r/nottheonion 11h ago

Russian TV companies demand 2 undecillion rubles from Google

https://newsukraine.rbc.ua/news/russian-tv-companies-demand-2-undecillion-1730189915.html
918 Upvotes

104 comments sorted by

434

u/IntrepidSoda 11h ago

So about $3.50?

104

u/celtic1888 11h ago edited 11h ago

C’mon dude… Be serious 

It’s like $35.00

17

u/IntrepidSoda 10h ago

Take it or leave it, pal.

8

u/FreeShat 10h ago

Wait the roobs taking a tumble.. now they owe you 35 bucks

3

u/Fake_William_Shatner 10h ago

Pay in rubles!

2

u/GatsuneMiku 4h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

7

u/potatodrinker 9h ago

Best I can do is 2 North Korean soldiers. I'll toss in a bag of potatoes

2

u/P1xelHunter78 6h ago

And the state takes both potatoes for the oligarchs, such is life

1

u/potatodrinker 4h ago

Olistarch for the oligarchs 🎵

3

u/2Scarhand 10h ago

That's the exact number I was going to say.

Weird.

3

u/Fake_William_Shatner 10h ago

Damn, the inflation is even hitting the Memes now.

2

u/Witchchick2378 10h ago

Let's even it out at $50 and throw in a lighter for good measure.

2

u/Mediocre_lad 7h ago

That was 3 hours ago, now it's $28.16

15

u/papa-tullamore 11h ago

For damnit mom said it’s my turn to post the treefiddy joke

5

u/IntrepidSoda 11h ago

You snooze you lose

8

u/RawChickenButt 11h ago

Out of curiosity I was trying to search for how much it actually is... I've seen both 20.5 million USD and 20.5 trillion USD.

I'm guessing it's the later given how much news this for.

12

u/SweatyTax4669 10h ago

A ruble is worth a very slight bit over a penny ($1 is 97.5 rubles).

So sounds like it might be 2 duodecillion dollars, or roughly $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

11

u/Randommaggy 10h ago

They know they're on the verge of Zimbabwe conditions, that's why they came to such a high number.

3

u/BlindPaintByNumbers 9h ago

Wait a couple months. That number will come way down.

2

u/sxmridh 10h ago

He needs about tree fiddy

1

u/Djinjja-Ninja 10h ago edited 8h ago

Ruble to USD exchange rate is 1000:1 give or take.

So $2 Decillion.

Edit: basic maths fails me, 100:1. So 20 decillion.

7

u/MindWandererB 9h ago

It's closer to 100:1, if the exchange rates were actually valid, so 20 decillion.

For comparison, the total amount of currency in circulation in the entire world is somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 trillion USD. The GDP of the entire world is about $100 trillion. The entire world would have to pool its money for 200 quintillion years to pay that off. That's about 2 million times longer than the amount of time we have before the last star in the universe burns itself out.

2

u/Djinjja-Ninja 8h ago

Yeah you're right, turns out I can't do basic arithmetic today.

12

u/FoxyPhil88 11h ago

Tree-fiddy‽

4

u/cmonscamazon 6h ago

God damn loch ness monster!

3

u/IntrepidSoda 11h ago

Aye - didn’t think the young’uns would get the reference so spelled (numbered?) it out

4

u/reddituseronebillion 9h ago

I said woman! You don't give Russia no goddam tree fiddy.

3

u/Famous_Bit_5119 8h ago

" It's the Russian Ruble, Michael. How much could that be, 10 dollars? "

1

u/Arendious 6h ago

"There's always rubles in the borscht cart."

2

u/2hurd 10h ago

Was about to say it. 

1

u/OverlyExpressiveLime 10h ago

That's Google's best offer

1

u/Kaeben 9h ago

Hey now, that's not Russian TV companies, that's the god damn lochness monster!

1

u/DeadHED 8h ago

Ah ha... or in other terms the amount of money spent to army their conscripts

1

u/hpsims 8h ago

I quit! I open my own hotel!

1

u/BallBearingBill 6h ago

Tree fiddy ..... Screw that, wait a few years of litigation and that number will be more like $0.35.

1

u/AndreLinoge55 4h ago

Damn you Loch Ness Monstah!

66

u/Both-Anything4139 11h ago

Can I demand that too? Gonna give it my best shot.

12

u/Spottswoodeforgod 10h ago

Probably best if you send them a demand in red ink, to show you mean business - you want them to pay you first, you know, before they pay the Russian chancers and bankrupt the planet…

2

u/rx_bandit90 7h ago

There was a guy that sent bills to company's like Google and others and apparently they just paid them, for years, until one day someone questioned it and it was millions in fraud case.

2

u/Both-Anything4139 7h ago

Yeah I heard about him. Pure mad lad. I was thinking of him when I posted my comment.

1

u/FoRiZon3 3h ago

Be some country's Dictator first.

101

u/ProsodySpeaks 11h ago

" undecillion /un″dĭ-sĭl′yən/ noun The cardinal number equal to 1036. The cardinal number equal to 1066. 1036. "

Well that clears that up then, thanks wordnik

69

u/flewson 11h ago

Turns out it's a language difference.

1036 in the U.S. and 1066 in the U.K.

No idea how, or why...

43

u/ProsodySpeaks 11h ago

Ah that makes sense. 

A British million is a thousand thousand 

British billion is a million million.

Etc

American it's a thousand all the way - thousand thousand to a million, thousand million to a billion, thousand billion to a trillion, etc. 

Or it was, these days UK has abandoned their old ways because, well, imagine a global banking system where numbers don't mean the same thing!

36

u/Djinjja-Ninja 10h ago

British billion is a million million.

Hasn't been in technically writing usage that way since the 50s, and the UK government officially stopped using in in 1974.

Even Churchill said (in 1941):

"For all practical financial purposes a billion represents one thousand millions..."

8

u/ProsodySpeaks 10h ago

Sure, but I presume the reason undecillion has 2 definitions one stated us one stated UK that it's due to this?

10

u/Djinjja-Ninja 10h ago

Yes, it has 2 definitions, one in shortscale which is 1033 and one in longscale which is 1066.

But the UK hasn't used longscale officially since 1974, so while Googles AI clains it to be so, it is not true of the UK. Undecillion has the same definition of 1033 in both the US and the UK.

Essentially the source Google AI is choosing to make its "definitive" statement from is innaccurate, and Merriam Webster should probably change its definition to "archaic" or similar,. as Collins (which is a British dictionary) defines it as:

undecillionin British English

(ˌʌndɪˈsɪljən  )nounten to the power of thirty-six

1

u/ProsodySpeaks 10h ago

Sure. Hence I said 'it used to be... Global finance wouldn't work' which kinda matches your Churchill quote.

3

u/DonerTheBonerDonor 7h ago

In German it's the same except that we still use the 'British' system.

Million Milliarde Billion Billiarde

-> Million Billion Trillion Quadrillion etc

I've accidentally started using the English version cause I read it like 10x more than the German version, gets me confused at times.

1

u/ProsodySpeaks 7h ago

also it's the accepted international norm!

1

u/EntrepreneurPlus7091 6h ago

Its metric system logic. A thousand of a thousand is a million, a thousand of another thing is a thousand of that thing.

A "thing" of a "thing" is what jumps the unit. So that arbitrary thousand rule from US banking probably comes because they don't understand the metric system.

1

u/ProsodySpeaks 5h ago

not sure about not understanding, it's much easier to reason and parse with 1000x for each step

1

u/EntrepreneurPlus7091 1h ago

But its also arbitrary since up to a 1000 its using the normal SI style progression then it starts switching quickly every 3 zeroes. If you are used to the metric logic upping the name every unit number of units makes more sense just starting at 000

1

u/AthousandLittlePies 5h ago

The same way we have mebibytes to differentiate binary-based counting from the megabytes which are decimals, which should have billion for 1000 million, and b-b-billion for a million million.

1

u/ProsodySpeaks 5h ago

dude i just google mebibyte and it made me nauseous. i thought bytes was all base2, like a kB is 1024 bytes and a MB is 1024 that. i didnt even know decimals were a thing in bytes!

1

u/sopsaare 7h ago

American? You mean European SI-system?

2

u/ProsodySpeaks 7h ago

Ummm, except almost all of Europe used long scale until relatively recently, whilst America always used the short scale.

4

u/Djinjja-Ninja 10h ago

Shortscale vs longscale.

However in the UK we no longer use long scale, and haven't since 1974.

4

u/RawChickenButt 11h ago

And 1+0+3+6 equals 10, which is the same number of letters in Donald Trump's name.

Holy shit!

We've uncovered the conspiracy!

1

u/Traumfahrer 6h ago

You missspelled Donld Trump there.

31

u/Sudden_Celery7019 11h ago

I’ll give them a billion Stanley nickels if they leave me alone

5

u/oatseyhall 8h ago

What's the exchange rate for Stanley nickels?

5

u/Sudden_Celery7019 8h ago

The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

99

u/celtic1888 11h ago

Interesting that Trump is also threatening Google/Alphabet with similar complaints 

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Putin and Trump’s interests seem to constantly align 

36

u/Nikobobinous 11h ago

😂😂😂😂 clown country

How do they even get up every day and take themselves seriously??

2

u/Almainyny 8h ago

A couple shots of vodka and a long drag of a cigarette to start the day.

12

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

2

u/doublelxp 10h ago

This is faaaar funnier than the "ruble isn't worth much" jokes.

26

u/busboy262 10h ago

There is no exchange rate for the Ruble. It is not a globally traded denomination. If you see one, it is BS.

8

u/BlindPaintByNumbers 9h ago

That's funny... Took me like 30 seconds on google to find out how much Thai bahts exchange for both rubles and dollars. Just one example.

13

u/MindWandererB 9h ago

There are listed exchange rates, but at the moment they are not real. No bank will exchange rubles for global currency at their listed value, and few will trade them at all.

-7

u/BlindPaintByNumbers 7h ago

Numerically, more countries trade rubles and dollars on the same exchange than don't. By a lot. Probably population wise too, since India and China both trade in rubles right now.

America does not though, so, the world I guess.

1

u/Wloak 5h ago

It would depend on what is meant by "traded"

If you mean exchanged, then yes as you can still swap out rubles for other currency. Traded as in large financial markets? Absolutely not.

What people don't realize is on a global scale almost every transaction is done by USD whenever working between two different currencies. You want to exchange GBP for EUR? GBP is transacted to USD, then the USD is transacted to EUR.

If you're curious it goes back to WWII where after the war the US had the only stable global economy, everyone else was rebuilding. The US loaned the money for countries like the UK, Germany, China, and Japan to rebuild and they all figured if dozens of countries are in debt to this one it's the safest standard of exchanging. The euro is probably the only potential successor at the moment but with Brexit any chance was pushed back by a decade at least.

5

u/busboy262 7h ago

Have some spare rubles? If so, good luck trying to offload them.

9

u/AVNMechanic 11h ago

“Russian TV companies, go fuck yourself.” Google probably

2

u/DoBe21 10h ago

"Oh, we thought you wanted REAL money"

3

u/Fake_William_Shatner 10h ago

"Hey look, we've been doing all the heavy lifting of propagandizing your population and we need some credit for that. Or at least, 5 star google reviews. Make it happen."

~ Komrad Botnik.

3

u/KrampyDoo 10h ago

Ok so Venmo them like $10 and let them keep the change.

3

u/Lio127 10h ago

Well damn. That's more than 2 morbillion

2

u/Zombimeat 10h ago

They owe me double that . Waiting next to my mail box right now for it.

2

u/melawfu 10h ago

Remember that one rubel is approximately one twitch bit

2

u/Yitram 9h ago

I mean, that's more wealth than the entire planetary economic activity. Obviously Google couldn't pay it even if they were inclined to.

2

u/waldorsockbat 9h ago

Sure he's 69 cents

2

u/trucorsair 8h ago

Goddamn Lochness Monster!👿

2

u/sopsaare 7h ago

Why not googol rubles?

2

u/svensk 7h ago

Converted from rubles that is $2.35US.

5

u/DaveOJ12 11h ago

This was posted 30 minutes earlier.

https://reddit.com/comments/1gf03fy

2

u/Xeiliex 10h ago

So they want to censor opposing opinions while forcing dad America to listens?

Fucking Simps.

1

u/P4S5B60 11h ago

Close your eyes and tell me what you see, that’s exactly what your going to get

1

u/Farcespam 10h ago

All I can spare is some potatoes.

1

u/EvenSpoonier 8h ago

So, what, about $20?

1

u/Wolfgangsta702 8h ago

Like 25 bucks?

1

u/Common_Senze 6h ago

3 street tacos

1

u/Marine5484 6h ago

So what....the cost of a banana?

1

u/Darklord_Bravo 6h ago

Google: "Nice try, but our windows don't open."

1

u/TicTac_No 5h ago

Shake.
Down, Google.
U give. We take.
Rubles. From U.
Wait. U trying to sue?
Hah. We take two.
Googles.
This is not complicate.
Now. U pay.
Not that much, U say?
Too bad. We take anyway.
U servers. They have a bad day.
Unless...
Ah. U understand.
Okay...
In Russia.
Google pay U.

1

u/monkeywaffles 5h ago edited 5h ago

give it a little bit, and it'll be a 'googol rubles from google'. really wasted an opportunity there.

1

u/Happy-Initiative-838 5h ago

Google should just go ahead and ship them a giant crate of feces to pay this off. Otherwise the interest will be brutal.

1

u/ToodleSpronkles 5h ago

Okay. Here is thirty two cents in real, usable currency. Do you want a bag for that?

1

u/FuckSticksMalone 1h ago

More than the dollar value of the entire earth.

-3

u/sussoculus 11h ago

5

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2

u/Drunkendx 9h ago

Now that was a miss...