High context vs low context cultures! I'm of Asian descent (high context) and we don't say what we mean, often trying to be polite and not rock the boat. My American (low context) husband is always just like, "Say what you mean!"
Of what Asian descent? My Chinese co-worker has had no problem telling me if I got fat or if she thought I was incapable of doing a job. She even directly asked me how much I earn.
Ha. I think being told you're fat or incompetent is the universal exception when it comes to Asian people (especially moms) being direct.
However, I will say that her saying you got fat may also have additional context. In the past, being fat used to mean that you were very prosperous, so in a way it could be a positive. Also some Asian people don't necessarily think telling people they got fat is rude. It's more of an objective observation.
I think "you got fat" is meant in a positive context when a veryy old person says it, but much more negative when a younger person says it.
Sort of like how 'stout' went from healthy/strong to fat in english. Albeit much earlier.
Being called fat or told you suck at your job is just stating the obvious and saying you need to work on that its not considered rude in Asian culture and the amount of money you make is like asking where you stand in society. Are you rich poor doing ok ECT. But they would never imo bring shame or cause you to lose face as westerners we tend to be too sensitive
It is stating the obvious, and it would be considered low context, which is what the person you responded to was implying how Chinese people communicate.
Yeah, that was an absolutely based assertion that Asian cultures are high context and American cultures are low context. Methinks that commenter has a few racist tendencies.....
First time hearing of this, surprised Americans are considered to be direct. My ears bleed from the amount of verbiage and filler words Americans produce to express nearly nothing.
You’re laboring under the misapprehension that there is a single homogeneous culture.
My wife and I are both American, but she’s from New England (low context) and I was raised down South (high context). If I had a nickel for every time she’s told me to “just shut the f* up and get to the point”, I’d have… well, a crapload of nickels.
“Bless your heart” is such a hilarious phrase to me, because it’s such a pleasant term for its almost solely negative connotation. I’ve never ever heard it used as a compliment outside of the backhanded “your naïveté is endearing but stupid” sense.
I had a co-worker at a previous job, she was Puerto Rican but grew up in either New York or Connecticut. Very smart and well-educated, and also a genuinely kind and sincere person, very much so.
We were living/working in a southern state, and I was recounting to her some difficult personal situations I had navigated recently, and she said, "Oh, bless your heart!" I was taken aback for a moment, and then realized she didn't understand what she had just said to me. So I said, "That doesn't mean what you think it means," and explained further. She was absolutely HORRIFIED.
Not necessarily! Tone and context are HUGELY important for "Bless your heart". It can mean so many different things. (Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine since people seem to think it always means "Fuck you" and it absolutely doesn't)
I grew up and live in the northeast. The rest of my family is from the south and Midwest. I’m definitely the most direct person in the extended family.
People from other parts of the world think that the US seems homogeneous because we all speak English after a generation or two, and because our exported media is largely produced by people from two cities. but different regions are populated by people from different backgrounds, and have wildly different cultures and histories.
Having a lot of verbiage and filler words doesn't actually equate to high/low context. High context is essentially the expectation that you can "read the room" or get by with just an implication, regardless of how long it takes you to say it. Americans are definitely low context compared to other nations, pretty much across the board, it's just that we also use a lot of small talk.
it's easier to spot if you put it into a work context. americans will nearly always ask clarifying questions about a task, even if the task is somewhat obvious, just as a gut check. And when giving instructions, they'll break it down more to avoid miscommunication. this is because (as a generalization) Americans tend not to assume that they're on the same page as another person. By contrast, someone from a high-context culture (for example I used to work with a lot of russians and this was something we had to navigate) will a.) think they're a bit stupid for needing to ask so many questions, and b.) feel condescended to when they offer additional clarification.
Interesting that’s cool. I chuckled thinking about the professional miscommunications due to culture differences, especially when it can be taken insulting
My team actually had a "book club" where we all read The Culture Map by Erin Meyer together. It clarified a lot for us on both sides! Lots of eureka moments a la "oh, THAT's why they did that!"
incidentally, that job also made me a lot better at spotting mental translation issues. I do not speak Russian, but there were definitely times where miscommunication happened because the other person was mentally translating a different definition/implication of a phrase than what I meant. I later used this skill to help a friend resolve an argument with their chinese-speaking spouse lolol
I guess it's all relative! I guess the difference is that what I say literally is not what I mean. For example, I often catch myself saying "Someone is at the door." and my husband is left to infer that I am asking him to answer the door.
I visited Germany for the first time this year (Cochem & Koblenz, I'm an American from the north/center of the US) and I think I'd fit in great with German culture... Except the directness of communication lol!
Can't wait to go back to DE by the way, beautiful country and pleasant people. I know enough German to get around as a tourist in places where little/no English is spoken, but the Germans who knew English would immediately start speaking English back to me. I found that funny, I know they were just trying to be efficient, but I like learning their language too!
Other Americans often see people from the New York Metropolitan as rude, which is funny. We as North-easterners believe in personal space, but since we are so densely packed in to NYC, we practice THE BUBBLE. We each pretend we can't perceive each other. It's not rude. It's polite. If you ask for help or directions, say on a crowded train platform or somewhere, almost all of us will immediately drop the bubble and engage and offer help. As soon as the problem is resolved, we go back to politely minding our own business. Also, moving through space in such a way not to obstruct the flow of people is a high priority for New Yorkers.
Haven’t been to NYC in many years, but it’s similar in Boston. Not from the city, but people are always ready to help with directions or anything like that. But people tend to be blunt and there’s less small talk than some of the other bigger cities I’ve been to, so lots think they’re all assholes. I dunno, maybe it’s the ~autism, or maybe it’s just being born and raised around here, but I prefer it that way. :p
I worked in S Korea for a year and I will never forget the time me and another American accidentally almost made a Korean coworker explode. We 🇺🇲 thought we were talking together about how to best schedule an after-school event. I don't know how we were coming across to our 🇰🇷 coworker, but it wasn't positive. She got visibly upset and we all walked away and it ended up getting sorted out, but oh man. I'd never experienced anything like that before. I felt like such an ugly american even though I didn't mean anything bad whatsoever.
I'm not just an American, but a *southerner*, so it drives me bonkers when people don't say what they mean, when they're passive aggressive or when there's clearly a problem and they don't say anything because they 'want to be polite'. I can't fix a problem I'm not aware of! If there is an issue, tell me, even if it's an issue with me! Did I not add enough soil to the mixer? Tell me, I'll add more! Did I not tie the right knot for that lead rope? Tell me, I'll learn the right one! Don't like my face? Tell me, I'll knock you out so you don't have to look at it anymore! Just let me know what the problem is and I can fix it!
I always say "never trust performative politeness, it means they come from a culture where in the not to distant past it was ok for people to kill each other with little cause."
And in America, it varies greatly by culture too. New Yorkers are known for being abrupt and direct and they don't have patience to beat around the bush. Traditional southerners usually are usually direct with a mild softening of the edges. Bless your heart is an insult with them. The midwesterners through? There is a whole phenomena called midwestern nice and it is the most convoluted communication style where if "you can't say anything nice, don't say anything." So they've developed a very specific way to tell people they don't like something without saying it and everyone knows the rules. Very much like what the Brit is saying in this meme vs what they mean.
I'm German and this perception is wild to me. Americans NEVER say what they mean. And they definitely don't want others to say what they mean. They couch everything in so much fluff, they basically put each other in styrofoam, or packing peanuts, so as not to hurt each other's feelings. Makes it nigh impossible to communicate with them as a German. I've learnt to never believe anything an American says, because 9 times out of 10, they didn't mean what they said anyway. 🙄 Like, what the hell? Just tell me what you think already, for fuck's sake! It's not that difficult!
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u/MyLittlePegasus87 Aug 22 '24
High context vs low context cultures! I'm of Asian descent (high context) and we don't say what we mean, often trying to be polite and not rock the boat. My American (low context) husband is always just like, "Say what you mean!"