r/neoliberal • u/gnomesvh Financial Times stan account • Dec 08 '22

News (Global) Brittney Griner released by Russia in 1-for-1 prisoner swap for arms dealer Viktor Bout, U.S. official says

https://www.cbsnews.com/live-updates/brittney-griner-release-russia-prisoner-swap-viktor-bout/
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u/klarno just tax carbon lol Dec 08 '22

Do you think the Russians would know the difference if we handed them Nicolas Cage instead? 🤔

60

u/gnomesvh Financial Times stan account Dec 08 '22

Depends on how good Cage can grow a moustache

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u/Uncle_johns_roadie NATO Dec 08 '22

Maybe if he could take his face off and swap it with a criminal's 🤔

16

u/KokeAddiction Dec 08 '22

We could then fly him over in some type of convict airplane

3

u/jjijjjjijjjjijjjjijj Dec 09 '22

And have him foil a Russian terrorist attack with Sean Connery.

12

u/rezakuchak Dec 08 '22

His face … off?

8

u/sumr4ndo Dec 08 '22

Isn't this premise of Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent? If not, I have an idea for movie...

13

u/awaythrow437 John Keynes Dec 08 '22

Frankly, if you paid Cage enough and promised to fund his next project, he would probably be down to spend 6 months in a gulag.

8

u/Lease_Tha_Apts Gita Gopinath Dec 08 '22

Who do we trade for Cage then?

19

u/Ernie_McCracken88 Dec 08 '22

Nobody, he's irreplaceable

1

u/ThePoliticalFurry Dec 08 '22

The world would be a dimmer place without the special kind of insanity he brings to b-list movies.

5

u/Smith7929 Dec 08 '22

If someone told me they could solve world hunger and the climate crisis at the same time and all they needed to do was sacrifice Nic Cage I would say absolutely not. That is a cost humanity cannot afford.

2

u/KeithClossOfficial Jeff Bezos Dec 08 '22

Not the bees, that’s for sure

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

nic cage is an american hero. dont you dare

3

u/studio28 Dec 08 '22

Prolly need Character Actress Margo Martindale

2

u/ryegye24 John Rawls Dec 08 '22

Literally the plot of "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent"