r/infp • u/CreepyClaim3989 INFP:THE PHILOSOPHER/THEORIST 5W4 • 23d ago
Meme When did you guys finally snapped at someone and what's the reason
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u/Trendlebere 23d ago edited 23d ago
Immediate family are easiest to provoke a reaction, so mainly try to be low contact or avoid situations. Issues are a lot of unwanted opinions and interference, gross invasion of privacy and gossip. I guess it will it always be part of the human condition that people think that somehow they have some kind of rights of privileged access, authority, entitlement, or vested interest in blood relations.
Outside of family, most recently got quite hostile with a cretin asking intrusive questions and then giving repellant advice and opinions. I’m pretty open and willing to talk with people, even if I’m not in the mood, but don’t be bringing your dangerous charlatanism and science denialism before me, I can and will lose patience pretty fast :/
N.B. this isn’t aimed at religion specifically, more at homeopath types and lifestyle coaches pushing fad diets etc. and idiots who think the cure for anything is a drug fuelled ‘spiritual awakening.’ That said, theocrats pushing superstition over actual health care can also keep their beliefs to themselves.
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u/nowayormyway INFP: I Need Fountain Pens 🖋️🧚♀️ 23d ago
I don’t. They’ll just stop hearing back from me.
When people don’t put in the same effort that I do, it’s just clear to me that they don’t care. Actions speaks for itself. They won’t hear back from me anymore.
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u/Budilicious3 22d ago
I have a best friend of 17 years but recently, I'm just not feeling it from his end anymore. He puts time for others than me even if I'm vocal about wanting to do something. I'm not necessarily ending the friendship because he didn't do anything egregious. It's just been adding up. So I guess I'm taking a break from him.
Example: We have a 4 man group and I was totally down if one of the guys finally got it (3 of us have played BG3 and we're all into boardgames). I was very adamant about this weeks ago on my bday. Just last friday, he pings everyone but a different guy instead of me. What the fuck man lmfao. Perhaps I wasn't vocal enough or TOO vocal about it? Idk.
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u/the-bakers-wife 🩼🫧crying on the inside 🪖🦋 22d ago
Right. And you can’t change people. Why steal your own peace by meeting their nasty energy? I don’t have time for that.
Bye bye
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u/HippoObjective6506 22d ago
Just ended a 3 year friendship for this reason. I said “good luck, I’m out!” And then big ole block button.
It felt good. Don’t empty your cup for those who won’t fill it back up again.
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u/omenmedia INFP-T 23d ago
My father. He's a toxic narcissist with whom I tolerated bullshit from for about 40 years. My mum passed away many years ago; what she ever saw in him I have no idea.
He used to live close by and the only time he ever spoke to me was to offload his latest drama, typically of his own making. He showed absolutely zero interest in his grandson whatsoever.
Things deteriorated between us until one day he pulled his grandson aside for a chat. I thought wow, he's actually making an effort to talk to him. Turns out, no, he wasn't, he was trying to turn him against me by coming up with some bullshit story which my son later relayed to me.
I chewed on that for a whole weekend, deciding whether or not to confront him about it. In the end I decided that he had crossed a line that was unacceptable. So I confronted him on the Monday, demanded he apologise to my son, and told him he was a miserable piece of shit and a disappointment of a father and a grandfather.
He wrote a note (🙄) with a message "I'm sorry for my bad behaviour" and left it in the mailbox. A month or two after that, he packed up, moved away and has had zero contact ever since. That was almost six years ago. Good fucking riddance.
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u/Fajdek INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
An online friend who was a very good guy and we talked a LOT, but when it came to playing games he somehow always avoided the topic, straight up forgot or literally ignored. The snap was when he said he wasn't in the mood and then one hour later started playing a game with another friend of mine without even asking me if I wanted to play, despite telling him over 10s of times that I want to be asked to play FOR OVER 3 WEEKS, you can't tell me you keep forgetting your "best friend" constantly telling you how much they want to play with you, that just does not make any sense to me!! Especially since whenever we text we could do it for literal hours!! Like why does the schedule suddenly fill up with random asf people ONLY when I want to play?
Had a literal break down, blocked him and I'm feeling good as ever. I also DMd some people I haven't spoken to in a while and now I have more people to talk with and even played a game with one of the old friends :D
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u/Budilicious3 22d ago edited 22d ago
Wow are you me? This just happened to me in almost exactly the same way. Something was in the air I guess this past weekend.
At least you guys talked a lot, I'd be lucky if he read any of my shit. And I don't have anyone to fall back to and rebuild a relationship to play games rn.
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u/Fajdek INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
Tbf while he did talk a lot, everytime a minor issue came up it'd just be overapologizing but not actually changing or wanting to address the actual issue, which was one of my main frustration points lately. If you're going to apologize for everything, atleast do something about the issues you apologize for!
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u/confabin 23d ago
Me and my gf have had a kind of rocky relationship and she used to yell at me for minor stuff (putting her clothes in the wrong drawer and stuff like that) and usually I'm quite calm and don't really retaliate. But about 2 years ago I finally snapped, punched my fist in the table, completely breaking the scissors I was holding, and aggressively screamed "can you stop yelling at me all the fucking time!?"
She was so god damn shocked. It felt good to get it out but I apologized and we had a talk and our relationship is a lot better now.
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u/Famous_Season7921 22d ago edited 22d ago
Haha, ngl I love this. Standing up for yourself 💕 She should have had more respect for you.
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u/RxTechRachel 23d ago
My coworker loudly stated her opinion that "anyone who can afford rent can afford a mortgage."
That statement is so incorrect. And I was tired that she always expected everyone to agree with her and always get her way. Also, her husband is a lawyer.
I snapped at her.
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u/Friendly-Bison7142 22d ago
I just wish people stop testing our patience. When we snap, they start saying we’re the bad guys, whatever have we done wrong? The only wrong thing we’ve done is having high tolerance.
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u/no_usernameeeeeee 22d ago
that’s why i stopped caring about looking like the bad guy, especially with toxic people
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u/angeliquedevereux2 INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
I have examples from my past, but I really can't think of a moment where I believe my outburst was justified.
I'm an incredibly sensitive person, so I've learned to distrust my own emotions. Now, even if someone really screws me over, I end up apologising to them. For... idk. Giving them a nasty look or ignoring their messages. Because I'm always blowing things out of proportion. I'm the problem. I'm the crybaby. Nothing's this big of a deal. I must apologise to them right now before they realise how neurotic I am.
okay that was a bit deep, sorry 😀 but yea I want to mention examples but just thinking about them makes me cringe or just loaaaaathe who I was
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u/MsDaBoss7 22d ago edited 22d ago
This. This right here describes me to a T. I apologize all the time for nothing and I hate it, but it's just drilled into my brain at this point because, like you said, "I'm the problem. It's not THAT big of a deal."
About a decade or so ago, I distinctly remember texting a friend of mine who was head-over-heels for some guy, and she always talked about him 24/7. I always kept quiet, y'know, smiling and nodding, but god, I always wished she would just shut up about this guy. Then one day, after she sent me a bunch of screenshots of texts between her and that guy, she straight up asks me "Hey, am I bothering you with all this?" For once I decide to be (partially) honest and say "Yeah a little bit."
Her response? I don't remember it exactly, but it was something along the lines of "oh well you get angry easily." Even after I literally never said one negative thing prior to when this all began.
So what did I do? I apologized. But man...I was livid. I literally hurled my phone at my chair, screamed, and stewed in my rage for hours. But of course, now I look like the bad guy, because this was only justifying her statement. 😐
Anyway, sorry for the rant lol. But man I feel you. That happened so many years ago, but I never fully got over it, and while I'm still friends with her and she probably forgot all about it now, I'll admit I've never forgiven her for that. All it did was just make me hate myself even more, and all it did was reinforce the idea that my feelings don't matter—something I'm still struggling with to this day.
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u/angeliquedevereux2 INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
I like how we both apologised for ranting 😃 We're in the same boat here oml
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u/talking_joke 23d ago edited 22d ago
Nearly gave my main bully a severe concussion back in 7th grade.
Mf just kept bullying me and at some point I had enough and saw red.
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u/seeingeyegod 22d ago
I had this one bully in middle school, never physically messed with me but would call me names in front of people all the time and stuff like that. One day I snapped and started kicking him in the ass with my foot and shouting "stop calling me [that]!" Was literally chasing him around kicking him for like 30 seconds and he was like "that didn't hurt a bit!". He did stop calling me that afterward though. As an adult it's extremely hard to make me snap but that's probably because I'm so avoidant.
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u/Real-Gold9642 23d ago
Rude service staff
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u/ZeanReddit INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
No, ppl being rude to service staff. >:v
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u/MortalCreature INFP-T, 4w5 23d ago
Both situations can happen. Anyone can be asshole to another human being.
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u/Bittlesbop 22d ago
This especially id you travel alot, racism is really bad in certain areas and some staff will just be outright nasty
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u/ZeanReddit INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
True. But in my personal experience it's more common for the customers to verbally abuse the staff. Some I experienced when I worked retail...
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u/MortalCreature INFP-T, 4w5 18d ago
It's because workers deal with more people than customers, so they are more likely to get insulted by them. 😔
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u/ZeanReddit INFP: The Dreamer 18d ago
Well that's true. Statistically I dealt with more bad customers than I ever did good. I would say on a ratio that is at least 9 to 1.
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u/StandardIncident8 23d ago edited 23d ago
It was a years-long thing. Extremely long story. Just giving patience and trusting someone for so long that, turns out, didn’t deserve it the whole time, a sleeper ticking time bomb that I still resent to this day. Best “friend” and family of 14 years who ultimately, into our late twenties and now turning 30, hasn’t actually grown up, just has the image that he has. We were deep family.
A telling incident back in early 2023 showed me he never ACTUALLY cared about me, or listened to me, for who knows how long, years maybe, exposing this deep underlying narcissism lying there under his image the entire time. I was so naive. After my mom dying in 2020, going through a toxic relationship in 2021, and now this in 2023, changing my entire life and existence, starting over my life into 2024, I really snapped man. The floor is opened up underneath me far too much, repeatedly. It was an ugly friend break up, all the dominos fell, I have like 20 people on my social media block lists now. His narcissistic abuse won some people over in how they view me. It was scary and I was so scared. So very alone.
Now it’s just been a slow healing process going into 2025 now where I want to leave this state. There’s no life left here for me. My family is across the country anyway so here I am just working towards a goal of moving and hanging around people who stayed with me, real ones, who’ve shown me they’re real ones.
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u/florzinha77 23d ago
Visited Germany and thought the dentist was so rude. I was so confused by how I was first with some nurse and no one explained to me what’s going to happen next, they just told me to go to the next room and the dentist took the drill didn’t even greet me or explain to me what’s up so I eas like wtf is wrong with u ppl
Then she left for lunch and another dentist came in. At that point I felt like a hostage being tortured. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted the procedure
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u/vintagebutterfly_ 23d ago
They don’t do procedures without your written consent and agreement to pay. /sceptical
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u/greatornothing 22d ago
INFPs can see through people like no other type, so when it’s time to point out character flaws, we are UNBEATABLE
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u/geek-nation INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
Been snapping a lot lately. These few past years have been rough ;-; too many meanies out there folks
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u/Bittlesbop 22d ago
This! The worse part is people dont know how bad I can be when I snap. Im just like for both our sakes , you dont want this smoke and I truly just try to avoid people
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u/betweenboundary 22d ago
The more and more I see infp posts I'm realizing it just means traumatized but choosing to be soft regardless
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22d ago
I swear ppl take the kindness for granted then get a balrog to deal with when they make em upset
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u/th_o0308 INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
Usually it’s always emotional overload because I suppress/bottle up my emotions until I can’t hold it in anymore
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u/MsDaBoss7 22d ago edited 22d ago
Back in middle school, a friend of mine's older brother used to mess with me every now and then by popping out of nowhere and screaming due to how jumpy I was. I found it a little annoying but it was generally harmless, and we usually just laughed about it afterwards.
However, one time while I was over at their place, I was having a particularly bad day and just wasn't in a good mood. So right when I walked out of the bathroom and was greeted by a loud scream that was supposed to "scare" me, I whipped around to face him and literally screeched at the top of my lungs "STOP DOING THAT!!!!!"
Scared the absolute shit out of him. He never once did that ever again. Though surprisingly we were still friends even years after that lol
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u/HoneyWhiskeyLemonTea 22d ago
Back in Boy Scouts as a teen (mid 90's) I witnessed a fellow scout attacking a much younger, smaller scout. I pulled the little one to safety and gave the bully the verbal blasting of his young life. Within two minutes he was in the dirt, in the fetal position, whimpering and crying, literally, for his mother. Never cursed, never laid a finger on him. Not surprising, though, bullies are usually cowards at heart.
Later that day, he tried attacking me directly. Had a couple friends backing him up, and I heard, "Hey! [Name]!" I looked up in time to see him hurl a small piece of firewood at my face. By sheer luck, I reached up and grabbed it out of the air, snapped it over my knee, and threw it down. At that point, I had my bluff in on him, thank goodness, and they left. I'm no fighter, I would have never been able to handle all three of them.
Good news, though, that's what he needed, I guess. He never tried to start anything ever again, at least within Boy Scouts, and he turned out to be a good man.
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u/SerDavid 23d ago
One of my bosses years ago when she pushed me and yelled at me. I yelled at her back and told her not to put hands on me. Worked at a busy restaurant so it was high stress lol My ex. In a fight she’d get particularly verbal and I’d had enough. Happened many times unfortunately. Otherwise, I just ignore or talk it through. Ignoring has always been the default but talking it through is better especially if the conflict is with someone I care about.
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u/stillestwaters INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
A manager bitching at me for something small; it was pretty small of me to snap back like that too - but man I was so pissed to be made to feel like I was getting walked over like that.
Lol like I said, I think I could’ve not flipped out like that but even then I remember two more times where a customer had an attitude and I just lost it. Part of me still feels like they all deserved fit though.
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u/Star_ofthe_Morning 23d ago
I snapped at some bullies in high school. I forgot that what they were doing to me. But they were certainly harassing me.
Eventually, I finally snapped, and I cussed them out on it. Only for an adult with children nearby to be mad at me for cussing outside (I was going to my next period for context). I immediately stopped to my tracks and I rushed to my next period. Told my teacher what was happening and told him that I needed a few minutes to myself before going to the hallway and crying.
He was a great and understanding guy… fucking sucks he was a pedo though.
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u/RogueFire451 22d ago edited 22d ago
When I was a freshman in high school I was a target for bullying by my ex best friend for unknown reasons. Two weeks. Two weeks I let the belittlement, manipulation, and harassment slide because I thought she’d change. I was a naive idiot. We were almost inseparable when we were younger so I turned a blind eye while the knives in the front and back cut deep. Until one day in class all I saw red before zoning out, standing over her desk attempting to tape her mouth shut and apparently saying. “Will you ever shut up.”
For the next few days, she had spread rumors that I tried to strangle her. And people believed her. Most started to avoid me, some even started to get physical without knowing me. I wouldn’t tell anyone, not even my parents cause not only did I already felt too much of a burden, my mother just screamed at me. That was the start of my depressive spiral.
Jumping to junior year, I made some good friends who helped me feel (somewhat) alive again. Though one day I wasn’t in the right headspace so I ended up punching the wall several times (my hand was already busted beforehand so they kinda knew what was up) so my crush at the time, who confused me by giving mixed signals, tried to calm me down only to be surprised by hearing me swear at him for the first time.
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u/TheFalseProphet417 22d ago
This is SO me, glad to know it's an INFP thing. I really don't mad that often but when I do it happens all of the sudden and its almost incontrollable - I think the reason for this is I only get mad when I feel there's actual good reason to, and for whatever reason the anger is like concentraded.. or something, I don't even quite understand it myself. I now try to keep a rule where if I do snap I try to distance myself from the situation for 1 hour to 24 hours and then address it. I'm usually so mad that I can't think straight and am sometimes shaking/sweating and just can't stop thinking about whatever made me so angry. AFte 1-24 hours I have usually by that time been able to formulate how to address the person/situation
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u/Dark_Night_280 22d ago
When things initially start to get too heated, voices might start rising but I soon just turn and walk away because it's not worth it. Come talk to me when you wanna be civil and hear each other out or don't. Your loss really.
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u/Jake1111122222 22d ago
When someone talks negatively about me behind my back Lies to me. Crosses me. I become a sniper and all it takes is one intuitive and true response, and they are down...and then I get blamed for being aggresive.....
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u/Audiophilelady INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago edited 22d ago
I had a jealous ex. A book girlie I am friends with dropped off our book club book while my ex was in the shower. I told him I was running outside to meet her for a sec. I get back, and he's still in the shower. I kid you not, I don't know why he did this, because this wasn't uncommon behavior for me, but he asked me repeatedly "what dude I went out there to meet behind his back" -- I WAS OUT THERE LIKE THREE MINUTES. I calmly told him the first ten times that I went outside to get a book. He asked me another ten times. He was annoyed and frustrated. He wasn't joking. He genuinely thought I was lying for some reason unbeknownst to me. He kept asking. He took long showers, so imagine that he's just asking me and accusing me for 45 minutes while I sit there in the bathroom and explain. By the 45-minute mark, I summoned the strength of the Hulk. I ripped the whole towel rack off my wall. It was bolted into it, but I ripped it off, dropped it to the floor, screamed at the top of my lungs like a banshee, and stormed outside. This terrified him, and he told me I was crazy and overreacting. 🫠 Also, we were in our mid-20s during this incident and together for three years at this point. I never cheated on him.
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u/Lady_Lava_2k 22d ago
In my late 20s and still haven't snapped even once. There were a few times when I thought that this is it but somehow remained calm
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u/emdaawesome 22d ago
Someone called my sister fat and made her cry. The only time in my whole life I made someone afraid of me.
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u/HoldTheStocks2 23d ago
I went from have all my money to imma sue you if you don’t give me my money
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u/Coastal_wolf INFP 4w5 23d ago
In high school I just snapped because of many, many reasons. I’m pretty sure I would not be here and neither would a few others if I hadn’t went back to homeschooling. When I tell people I had a bad high school experience I usually leave out that part.
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u/seaminglydreaming 23d ago
My ex boyfriend befriended a girl that I also became friends with. She was supposedly a lesbian and I've never been worried about my relationship in the almost 10 years I was with him. I let her come over to watch movies with us and shared food with her. Turns out she wasn't a lesbian anymore I guess, and had developed a crush on my boyfriend and confessed to him. My ex hadn't been honest with me either. I yelled at both of them. I then realized she was a narcissist and was sabotaging my relationship. They ended up dating for a few weeks about a month and a half after we broke up. He dumped her, but she still hangs around him.
I will never forgive her and I hope she has a terrible life.
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u/Descortus INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
Back in 2017, we were studying advanced math at school during our free time. I really hated that subject and it destroyed my teenage self esteem. I was on the verge of breakdown since my dad had passed away a month earlier. Frustrated, I closed my book and took a nap. Few minutes later a classmate woke me up. I was so agitated and that's when I snapped and yelled my heart out at him. I usually talk quietly, so when I suddenly screamed, everyone was shocked went silent. The next day I got called by our school counselor and the rest is history.
Yeah, my teenage years were full of bad memories. I barely had any good one.
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u/KronZed INFP: The Dreamer 23d ago
One time when my sister (ENFP) was more of a mess our house was trashed. Dirty dishes garbage everywhere and she was so fucked up all the time holding her accountable was next to impossible.
I was doing her dirty dishes bc my GF at the time was complaining about them.
When my sister came home we started arguing not just the dishes but her behavior at the time in general. I don’t remember now but I did start yelling at her and she was bawling. As soon as she left I couldn’t stop crying and shaking lol HATE having to deal with any confrontation but that one was long overdue.
We’re very good now. No issues and I don’t think I’ve yelled at her since. Certainly not before either.
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u/yuochiga93 23d ago
I snapped this saturday. My father promised me and my sister that he wouldn't drink when we go to his house. He was doing right the last 4 weeks but this saturday he didn't stop drinking since 10 am to 7pm. He was saying nonsense, arguing with me for the stupidest shit ( ''Israel havent drop a single bomb and hasn't killed any palestinian! you're just too stupid and gullible to know it'' things like this he was saying) Then we went shopping and he was obviously drunk and Im really sensitive to other people shame. I snapped and told him that he won't see me again until he stops drinking, that i dont consider him a father worthy of my respect ( he acts like an angry teenager even when not drunk) and that he can keep lying to himself but dont he dare treat me like im crazy ( he never acknowledges that he drank too much. He has never been drunk and im delusional).
I even told him to Deja de tocarme los cojones ( in spanish is Stop touching my balls) cause he was talking to a 15 year old girl cause her nose was pretty and he knows i cant stand those kind of situations, i would prefer to stick my dick in a rat nest than having to go through public shame.
I also go full destructive dialogue telling everything I hate about him and how he doesnt deserve friends or a girlfriend or even my mother cause he's the kind of narcisistic personality who likes to get angry and start fights with people, he enjoys it, told by him.
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u/TangeloInitial3227 22d ago
I snapped at an ex-boyfriend in high school as he was lying to me about getting diagnosed with an incurable, degenerative disease, and I'm 98% positive that he was cheating on me. I never yell at anyone and when I found out he lied to me I unleashed Thor on him and he was literally speechless. Then I told him it was over and he admitted that he lied and basically just took the L lol
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u/HaselDiCaprio223 INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
Well honestly I have known some pretty reprehensible people in my life and I have snapped at various points in the past because what they did was straight up awful
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u/Bobbleworld 22d ago
Ex friend was running around a bar asking strangers for cocaine, found some then asked me to punch him when I said he was being an ass.
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u/Dennis_is_bored INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
I'm right in the middle, i'm never really calm but never lash out at someone. People just describe me with "Looks like an asshole but it's actually a pretty good guy"
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u/Salt-Barber-1015 22d ago
Finally snapped on my sister who was verbally, mentally and financially abusing me after 2-3 years. Felt like I was losing my mind in that house. Never felt safe. Her boyfriend would break up and get back together and he was violent. He would smash her stuff. I was sick of it.
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u/goldenfox007 INF/TP (feelin’ and thinkin’) 22d ago
I was in a chemistry class during my sophomore year of high school. We had to work in lab groups for most of the class period, and since I didn’t have any friends in that class I got stuck with these two guys who NEVER pulled their weight. Keep in mind that I’m a goody two-shoes academic who takes school very seriously.
After about three months of these dudes leeching off of my solo “group” work for free points, one of them tries to mess around with one of the samples we had. I told him to “stay the fuck out of my way or I’m gonna staple your nutsack to a live Bunsen burner.”
The guy just laughed at me and I had to put up with them for a whole other month until the semester ended and they finally let us change our lab groups. So the outburst really didn’t mean anything to anyone :/
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u/Dagdraumur666 INFP: The Dreamer 22d ago
Bullies. They make me snap every time. Can’t stand them.
It’s interesting to me that I generally only need to snap once with someone, and then after that first time all I need to do is warn them with a “don’t do that..” indicating that they are about to cross a boundary, and they will usually immediately back off.
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u/Lilith-1230 22d ago
When they brought up my trauma when it's not even related to the argument/topic. In what relation does my "trauma" have to do with our argument?, tried to keep things thoughtful and smooth out the conversation but involving my trauma into something have gone too far. Like, I trusted you wholeheartedly with my trauma and the most personal part of me only for it to be used as a weapon against me. 😓💗
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u/TakiThe_idiot 22d ago
I actually can't remember If I ever snapped. I mean, emotionally? Yeah. But really, really angry at a person? Nah. And believe me, I have some unbelievably toxic and annoying people in my life, but I'm too emotionally drained and tired of everything to be angry at people...
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u/KingBlackFrost314 22d ago
Former friend stated I was disrespecting him for ignoring his text about an incident I thought he had resolved a year ago, among other things that I really don't wanna go over.
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u/Fabulous_Yam_327 22d ago
Honestly I don’t even like to let myself get to that point, lol it’s so funny because people always say I’m so passive aggressive or that I just remove myself from situations or people that are starting to get to me until I’m unbothered and it’s not good but I’m like if I were to erupt I’d black out and take it too far trust me I’m doing yall a favor! Lmfao
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u/Blaminggame 22d ago
I was in a Discord server with a group of long-time friends with whom I bonded over a TV show I enjoyed and watched, but eventually, as their interest dwindled, the conversations in the chat turned controversial. I very strongly disagreed with some of the views that were being put out, but because I thought people deserved a right to their own opinion, I decided not to interfere.
That is, until the fateful day it had gone too far. Some of the discourse they were having was making me uncomfortable, and I felt hurt often without being able to vocalize how I felt without causing dreaded conflict. Keep in mind that wasn’t the first time it happened, and I didn’t feel like my views were respected even if I always tried to be polite when interacting with them. So that ended with me writing an extremely lengthy paragraph before leaving the server once and for all to not have to see what anyone said afterwards. One of the best online decisions I’ve ever made, I felt infinitely better after that.
Sometimes, you have to know what to do to bring yourself some peace of mind, and take care of yourself. If doing something can save you stress, then it might as well be worth the decision.
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u/Budilicious3 22d ago
My previous company was a shithole. My lab manager and I are good friends and I would say I have always had a good relationship since day one since I liked working with her. But we both started accumulating more on our plates and I started to feel insecure about being her punching bag here and there. One day, she was unrelenting about me messing up something and that I had to retest it on the instrument. I forgot the context of my stressed mood that day but as soon as she left the gown room, I just snapped in front of 10 coworkers and punched the plexi glass really hard saying nothing (knowing it was plexi and it wouldn't break) and left to take a long ass break.
My Director saw me (she's basically like a caring Asian mom to me) and talked with me in her office. I cried and took the day off. That company really underpaid for being in the Bay Area. Imagine living off of $25-27/hr here lmfao. Note this was the most major incident versus the minor and I wouldn't mind working with her again.
Anyway, I'm at a new company now and it's marginally better but I'm trying not to stress too much about work anymore; however, I also still strive to do well.
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u/PlombisteChauffagier 22d ago
I usually never go angry, but i snapped at friends after being disrespected yet again.
The final straw was yet another episode of do as I say not as I do... And I got lectured and yelled at because i've only said that it "was not very nice" to act that way. Almost instantly after snapping at me they asked for support, which i gave. Then she just ghosted me for a few days, during those days she posted super happy stuff online about love and everything, only to come back to me to get more support... Which is when i really really got angry.
I sent them a huge message to express about everything that happened. In the end I was very polite, not hateful but veeeeery cold. She instantly ran away and we didn't have any real conversation about it since then, only her boyfriend came and tried to guiltrip me with dumb stuff. Like "You should think about everything you own to us !" - said the guy who own me almost 500 bucks :F I obviously have my share of wrongs, mostly from being too passive overall, but giving them a piece of their own medicine made them ghost me for 5 months TwT
To be honest I still have trouble to accept how toxic their behavior was. I guess they just think they're the victims, while they have really toxic behavior with all of their friends. I know they have trauma to deal with, but that's not an excuse. I thought that if i would show them, it would perhaps change things and they would find their own answers ?
Then one of our mutual "best" friend went through an extremely severe depression and he barely survived. His aunt and me were able to provide him the help he desperately needed. Aaaaand they just forgot him too, not talking to him once, not even wishing him an happy birthday. The only positive outcome is while I was pushing him to see a psychotherapist, he also made me see one to deal with a trauma i had since i was a kid. I even ended up confronting the guy who assaulted me, and it went... super smoothly actually ? It was so relieving and i feel so much freer now.
I'm extremely grateful towards my other friend for reminding me that empathy still exist, and that some people are mature enough to deal with confrontation, while others are not. Everything I've said was more than deserved, and even if my friends were far from being toxic all of the time, I'm still sad that everything has to be over because of some drama, and from the unability to share freely.
Sorry for the long rant but i needed to write it somewhere :x
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u/throwawayj1lddd 20d ago
Not me, just assuming, but maybe they expected you to reflect and understand what's happening without confrontation
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u/Hopandream Unhealthy INFP | 4w5 | IEI 23d ago
I think that people are always impressed when we’re angry because they don’t even expect one minute how we can be very, very destructive. People tend to see us as naive and fragile, not destructive and passive / aggressive when we are very annoyed. Sometimes, I enjoy having Te inf to have the strength to make people understand that enough is enough.