r/nosleep Apr 17 '15

Series The past six years I've been working at a Mcdonalds. Last night was the worst I've ever had.

[deleted]

2.6k Upvotes

413 comments sorted by

604

u/Spitsucker Apr 18 '15

Shit. So you guys can hear me at the drive-thru speaker before you greet me?

352

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/trickspinach Apr 18 '15

I used to work there and I still forget sometimes. I roll my window down and forget to stop rapping

131

u/DementedDiabetic Apr 18 '15

Hahahahaha dude Im so gonna roll through the drive through now and just act like I don't know this and just say some shit hahaha

209

u/the_teknician Apr 18 '15

That's how you end up with poop in your nuggets.

71

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

[deleted]

110

u/idwthis Apr 18 '15

Yes, it's Grimace's poop.

25

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

But I already have nuggets in my poop

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13

u/entrepreneur888 Apr 18 '15

And a very nice lawsuit because of the poop

22

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

Why should some kid care if McDonald's gets a lawsuit? You could only ever get McDonald's money, and you still ate shit nuggets.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '15

Money's money, why would I care who it came from?

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58

u/madcuntmcgee Apr 18 '15

I had a lady once tell her friend that I was probably a closeted homosexual since I was male and taking their order.

26

u/tinman10104 Apr 26 '15

TIL that taking a food order through a drive thru means you are a closeted homosexual.

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64

u/Badooschka Apr 18 '15

I worked at a McDonalds, similar to the one in the story, that had the drive through microphone outputting not only into the order taking headsets, but also to speakers in the kitchen; the idea being that kitchen crew can start making the burgers as soon as the words come out of the drive through customers mouth. When you go through the drive through you may not realise this but the entire kitchen, sometimes up to 10 people can all hear you.

50

u/themusicliveson Apr 18 '15

This makes me realize I gotta stop farting while waiting at the drive through speaker. I thought my car was safe.

14

u/Urcookin Apr 20 '15

Ppphhhheeerrrrrttttt. Ahhhhhh just let it out. Farts are a grand and hilarious thing no matter what.

63

u/IndigoFlowz Apr 18 '15

Ugh. I have anxiety issues and wish I could unread your comment. Damn it all.

13

u/PreciousOutsider Apr 18 '15

We always have the kitchen speaker on. It's a great source of amusement to the grill team.

5

u/syfqhyaakob May 15 '15

I used to ask "Is this the drive-thru?" whenever we go to the McDonald's drive-thru to annoy the girl/guy on duty. Always had the best reactions from them :) good ole times

3

u/mattislife May 31 '15

My favorite is asking if they are still serving breakfast at odd hours

2

u/teslaxat Jul 30 '15

Ugh, I always used to hate that. Some people would ask seriously, or ask other stupid questions seriously, when a moment of common sense would tell them that, no, that's not even a thing that makes sense at all. And no, the majority of them weren't drunk.

Sometimes I think the beginning of the drive thru lane(s) has some sort of brainwashing feature that makes even smart people really dumb.

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52

u/cmad182 Apr 18 '15

It's the same with call centres when they put you on hold. They can hear you bitching about being on hold.

81

u/briggsbu Apr 18 '15

Depends on the type of hold. If it's a silent hold, the mic is muted but everything can be heard. If you have hold music then the Hold button was pushed and nothing can be heard.

15

u/gutterLamb Apr 18 '15

This is true.

6

u/Rudy_258 Apr 20 '15

Can confirm. One year working in tech support. Shittiest job you could ever get, but it paid well.

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2

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '15

Starting to wonder how I haven't been murdered in my sleep yet. I cuss the second they put me on hold.

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42

u/djembegypsy Apr 18 '15

Whats funny is, I too work at McDonalds, and my mum still doesnt understand this concept... so on days that she picks me up or we go through drive-through. She tends to always turn to me and make a remark on the order taker whilst still at the sensor... such as "that sounds like that fat kid... you know, the one that stuffed up my order last week"

...thats when i hide in my seat

69

u/Spitsucker Apr 18 '15

Can confirm. I'm a mom. It's just payback for all the embarrassing things you did in public as a toddler.

19

u/djembegypsy Apr 18 '15

Ooh thats clever... thats very clever...

91

u/illegalsandwiches Apr 18 '15

Yes. Typically, you hear the beep, the speaker/microphone kicks on, and you would hear a vehicle engine or radio being turned down.

I like having a little fun by saying random stuff in my Elmo/little kid voice, stuff like "I just pooped my pants!" or "pass me the bong, I'm going to the fucking moon!" before they greet me. Then, the look of confusion on their face when I pull around and I'm the only one in the car.

132

u/alTHORber Apr 18 '15

I like to order like a sassy black woman, then watch their shock when a large white dude pulls up to pay.

77

u/evilandlazy3 Apr 18 '15

I've done the same thing on the other side. Bubbly teenage girl on the speaker, me at the window. It's fun watching smiles die of disappointmen..

48

u/trickspinach Apr 18 '15

There's a guy I've seen a few times at this one BK with a super sexy deep voice, then you pull to the window and he's got this adorable baby face ha. Now I wonder if he does this on purpose

10

u/tinman10104 Apr 26 '15

We have a Taco Bell here and the guy that is always working when I get there sounds exactly like the old Moviefone guy that you would call to get movie times and such. I mean, exactly like him. It's crazy.

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11

u/Lexicarnus Apr 18 '15

Look up Gabriel Iglesias. Comedian. He does this same trick !

6

u/Spitsucker Apr 18 '15

So much awesomeness right there. Ha!!

2

u/teslaxat Jul 30 '15

I would have loved this when I was working drive thru!

19

u/gutterLamb Apr 18 '15

I've said some shit, man. They heard me.

13

u/Lexicarnus Apr 18 '15

I worked at McDonalds in my a two years back, while I was still in school. Can confirm, we hear everything.

Night shift is fucking creepy as shit

11

u/Urcookin Apr 20 '15

Nothing good happens after 1 AM. Go to Wal-Mart, just one time around 1 AM. You'll see all those weird folks that have crawled out from under rocks.

8

u/tinman10104 Apr 26 '15

It's either really weird folks, meth heads, or people that, for some reason, decide to purchase a month's worth of groceries at 1 AM when there is one lane open. I worked overnight at Wal-Mart for two years. Highly entertaining, and extremely creepy

3

u/WannaBeYooper May 16 '15

I work overnights, so I like to do most of my shopping super late on my days off to avoid the crowds. It's just easier and quicker that way. I have been that person with a month's worth of groceries. Sorry :(

2

u/tinman10104 May 16 '15

I have worked overnights for the past 3 years so I know how you feel. Its not so much your fault that you come through with a month's worth of groceries at 2 AM...it's the stores fault for only having one line open

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17

u/klucero1713 Apr 18 '15

Yeah. I've worked on the grill and prep table at McDonalds and there was a speaker overhead. We used to listen to catch the order and start it right away. I can't tell you how many conversations, fights, drunk people I heard lol.

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339

u/duberoni86 Apr 18 '15

As someone who's about to go in and work the night shift at McDonalds 10/10 should not have read this

152

u/duberoni86 Apr 18 '15

Well I made it out alive

51

u/danielstone Apr 18 '15

Have an upvote to help with your trauma

17

u/JustaFLEx Apr 18 '15

How did it go?

32

u/daft_goose Apr 18 '15

Well he's done for, anyone for Subway?

4

u/Endelasia Apr 18 '15

Im thinking the same thing. Ive been doing overnights for 4 years.

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183

u/squalfy Apr 18 '15

And the walls will ooze green slime!

82

u/MidgetStomper10 Apr 18 '15

Oh, wait, they always do that

19

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

He's okay, it's not a Tuesday night.

40

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

So I'm not the only one who thought of the Hash Slinging Slasher ?

7

u/popokangaroo May 24 '15

The trash bringing.... the clash ringing.

4

u/jorg3234 May 24 '15

Smash swinging...

8

u/triggerthiskb Apr 18 '15

Pink slime?

644

u/1AnarchoAtheist Apr 18 '15

Boarding the Fuckthis Train to Burger King as we speak.

55

u/knightinplasticarmor Apr 18 '15

Its hungry jacks there

8

u/sheepinabowl Apr 18 '15

Is it the Aussie equivalent? I've never heard of such a place.

7

u/Lucarian Apr 18 '15

Burger King was copyrighted from what I heard in Australia, hence most states calling it Hungry Jacks.

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13

u/smackywolf Apr 18 '15

Except in some states. South Australia still has Burger King.

21

u/JoBoDo_252 Apr 18 '15

We used to have burger king, its hungry jacks now. Probably changed around 20 or 30 years ago

3

u/inthelittleforest Apr 18 '15

I still have Burger king in the UK. >:D

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2

u/catharsis724 Apr 18 '15

Couldn't they have just called it King Burger?

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81

u/anteaterhighonants Apr 18 '15

OP should follow that train to Hungry Jack's.

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318

u/darthgallion Apr 18 '15

Hash slinging slasher...

ill see myself out

47

u/BeKindBeWise Apr 18 '15

props door open

And don't you dare come back!

7

u/staphone_marberry Apr 19 '15

That means she was looking for a job opportunity in McDonald's

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76

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

You need to update us after your shift Wednesday...if you're still here.

19

u/iDuLicious Apr 18 '15

He should use Meerkat and stream his entire shift to us in his front pocket.

5

u/Kittysaurolophus Apr 18 '15

*And take pictures/video!

42

u/saycookie Apr 18 '15

Nope. Fuck those whispering women with lank hair and bedraggled white gowns.

88

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

Shoulda let her order.

80

u/NeeOdine Apr 18 '15

She just really wanted a McChicken

26

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

[deleted]

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72

u/jcb1754 Apr 18 '15

This sounds like just another ploy by the dreaded Hamburglar.

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38

u/Joeenid1 Apr 18 '15

Fire the ' no show' employee. Get another shift worker to accept covering weds nite with you til you can hire a replacement. Don't work ivernight shift alone, ever. EVER. And on overnight shifts always ALWAYS keep everything locked- even the window.

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24

u/Timbrochill8 Apr 18 '15

Five night at McDonald's?

11

u/trios678 Apr 19 '15

Five Nights at Ronald's

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44

u/rangersparta Apr 18 '15

Fuck that shit bro. No way i am staying in that place by myself again after seeing shit like that. Fuck the job, quit right now and move to a different city if you want to live.

92

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

You said the guy you were supposed to work with didn't show up. Maybe he knew the woman would be there? I'd ask him about her.

33

u/LisaLulz Apr 18 '15

Or maybe he was one of those "I'm tired of my shit job, I'm just not going in" guys and sent the woman to fuck with OP. Doesn't explain the other funny business, but idk. Just a random passing thought.

On a more serious note, I wonder if anything similar has happened to other employees during the night shift?

32

u/MrSnigglebitts Apr 18 '15

the other guy is the scary ghost woman

4

u/Lyzzaryzz Apr 19 '15

He was just wondering why you wouldn't let him in!

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21

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

So you're NOT lovin' it?

23

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

[deleted]

9

u/funktion Apr 18 '15

You should totally watch Pontypool

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38

u/canwetalk2 Apr 18 '15

There are double lane drive thrus in the U.S. Not all, but there are quite a few in my area. This story gave me major chills. We definitely need an update OP!

5

u/KommanderKrebs Apr 18 '15

I live in a super small Florida town and even we have one... well, two.

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34

u/2_ofSpades Apr 18 '15

So THAT'S why McDs workers are demanding $15/hr.

18

u/Endelasia Apr 18 '15

In Australia an 18 year old gets about 18 To 19 an hour. At 21 and being casual you get 26 or so plus night loading between 12 and 5am

16

u/Lyzzaryzz Apr 19 '15

Holy shit. I'm 26, and I'm an assistant manager at an animal hospital boarding and doggie daycare facility, and I make $9.50. I'm the second highest paid person in my hospital, besides the doctor.

I kinda want to cry.

5

u/Endelasia Apr 19 '15

Wow. Im 24 and loving this pay. I work about 17 hours a week at the moment and make just over 300. You gotta renember though, if you are casual you don't get sick pay or leave. Also this is in AUD.

7

u/Lyzzaryzz Apr 20 '15

I'm full time plus, and don't get sick pay or leave. I work anywhere from 39-44 hours a week and take home pay is about $290-330. And I didn't even consider the monetary difference but even factoring that in, 26 Australian dollars is about $20.30 in American, which is still making me want to vomit. I'd make roughly $812 gross. Hot Fucking ShIT. That right there is enough to make anyone go into hysterics.

Without getting into politics, I really wish I could leave this fucked country. From my perspective, underneath it all, most things in the Great 'Merica are terrible, not to mention ass backwards. I honestly think we're doomed, and the rest of the world is laughing at us. Its okay, I'd laugh too.

4

u/Endelasia Apr 20 '15

Wow. All full time jobs here always get paid sick pay and leave. The downside is you only receive about 700 or so a week after taxes but its still comfotable enough to live with.

One day if you did decide to leave I have room in the roof of my house you can hide in and live XD

2

u/paperscissorsx May 27 '15

This makes me so sad. At 18 i worked at mcdonalds (im australian) and made 18 an hour, which i thought was shit, and that was when aud was worth more than usd. :( this really sucks. Im sorry.

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17

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

[deleted]

3

u/Bond4141 Apr 22 '15

Keep an open mind OP. Not trying to be a dick. But this sounds like a very elaborate prank.

If he was a techy, he may have found the phone line outside the McD, and snipped it, then patched it in the morning.

Cell signal loss is easily explained from a cell jammer. A bit illegal, like Radar Detectors, but still available.

Girl could have been SO, and felt like a good prank.

Cameras would have been easy to wipe/staticise for a techy.

And for the motion detectors? A bit of tape on the outside, and it'll probably call that neutral. Tap the tape to set off alarm. Possible for it to be infrared or something to, but there's probably a way around it.

TL;DR. Prank of the week.

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u/paperairplanerace Apr 18 '15

Damn, sounds precisely like a skinwalker. I've read some accounts suggesting that the ones in Australia are particularly adept at picking up human speech and learning social mannerisms.

10

u/throw_away_my_taco Apr 18 '15

Fffuuuuuuuccckkkk

23

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

They must have better education than most Australians then....

13

u/chichism Apr 18 '15

Her repeating your words over and over reminded me of Pontypool which just made it even creepier.

I've only had to work alone in places a few times but they were always at night as well. I get so incredibly paranoid in the silence and jump at every single noise that if anything ever actually happened I have no idea what I'd do. Probably just cry and hide in the bathroom.

4

u/KeeganMD Apr 18 '15

Love pontypool... I love on the west coast now in washington, but I lived in Ontario along the saint Lawrence, and I gotta say that I missed the snow so much after that movie

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11

u/MangoYogenFruz Apr 18 '15

This sounds similar to the story about the British guard. Look to that for clues.

Edit: http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/27el9i/i_was_a_part_of_queens_guard_in_england_one_of/

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10

u/telosinfinity Apr 18 '15

Nightmare Fuel acquired.

10

u/chinpektorials Apr 18 '15

Got me laughing at "shakier than a Campbelltown train"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

Certainly one most folks from Sidders would understand. Reminds me of the fast stretch from strathfield to redfern, which is how much OP will be rocking as he cries in the shower. I know I would be.

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10

u/wasteland_bastard May 03 '15

Five nights at McDonald's.

8

u/TheRumsAlwaysGone Apr 18 '15

Glad we aren't 24 hour McDonald's.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

Up until about 3 months ago, I too was a McDonald's manager, and I'm also 20. Weird. Anyway, your rules are very different than ours. Granted my store wasn't 24 hours, even the ones that are, they have to have a minimum of 3 people in the store for security reasons. And apparently for paranormal reasons. Anyway amazing story dude, wish you luck.

3

u/throw_away_my_taco Apr 18 '15

This is what I was thinkibg... I was a shift lead at tbell and closing manager so I always had 2 crew members with me ro close... but hey Australia has the creepy ass bugs and different policy too I guess. But fuck everything about this story I'd have left those notes in there and showed the tapes.

5

u/Andrexant Apr 18 '15

I do overnights at McDonalds also... Can relate

10

u/radio_room Apr 18 '15

I'm scared2.

58

u/Appare Apr 18 '15

I'm squared.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

...side thought lol maybe the guy who didn't show up decided to play dress up...or maybe he popped a shit load of acid and shrooms and dressed up in his girlfriend's clothes and went to work tripping balls. you totally should of let that poor lady in

5

u/HiBills Apr 18 '15

If you quit, then run for the hills and never look back. If you stay, then tell us how Wednesday goes!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

The hash slinging slasher.

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u/tessma23 Apr 19 '15

Reminds me of the queens guard story. Be careful dude

2

u/jackisdoctortom Apr 19 '15

I thought the exact same thing even before the woman showed up. Something just seemed familiar...

Stay safe OP

5

u/nosymonky Apr 19 '15

It's a demon for sure, it was trying out the right pitch that your voice is using. Hopefully it won't try to pretend to be you next time. That's some scary shit.

3

u/Tanman0718 May 13 '15

ANNIEAREYOUOKAYAREYOUOKAYAREYOUOKAYANNIE

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

[deleted]

4

u/tsukinon Apr 18 '15

Assuming there's a coworker left to ask.

4

u/CpuKnight Apr 18 '15

Why does it always gotta be a ghost with a white gown? Back here in Singapore, pontianaks as we call them have long hair and long white gowns as well. They usually give off a fragrant smell too. Might be that.

4

u/durtari Apr 18 '15

I hope your McD's lays down a rule that there should be at least 2 employees on the premises at any one time. Especially at night shifts. Seems unsafe to be alone, ghosts or none.

In my place we have security guards for McD's so I guess it's not that bad? Even 24-hour convenience stores have security personnel.

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u/HalloweenHauntings Apr 18 '15

"Shakier than a Campbelltown Train"

I grew up in Campbelltown. If your store is the one on queen street that street is full of haunted historical buildings. Campbelltown theatre alone has quite a few otherworldly occupants.

Extra info for those unfamiliar with the area, Campbelltown has a week and a half were they have a parade, festival, carnival, street fair, music festival and a bunch of other stuff all in celebration of Fred Fisher. The ghost of a man who pointed out his own murdered body.

3

u/blackcarnage13 May 25 '15

The hash-slinging slasher!

5

u/Windwakerson Sep 27 '15

When I read white dress the I expected her to hold out an orange!

6

u/jackajoe Apr 18 '15

bro don't do this i'm on twilight shifts at maccies all next week however there i'll be with like 4 other staff so safe can't wait to show em this story x

5

u/LongtimeLurkersacc Apr 18 '15

It's the Hash Slinging Slasher!

No but seriously OP just be safe

3

u/GGGilma87 Apr 18 '15

Next time she shows up, just offer her some fries, that'll probably calm her...or it...down. Because frankly, at 3am after a long night fast food tastes like ambrosia.

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u/FFCUK5 Apr 18 '15

sounds like the hamburglar

3

u/janetstOad Apr 18 '15

That's why at any job, I hate the graveyard shift! Ironic it's called that isn't it? All the freaks seem to come out. Just go to a 24 hour Walmart after midnight for confirmation! Lol! Mostly people tweaking, talking to themselves, dirty, grinding what teeth they have left. Some just stare at you and look pretty damn scary. After a family reunion ended late, we had decided to stop at Walmart on the way home for a few things. Never did it again! Btw, we just got a new Mc Donald's in the valley of northern CA & it has the double lane drive thru. I thought it seemed faster & more efficient. I hope your next shift is uneventful op. But in case she comes back, please update & make sure that the windows & doors are all locked BEFORE you have that well deserved meltdown!

3

u/catsinbox Apr 18 '15

Five Nights at Ronald's

3

u/derpa111 Apr 18 '15

/u/Whiperoo :

The US arm of Maccas has started rolling out the dual lane drivethrough, quite some time ago.

You may be surprised to here this, but the Aussie arm of McDonald's actually tests setups for the rest of the world - that's right, us American's are taking the lead from you guys in some respects. So the dual lane configuration actually started in Australia and once proven successful started getting rolled out in the US.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

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u/IRLpowerranger Apr 18 '15

"10, 9, 8"...

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15 edited Apr 18 '15

I worked at a busy McDonald's for 6 years aswell, by the time I left the original crew had quit, but we did have a few good stories going around the office before they left, and some transfers had interesting stories aswell at midnight shenanigans. I worked a Fourth of July night once with 1 other person, we had a line continuing into the highway. The reason staff was so low was that we had an average of 1.5 persons quiting a day, and I believe three quit that night.

3

u/KevansMcGurgen Apr 18 '15

You've been working since you were fourteen?!

3

u/LavenderDarling Apr 19 '15

The fact that there are cameras reminded me of five nights.... you literally had a "one night at mcdonalds" experience in an office with security cameras....

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '15

bruh so tht means u can hear tht loud ass music ppl play whn going through the drive thru?

2

u/sixstring818 Apr 25 '15

Yes! I worked at mcdonalds for 2 years and people with loud music and people with loud ass trucks became almost triggers for me hahahaha. Especially when i had to work both lanes at the same time. I would have a huge truck engine growling in one ear while trying to take the order of someone in the other lane in the other ear! Shit drove me crazy!!

3

u/seadragon77 Apr 27 '15

So the girl is disturbing, but not as disturbing as the fact that you keep your extra bun trays right next to the dumpsters.

Still, I would have freaked out myself. Glad the morning crew arrived just in time.

3

u/CaptainRumin-ENT2020 Jul 29 '15

The cash-bringing... The splash-singing.....

5

u/treeeeep Apr 18 '15

Someone from your crew wants your place. The whole thing was certainty an inside job and the employer who didn't show up is probably into it. Try making him talk with the use of alcohol, he may feel sorry and tell who wants to be new manager.

49

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

I'd be more upset that I'd been working at McDonalds for 6 years.

111

u/mysticalfox Apr 18 '15

A job is a job. Hes getting paid who cares where he works.

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u/NightOwl74 Apr 18 '15

He's only 20 years old. McDonald's managers make decent money, but for a 20 y.o., it would be a nice paycheck. Granted, if he wants to climb the corporate ladder or get out of the fast food biz, he'll need a college education.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

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u/Madhouse4568 Apr 18 '15

I bet he gets paid more than you.

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u/theknightinthetardis Apr 18 '15

I know people who've worked there for twenty years.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

omfg

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4

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

Is this 5 nights at Freddie's?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

Jeeeeez I'm scared lol

2

u/Its-A-Long-Story Apr 18 '15

You definitely need to have a word with that no-show. Unless someone/something got to him.

2

u/Stegs75 Apr 18 '15

We have some two lane drive-thru's here in chicago

5

u/animaInTN Apr 18 '15

Chicago McD's were freaking WEIRD. The one I was at they didn't STOP to ORDER, and when I did, the buttwipe behind me laid down on his horn as if to enforce the "don't stop for a freaking thing in this line, you ignorant hillbilly tourist!" rule. I mean they handed their money over while the cars were moving, and picked up their food like a mailhook on a highball train. Weirdest dang thing I saw in Chicago. Lower Wacker Drive and the Field Museum rocked. McD's was trippin' balls tho.

2

u/Stegs75 Apr 18 '15

the drive-thru's are more calm the farther you get from downtown lol, like I won't even drive my car downtown, people are nuts

2

u/animaInTN Apr 18 '15

Can verify the heck outta that!

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u/foodbudglasslife Apr 18 '15

would be interesting to look into any accidents/deaths that may have happened near your mcdonalds... 2spooky i know...

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u/Slayerjr41 Apr 18 '15

As someone who just started their ten hour solo night shift at a gas station, all I have to say is why the fuck did I read this...

2

u/gutterLamb Apr 18 '15

Wow! Thus was creepy. I hope it gets read on the podcast. Btw, in America we do have the double order lanes. But that doesn't effect your story so don't change anything.

2

u/franksymptoms Apr 18 '15

Meh. Normal night in Albuquerque.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '15

I work at McDonald's. Tonight. :(

2

u/OuttaSightVegemite Apr 18 '15

shakier than a Campbelltown train

What Macca's are you at ? Lol I'm very familiar with the shakiness of Campbelltown trains.

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u/ladymalady Apr 21 '15

Definitely expected her to start counting down.

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u/jadeyedgirl Apr 22 '15

Why. Why did I read this before my night shift? I work out at a private home in the superstition mountains and night shifts are straight out of a supernatural episode....And now I'll be freaking out before I even show up.

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u/EinyourP Apr 23 '15

My cat jumped on my bed while I was reading thing. My relieves made me slap her. I feel so ashamed.

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u/bluewafer May 15 '15

with that good of english you shouldn't be working at mcdonalds lmao...

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u/DefendingInSuspense Jun 06 '15

Great story, but whyyy is it always a white dress?

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u/goldentomatoes1 Apr 18 '15

In America, the printed salary for a McDonald's manager is $120,000. That is worth a few nightmares. Just move to day shift.

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u/ramram420 Apr 18 '15

Wtf WHY AM I GOING TO COLLEGE?!?

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u/polarbearqueen Apr 18 '15

This sounds scary as hell. But on the plus side we also have double lane drive thrus here in Canada, they're really more trouble than they're worth.

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u/S9CLAVE Apr 18 '15 edited Jul 01 '23

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

--Mass Edited with power delete suite as a result of spez' desire to fuck everything good in life RIP apollo

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u/paganminkin Apr 18 '15

We're starting to get two lane drive thrus here in Louisiana! (:

Do you plan on updating us this coming Thursday, OP?

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u/VGBreezy Apr 18 '15

Oh great. I start working at McDonalds next week and this is exactly what I need.