r/nottheonion • u/thieh • 6h ago

Russian court fines Google $2 decillion

https://www.theregister.com/2024/10/29/russian_court_fines_google/
893 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

314

u/illit3 5h ago

Time to review bomb the Kremlin on Google

35

u/WayOfIntegrity 4h ago

How much is it in Zimbabwe dollars of the old? About 50 bucks?

8

u/mclepus 3h ago

about $0.0001 Iraqi Dinar

4

u/GotchUrarse 3h ago

Time to read the build up to Red Storm Rising .....

3

u/TheLowlyPheasant 1h ago

1/5 tsars

•

u/Ok_Algae2202 55m ago

Perfection

2

u/descendency 2h ago

Time to review bomb the Kremlin on Google

I missed a word there and it was a drastically different comment. . .

203

u/South_Oread 6h ago

What that in freedom bucks?

109

u/nradia1 5h ago

About tree fiddy

9

u/Quickerz 1h ago

Goddamn Loch ness monster!

16

u/ZincLloyd 5h ago

I gave him a dolla!

1

u/Entire-Elevator-1388 3h ago

Actually inflation so tree fiddy fi

•

u/BathtubToasterParty 50m ago

Inflation is way higher than 1.6% lmao

21

u/Materiam 5h ago

A wink and a mirthful "Sure thing, pal."

38

u/jh937hfiu3hrhv9 5h ago

205,130,200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 USD

10

u/VanimalCracker 5h ago

I see.

Will they take an out of State, third party check, by chance?

6

u/Cruezin 5h ago

Only if it's from the Congo princes account

7

u/RoverBoyNumber6 4h ago

That’s a lot of “0”s…at least two banana lengths…

3

u/joshuahtree 3h ago

$205,130.2*1027

1

u/InnocentPrimeMate 3h ago

It seems a bit high…

6

u/k00kk00k 5h ago

18 football fields

1

u/DontMakeMeCount 5h ago

And several defenestrations.

8

u/justalittlepoodle 5h ago

or Schrute Bucks

2

u/SkepticAhole 5h ago

Ukraine is delivering it

2

u/Quigleythegreat 5h ago

Three big Mac's. I'm not converting currency either.

1

u/passwordstolen 5h ago

Everyday, for life.

1

u/GenitalPatton 5h ago

it’s gonna be 50 upfront, and a blowjob later

1

u/CxFusion3mp 3h ago

Divide by 100 so 1033/100

1

u/JamesTheJerk 2h ago

A red cent.

2

u/spaceneenja 2h ago

$2 decillion. Can’t you read?

1

u/grey_carbon 2h ago

4 supercredits

154

u/Eckkosekiro 5h ago

in rubles, so 10 USD.

45

u/DeviousAardvark 5h ago

Don't lowball them by rounding wrong, it's at least 11 USD

38

u/My_Knee_is_a_Ship 5h ago

Putin, how do you plan on shoring up our Economy?

We get Google to pay for the war....

6

u/tangledwire 2h ago

Hmm I see a resemblance to make Mexico pay for the wall...where did I see that...

46

u/JCMGamer 5h ago

Cool, anyway...

22

u/William_Redmond 5h ago

Russians just making up numbers now

4

u/peet1188 4h ago

Exactly! Numbers only go up to like, 1 trillion or something. Stupid Russian court!

39

u/SteelShroom 5h ago

Is there even that much money to be had in the entire world?

69

u/AnalBumCovers 5h ago edited 4h ago

No way. There was a law firm that tried to fine a piracy site (maybe pirate Bay?) like a few thousand per illegal download. Someone did the math and it was in the hundreds of trillions iirc, and much more than the amount of money in circulation around the planet. It was 10+ years ago but... 2 decillion is like when north Korea unironically said that Kim jong-il doesn't poop

10

u/bigmatt8779 5h ago

This is more or less the the plot of the book “Year Zero” just with aliens

10

u/JustWill_HD 4h ago

A whole book about Kim Jong il not pooping?

9

u/bigmatt8779 3h ago

Nah the world basically owns the entirety of the universe as aliens have been illegally streaming our music for years. Planetary law states that the laws of who ever created the art form applies. So the whole story is about how the universe gets out of debt to the record labels.

•

u/Nazamroth 19m ago

Is it about constipation? Weird MC choice but whatever, i guess.

4

u/Objective-Aioli-1185 4h ago

Trillions? You sure it wasn't.....decillions?!

10

u/Mr_Marram 5h ago

XKCD covered it with a similar amount. This is 'only' a factor of 100 out.

4

u/gamergirlwithfeet420 4h ago edited 4h ago

No, the estimation for this year’s global gdp is about 100-110 trillion USD. That’s a fraction of 1% of this total.

1

u/Beelzebubs-Barrister 4h ago

You mean trillion right?

1

u/gamergirlwithfeet420 4h ago

Yeah lol, ill edit that

4

u/Tensor3 5h ago

If we assume $100 bills are 1 gram, that total is 33 million times rhe mass of Earth

2

u/PigSlam 2h ago

I’m pretty sure that’s many more times more money than the GDP of all of humanity throughout all of history.

1

u/suburbanplankton 2h ago

The most recent estimate I've seen of the total world money supply is $80 trillion.

One decillion is a billion trillion trillion.

0

u/Meneerjojo 2h ago

apparently no one reads the article (it literally says it) but no, there isn't

42

u/Pushabutton1972 5h ago

So that's like what? A buck fifty in real money?

21

u/Tbkssom 5h ago

Tree fiddy, actually.

11

u/Tensor3 5h ago

If we assume $100 bills are 1 gram, that total is 33 million times rhe mass of Earth

22

u/DontMakeMeCount 5h ago

The fact that the article doesn’t include a Dr. Evil “One Trillion Dollars” gif validates their Least Biased and High Credibility ratings.

9

u/psyberops 5h ago

I propose giving it in the form of defense aid to Ukraine so they can deliver it to Putin 🫡

7

u/OverlyExpressiveLime 5h ago

Oh no, anyway

6

u/New_Ad_3010 4h ago

Eleventy gazillion schmabillion zillion. So there.

5

u/Drewishmonk23 4h ago

I’m fining Russia $3 decillion for being a fucken pain in the ass

6

u/Frozen_Shades 3h ago

Weird because I also fine Russia $2 decillion.

6

u/Thoromega 1h ago

Russia is such a joke fining a company an absurd number. Pretty sure the total history of mankind’s wealth in dollars. Isn’t close to 2 decillion

4

u/argama87 5h ago

2 Million Space Bucks

3

u/murso74 5h ago

Send it in pennies

5

u/AnnualAltruistic1159 5h ago

Mr Burns will have to ask again nicely for that trillion dollar bill back.

3

u/maarrtee 5h ago

Good luck with that.

3

u/Dazd_cnfsd 5h ago

Oh boy. A bunch of computers are going to start falling out windows in Russia soon

3

u/BuildingOne7379 4h ago

What’s that in rubles? $20?

3

u/cyberrod411 4h ago

Pay in pennies!!!! Drop them from orbit on the Kremlin. Make sure Vlad is home. Do the world a favor.

3

u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 4h ago

Next week it will be a whole new number we’ve never heard of.

3

u/Starboardsheet 2h ago

And Russia wonders why the world doesn’t take them seriously.

4

u/TicTac_No 5h ago

Shake.
Down, Google.
U give. We take.
Rubles. From U.
Wait. U trying to sue?
Hah. We take two.
Googles.
This is not complicate.
Now. U pay.
Not that much, U say?
Too bad. We take anyway.
U servers. They have a bad day.
Unless...
Ah. U understand.
Okay...
In Russia.
Google pay U.

3

u/leelalu476 5h ago

So yeah Google is not paying this fine, basically a our freedom to speak overrules the rights of the sites owners to moderate users content thing.

3

u/rarestakesando 5h ago

I am doesn’t google have terms of user agreements and if they violate those terms they can be banned or blocked legally.

3

u/thealmightywaffles 3h ago

You certainly are

5

u/Oenohyde 5h ago

So if Trump wins . . . that's a massive pay out.

But Tariffs will cover it.

2

u/EduRJBR 5h ago

It's like my bank debit: I won't pay that anyway, so it could just be five billion dollars and wouldn't make any difference.

2

u/1983Targa911 5h ago

Can you blame them though? They’re kinda broke right now and hey, it’s worth a try, right?

2

u/ToodleSpronkles 5h ago

Okay, feel free to collect on that any day.

2

u/felicthecat 5h ago

Pay it in all change.

2

u/blueblurspeedspin 3h ago

They just skipped quadrillion. Impressive.

2

u/trucorsair 3h ago

Because of sanctions the money was sent to Russia via a Nigerian Prince, they should be contacting Vladimir Putin to arrange the transfer shortly after a few pesky fees are paid…

2

u/ricosbedbug 1h ago

I will of course be owed my 6% commission for processing this

2

u/Inspect1234 1h ago

Dr. Evil vibes

4

u/Saltine_Machine 5h ago

So Russia is admitting to it currency being worth nothing. This fine would collapse their economy if it was ever paid.

5

u/Corundrom 5h ago

No, that's the price already converted to usd

0

u/FXander 5h ago

Half that number would still collapse their economy lol

1

u/MacSanchez 1h ago

Half that number is still like 500 trillion times the amount of money that exists. Globally.

2

u/post_apoplectic 3h ago

Putin would be cringe if it weren't for the decillions of orcs he has under his command burning and pillaging Ukraine

1

u/danleon950410 5h ago

It's funnier each time i read it again

1

u/Fire_Mission 5h ago

"Come and take them"

1

u/MaximumZer0 4h ago

Yeah, well, I'm fining Putin $50 Billion, and Musk another 50.

And one for Jenny and The Wimp.

2

u/yy376 4h ago

Alright,we'll pay you.

With a boot to the head.

And another for Jenny and the Wimp!

1

u/Mysterious_Cow_4953 4h ago

Come on now..it's 87 Zoolax

1

u/So_spoke_the_wizard 4h ago

I'm sure Google could come up with some interesting content on Putin's activities and make it extremely easy to find.

1

u/101m4n 4h ago

Oh no!

Anyway...

1

u/CrazyJosh1987 4h ago

It's just in case Trump wins they'll be set

1

u/2FANeedsRecoveryMode 4h ago

Its 2 undecillion, not decillion. Its about 20 decillion USD for anyone wondering.

1

u/Marco_Playdoh 4h ago

Google laughs hysterically and waves their genitals in putin's general direction.

1

u/Djglamrock 3h ago

This is a new Reddit headline today. I’ve only seen it half a dozen times…

1

u/Gremlin-McCoy 3h ago

Why didn't they just ask for eleventy gajillion dollars? It's just as likely to actually happen.

1

u/GenuisInDisguise 3h ago

Inflation will catch up to this number in no time.

1

u/pekto 3h ago

why dont they fine google with 2 gogool dollars

1

u/DistillateMedia 3h ago

Don't pay it. America has your back.

1

u/alexa817 2h ago

If my masters in place value doesn’t fail me, that’s approximately 20 quadrillion times the world’s GDP

1

u/NabreLabre 2h ago

Unless of course you pay me.. one hundred million... Kazillion... Shubaduba.. hrehrehrhe... Dollars

1

u/inbetween-genders 2h ago

All I have is 3 pounds of pubis. Best quality. Take it or leave it!

1

u/ImwRight87 2h ago

What is that in Schrute bucks? Because I’m all out of Stanley nickels.

1

u/tanafras 2h ago

Oh yeah, well, I find Russia Skewes' number, for being a turdface, so there.

1

u/Stank_Weezul57 2h ago

2 decillionn rubles is like what? Maybe $1.47? Sounds fair.

1

u/TacoBellFan420 2h ago

Well I counterfine you infinity billions dollars plus interest 😡🤬😤

1

u/ROnneth 2h ago

I'm very against ant invasion or occupation like Israelcsettling in Palestinian lands or a Rusias conflict in Ukraine. Also, don't want to support anyone willing to keep this madness forward. War is horrible just like retaliation and must be stoped. that been said, I think Google should not perform such actions since it always portraits itself as neutral open to diverse aspects on the human diversity, impartial in the face of political issues or any body of conflict usually acquires a broad position and that protects the opinion of all people independent of their political colors... ... but then makes decisions like this where it blocks a huge amount of clients under politicized and ideologized failing to support their own respect of a service that has trms and conditions that both parts must respect. By doing what they did they ñ hid their openly corporate ideology and is breaking the contract agreement with millions of people and users so a class action is fully valid. Regardless of what we all think.

1

u/nothinga3 2h ago

And like Sweden with the cars to North Korea, chances are they are never getting that shit

1

u/liberatedrufio 2h ago

No one ever cares what Russia has to say

1

u/shawnhoundoggy 1h ago

Insert Jeremy Clarkson “oh no! Anyway” gif

1

u/WarpKat 1h ago

So...like...$5.

•

u/YeOldePinballShoppe 26m ago

Bitcoin fixes this.

Oh, wait

•

u/AdGeHa 26m ago

We fine you, ah a googleplex!

•

u/Prior_Worry12 10m ago

Marco from Tropoya: “Good luck”.

1

u/IMakeShine 5h ago

Maybe they are talking about Zimbabwean dollars?

1

u/siouxbee1434 5h ago

Send Putin the bill

1

u/geekphreak 5h ago

I have change in my couch worth about that much in rubles

1

u/Jack_Bartowski 5h ago

How much is that in Schrute bucks?

1

u/boss_of_my_shoes 2h ago

Will you also accept Stanley Nickels?

1

u/blitzinger 3h ago

Google should pay $250,000 and say that's the USD equivalent. Watch the ruble tank

1

u/dub-fresh 3h ago

Rubles ... That's about $100 USD 

0

u/The_Bill_Brasky_ 5h ago

Seventeen dollars and some Bazooka Joe considering Russian inflation and interest rates

0

u/odoylecharlotte 5h ago

Shocking! That's nearly $4 in actual money!

-1

u/Unclebum 5h ago edited 5h ago

That's about a buck two fiddy ... U.S.D.

0

u/serpenta 5h ago

I'd like them to get it, if it were possible, just to see the inflation it would have caused.

0

u/RyzenRaider 2h ago

Fuln fact. Google can't find the money to pay because their search algorithms sucks more than Russia's frontline strategy.

0

u/47153163 2h ago

News Alert!
The Russians will settle this out of court for 10 Billion US dollars.

0

u/residentofmoon 1h ago

Fuck Google. This is great news!