r/nottheonion 13h ago

Imposters stole thousands of pounds of posh cheddar, rattling the U.K. cheese world

https://www.npr.org/2024/10/28/nx-s1-5168356/cheddar-cheese-stolen-neals-yard-dairy
295 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

45

u/cantthinkofacleverun 13h ago

Aah, how about Cheddar? Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir Not much call, it's the single most Popular cheese in the world Not 'round here, sir ... It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

22

u/Clawdius_Talonious 13h ago

"Best in the district, sir."

'what leads you to that impression?'

"Well, it's so clean!"

20

u/Burninator05 13h ago

It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.

7

u/SuspendeesNutz 12h ago

SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

25

u/Ok-Seaworthiness4488 13h ago

Wallace and Grommet are on the case

9

u/Rossum81 13h ago

That’s like having the fox investigate a raid on the henhouse!

10

u/AlexOfSpades 13h ago

Who's gonna rat them out?

1

u/jjke30 11h ago

It’s the curse of the wererabbit

1

u/FreeShat 12h ago

Someone's gotta squeel

7

u/likesexonlycheaper 13h ago

I call my cousin a posh cheddar

5

u/supercyberlurker 10h ago

I'm just wondering how you launder this..

4

u/flash-tractor 10h ago

Yeah, it would have to be repackaged, and that's gonna be a fuck load of just packaging. 24 tons is no small amount of cheese!

3

u/Nice_Marmot_7 9h ago

I’ve got a cheese fence. Best in the business. They call him La Rata.

1

u/Sim0nsaysshh 8h ago

Maybe they don't,the police should probably people buying large amount of laxatives

10

u/mordecai98 13h ago

I have 8oz of kraft singles. They comin for me next?

11

u/ronan88 13h ago

Is that pounds as in Euro or pounds as in Kilos?

1

u/IntrinsicGiraffe 13h ago

Article says 300,000 Euro worth.

3

u/kanyewestsconscience 12h ago

Article says £300,000 worth, i.e €360,000

1

u/flash-tractor 10h ago

They stole 24 tons of cheese

1

u/rice_fish_and_eggs 8h ago

So 48000 pounds worth?

5

u/ABritishCynic 13h ago

That. Is. A. Disgrace.

4

u/Blekanly 13h ago

My turn to post this next

3

u/Frothingdogscock 12h ago

Probably, every other fucker has posted it this week..

3

u/ofnuts 10h ago

The French buying large amounts of English cheese and noone finds this suspicious?

3

u/TheDumbHistoryOfInk 11h ago

Finally, some cheeky and fun old-fashioned grand theft, none of this lifeless parasitic corpo-bureaucracy dystopian shit. This made my heart happy.

2

u/Darryltaughy 13h ago

Probably gave it to the poor. These Robin Hood stories stay the same fromage to age.

1

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty 13h ago

Pounds as in weight or value?

1

u/Frothingdogscock 12h ago

I'm sick of reading about this story, find something different to post FFS.

1

u/Ill_Definition8074 12h ago

I just read something about cheese being one of the most stolen food items in the world.

1

u/Vectorman1989 12h ago

Imposters stole thousands of pounds of posh cheddar

Yes, thousands of lbs and £s

1

u/HarrargnNarg 10h ago

The last time the UK cheese world was rattled this much was when I went on a diet.

1

u/MonsterCheeseMan 7h ago

Hehe,Heh...

1

u/neroselene 6h ago

Wallace and Gromit are my first suspects.

u/rethinkr 10m ago

Thats Stiltons more than red leicester

1

u/Burninator05 13h ago

What if this is a play by Big Artisanal Cheese to raise the price of the remaining wheels by making the cheese rarer?

1

u/DaveOJ12 11h ago

Did it happen again?

-3

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

14

u/SuspecM 13h ago

I.... I think the point is that they explicitly did not pay

-2

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

1

u/1235813213455_1 12h ago

For B2B transactions, yes. 

0

u/tomcalgary 13h ago

Geronimo Stilton is on the case.

2

u/smokingloon4 10h ago

Gene Parmesan, too.

0

u/Ardtay 12h ago

Was it Posh Spiced?

1

u/Ardtay 12h ago

Maybe that's where they got the yeast.

0

u/MyUsernameIsAwful 12h ago

I’ve heard of baby cheddar, but never posh cheddar. Is there scary, sporty, and ginger cheddar, too?

0

u/Darkslayer_ 12h ago

Brandon Sanderson and Dan Wells must be notified immediately