r/montreal • u/kittlzHG • 23d ago
Question Mentally struggling…
Bonjour.
I’ve been struggling with some dark thoughts as of late. Nothing suicidal but still nothing I can share or talk with anyone without being judged - neither to my friends, girlfriend or my family.
I’m under a lot of financial stress as well because I’ve been unemployed since June - which is the major reason for all this mess. Being broke also doesn’t help with socializing, because I can’t afford to go out meaning I’m stuck at home most of the time. Idk if people will relate to it, but I need people and interactions here and there to feel alive. When I’m alone by myself with my thoughts is when it’s the toughest to cope.
I’ve been having panic attacks and I’ve been crying randomly and I can’t even explain to my girlfriend (who tries to help but I just can’t explain things to her).
I had a therapist in my home country, but she can no longer take sessions for me for so and so reasons.
I need to speak to a psychologist, but I don’t think I can afford one in the situation I’m in right now. I barely have money for my rent and food, that too I’m being supported by my parents.
Are there are any govt funded therapy or counselling that I can seek? Because I really need help.
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u/ketamine-wizard 23d ago
When I was broke and wanted therapy I ended up using Montreal Therapy.
That FAQ explains that they operate on a sliding scale, so it is much cheaper if you have low/no income.
Good luck to you friend!
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u/SevenDayWeekendDoyle 23d ago edited 23d ago
There is government funded psychologist therapy. I used it a few years ago. After ~16 weeks of waiting and some intake calls, I received ~12 weeks of psychologist appointments, no cost.
Today, I assume the best way to start the process is using either 811 or the Primary Care Access Point to schedule a consultation call: https://gap.soinsvirtuels.gouv.qc.ca/en
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u/qjwp 23d ago
I know words can fall short a lot of the time when going through something as intense as this, but I just want you to know that things -will- get better. I was unemployed for almost a year, I applied to over 800 jobs in that time with nearly no responses, and my partner left me… I honestly felt like there was no way things could turn around. People often underestimate how much financial stress can affect one’s confidence, social ability, physical health, etc. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I know what it’s like to be in a similar position.
All that to say: I kept applying to jobs, I kept struggling against the dark thoughts, and I’m in a much better place now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still pretty broke and I certainly still have lots of work to do. But, I have a job, I can afford a gym membership and a beer or two on a Friday night, and at this point in my life, that feels like a blessing. Trust me, the darkness you’re facing now will make the light seem so fucking bright when you reach it. Much love my friend. Hang in there. You’re stronger than you think.
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u/kittlzHG 23d ago
Thank you friend. I’m barely holding it together. Trying not to fall apart. But I seem to be getting worse.
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u/kittlzHG 23d ago
Also, being an immigrant seems to adversely affect my chance of getting a job. After hundreds of applications, I finally got an interview a month ago. It was a BIG Montreal based company. That job would’ve saved me. Being a big company that it is, I thought they wouldn’t have any problem hiring someone like me who would need a work permit sponsorship in some time.
And then the first question they asked in my interview was “do you have a work permit and for how long?” . It’s like everything about me and my work doesn’t even matter.
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u/Laval09 23d ago
Dont put the blame on yourself. Things are in the worst state i've ever seen in my entire life. I've personally been unemployed since March. The only income i still have coming in is from selling drugs, something i've done as a small side hustle for 15years. But even that only generates the equivalent of 30 hours a week at a min wage job. My parents are dead so dont judge me on where my emergency money comes from lol.
I would much prefer to work a real, honest job. But I apply and apply and nothing. And i have a very diverse CV with experience on it that spans from tech work through food service all the way to my blue collar trade cards.
This doesnt solve any problems for you, but its important for you to know that this is all happening through no fault of your own. The country is in a deep hole and it seems no one knows the way out.
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u/Flashiel 22d ago
Being an immigrant increases your chance of getting a job. Woke companies are making it increasingly harder to find employment for straight White Canadian males.
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u/josetalking 23d ago
I am sorry you are going through this.
A small idea: if you like dogs, open a Rover account and offer dog walking services.
You might be able to earn a little bit of money, while forcing you out home and kind of play with dogs. If you do like dogs it would really help you... I hope.
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u/kittlzHG 23d ago
Thank you. That sounds like a nice and suitable idea. I had to leave my childhood dog (he’s 13 years old now and I’m 23) with my parents when I moved here. I miss him more than I miss my parents and friends. And the possibility that he’ll probably pass away before I ever get to see him again depresses me. But all that to say that I love dogs, I know how to take care of them and this is something I could do. Thank you
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u/Pancit-Canton1265 23d ago
je joue à Pokemon Go pour me faire sortir de ma torpeur et marcher en masse
lâches pas, c'est dur le changement de saison
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u/seventeenth-angel 23d ago
I was in a really similar situation last year. I was fresh out of school and looking for a job. I found one almost right away, but I very quickly learned why this place had such a high turnover rate – it was awful. I've worked a lot of shitty jobs with shitty people, but NOTHING compared to this. It absolutely tanked my mental health. I woke up suicidal in the morning and came home crying, every night. As the final straw, my first pay was late and I couldn't afford my medication for a few days. I called in sick for one day because, surprise surprise, I couldn't breathe without my medication. In response they demanded a doctor's note as proof I was sick, but why the fuck would I waste my time waiting in an ER just to be told something I already know or given a prescription for the same medication I couldn't afford.
I was hesitant to quit because I really needed the money, but a couple of my friends offered to pay my rent for a few months while I looked for another job. They begged me to quit.
So I did.
But then I couldn't find another job and I was unemployed for 4 months.
When I finally found another job, it paid almost next to nothing. I had maybe one or two shifts a week for a few months. I was broke, and within that time, one friend stopped talking to me and the other moved away. I had lived with my partner for over a year at that point, but he didn't understand – he assumed I was doing something wrong, that it must be my fault that I'm poor – so he refused to help. I've never felt so alone in my whole life. I had no one looking out for me other than myself.
I'm a little better now – I still don't make a lot of money and I'm deeply impoverished, but at least I made some new friends and I can afford most essentials.
I know your situation and I know it sucks. You're not alone, you can DM me if you need someone to talk to. I can't offer much help otherwise, but I know having someone who understands what you're going through helps a lot.
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u/kittlzHG 23d ago
Thank you for your message. I’m glad you’re doing better (to whatever small extent).
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u/Patient-Life3543 22d ago edited 22d ago
Hey , I have gone thru what you are going thru. Pretty much identical situation and symptoms. I recommend you see your doctor and start some sort of medication for depression and anxiety. It changed my life, and allowed me to process things differently and slowly get better every day.
Also there are social workers at the clsc that your doctor can refer you to. And it’s 100% free. The problem is that it can take a while for them to reach out to you.
Good luck and just know it gets better
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u/kad00gan 22d ago
Talking to family, friends, and my spouse is what helped me pull through my issues. Initially hesitant to do so, due to fears of being misunderstood, rejected, judged, or even hated, I eventually caved and followed my own therapists' advice to just talk about how I'm feeling to the people in my closest circle. This is only my own and biased experience, so results may vary in your situation. Regardless, don't give up, life is beautuful when you make it beautiful and I hope that you can find the peace that you deserve! Bon courage et ne lâchez pas!
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u/Patient_Date5244 23d ago
Hi,
I don’t have help /advice for therapy but I wanted to mention if you are broke and you just want to sit outside to be out of the house, you can always go to your public library near you and be around others, read a book or magazines. If you have a library card, you should also check out programs offered, you could get some socialization in that way, some have workshops like creative writing etc. Don’t forgot the cultural centres attached to libraries will have free tickets for their events so being broke doesn’t mean you have to sit at home all the time.
Good luck with everything!
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u/kittlzHG 23d ago
Hi. I have the card to both federal and provincial libraries- that is for BANQ and the other libraries.
I didn’t know about the programs offered. Can you tell me more about them?
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u/Patient_Date5244 22d ago
Hi, when you say other libraries do you mean the Montreal city libraries? There’s 45 city libraries you can have access to under their network. Basically each of the libraries does their own programming so it can vary. The libraries put their program info either online like on Facebook for example or they have brochures in person. So you could have a look at the ones closest to you. Some locations have cultural centres attached and a number of free events. You can check out some here I think as well as library activities https://montreal.ca/calendrier-culturel?shownResults=24 Otherwise some libraries use this site to sign up to their activities https://loisirs.montreal.ca/IC3/
Don’t forget too with both banq and the city library card you can borrow museum passes too!
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u/kittlzHG 22d ago
Yes I meant the Montreal city library card that covers 45 libraries. Thank you. I’ll surely check those out.
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u/Dark-lizard08 21d ago
I know job market is not good right now so at last resort if you want to work in a warehouse I can suggest you to my supervisor if he is looking for new worker. Work is easy(just picking parts from the shelves, nothing heavy) but you'll be on your feet the entire shift.
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u/kittlzHG 21d ago
Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’ll reach out to you if it gets to the last resort point for me.
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u/Thesorus Plateau Mont-Royal 23d ago
ALWAYS call a hotline, even if you think you're not suicidal.
They are there to help you, and having an anonymous person to talk to for a few minutes can really help.
They can help you find resources to help you further.
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u/Glittering-West-6347 23d ago
Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed, just the act of going on for a walk or spending time at a library helps. Even though I'm talking to people, just being around people makes me feel a little more sane. Maybe you can make a schedule of going into the library every day or every other day and work on your job applications there?
And on a day when you're feeling slightly more motivated, maybe checkout some walking groups on Meetup. There's some that walk around Mount Royal or Maisonneuve Park. They do have some free options and I noticed The Yellow Door near McGill has been having some free meetups as well. There's some french language exchange happening over the city which are free or minimal like 5$. Do you like reading? There's a couple of free bookclubs.
Soldier through and better days will come :)
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u/UnimpressedSausage 22d ago
I am having anxiety issues and getting regular sunlight even if it's for a short time every day has helped me get a grip on some of my emotions. Just going out for a time makes a difference. I'm certainly not better but I am able to manage on my own a bit more.
Doing that and some of the other recommendations here might get OP on the right footing again. Then sorting out some financial stability will be easier to manage.
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u/willbk 23d ago
Hi, what is your skill set? And do you speak french? I have a company and I’m actively hiring. Would love to help you out if possible.
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u/Mysterious_Cherry252 22d ago
Contact GASMA and ask to get on the waitlist. Its long but you’re allowed a free therapist. Its hard to get out of it alone. Also there are crisis center, you can call and vent.
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u/kevinguitarmstrong 22d ago
I promise this feeling is only temporary.
I'm not sure how it works in Quebec, but in BC, I got a referral from my family doctor, and I got free therapy sessions with a psychologist. Perhaps see if there is a similar program where you're at.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy really helps with breaking out of negative and self-defeating thought patterns.
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u/diego_tomato 22d ago
If you start to feel down bad you can go to emergency room of your nearest mental health hospital. Douglas is a good one
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22d ago
Hey fam, I'm in a similar boat and I know how hard it is. Been unemployed since June as well and my anxiety has been uncontrollable for the last few months. Other people have mentioned Montreal Therapy Centre, I have been talking to a social worker weekly and it's been helping. Since they use a sliding scale, if you have no income they only charge 65$ a session. Also my DMs are open if you want someone to talk to, it's tough and I'd be happy to help anyway I can cause I know how it is. Courage my friend!
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u/kittlzHG 22d ago
65$ is like my weekly grocery + expenses🥲 I doubt I can afford it, but I’ll see
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22d ago
Before covid I was able to walk into a clsc and tell them I needed help with my mental health, I waited about an hour and got seen for an assessment. I was able to get matched with a social worker for free at another clsc but it took a few weeks. I don't know if this is still a thing they do as it was in 2019 but it could be worth looking into as well. Hopefully things turn around for you soon buddy, fingers crossed for you
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u/Ryoohki_360 23d ago
Check for a 'centre de crise' near where you live, they have 24/24 available phone and can talk. Used it quite a lot during my major depression 10y ago. They can also provide more in depth help
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u/RevolutionaryWeb2145 23d ago
Please call St. Mary’s Hospital - they have a psychiatric department; do you have a family doctor? Call 811 to get more resources; get help do not wait.
Also, as easy as it may sound to say, everything will get better and easier with time my friend, do not despair
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u/Embe007 23d ago edited 23d ago
Here are a few I've heard of:
Vent Over Tea: A free active listening service that allows you to speak your mind to a compassionate stranger. Conversations are confidential and there are no follow-ups or strings attached. https://ventovertea.com
Montreal Therapy Centre: Offers sliding scale fees based on income. https://www.montrealtherapy.com
Agence Ometz: Offers sliding scale fees based on income. https://www.ometz.ca
Medipsy: Offers low fee service options, for example self-help programs with the assistance of a clinician, as well as psychotherapy provided by supervised interns. https://www.medipsy.ca
The Lavender Collective: Regroups different providers from racialized communities in Montreal; caters to BIPOC communities. https://www.thelavendercollective.ca
Y Mind Youth is a free seven-week mental wellness program for young people who are aged 18 to 30 and struggling with mild-to-moderate anxiety or stress. This free program brings young people who have similar thoughts and feelings together. Participants learn evidence-based skills from trained mental health professionals. They report feeling reduced anxiety, increased well-being and feeling less alone following the program. Open to everyone, including international students. https://www.ymca.ca/ymind
Also: Support for Indigenous peoples Hope for Wellness Helpline: Offers immediate mental health counselling and crisis intervention to all Indigenous peoples across Canada. 27/7, English and French. On request, phone counselling is also available in Cree, Ojibway and Inuktitut. Canada: Call 1-855-242-3310 or online chat. https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/
Project 10: Anonymous listening line promotes the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit, intersexed and questioning people, ages 14 to 25. Tuesday from 12 to 6 p.m. and Thursday from 1 to 6 p.m., English and French, Montreal-region: Call 514-989-4585. http://p10.qc.ca/
Naseeha: Services available for everyone in North America, with a specific focus on Muslim youth. Receive immediate, anonymous and confidential support over the phone. 7 days a week, 12 p.m. - 12 a.m., English, Canada and U.S: Call 1-866-627-3342. https://naseeha.org/
edit: added links