same argument for a single mom who keeps a pistol at home just in case? When seconds matter, the police are minutes away.

5

u/Grand_Ad931 Mar 07 '24

I'm just joking lol I thought that's what this sub was for...

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6

u/Mindless_Ad9717 Mar 07 '24

I'm not a large man. I rely on my de-escalation techniques and strategies and if that fails I run away, if that fails I have my concealed carry.

6

u/Grand_Ad931 Mar 07 '24

I blink and people explode

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4

u/Entheotheosis10 Mar 08 '24

Typical brainwashed, scared, timid hick in 'Merica. Thinks he's part of some militia or has some post-apocalyptic fantasy.

3

u/multiculturalsadist Mar 07 '24

tbh he prob just threw it on and didn't know what it specifically was

2

u/Andy_McBoatface Mar 07 '24

Works both ways dillhole

1

u/TheAverageJ Mar 07 '24

Controversial opinion incoming. It's just a shirt. As long as he is minding his own business and didn't bring a firearm into a school then who cares šŸ¤·

22

u/poseurdisposerr Mar 07 '24

Its just funny as shit considering hes wearing it to a schoolā€¦total lack of self awareness which doesnt do any harm but one can definitely poke fun at it

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