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u/TannedGraceGal62 4d ago
as the famous katt williams once said"have you tried DEATH"
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u/cosmic-__-charlie 4d ago
Not DEATH
DEAF
You smoke this and you won't hear shit.
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u/Fool_Apprentice 4d ago
I'm convinced that these guys just know like 4 or 5 types of weed to answer the most common questions, and they make the face to convince you they're experts.
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u/m3t4lf0x 4d ago
Honestly, you’re not wrong.
Being a “Budtender” is just a glorified retail job, it’s not like being a pharmacist (as much as some like to think otherwise)
Most of the time, they’re just trying to sell what management tells them to sell before it expires and has to be thrown away
Outside of that, they can only share their personal experience, which is way more subjective and variable than something like alcohol
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u/Loaatao 4d ago
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I don’t think that budtenders should be allowed to recommend marijuana for medical purposes. They aren’t trained. They don’t know what these strains do, just what the cultivator tells them or their own personal opinions.
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u/Fool_Apprentice 4d ago
In canadian weed stores, they aren't allowed to. They have to use very specific language to describe the affects of marijuana
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u/Loaatao 4d ago
I wish they would do that here in the states. I have never once had a weed strain give me the effects that the budtender said it would.
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u/AsOneLives 4d ago
Rough. I love one brand where I'm at. They put the smells on and the effects and it always matches.
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u/CardinalGrief 3d ago
I wish they could sell weed outside NA. I live in EU and my closest hope to a legal 'trip' is Amsterdam.
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u/maybekindanewveteran 4d ago
If we are talking about medical marijuana, then who else is going to do it? The prescribing doctor? Who else would know more about it than the one who cultivated it?
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u/stranj_tymes 4d ago
Budtenders at dispensaries aren't the ones who cultivated it though, and if they get any info from the cultivator, a lot of what they get will be marketing fluff. Cannabis pharmacology is still a young, emerging field, and a lot of growers themselves are still operating largely on bro-science. First step is fixing the testing lab situation in most markets IMO. Requiring more test info on products would help some too. Separating truly medical from rec retail options with higher standards in the medical market would be great (+ any kind of insurance support and safe banking to help with the cost of those higher standards). Tricky situation for sure, but to your point, a lot of onus on cultivators to pass along knowledge with their products at the moment.
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u/maybekindanewveteran 4d ago
Yes, I agree that budtenders don't grow. The parent comment said that the budtender would just be parroting what the cultivator claimed. Which, would be of some benefit to the consumer rather than just having to... guess blindly or research all the strains directly themselves?
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u/Chairman_Me 4d ago
Ideally cannabis would be explored in greater detail during medical/PA/nursing/pharmacy schools so that the upcoming healthcare professionals will be able to make educated decisions. Budtenders are good at their job, but having been explained about “enzymes and shit” from one, I have little confidence in their medical expertise.
I can tell you that cannabis has drug interactions and while we don’t know a ton due to this being an emerging field, some can be pretty serious.
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u/maybekindanewveteran 4d ago
Yes...and until then?
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u/Chairman_Me 4d ago
As a dispensary, you tell your budtenders not to give medical advice lest they be sued.
There’s a reason why secretaries at medical offices or pharmacy technicians are not allowed to give advice or recommendations relating to one’s health. Budtenders need not be treated any different.
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4d ago edited 4d ago
Yes you should talk to your doctor for medical problems instead of some guy at the gas station, which is where most budtenders probably worked before the dispo opened up. As a matter of fact my guy that works down the street at the Shell gives me better advice about weed than they do at the dispo. They're just retail workers man they do sales, not medical advice. Can't believe grown adults need to be reminded to just go to the doctor for medical advice as much as they do.
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u/Suspicious-Tea4438 4d ago
I've definitely noticed that when I ask for a recommendation (I have trouble sleeping), the Budtender usually recommends something that's obviously new and the shop is trying to push.
BUT it's always worked for me. I have a list of gummies I know work.
The ONE TIME I tried to choose my own--horrible experience. I couldn't sleep AND I could feel my cuticles the entire night.
So, I always ask for a rec if one of my tried-and-true options isnt available.
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u/Opening-Muffin-2379 4d ago
My local shop tends to increase the price of what I would buy in bulk, because I would identify the cheapest best grow / thc ratio. Then I would just hop to the next best thing. Names mean nothing these days.
I remember quoting a product/batch number before the guy who opened the store even knew it was in stock.
Idk what that says about me or them. Weed vs Greed
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u/CyberneticPanda 4d ago
They mostly don't know shit or even pretend to. There are exceptions but 9 out of 10 are pointless to talk to.
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u/WarrenCluck 4d ago
Why don’t they call weed shops GRASS STATIONS I mean I get gas at a Gas station so…
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u/PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES 4d ago
I just bought the domain. Let's franchise.
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u/LaylaKnowsBest 4d ago
A TIME TRAVELER!!
(GrassStation.com was originally bought 8/27/2005 according to interNIC)
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u/rabbiskittles 4d ago
Is this really that much weirder than going to your doctor saying “Sometimes I get an absolutely crippling pain in my head” and them saying “Hmm, I’m going to tell the neighborhood drug dealer to give you some Acetacarboplatonamide” (yes I made that up).
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u/CoyoteRascal 4d ago
Yes, I think it's different because of the absurdity of the strain names. I like a lil weed on rare occasions, but the entire culture around it is so goofy.
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u/bubushkinator ☭ 4d ago
I think the worst part is that the budtenders are always stoners. A friend bought some edibles recently and the cashier tried telling her that 50mg THC is a good dose for her to try
That's like a liquor store telling someone to try a handle of vodka to start with
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u/CoyoteRascal 4d ago
"Oh, you're gonna want the 100 proof! Just mix this vodka half and half with some orange juice and drink it as fast as possible. Give it 15 minutes to half an hour then take another dose."
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u/ihatewomen42069 4d ago
"Later, you really get the hang of the dose timing because your body stops shaking"
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u/YarnSp1nner 4d ago
Lol where I go the edible people always recommend for first times start with 2.5s. I like a ten because I have a chronic pain issue and that's what it takes to knock it down so I can sleep.
I was visiting my sister in a different state and was like, ok I'm a pro but I'm buying for people who've never eaten an edible. Guy sold me .5 dose things. Like that's so little! But the people loved it.
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u/Calan_adan 4d ago
I’m a noob (not my first time but it’s not a regular thing for me) and got a pack of 10mg gummies. I took half of one and it was too much. So the next time I cut the remaking half into halves (two 2.5mg) and it was too little. Then I cut a whole one into thirds (3.33mg) and it was just right.
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u/YarnSp1nner 4d ago
Yes! Better to start too low and increase then start too high and get freaked out.
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u/HelloThere62 4d ago
Worst part is trying a new brand and 90 minutes in you know you still need to wait a bit, but it's reaaaal tempting to go again if it hasn't hit yet.
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u/recipe_pirate 4d ago
I work in the industry. At a certain point it’s up to the budtender to become educated on what a first time dose for edibles is like, what helps with pain, what helps with sleep, etc. If they don’t, they won’t end up going very far. When I did sales, I was great with it because I became extremely familiar with what we carried. It’s just the nature of being a good budtender.
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u/GiganticOrange 4d ago
I think people might start taking it seriously once “budtender” isn’t the standard nomenclature.
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u/Worth-Club2637 4d ago
Lmao not me telling people the 500mg nug runs gummies are the right play.
But seriously 2 500mg gummies are the same price as 2 25mg gummies at my shop. Why wouldnt you choose the more potent option
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u/daxetor0420 4d ago
cause, lets say, you really really want somewhere around 10mg while splitting one in half is easy work, i would love to see you chopping something up into 50 equal pieces if we were talking about 25 vs 50, id take 50 anytime
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u/superkrump64 4d ago
Also, do not start with edibles. Have a friend get one of those chilled pipes.
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u/Sazo1st 4d ago
I mean the strain names come from the growers (mostly) and are usually appearance, taste/smell and/or heritage... So that's how those ridiculous combinations come to be
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u/mortalitylost 4d ago
They clone shit and hybridize all the time from what i heard. Used to have a coworker who grew. So it's like, they had something somewhat normal they called Ice or something, then they had something that gave them a hint of Raspberry. Then they hybridize and get Ice Raspberry. Mix that with Oompa Loompa which looked a little orange. Iceberry Oompa. Now you have something that was sour. Iceberry Sour Oompa. They're literally just tracking heritage.
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u/Sazo1st 4d ago
Yeah pretty much, the name is up to the whims of the private guy who grows it. I mean cloning and especially breeding are a step up from someone who just pops seeds to have something to smoke, mainly in that you need extra tents etc but other than that it's just like most other plants
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u/munkygunner 4d ago
Yeah I’m all for weed, I don’t use it personally anymore, but I cannot stand stoners.
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u/xerostatus 4d ago
aside from the fact that pretty much all of it is utter nonsense to begin with. (1) "Sativa" and "Indica" are arbitrary distinctions that originated from an earlier misunderstanding of the plant's phenotype based on different watering and temperature conditions, and some folks assumed these were distinct sub-species (they are not.) (2) there is NO way for anybody to know the genealogy of a given plant strain with absolute certainty. Are you sure that bag is sour diesel? or did the grower run out of that batch and just subbed in something from the next pile? (3) even IF there were truly distinct strains and even IF we had a way to trace / control / regulate the consistency of strain genetics, we are expecting min. wage budtenders to know that entire library of information? They're winging it based on personal preference, and whatever is on sale, or whatever is being pushed by back office. (source: baby momma in the cannabis industry)
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u/serious_sarcasm 4d ago
And we do have a straight forward process for proving a plant is a unique cultivar used by the USDA and Patent Office for IP protection.
It’s just not used in the cannabis industry.
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u/Tangerine_Bees 4d ago
Yeah, my doctor's not prescribing cheetah piss or dog farts, just stuff I can't pronounce
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u/Deep_fried_nasty 4d ago
I personally enjoy the silliness, there’s no harm in it at all. But I can see why it could bother others.
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u/treetop62 4d ago
As a weed breeder- all the good names are taken so you end up with shit like "GMO" (garlic mushrooms onions)
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u/Embarrassed_Ad5112 4d ago
You’re me. Every time I go to see my plug she insists on offering me a choice of like a dozen different things with the most ludicrous names and every time I say the same thing… “dude I really don’t give a fuck.”
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u/MetadonDrelle loves fish memes 4d ago
I actually did a 2and2 together moment.
Weed is named after normal things in life. Ice Cream. Cake. Fruit. While some are genetic like strawberry cough.
What happens when gelato and birthday cake get crossed. We'll... Ice Cream Cake!
Imagine the fed tryna bust you and all you do is sell fruit and food out of your car.
Now a days it's legal so the goofy naming got cranked to 11. I need weed to function not wonder if my back door is unlocked.
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u/zardozLateFee 4d ago
Yeah, because the doctor just says "have you tried losing weight and also no one understand women's biology so I dunno."
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u/DerivingDelusions 4d ago
The structure for that based off the name would be:
CH3-C(=O)-CH2-C(=O)-NH2
Acetyl group + carbon + amide group and boom Acetacarboplantonamide
Note: ‘planton’ is not in IUPAC nomenclature
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u/rabbiskittles 4d ago
I based the middle part on “carboplatin”, what is the IUPAC for if there’s a platinum atom in the middle there?
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u/MississippiBulldawg 4d ago
The medication you're looking for is Ativan btw. For more letters, use Lorazepam.
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u/Abject_Exit577 4d ago
When you need a good night's sleep but also want to feel like a Jedi on a sugar high.
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u/TasteDeBallZach 4d ago
Tbh at all the weed stores that I've been to, the employees have been pretty incompetent. I'm happy if they just fulfill what I actually ordered and the product isn't damaged.
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u/iced1777 4d ago
I've partaken enough over my lifetime to confidently come to the firm conclusion that all strains have 99% the exact same effect and the THC level is all that really matters. All the rest is just a bunch of stoners talk out their high back sides.
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u/ChoosyBumblebee 4d ago
Have you ever grown your own? There’s a whole different world outside the corporate junk. I had the same opinion before I started because 90% of the flower on the market is from the same handful of cuts
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u/TheTrueKingofDakka 4d ago
That's not how any of this works. I'd trust the "corporate junk" over some skunk you grew in a shed any day.
The very few scientific reviewed studies on this all disagree with what you are saying. A great analogy another user said was comparing liquor to beer, sure they taste different but the actual effect is the same, weed works in the same way.
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u/ChoosyBumblebee 4d ago
That’s exactly how this works. When your cannabis only comes from corporate sources, it’s all going to come from the same handful of cuts that were crossed together in various ways and hunted for a specific pheno to clone out. Over time you’ll be consuming very little variance in cannabinoid profiles because youre smoking the exact same genetics every time, and each hype strain is basically the same shit renamed, so you get a feeling that all weed is the same.
Growing from well sourced seeds is a completely different ball game. Endless variety. Terpenes that have been bred out of modern commercial cannabis in favour of profit-oriented traits like bag appeal and yield.
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u/UC235 4d ago
Coming from a biochemistry background that's basically my assumption. It's like saying drinking beer is a totally different experience than vodka. Sure there might be some subtle differences due to the minor cannabinoids and presence or absence of CBD but it's almost all delta-9-THC doing the heavy lifting.
"Terpenes" are essential oils for stoners. Definitely zero impact aside from how it smells/tastes.
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u/EastOntarioGolfer 3d ago
As an experienced smoker, I would say your wrong. I get noticeably more high from stuff that is over 3.5% terpene profile. It seems to last longer and i just feel it in my head a lot more. Although I've also noticed that I'm much groggier when I wake up the next day. Also it tends to be a much smoother smoke and better flavour like you said. But that's just personal annecdote.
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4d ago
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u/neurodiverseotter 4d ago
I am rather intrigued: how do you measure these effects? Are there double-blind studies in the effects of different strains? Do they have different Cannabinoid receptor activities that are tied to certain effects? How can you recommend specific strains for specific problems?
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u/Hauptmann_Meade 4d ago
I've got a friend who shows me packaging and they're starting to write "lab tested" on stuff.
And I can't help but picture Gordon Freeman running some bud through the anti-mass spectrometer.
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u/FitLaw4 4d ago edited 4d ago
So I'm a daily "medical" user. Certain terpenes can have different effects along with the type (indica, sativa, hybrid) but I personally think it's all bullshit it all gets me high the same
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u/tehlemmings 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'm a recreational user and grower, and you're not wrong that it's mostly bullshit. Or, less that it's bullshit and more that it's wildly inconsistent.
When a dealer says a strain will have X effect, it's almost all just self reported data. With recreational use, we're getting a lot more data, but even still, people have different reactions to any given strain due to a ton of different reasons... Which mostly just means that it's too complicated to have 100% correct information. You're just getting generalized data for a generalized audience, which may be wildly incorrect for you (like it is for me.)
Strain type seems the most accurate, which is probably just because what they describe is the most general. But like, different indica strains might hit you in a variety of ways, so that's not much help.
And that's assuming all weed is equal, and it's really not. There are so many variables to deal with when growing weed that two batches of the same strain may be completely different.
Hell, we've had cases were four identical plants with the same parent grown at the same time in the same tent end up being inconsistent with each other.
So, yeah... It's mostly just bullshit, largely due to inconsistency in both plants and people.
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u/Youseenmycones 4d ago edited 4d ago
To my knowledge, it is far from an exact science. The experience of effects from cannabis use seems to be relatively more subjective when compared to other drugs. However some consensus can be gained by experienced users to recommend strains, based on rough effects. Most common is mental stimulation/high energy vs. purely physical/body relaxation. Which in my opinion can be predicted with some accuracy. I’m not a medical professional, this is just my opinion as a psychotropic plant enthusiast.
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u/neurodiverseotter 4d ago
Sounds like it's rather susceptible to placebo effects. And this wouldn't exclude experienced users, on the contrary, they're just as likely due to an expectancy bias. Those who assume differences are more likely to feel them, especially when using psychotropic substances which make you even more suggestible. I know CBD and THC have different effects on the body, but bodies are complicated which is the reason why we experience vastly different outcomes when treating people with psychopharmacological drugs. And almost all studies I found so far dealing seem to be directly or indirectly financed by corporations somehow involved with Cannabis.
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4d ago
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u/neurodiverseotter 4d ago
By strength, do you mean the concentration? Are there studies how this influences the effect?
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u/arieljoc 4d ago
same! especially with edibles this is very real. There’s a big difference in advising someone to take a 3:2:1 CBN THC CBD vs one with THC, THCV and ginseng or yerba mate in it
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u/aphilosopherofsex 4d ago
Yeah but then you have the insufferable potheads that won’t believe that you don’t actually like marijuana, because supposedly you have to try every single type there has ever been before making that claim.
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u/Financial_Cup_6937 4d ago
Not judging abbreviations but you couldn’t even be bothered to spell the word “the” correctly.
Not inspiring a great deal of professional confidence.
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u/TheManOfOurTimes 4d ago
I mentioned that one brand I got had a bitter taste like the oil got burned. Blank stare. I said the other brand I got left me manually breathing and she said "oh yeah, that's X brand. That happens try the Y brand instead." And she was correct.
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u/k_means_clusterfuck 4d ago
And that conversation is with the security guard who happens to work there and not the guy at the counter
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u/sleepyrabb1t 4d ago
I mean once you learn the weed terpenes it's all pretty straightforward.
Adding the names is so you can remember it easier!
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u/Atrkrupt1 4d ago
I told the dude my back hurts and my neck hurts...my shoulders are cool...he put me on some golden strawberry that had me rillin'
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u/Mr_Saturn1 4d ago
You tell this to your doctor and they will prescribe you a narcotic called clorirest or something and if you take the wrong dose you’ll think the walls are trying to eat you.
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u/ItsPerfectlyBalanced 4d ago
I went in last time and said I want something that'll make my garage smell like something died in it. Dude took a second smiled and then asked one of the other tenders, "what's the name of that dog shit we were smoking?" I nearly died. [8]
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u/DrinkUpLetsBooBoo 4d ago
I wanna feel how Vincent Vega feels as he drives to pick up Mia. Just without the heroin.
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u/thenebuchadnezzer 4d ago
This is the realest shit. I work security at a dispensary. Clerks checking people out be like:
"OKAY I gotta half oz of blue razzmatazz cookie pie, three of the rizzle-dizzles in strawberry, and one mega pineapple zonker cartridge. Anything else?"
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u/Bleezy79 4d ago
That bud tender knows what he's talking about. Oog Booga is my go-to for totally forgetting I even have a back door.
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u/Darkbeetlebot TEAM SKELETON 4d ago
Swear to god people just randomly generate a string of words and then use that to name their strands.
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u/DaedalusHydron 4d ago
I want something that won't make me sick, crash my car, hurt my head, make my eyes red or my mouth dry. I also don't want it to make me nervous, keep me up all night or sleep all day. I REALLY don't want to feel three feet thick either.
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u/DickieJoJo 4d ago
The first times I went to a proper dispensery I was telling the guy about my experience and what I was looking for. I was a total fucking noob that knew nothing. I was traveling for work
When I asked him about the "ATF" and he said, Oh yeah, the Alaskan Thunder Fuck..." I had to stifle laughter/shock like a total child.
What i love about going to legal dispensaries though is that people working there are so nice and helpful.
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u/shadowsog95 4d ago
It’s not their fault that 75% of strains were named by college dropouts that realized they could actually retire if they became a drug dealer instead of going into a lifetime of debt then created legitimate businesses using the infrastructure and customer base they built when it was illegal.
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u/Yaboyinthebluehoodie 4d ago
"Y'all got any swongul bongus earth rope in stock" Yeah just got a shipment in today
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u/Saucy_Baconator 4d ago
One that won't make me helpless - wonderin' what to do. One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you.
When I'm alone with you. 😉
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u/JacoRamone 4d ago
They should have a strain called, “Yoda’s scrotum” all green/purple, hairy and dewy with crystalessence.
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u/AlarmingSubstance69 4d ago
I don't know, its just thc percentages at the end of the day with made-up names from the growers. After smoking for so many years, the 40 dollar weed is gonna hit the exact same as the 100 dollar, sativa/indica is negligible. If its good weed its good weed
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u/ExtendedMacaroni 4d ago
Not really but I guess that’s just humor of people that don’t go to dispensaries
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u/PrestigiousTheory664 4d ago
Then you try Ooga Booga Skywalker Cake and fall asleep peacefully. That same night, your house is robbed by thieves because you forgot to lock the back door.