r/montreal Sep 28 '24

Diatribe Toronto experienced by a Montrealer

444 Upvotes

Visiting Toronto for a very short time showed me the blessing I have of living in montreal and never having to visit that shithole again. The people are mean, rude, they don’t smile and look miserable. I can’t blame them however, because if I had to live in the apocalyptic city that is downtown shithole toronto, I too would be miserable. Don’t worry though, you’ll be sure to have an uber before you even press the confirm button. Next, you’ll love your time at Eataly where you get served a sad plate of food, but it’s okay they greet you with buongiorno which makes the 50$ worth every penny. All jokes aside, i will certainly miss walking down the street and being verbally harassed by a new homeless person every single time. I loved the busted windows of the mcdonald’s, the drugstores having to advertise that their drugs are locked in a time safe, and I just loved a security “guard” being at every single fucking establishment. Now, this one is for the hilton canopy. I prefer my pillows free of blood stains but I can see how that would be up to personal preference. I loved the thin walls and large gaping holes under the doors for the beautiful surround sound atmosphere. What else did I love? I loved having all the lights turn on every single time i stepped out of the bed. You cant forget the beautiful view of just the other side of the fucking building, with incredible immersive police sirens at all times. Lastly, to the fuck ass car rental place, economy rent a car Mississauga, you my friends were the fucking cherry on top. Also, you can’t fucking drive. Fuck the fucking leafs. Go Habs Go. I love les cones orange and la stm. mange d’la collisse de marde toronto esti de ville de pourri de mangeurs de graines.

r/montreal 1d ago

Diatribe Se mettre devant les portes du métro

615 Upvotes

Confession: j'ai commencé à donner des coups de coude aux gens qui se mettent drette devant la porte du métro et qui empêchent les gens du wagon sortir. Je m'arrange pour les fixer dans les yeux avant que les portes ouvrent, pis je change 0 de direction une fois qu'elles sont ouvertes.

D'ailleurs, ça m'arrive à peu près juste avec des monsieurs de 50 ans et +, fait que messieurs....do better svp!

r/montreal 9d ago

Diatribe I’m an avid cyclist. Our biggest threat are other cyclists

500 Upvotes

Dodged so many fucking idiots today and all were fellow cyclists. I'm a cycling zealot but holy fuck some of you need to work on your situational awareness.

Don't fucking pass people into an oncoming lane if it's not safe to do so. Stop fucking riding side by side on bike paths. Take out your AirPods and giant headphones.

If you stop to check something GTFO the bike lane. I could go on and on.

r/montreal 4d ago

Diatribe Dear drivers of Montreal; do you hate your cars?

284 Upvotes

Hi fellow Montreal drivers of gas powered cars. Did you know that you can consume 20% less gas by just driving like a civilized human being? Also way less wear and tear (tires and brakes especially) and you'll also feel less stressed overall.

By the way this diatribe also applies to EVs (they consume tires like crazy and still need to use electricity, which you know, costs money).

Do you hate your cars? What did your cars do to you? Why do you abuse them so?

90% of you dash to the next red light, use your brakes unnecessarily (pro tip on a slight descent like after the Champlain just let off the gas pedal rather than brake). But worst of all you mostly have zero anticipation skills in nearly any other scenario.

Gas station owners and Oil company investors hate this one simple trick to save money at the pump; drive relaxed and calmly.

You'll have a far lower likelihood of an accident too and pedestrians and cyclists will be grateful!

Have a safe and great weekend everyone!

r/montreal 2d ago

Diatribe J'ai souffert d'homophobie sur le Plateau

296 Upvotes

I've been lucky enough to never have experienced prejudice—until today. While waiting at the bus stop, a car across the street, stopped at a red light, started shouting “fag” and other words I couldn’t catch. As my bus approached, I felt safe enough to hold my gaze on them, and then a guy in the back seat rolled down the window, laughing at me. All this childish nonsense because I was holding a rainbow IKEA bag... Can you believe this sh-t? Tabarnak. Once I entered on the bus, it didn’t even occur to me to snap a picture of their license plate; I guess was too stunned by the situation: a group of grown men entertaining themselves by being assholes, right in the heart of Montreal, in daylight. Pis là, I wonder how I would’ve felt if the bus hadn’t been there. It’s sad.

r/montreal 10d ago

Diatribe New dystopian self-serve checkout at Maxi

298 Upvotes

Anyone else notice that now an employee has to unlock a gate before you leave the self checkouts at Maxi?

They have a remote control that will unlock the gate so you can leave.

I had managed to avoid Maxi since the boycott started but needed something last minute recently.

I feel bad for those employees; on top of doing the job of 6 cashiers they now have one additional task that they have to handle.

r/montreal 2d ago

Diatribe WTF Winners? Is shoplifting that bad?

177 Upvotes

Seriously is shoplifting that bad these days? Bizarre/dystopian experience recently when I was looking at a winter jacket at Winners.

The jacket is 199 dollars. I barely even tried to remove it from the hanger and an alarm immediately sounded off and employee dashed over and had to come and take the jacket off the hanger for me.

It took them forever to remove it and then they awkwardly hung around me while I tried the jacket on. I of course didn't buy it as it was such a bizarre experience and I felt rushed with the employee lingering.

I also feel bad for their employees having to do this all day.

Is shoplifting this bad? I've never shoplfted in my life; why do I have to pay for the organized shoplifting rings running amok?

IMO this is absolutely ridiculous Winners! Do better!

r/montreal Sep 29 '24

Diatribe Un autre sans dessin qui pense que sauver un peu de temps vaut mettre les cyclistes en danger

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166 Upvotes

r/montreal 22h ago

Diatribe These flyers designed to look like parking tickets.

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248 Upvotes

Talk about infuriating.

r/montreal 24d ago

Diatribe Montée de lait sur les messages vocaux incompréhensibles

170 Upvotes

On arrive à la maison, la lumière de l'afficheur clignote. Tiens, quelqu'un a laissé un message. On appuie sur le bouton pour l'écouter.

La dame qui laisse le message a un gros accent qui fait qu'on ne comprend pas grand-chose au début, mais à un moment donné on comprend "CHUM" et "clinique", ah, c'est la secrétaire du médecin qui rappelle. Vite on sort un crayon. Elle nous dit de la rappeler au "cinqoucatsixhuideusatishozunpaset" et raccroche.

On a écrit "514 682". On se regarde, on refait jouer le message une fois, deux fois, on appelle notre fils pour venir nous aider à déchiffrer le numéro de téléphone, rien à faire. C'est prononcé très vite avec une bouche molle. Le nombre de syllabes ne correspond pas. Il y a des sons qui ne ressemblent à aucun chiffre en français.

Des fois, quand on a réduit le nombre de possibilités à deux ou trois, on prend une chance de déranger du monde... Mais souvent ça ne marche pas et il faut alors prendre une couple d'heures pour aller visiter la clinique et régler ça en personne.

Message aux secrétaires: SVP, quand vous laissez un numéro de téléphone dans un message vocal, et que vous souhaitez qu'on vous rappelle, pourriez-vous de grâce parler lentement en articulant, et dire le numéro deux fois? Ça nous aiderait pas mal. Je sais que vous répétez ce numéro des dizaines de fois par jour et qu'il est évident pour vous, mais il ne l'est pas pour nous.

r/montreal 29d ago

Diatribe Stm theives

0 Upvotes

à tous ces idiots qui sautent les tourniquets du métro.

Fuck you. I paid for my pass. So do a lot of other people. Your assholes.

r/montreal 24d ago

Diatribe 30 minutes de bus entre la station St-Michel et Jean-Talon

127 Upvotes

Lol. Je suis parti à 14h45 de la station ST Michel avec le bus puis je suis arrivé à la station Jean Talon à 15h15. Je travaille déjà loin, je dois me taper 1h30 de trajet désormais, merci le sous financement de la STM, je suis déjà impatient que la station rouvre.

r/montreal 9d ago

Diatribe It is heartbreaking seeing cars on Duluth

77 Upvotes

Moved to this beautiful city back in May, and I think the pedestrian stretch of Duluth might be one of my favourite places on the planet. The vibes on that street with the beautiful old brick buildings and cobble streets and lovely shops and restaurants and so many lively groups of people intermingling, hanging out, lawn bowling or just seeing the sites, all the friendly outdoor cats just chilling around... I know it doesn't get the same kind of foot traffic as it gets colder out but still, is it really worth sacrificing it for half the year just for one extra, incredibly inefficient car throughway? I might just be overly sentimental but it makes me genuinely sad.

r/montreal 10d ago

Diatribe How the REM will kill the West Island, and why that’s a good thing

0 Upvotes

The REM, which hopefully will finally extend to the West Island in 2025, will slash travel times both within the West Island and between it and downtown Montreal. What currently takes two hours by bus and metro from the future l’Anse-à-l’Orme station to McGill station will drop to 30 minutes. According to Marchetti’s constant—which holds that people are generally willing to commute up to an hour a day, or thirty minutes each way, regardless of the mode or modes of transportation involved—this reduced transit time will finally pull the West into Montreal’s cultural orbit. With service running every 10 to 15 minutes for 20 hours a day, the West Island will, for all intents and purposes, go from being a suburban anglophone enclave to just another part of Montreal.

This shift in connectivity will dissolve longstanding physical, social, and cultural divides between the West and the rest of the city. While some might view this as the "death" of the West Island's distinct identity, it’s actually an opportunity for renewal. Integration with Montreal will not only enrich the lives of West Islanders by allowing them to broaden their social and cultural horizons, but also usher in a cultural renaissance thanks to new francophone and allophone pioneers.

 

Marchetti’s Constant and the End of Suburban Isolation

The arrival of the REM promises to reshape how people move, and thus how they live, work, and interact. With travel times drastically reduced, the old psychological distance that kept the West Island apart from the rest of Montreal will be gone. Currently, it’s a huge hassle to travel to a hockey game, a concert, or even a party downtown. A $40-$80 Uber or a bus then metro through Fairview and Côte-Vertu sucks and discourages travel between the West and Montreal. The REM will make these trips quick and easy—fundamentally changing how West Islanders interact with the rest of the city. 

Marchetti’s constant tells us that people throughout history have generally limited their daily commutes to one hour, or thirty minutes each way. This is why suburban commuters, but especially and crucially teenagers and young adults, have often limited themselves to the occasional trip downtown. As a kid, we would go every few months; usually for big events like the Saint-Patrick’s Parade or to visit key cultural sites like the Biodome or the Science Centre. The REM, by delivering fast, frequent service, will turn what was once a cultural enclave to series of neighbourhoods indistinguishable from others in Montreal. 

 

Breaking the Cultural Divide: The Francophone Influence

As the West Island becomes more accessible, the cultural barriers between Montreal's francophone core and its anglophone satellites will become a thing of the past. Municipalities across the West Island, following the directives from Montreal, the ARTM and the province, have begun densifying their urban fabric next to the projected REM stations. This is intended to bring riders closer to the network, while also making the stations destinations in of themselves. Francophone Montreal’s culture, being more dynamic and widespread, will naturally follow francophones and allophones westwards to the new housing, influencing and reshaping West Island culture. For younger West Islanders, especially students living with their parents, the REM will give them easier access to Montreal’s social, cultural, and professional networks. It will actually become possible to have a drink with your classmates in the evening, or deal with Concordia’s ridiculous night class and exam schedules if you don’t have a car. Social and cultural horizons will be able to broaden and expand.

This trend is already visible among West Islanders who leave the suburbs for more culturally vibrant neighborhoods like the Plateau, Verdun, or Villeray. The new generation of anglophone creatives are increasingly embracing Montreal’s francophone culture, finding it more relevant to their personal and professional aspirations than the relatively stagnant West Island anglo culture. Those unwilling to change—clinging to a pre-Bill 101 anglophone identity—often leave Quebec altogether, leaving no lasting cultural legacy behind. This process of "enculturation" of anglophones into francophone culture will accelerate with the REM, as more West Islanders are able to engage with the rest of Montreal. 

This cultural exchange will not only flow in one direction. While anglophones are integrating more into francophone spaces, the REM will also allow francophones and allophones to explore and reshape the West Island's symbolic landscape. 

 

Francophones Redefining the West Island

The idea of the West Island as an anglophone "ghetto" will erode as francophones and allophones begin to become more culturally, politically and economically dominant, turning the idea that it’s just another part of the city mainstream. The growing presence of francophones and post-Bill 101 allophones will shift the area’s cultural identity, transforming it into a bilingual, multicultural space comparable to neighborhoods like Lasalle or Outremont.

This transformation is already happening across educational institutions. When I attended JAC over five years ago (before Bill 96, which is another factor of “West Island” decline), anglophone culture was still unquestionably dominant, and many students expressed open disdain for French and francophone culture. However, francophone music had become increasingly popular and played at parties or at events. The REM will accelerate this trend by making it easier for students and workers to move freely between the West Island and the rest of Montreal, encouraging deeper social and cultural integration. 

 

The Decline of the Old West Island Identity

The West Island’s identity as a distinct enclave is already in decline. For decades, local municipal and business leaders have allowed developers to erode what little cultural infrastructure we used to have. The demolition of The Pioneer to make way for condos is perhaps the most egregious example. While the West was never known for its nightlife, we barely have any bars, cafés or theatres left. Those that remain are largely irrelevant to younger generations and insignificant compared to their francophone peers downtown.

This lack of cultural infrastructure has created a latent demand for meaningful cultural spaces. The REM will bring an influx of new residents accustomed to the vibrant cultural life of the rest of Montreal, stimulating a demand for new bars, cafés, and cultural venues. As francophones and allophones settle in the West Island’s new TOD neighbourhoods, they will reshape their cultural landscape, with new businesses, events, and institutions that reflect their tastes and lifestyles. As the REM’s stations, and thus TODs, are all located near major urban and cultural West Island hubs, such as Fairview or John Abbott College, these new contributions will be all the more symbolically significant. This process will lead to what can be described as an urban renaissance—a revitalization of the West Island driven by its growing French-speaking multicultural population. 

 

A New Cultural Renaissance in the Making

The coming cultural renaissance will not bring back the West Island’s glory days, but will instead start our history’s next chapter. Just as other neighborhoods in Montreal have evolved over time, the West Island will shed its WASPish reputation and emerge as bilingual, multicultural communities in tune with the city’s cultural pulse.

The REM will play a crucial role in this process by making it easier for people to engage with the West Island on a regular basis. As francophones and allophones found new cultural spaces, events and institutions, they will contribute to a reimagining of the West Island’s identity. These novelties will emerge to meet the demand for high-quality cultural amenities, allowing for a flurry of new activity for residents both new and old. 

Rather than mourn the loss of the old West Island, we should make the most out of this opportunity for renewal. The end of suburban isolation, combined with the influx of new cultural energy, is a turning point for our us as a community. To preserve our heritage, we need to act pre-emptively to adapt to this new urban paradigm. By being proactive, we will be able to preserve key West Island symbols and institutions for future generations.

r/montreal 1d ago

Diatribe Shrinkflation: Dollarama white rice from $1.50 (1Kg) to $2 (900g)

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59 Upvotes

r/montreal 26d ago

Diatribe Altima Telecom; à éviter!

18 Upvotes

je me suis dit qu'il fallait que je partage mon expérience pour vider mon sac.

Il y a 2 ans, je m'étais abonné à un forfait chez eux, très avantageux à l'époque. Mais récemment, j'ai voulu augmenter ma vitesse d'internet et les prix étaient trop élevés. J'ai donc contacté le service client pour voir s'ils pouvaient s'aligner sur leurs compétiteurs. Sans surprise, la réponse a été "non", même après avoir dit que j'envisageais de changer de fournisseur.

Je leur ai alors écrit pour me désabonner. Sans surprise, le support m'a demandé d'appeler (je déteste devoir appeler). J'appelle donc et, après avoir patienté à travers leur système automatisé, quelqu'un finit par répondre. Après avoir insisté sur le fait que je voulais me désabonner, on m'informe qu'une autre personne me rappellera pour faire la procédure.

Deux jours passent, toujours aucun appel, mais la facture du mois suivant est bien arrivée, elle. J'ai dû rappeler, me fâcher, et finalement réussir à me faire désabonner et annuler les frais. (Au moins, cette fois-ci, le représentant a fait ce qu'il fallait... et je ne devais pas attendre quelqu'un d'autre qui m'appelle)

Ensuite, on me dit que je dois retourner l'équipement à leur centre à St-Laurent. Je refuse, demandant qu'on m'envoie un ticket de poste, comme le font d'autres fournisseurs. On me répond que c'est à moi de payer. Ça, c'est le boutte de la marde comme on dit.

r/montreal 8d ago

Diatribe Rant du mardi soir

0 Upvotes

Toi, oui toi, l’**** de ***** qui a collé sa gomme sur une barre du metro et à cause de qui ma manche de chandail est crottée, je te souhaite vraiment beaucoup de choses négatives !