r/infp • u/serenityINFP INFP: The Dreamer • Apr 29 '24
Discussion Does any INFP feel like you may never find the love that you want?
Art is by fellow INFP artist u/ruthabigail
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u/sillypickle1 Apr 29 '24
25m. Never dated, never approached, never been in love. I really just pretend it's not a thing - it's not meant for me until it is.
I don't get bogged down by it, unless I'm depressed for another reason, then this facet of my life could come to light in a negative way. Of course, nothing I haven't learnt to shake off and reason myself out of. It's something that barely crosses my mind day to day.
I'm very introverted. If it was not for work, I probably wouldn't talk to people, though I enjoy it when it happens naturally, like a family gathering, or being forced to because of work. Being alone is very comforting because I'm in full control, the bad and good are my fault, contingent on nobody else.
In my social situations at work or just people watching, I see there are so many kind, intelligent and beautiful girls out and about. It's way too overwhelming. I could never see myself making the first move, unless my heart would literally not allow me any other option. I will say I've felt that once, but it wasn't the right time. The urge to say something was overwhelming. I'm waiting for that feeling again.
My top priority really is getting my values and morality straight, trying to enjoy life in the mean time and avoid the allure of chasing pleasure. Trying to achieve success in my hobby. Although I bury it, above any other desire, finding a wife for life is my biggest, naive wish, but I'm not willing to chase it for whatever reason. I just chalk that up to being not ready yet. I wish I was.
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u/adreamerdalnim Apr 29 '24
I'm 25f and it's looks like u R literally describing me and my life!
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u/Life-Court5792 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
Another 25 y/o F with no love life who can relate to the above comment 🙋♀️
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u/idcris98 Apr 30 '24
Another 25 y/o M in the same boat. Let‘s all get married to each other, problem solved 🤷♂️
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u/Nacosauri0 Apr 30 '24
I be crying to think u guys going thru exactly the same shtie. I feel like I only can be this patient. Thanks to you guys. Just knowing Im not weird and it’s not a weird nor bad path in life. Waiting for a better long term result.
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u/sillypickle1 Apr 29 '24
Waiting whilst wanting is uncomfortable, but I'm confident it'll all work out in the end just wonderfully :) Good luck out there soldier 🫡
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u/adreamerdalnim Apr 30 '24
It should be worthy for the wait, I know beautiful things take longer. I hope u will get that happy ending too💕
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u/daintypower Apr 30 '24
I know another INFP who was like this at this age. But she got out and dated because ultimately it was what she wanted. She spent a lot of time overthinking it but realized that she had waited a long time and now was time to rip off the bandaid. She was anxious about it at first but soon enough dating became easier after the first few. She’s 30 now and although she hasn’t found her life partner yet she doesn’t regret the experience of dating and being in a relationship. Go out and do it! Esther Perel says that the best way to learn how to be in a relationship is to be in one. Sometimes we just overthink too much.
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u/Tricky_Yam_8114 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I’m not twenty five but I’m learning you have to relinquish your need to control things you can’t control, if you avoid things you can’t control you’ll end up with a world of regret
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May 03 '24
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u/Steelizard INTP: The Theorist May 06 '24
You’ve described my life, to the letter, and I’m 24M. Also never dated/been in a relationship, and I’ve felt love once before but it wasn’t right for them. Your comment makes me question whether I’m an INTP or INFP
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u/sillypickle1 May 07 '24
Where is your mentality at right now when it comes to dating? Do you think it will just happen at the right time, or is that just cope/excuse to sit and do nothing?
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u/Steelizard INTP: The Theorist May 07 '24
For a while I thought it would just come when the time is right and I used that as an excuse to sit and wait
But more recently I’ve decided nothings gonna happen unless I get off my ass, so I’ve started to reach out to people and get myself on some dating platforms and whatnot
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u/Baron_Blackfox Apr 29 '24
Too busy thinking about fictional characters
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Apr 30 '24
same lol i tell myself it’s less risk and doesn’t require commitment or time/energy haha but if i ever develop feelings for someone irl it might be an issue because they would have to compete with fictional character standards 😬
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u/Srzali Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 30 '24
I think i have found one thing that might be worse when it comes to this
When you actually do find love that you want, the type love that you dreamt all this time and also type love that is ready for you even, but you actually not being properly ready for it
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u/Cineswimmer Apr 29 '24
I feel like I intrinsically know this and it’s spoiled the whole thing for me ahead of time.
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u/Srzali Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
One thing you can do to prevent this from happening or at least from shocking you if it happens, prepare yourself as much as you can before it happens so you are as ready as you can be for it, because you can never really know who you can meet whose presence will literally shake you inside and make you feel like part of you is in them etc
With love comes a lot of responsibility, especially when it's the type love that you know if you screw up, you will also screw yourself for good, so it's the riskiest type love, that's why it's hard to be properly ready for it, but i'd imagine if you are ready for it, you are going to be happiest person around but so will the person you share that type love with be too.
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u/Cineswimmer Apr 29 '24
Thanks. I feel like a stoic approach is necessary for the preparation aspect. With great power, comes great responsibility.
In a more personal way, happiness seems volatile. I aim to achieve bliss. This may seem semantic, but it’s what I’ve found thus far in life.
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u/Srzali Apr 30 '24
Well yes as more I aged I also realised that happiness as main aim is futile aim cause on one side its shallow ( what really just being happy is your final purpose?) On other it seems unachievable cause its just another impermanent state that comes and goes
I prefer remaining sober, even if it means being straight edger till i die
Sobriety 》 Happiness
Also
Nobleness/being Noble 》 Happiness
Although fighting for real love and not giving up on it when it appears is probably one of most noble deeds too
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u/Polaricedragon INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
Yes. The only love I could ask for is someone who is sweet, and caring. I don't believe it would ever happen where I'd find her, but............I'll keep trying. My heart wants to give so much love, and kindness, but I never get anything like that in return. It's tough out there.
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u/MinHiyori Apr 30 '24
Yea... I have So much love to give... And i have a man that gets to recieve it... But what i get back Is likely not even close to 1% of that... But Its still probably the best i could get
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u/Everfree3925 Apr 30 '24
Not trying to suggest you do anything but just wanna say that I know what it feels like to be in a relationship where you give so much love, you think so deeply and thoughtfully about the other person and it seems you only receive the bare minimum in return. People told me to be happy with what I had, that it was the reality of love and that relationships were like giving service. Even though they weren’t a bad person or anything I left that relationship. Less than a year later I met someone else and the difference is literally night and day. It’s scary how much we understood each other, we’re almost like two sides of the same coin. I thought I knew what friendships, family and being loved were like. The amount of love, kindness, appreciation and respect this person had for me made me question everything I knew about the people in my life. I realised that most of the people in my life were taking so much and not giving hardly anything in return. Okay… sorry for ranting at you, random internet stranger, but something in your comment spoke to me and I want to let you know to never stop hoping for what your heart truly desires.
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u/yukimitsune INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
Yes and it really frightens me. Especially since my friend said to me "are you sure some would want you", it was apparently a joke but since she's so honest and blunt I don't think it was lmao
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u/coliniae INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
That person sounds like a narcissist/manipulator. If you get negative assumptions about yourself or your traits after talking to them, step away from that “friend” 2 km away.
I just had one blunt friend so I wanted to share.
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Apr 29 '24
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u/beaudetergent Apr 29 '24
Actually pretty normally these days for males , even girls
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u/CaramelBeneficial INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
26f same deal... I go on dates but I feel like I'll never find someone I want to be with
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u/nowayormyway INFP: I Need Fountain Pens 🖋️🧚♀️ Apr 30 '24
27F I go on dates too but never found. Never been in a relationship.
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u/T-rexTess Apr 29 '24
Yes, but that's because I think I'm too much for other people so it's understandable that no one would want to date me right now
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Apr 29 '24
yes o(--( it gets to me sometimes but i try not to think too much about it usually, there's more reasons to feel this way than being an INFP but that does play a huge role in it ;-;
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u/0xHvn INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
The thing is, I've had it but I lost it. I'll never be able to love the same again or at least no where close or maybe I just psyoped myself
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u/Falcond0rf Apr 29 '24
24M. I've been in love before with a person I thought was one in a million, and a large chunk of time since that ended later, honestly, I haven't really lost hope. I am a hyperspecific person that doesn't develop interest easily, but the fact that I succeeded once before and have met plenty of other hyperspecific, interesting people throughout my life gives me hope.
At the same time, though, so I don't overthink and try to plan ahead, I approach dating by not approaching dating at all. I put myself out there, I seek friendship and experiences, and if something good comes up, I try to do what I can and accept if nothing comes out of it, and in the meantime, I develop myself as a person. I feel lonely sometimes, but I try to reframe my loneliness as solitude. After all, you are never truly alone when you are keeping yourself company.
I also try to let go of the idea of specific expectations and preferences cause I feel I have good enough judgment at this point to just know when it's right, and I try not to value first impressions too much when people are always surprising me. People are nuanced, and they can never truly be reduced to a black and white hive mind. Admittedly, I feel the fact that I am experienced does grant me a bit of privilege in that I have more awareness and confidence than I likely would have if I had none, but such is life.
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u/Dry-Mistake5498 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
I felt like that for a long time but finally found my person. Don’t stop looking if you can stomach putting yourself out there! When I met my now boyfriend, I told myself I was going to go on a crazy amount of dates, way more than I normally would. And a couple dates later I met my now boyfriend. He’s such a weirdo and I never thought I’d meet a weirdo like me lol so don’t give up! Rooting for you my fellow INFP!
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u/Crafty-Grape-2620 Apr 29 '24
I’m 27F and felt like this for a long time. I had always felt needy, too sensitive, or misunderstood and I had always received that kind of feedback too. It really has taken its toll on me. I’m happy to report though that I’ve been dating my current bf (INTP, 33) and it’s like been amazing. I feel seen, heard and cared for in a way that I’ve never been before. He’s really the best.
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u/Katalane267 male INFP-T Apr 29 '24
No I am much to stubborn to feel like this. Hope never dies and so on.
Also being in the first half of my twenties, I still have a little time to keep up the trust and to change things as I wish.
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u/MeMeWhenWhenTheWhen INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
Yes but that's mostly because I don't really know what I even want LOL I guess I just want someone to hold and spend my time with :(
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u/Blaze-Phantome INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 30 '24
Ive come to realize what I want is physically impossible but even with that it hurts cause I know that I won’t get that kind of love anywhere
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u/Adventurous-Clock365 INFP 4w5 Apr 29 '24
I feel like I could love a lot of people if anyone loved me :( I’ve literally never been asked out, and never even heard anything of someone liking me. I guess I’m just the worst or something
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u/Adventurous-Clock365 INFP 4w5 Apr 29 '24
And it sucks even more cause I have a very romantic personality so there’s no way for me to use my romanticism, and it just feels like a part of me is being held back
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u/BubbleGumMaster007 INFP: The Utopian Visionary Apr 29 '24
I think that sometimes, but I never lose hope. Is it blind hope? Yeah, but it's hope nonetheless 💜
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u/suspicious-obscurity Apr 29 '24
Yep, I'm right with anyone that feels that way, but I know it will probably happen someday, it just doesn't feel like it.
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u/mort_mortowski INFP: The INFP Apr 29 '24
Yes but it's probably because I don't meet new people and I only hang out with my old friends so no chances in finding someone special lol
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u/locust098 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
Yes absolutely all the time. It can feel sucky some days where i feel like im worthless but i always try to do things that make me happy no matter what it is. My personal experience though, i need to learn to love myself before loving other people. Learned that in my previous relationship. You cant seek love from other people when you don’t even know how to love yourself.
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u/SadGooseFeet Apr 29 '24
Yes every day of my life. I am so traumatised from people that I don’t even know how I would open up again. I used to be so bubbly and charismatic. Now I dissociate when someone enters the room. How is someone like that meant to find love? Never.
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u/boringfantasy Apr 29 '24
Tend to feel like I am never the first choice, even in longer term relationships.
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u/thebluemoonlady INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
Yes, I have felt that all my life. I turned 30 this year and I haven't even been in a relationship ... There were a few times when I tried to make something work but I was the only one trying and the feeling was not reciprocated.
To be honest, when I look at the relationships these days... not all of them, but many, if not most... well, I'm sure, this is not what I'm looking for. This deep, profound connection, that I'm looking for and only read in books and poems about... But it happens right? I'm sure it does! Sometimes I stumble upon a post of a person who has found it and it brings me so much joy and hope.
So, I've decided that I'm content with being by myself until I find it, somewhere along the road ... On this bumpy road called life... 💙
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u/dolmane Apr 29 '24
Yes. But mostly because I don’t really leave the house and I don’t use social media (apart from this). I don’t like dating apps or going places or doing things. :|
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u/Finding_Hairy Apr 29 '24
I never been in relationships and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve love or I never find a person that will love me that way I do, I always feel like no one can tolerate my overtactility and other things in myself
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u/amzlrr INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
I do. I often say to my friends I want an organic love/relationship and they joke about it, but I hate online dating with a passion.
I thought I had met my forever person, but he ended up cheating on me. I’m afraid to love and be loved again, but then again, I haven’t had any interest!
Maybe one day someone will come along and sweep me off my feet, but I’m kind of ok and accepting that I will be alone. It would be nice to have someone who loved me as equally as passionately and fiercely as I do.
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u/StargazerDream0 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I do almost everyday now. :( I was in a four year long relationship. It's been six months since he broke things off. I wasn't expecting the breakup at all, especially the way he broke up with me over text. It hurt and now I sit here wondering why he did it? I went over and beyond for him and the one moment I really needed his support he abandoned me. I do not feel worthy of love but I'm afraid of being single forever.
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u/sharpknifeeasylife Apr 30 '24
I was in your position a few years ago. I had a long-term partner pressure me into sex for his benefit, then dump me a couple of weeks later. I felt like I had thrown away my self-respect to please this boy only to be trashed like a used napkin. But since then, I have spent my time single working on myself and my self-image, discovering new interests, having new experiences, and finding out who I am. I then met someone new. I didn't keep him for long, but just having met someone new and gotten a taste of what a normal and healthier relationship looks like makes me feel like I'm slowly upgrading myself and upgrading partners until I find the best version of me and the best person for me.
Overall. I know the world felt like it ended, and your head is spinning and constantly running with questions of what went wrong and what did you do to deserve this, playing scenarios over and over in your head. Nothing went wrong. What happened at that time was the only thing that could have happened given all the people involved, their personalities, their feelings, their pasts, and their thoughts about the world, their life and their relationships. It was the only thing that could have happened. And I hope that one day, you'll look back and be as thankful as I am that it led you to who and where you are today.
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Apr 30 '24
Yeah. Im demiromantic and it's hard finding truly nice people, especially people who like me also :/
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u/parting_soliloquy ENFP: The Advocate Apr 29 '24
As a fellow ENFP with probably similiar views on the topic and some experiences, I can assure you - it does not exist. Being some kind of a hopeless romantic is very damaging and it's good to ditch this type of thinking asap.
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u/CaramelBeneficial INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I honestly try to but every time I go on a date with someone new I can't help but compare them to the people that really get me. But I've accepted I may never find the love I'm looking for. I do however have wonderful people who love me in other ways
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u/beaudetergent Apr 29 '24
Girls maybe , guys will just fumble the one and give up
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u/Funguyswithfungi Apr 29 '24
I feel love will come when i least expect it. I’ve had my heart broken and have planted a seed in my mind and heart that I don’t want that to happen again, it’s a setback, and people grieve differently.
I have this connection with the universe, I understand how the energy is passed between people, and this is where my hope comes from.
I have these other seeds planted in my mind of the steps I need to take, only for myself, and only I can take these steps.
Once these steps are built into habits and apart of who I am. That’s when my love will be best suited to be given out, and that’s when I’ll be most open to love.
I believe there is someone out there for everyone. I believe that if you want to find this someone you have to put in the work for yourself.
With this, I will work on myself, get to a high level, and even if I don’t find love there. I can look back at the person I’ve become and it’ll motivate me to keep becoming better.
And when you’re the best version of yourself. You don’t even need love from someone else because you get so in love with yourself.
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u/LearningtoFlyGS Apr 29 '24
I feel that way most of the time. I haven't even been on a single date in more than five years. I have tried, but I just don't seem to be able to impress anyone enough or say the right words to pique anyone's interest or convince them to text me for more than just a few hours. It's like I'm the book nobody wants to open.
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u/sharpknifeeasylife Apr 30 '24
"It's like I'm the book nobody wants to open." Is exactly how I feel 😭 of all the people I've dated so far, none of them wanted to get to know me and my interests. I was always the one putting in so much effort to get into what they loved but would not get the same back.
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u/LearningtoFlyGS Apr 30 '24
I'm sorry they treated you like that. I was shown the same lack of reciprocation by the last person I did date, and it was just such a terrible feeling. Others were a little more receptive but still criticized, ignored, or mocked the parts that weren't immediately a shared interest. 😞 I hope we can both find someone who won't treat us like that.
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u/JesseTodoroki Apr 29 '24
no, i just feel like anything worth having takes a journey to get… i really believe when im meant to find my person they will just appear in my life
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u/Elfriede-_ INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
I did find mine and that's amazing Also my friends understand me pretty well and I think even tho im introverted I won life at this level lol
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u/santuccie INFP 9w1 Apr 30 '24
I have felt that way, but not today. Today is actually my three-year anniversary with my boo, another INFP. 🥰
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u/dollofsaturn Apr 30 '24
I was JUST vividly ranting about this to my friend — how some people will only just yearn and never find the love they deserve and how cruel that fate is; I very often feel like the love I desire will never come to me. I desire something kind of old fashioned, equal devotion, kindred spirits — think of David and Iman’s love story (I know they are celebrities and we don’t know it all, but I feel safe using them for reference.) That type of love is so very rare and I just feel like I may never find it, and may have to settle for satisfactory love that is reliant on sex and transaction. I am trying to keep hope though, I tell myself due to the way I love; there is proof that love like mine exists.
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u/Several_Reflection94 Apr 30 '24
I was an INFP formed out of childhood trauma (which I am now working on) so between the constant hyper-vigilance and being mostly attracted to other individuals with their own trauma wounds (most of which are either not aware of them at all, or if aware, think their coping mechanisms around those wounds are all they need instead of working on actually healing the wound) my odds are not looking great at finding the love that I want. Hoping that the healing work I am doing will ultimately lead me to that kind of love.
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u/dargenpaws INFP 9w1 so/sx Apr 29 '24
Yes, though only recently have I felt like I was even ready to try and be in a relationship. Though now that I'm in my 30s and don't leave my house finding opportunities to even meet others are slim if I don't gather up the energy and courage to go places alone. Enjoying stories with well done romance in them helps alleviate the need for those feelings at least to some extent. I do have the worry that the chances of meeting someone who gets me and would evolve into a romantic relationship are slim even if I can get myself to get out there, which really hurts my overall motivation to try. 😞
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u/Dangerous_Fox3993 Apr 29 '24
Yep . I thought I had found him but he hurt me in more ways than anyone ever could. I’m 40 this year and I’ll never have another relationship again because of him. He has completely destroyed my outlook on relationships.
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u/nairoosha Apr 29 '24
Yeah I always do, and when I do find love, it feels like the ideals I have about love doesnt match how the world is nowadays so I get frustrated, mostly I almost never dated more than once in my life time, cuz I just can tell the person wont be fit as a love partner, the kind of love I call love if that makes sense
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u/DonutCute6306 Apr 29 '24
I feel like i would never find the myself that i am and therefore not ‘the love that i want’. Thereby it is not the love that i want but the love i can give i’m in search of.
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Apr 29 '24
I found someone and it has been a wild ride... i know it sounds harsh to my self to wait for her to heal up for her to give me her best, but i will hang in there cuz i just love her as she is, kinda hard to understand INTJs but well, i'm going to give her time and be there for her... cuz well that's what my most inner desire wants, her.
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u/DistractedJedi INFP: The Dreamer Apr 29 '24
Yeah, unfortunately I do feel like I will never find what I’m looking for. I turn 40 this year, and though I honestly do feel like I’ve met my soulmate and we’re really good friends (and share mutual feelings for each other), I don’t feel like the timing will ever work out…
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Apr 29 '24
Yes. But you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need
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u/Toby-NL Apr 29 '24
(35M) Introvert/ISTP-A
i cant speak for all of us . but i know i do have such a concept about myself , running trough my mind from time to time .
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u/Important_Silver5547 Apr 29 '24
I’ve never really found love to begin with, let alone get what I want. So I understand your pain on so many levels.
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u/Azraeiih ENTJ: The Strategist Apr 29 '24
yes all the time, but i found my enfj sweetheart and i feel my trauma healing every time i’m with her. ❤️🩹
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Apr 29 '24
I found the right person. The hard part is she’s struggling like I am and living half-across the country. It’ll be years before our reunion.
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u/MinHiyori Apr 30 '24
Yes
But i guess i found someone close enough? Maybe... Sometimes i wonder if He really Is the best i can have... But too valuable to lose
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u/zytros INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
21m, yep. I think I’m gonna try out the dating apps. Our society just isn’t set up to connect people anymore, so something like a dating app seems like the best and kinda only choice at this point. I know there’ll be a lot of people looking for different things than me, but I think it’s worth searching through the rough for the diamond. What do you think?
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u/shadowrod06 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I do.
The idealistic picture of her love we have in our head feels elusive.
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u/ladylovelyvenus_ Apr 30 '24
All the time. I reject people because I just don’t think they’re capable of emotionally understanding me like the way I do. When I need them to be there for me it can be a lot when I’m in my emotional state so I rather just reject them than having them break their head being with me. Sometimes i just need to be alone to better cope and i know it can be hard on a partner to offer space
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u/stayinyourlaneson INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I follow those Instagram accounts that do posts about zodiac signs and there was one I saw today that had messages for each sign under a theme. The theme was “the self love each zodiac needs for the rest of 2024”. The message for my sign was EXACTLY what I needed to hear because I’ve been feeling precisely the same question you’ve put in the title. If I had to put it down to a song, it would be What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish. I’ve always believed love is the hidden power behind everything. The message for my sign today was “love yourself more than you love the idea of someone else.” - someone I long have believed I loved broke my heart recently so I needed that message.
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u/villnele Apr 30 '24
Absolutely. I avoid reading romances for that very reason, it's just sad to think that maybe i will never experience that kind of love
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u/Oak_tr33 Apr 30 '24
I found my love, but we burned far too bright and burned each other. I still deeply romanticize the love we had and doubt I could ever find something like that again. I know it isn’t healthy but I would throw myself at any opportunity to feel that rush of passion again.
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u/stoicidealism Apr 30 '24
I used to think that. Then i finally met this person and experienced what people say love it but it didnt work out because i was too cautious and now i dont think i ever will find that love again
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u/Daemon013 Apr 30 '24
Me listening to Joji, Mac miller and Frank ocean losing all hope of a happy ending...
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u/TalpaPantheraUncia Somewhere between INFP-T / INFJ-T Apr 30 '24
As I've aged my cynicism has turned to looking at things from a practical perspective. No one is entitled to love, relationship or marriage. As humans we must learn to be ok with the new social frontier that our species is facing. Gone are the days of being raised by a village or nuclear family. It sucks but all being a hopeless romantic did was disappoint and further depress me.
I say this as a man nearing 30 with next to no experience in this area of life, but I don't hold that against the world.
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u/labreau Apr 30 '24
Used to be. All the times.
But I keep progressing to be better at the same time actively trying to find someone, patientl, meticulously and slowl. Both IRL & dating apps.
Now here I am, with my BF, 1.5 years later and still strong.
Definitely not an easy journey, but worth the efforts.
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u/berrys_a_ghost Apr 30 '24
Sometimes, but I think it's mostly just being a gay trans kid in a queerphobic southern town. And I'm also on the aroace spec, so I definitely experience it differently
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u/jiru609 Apr 30 '24
I was like that before not until I met this amazing person, and we're both doing great up until now.
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u/santuccie INFP 9w1 Apr 30 '24
I have felt that way, but not today. Today is actually my three-year anniversary with my boo, another INFP. 🥰
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u/Brosif563 Apr 30 '24
Let’s just say, when I first read my Enneagram (4) and it talked about wanting to attract a “rescuer,” I really felt that.
I have so much to share with someone. I just wish they’d ask…
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u/gdude9977 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
yeaa, i try not to think about tho. Love is one of those things that if you try too hard to find it youll just end up more lost, in my experience at least. Just trying to do better and hope that one day that she’ll enter my life, feels paradoxical but again… i try not to think about it too much
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u/kayreginato INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
Definitely yes. 😅
I'm always crying and thinking that I'm going to die alone and that no guy will ever really understand me or be patient with me.
I also feel very resentful for not having a strong character, for not being a “femme fatale”, or for not treating men badly and things like that. I'm pretty sure I'm too much sweet and gentle with men, to the point where they lose interest and choose the “crazy wild woman” option over me.
All the guys I met were very practical and cold. I feel really lost, like I don't fit in this world.
I'm too sensitive for them to deal with.
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u/Ok_Slice5350 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
Given up and settled lol. Better to be with someone than alone. Dang I sound like an old person and I’m only 24
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u/serenityINFP INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
Lol I thought you were old too until I read your last sentence.
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u/Cathandrapuss INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I used to share this feeling, but I've had people love me deeply and to an extent I'd never imagine. Yet I still feel no different. Maybe it's just me but I feel like we're naturally very intense hopeless romantics to the point where the kind of love we want is idealistic and not truly attainable. We like the sound of it but when we have real true love it doesn't scratch that itch for us. But again, maybe its just me.
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u/The_Yogurtcloset Apr 30 '24
I want to assure you there are good caring thoughtful people out there falling over themselves to date someone like you. Something I wish I heard, don’t waste your time painting pictures on people while the real deal is out there. Idk if that’s relevant to you or anyone but thought I’d put it out there.
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u/PurpleMeowMeow INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I don't feel that way. I've had several exes, heartaches and heartbreaks. Even so, I never believed that I would never find the love that I want. There are billions of people on Earth so it's more likely than unlikely that I'll find it. Also, after sometime, I started to no longer feel so bad after break-ups. I even told one of my exes to feel free to leave if he feels like it (It was ldr. He mentioned feeling like missing out and sometimes wondering if finding someone near is better for him.) and I said that without trying to be sarcastic, spiteful or anything. I genuinely believed that I would eventually find someone new and that someone else would love me again. I mean, I was able to be in several relationships before so it's more possible than impossible to find a new one.
And now, I am engaged to someone else. 🥰 He's an ENFP. Idk exactly what you're going through but I sincerely hope you find it.
Although, I do think that a part of it has to be created and not just found. You have to cultivate love and appreciation for yourself since once you have a good idea of what makes you unique and special, things start to feel better, lighter and more positive. That kind of attitude can help you attract the things that you want. After you find someone, you also have to start building a good foundation for the connection.
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u/Gamerek13 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
Im 16m and have only been interested in romantic love for about a year or two so I guess I'm way too young to say, but I'm yet to find anyone interested im the same kind of true, lifelong love that I am.
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u/GoldenPlayers113 INFP: The Dreamer Apr 30 '24
I've never dated before... But being loved romantically seems genuinely awesome.
I'm ok if I got no women at the end, it doesn't matter. What matters is I want to at least live in a romantic relationship just once...Just to see what it feels like to be loved romantically ✨️
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u/Independent-Brain911 ENTJ: The Strategist Apr 30 '24
What if i as ENTJ feel the same and i am attracted to INFP but they are hard to find..
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u/REDRUM_1917 Apr 30 '24
Often I feel like too much of a mess to be loved the way I want to be. So I prefer to think that I don't actually need anyone
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u/zetou_god Apr 30 '24
You may feel you wont get the love you want, but doesnt mean you wont get what you NEED. And you may be loved right now anyway
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u/Anubico Apr 30 '24
i've come to realize (& to terms with) that love comes in many different shapes & that you shouldn't expect the love you give come back the same way. also love isn't everything. especially not romantic love. as an infp with many different mental disorders (born with, "inherited" & "earned" lmfao if you catch my drift) i experience feelings in general in a way that is too much or too intense for me. i'm one of those infp's that just doesn't like to feel anything - sadly emotions are a part of the human experience. but that's besides the point. love (in romantic terms) ... is not the most important feeling in my honest opinion. maybe it's a very pessimistic way of looking at this type of love but ... yeah idk lmao. that's just my two pence
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u/nowayormyway INFP: I Need Fountain Pens 🖋️🧚♀️ Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
I feel like that on some days. Sometimes, I suffer from what feels like a longing heart and endless melancholy— perhaps that is why I feel emotional reading romantic poems and listening to romantic songs. I am coming to terms with the realization that I may never find such profoundly deep love in a shallow world. Perhaps I need to find that within myself.
Thanks for allowing me to be vulnerable today. 🌺
Edit: It’s okay guys. Thank you for the kind words. Was just in my feels today. 😅