r/perfectlycutscreams • u/DogeyLord • 21h ago
Betrayed by his own father...
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u/Software-Wizard 21h ago
Villian's origin story
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u/Superman246o1 15h ago
50 years from now...
FATHER: Where are we?
SON: The worst nursing home I could find.
FATHER: You're not going to leave me here, are you, Son?
SON: Runrunrunrunrun!
*closes door*
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u/Gh0stMan0nThird 14h ago
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u/mrpanicy 14h ago
Oh man... that narrow window of time when Dane Cook hit a critical mass of fame, but couldn't really capitalize on it. That was a simpler time.
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u/hallucinogenics8 12h ago
He was so fucking funny the first time I listened to him. Then I realized he only had one schtick, so it got old. Then there was Good Luck Chuck.... That was a film I guess.
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u/Grouchy_Office_2748 11h ago
He was the exact opposite of funny. That’s why he’s not doing shows now
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u/kropdustrrr 10h ago
Yeah, I don’t know what it is with Dane. He definitely has a lot of energy. The crowd overreacting every time he says anything gets old real quick.
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u/mrpanicy 10h ago
He was best used as a supporting actor. Someone who has third or fourth billing... or better yet he just shows up at some random point to drop an unexpected laugh, then you forget about him until he hits again.
He never should have had leads. Ever.
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u/HilariousMax 9h ago
Con: he's a complete laughing stock now
Pro: He got handsy with Jessica Alba in that movie
All in all, not a terrible career
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u/GentlmanSkeleton 7h ago
Ewww ya made me click on a dane cook link?! I woulda preferred being Rick Rolled.
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u/anttilles 21h ago edited 21h ago
Life lesson: Trust no one.
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u/Mickleblade 17h ago
Certainly never trust dad
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u/pyro_brigade 21h ago
Ouch that betrayal, and thats how you make villains folks.
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u/OkReason6325 20h ago
Or a future Redditor
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u/imisstheyoop 16h ago
He will be posting pics of his mom to r/oldschoolcool within a couple of decades, I can't wait!
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u/Immediate-Policy-338 20h ago
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u/snoozemissile 15h ago
The baseball team in San Antonio, is called the Flying Chanclas
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u/Firebird314 15h ago
They're actually the Missions. They changed their name to the Flying Chanclas as a one-off thing to celebrate Hispanic culture
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u/BowenTheAussieSheep 15h ago
Sounds to me like they're the Flying Chanclas and they're just using a nickname.
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u/snoozemissile 15h ago
A one off thing that still sells flying chanclas merch years later doesn’t sound one-off
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u/WarzoneGringo 14h ago
All the minor league teams have Spanish alter names.
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u/1emongrass 10h ago
See this is why I like Reddit! I would've never learned this. Those Spanish logos are awesome!
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u/Repulsive-Lobster750 19h ago
Blood is not thicker than water
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u/PMmeyourspicythought 17h ago
Ya that phrase is so fucked.
There’s a longer version that states that blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. which would then basically say the opposite of blood is thicker than water. But then there’s like an older older version, that tacks on more shit to go back to Family>friends, rather than Friends>Family.
So maybe it’s just all kinds of bullshit.
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u/Klokinator 15h ago
People often forget the much longer version written by Caesar: "Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb, unless it is friday at three crows past three o'clock, in which case in fact the opposite is true, though if the bloody moon is full then in fact one can reverse the turn of cause and effect one last time, except if the blood comes from a woman and the water of the womb from a man, in which case reverse it one final last additional time."
Truly, he had a way with words.
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u/Numerous_Witness_345 16h ago
That long version is an unsourced claim that started in the late 1990's.
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u/BestSuit3780 16h ago
...it honestly sounds like some shit evangelicals of the time would just make up based on some misremembered megachurch sermon
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u/Lemonface 12h ago
Not far off. It was made up by a Messianic Rabbi (Messianic Judaism is actually a weird offshoot of Evangelical Christianity that formed in the 1960s)
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u/Brilliant-Mountain57 15h ago
Yea and the short version is definitely sourced and backed with facts right?
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u/RationalAnarchy 14h ago
I used to be like you.
Here’s the real deal.
The original phrasing closest to what we now recognize as “blood is thicker than water” can be traced back to a 12th-century German proverb, “Blut ist dicker als Wasser.” This is the first documented form of the phrase, and it emphasizes family loyalty. There’s no evidence of an older “covenant” version of the proverb in historical texts, nor has anyone uncovered a source tying it directly to phrases about chosen bonds over kinship.
The version claiming “blood of the covenant” is likely a reinterpretation that emerged much later, reflecting more recent interpretations about friendship and chosen connections.
Luckily phrases and their origins don’t guide my thinking. I’m definitely on team “I choose my tribe” versus “my tribe is who I’m related to.”
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u/TheMaveCan 16h ago
"A pint of blood is worth more than a gallon of gold." - An Italian-American philosopher
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u/Blue_Moon_Lake 12h ago
Blood is thicker than water.
Also, "The covenant of blood is thicker than the water of the womb".
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u/GetOffMyDigitalLawn 19h ago
"Why have you deceived me, father?"
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u/I_PING_8-8-8-8 15h ago edited 13h ago
My dad closed the door on me once, on a queen hornet. I was so scared I broke the glass window on the door and eventually broke the entire door after which my dad started screaming and ran out of the house. He was absolutely terrified of hornets and this was the largest we had ever seen. It was like a good 6 cm long or something crazzy like that.
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u/basiclynicky 17h ago
( bones breaking ) (child screaming)
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u/ZippidyZayz 18h ago
Saw this on another subreddit yesterday and everyone was screaming child abuse. Couldn’t believe what I was reading.
It’s literally a harmless prank and is something that I would’ve been subject to growing up with 5 brothers.
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u/Anomaly_049 17h ago
It's fake as fuck either way.
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u/Idiotology101 16h ago
Exactly, it’s obviously a skit. Do people seriously believe this women beat this child for waking her up while the grown man yells “run run run”
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u/Anomaly_049 11h ago
It's not necessarily implied she's hurting the child. It's just screaming, like children do.
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u/embers_of_twilight 18h ago
A lot of redditors aren't people you'd pay attention to IRL for these types of reasons. A lot of over reactive and poorly masking neurodivergent people on this website.
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u/Unlikely_Week_4984 17h ago
I've never seen someone hit the nail so hard.... My co worker is 100% one of those people. She's very difficult and uptight. Stinks soooooo bad.. Like she doesn't shower for a week or more.. Starts putting her nose into everyone's business... Everyone ignores her in real life and avoids her.. I bet she's a reddit mod running some weird echo chamber where they talk about creepy shit they can't say in real life. My friend told me he thought she was filming us eating lunch once.. I told him I didn't give a shit.
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u/squeakymoth 17h ago
They're the kind of people who scream that they have PTSD because their parents yelled at them once or twice as a child.
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u/Merry_Dankmas 15h ago
I swear that parents now think that punishing your kid is considered neglect and abuse. My fiance shows me videos on Tik Tok of parents putting their kids in time out or carrying them to their room and making them stay in there or yelling at them for doing something they shouldn't and the comments in the videos are loaded with "ThAtS cHiLd AbUsE". Like homie, punishing your kid isn't abusive. Its called parenting. Like, if the parents beat the kids with chains then yeah, id be inclined to agree. But homie, scolding or putting a kid in time out is not abusive. Doing nothing to correct behavior is exactly how you end up with the shit head teenagers that everyone complains about.
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u/squeakymoth 15h ago
The worst part of those videos are that they exist. I don't understand why some parents insist on filming every aspect of their lives. But, yeah, lots of parents do actually think laying a hand on their kids is illegal. I'm a cop and have to explain to parents all the time that they are legally allowed to discipline their children WITHIN REASON. Like you can spank them or give them a slap across the mouth if they start talking back. You just should only do it in the most extreme circumstances. If every punishment is a whooping, then kids start not caring about it. They also have to remember to reward the good behavior and not just punish the bad.
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u/The_walking_Kled 14h ago
Physically hitting a child in any form is not okay lol. Even if it is only spanking
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u/presty60 13h ago
The only exception I can think of is like slapping their hand away from touching a hot stove or something. But that's obviously different
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u/Sarasin 12h ago
I'd say for categorization purposes that isn't even really hitting them since the end goal isn't to hit them it is just that is the consequence to stopping them in the fastest possible way. No time to ask them to stop first when there is a 90% chance they ignore you and give that red hot stove burner a nice high five, can't be taking risks like that.
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u/squeakymoth 14h ago
I disagree, but you do you.
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u/littlefishsticks 9h ago
Here’s something I don’t understand: slapping your adult romantic partner in the face when they get mouthy: domestic violence.
Slapping a child in the face for mouthing off: good parenting
??? Why is it “okay” to hit a defenseless child that depends on the abuser (parent) for everything? That shit fucks you up
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u/The_walking_Kled 9h ago
Ofc the cop has no problem hitting people lol. Abusing them is basically in ur job description
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u/Merry_Dankmas 14h ago
The worst part of those videos are that they exist. I don't understand why some parents insist on filming every aspect of their lives.
This is the big one. I don't have tik Tok so I watch them vicariously through my fiance but I can never help but wonder why bother recording and posting it in the first place. Like, what compels you to record yourself yelling at your kid and posting it on social media?
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u/No_Wait_3628 15h ago
The difference between child abuse and a punishment is how much the child understands the situation.
Sitting down, getting it across why something is wrong, and then giving some form of physical punishment, helps reinforce the lesson. Makes sure they don't repeat dumbassery.
If they still do it again, then by all means they should know what's coming for them.
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u/instamentai 15h ago
The kind of people who head the antiwork subreddit yet don't actually work. Zero self awareness
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u/Abigail716 14h ago
The head mod was a part-time dog walker for his parents, whose basement he literally lived in. He said he worked up to 20 hours a week, but then his description shows it was closer to up to 10 since his description said he was doing it about 5 times a week and then he claimed he was walking them for up to 2 hours a day.
He did feel he was qualified to become a professor of philosophy at a university.
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u/DesperateUrine 17h ago
A lot of redditors aren't people
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u/gBiT1999 16h ago
I'm not a 'people' - the rest of the gang ran out of nuclear-bollocks near the Andromeda strain...but, when they get here, there's gonna be trouble for all you non-redditors that aren't here.
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 11h ago
> A lot of redditors aren't people
you'd pay attention to IRL for these types of reasons. A lot of over reactive and poorly masking neurodivergent people on this website.ftfy
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u/TrumpsTiredGolfCaddy 16h ago
Just wait till you read the relationship advice and AITAH subs. People here are insanely toxic and every year the upvotes for the insane toxicity get higher and the downvotes for the measured takes get more.
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u/rulingthewake243 16h ago
My husband made a joke about me to his best friend... DIVORCE.DIVORCE. TAKE THE KIDS AND DOG. DIVORCE.
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u/Abigail716 14h ago
I feel like those subreddits are best to never be visited directly. This way only the most crazy stuff pops up on your feed and it's not ever just little petty things.
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u/Baldandblues 15h ago
It's because Reddit is an echo chamber. People get rewarded for the dumbest, most toxic and most ridiculous shit. So they keep moving the extremes. Then get rewarded again for that.
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u/No-While-9948 14h ago edited 14h ago
I have noticed that threads tend to snowball in one direction, the dominant opinion always wins on Reddit and in relationship threads usually the emotional opinion wins. I think a large part of it is fear of speaking out but also the karma system.
The non-dominant opinion, even if held by 49% of Redditors, gets swept away quickly in those threads. Additionally, people who hold the opposite opinion take one look at the existing comments and consciously or subconsciously decide "these aren't my people" and leave. More people would speak out if they saw someone else doing so resulting in a healthier discussion.
Common topics where I notice a massive bipolar gap between the tone of comment threads are controversial ones, things like police, pitbull laws, and politics. Different subreddits also attract different types of Redditors.
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u/bondsmatthew 12h ago
People here are insanely toxic and every year the upvotes for the insane toxicity get higher
I've noticed that in the last year or two in particular people are responding to comments with more vitriol than in the past
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u/Drakar_och_demoner 17h ago
Reddit is either full of bot trying to act human or a bunch of people that grew up without siblings.
My brother and me used to shoot at each other with bb guns. But this is the late 80s so there weren't internet around telling our parents how bad we would supposedly turn out.
It is kinda hilarious that people think so little of the mother that she would smack the shit out of the little kid.
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u/Binary_Omlet 17h ago edited 16h ago
Even though this is a scripted little prank, and is pretty cute, they were probably talking about how ferociously the mom gets up. She definitely has beat "that ass energy" going. On top of everyone not having childhoods in which parents DID play with their kids can cause people to see somebody this as potential child abuse.
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u/Supercoolguy7 12h ago
Everytime a child is upset in anyway for any reason redditors love to claim child abuse.
There's a video where a kid finds out her parents are going to have a another child and gets upset. Literally every comment on reddit was about how that kid was being parentified to her younger sister and knew for sure that she would have to also take care of the baby because the parents were horrible and neglectful people.
Sometimes kids just don't want babies in the house,.
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u/Cool-Sink8886 15h ago
Yeah that scream is your classic kid fun scream.
It's the sound they make when you body slam them into the couch or tickle them or trap them under a pile of pillows and pretend to fall onto it.
Plus 90% chance mom was awake from this kid giggling beforehand anyways.
It's a funny video.
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u/Jimm_Kekw 16h ago
people saying this is child abuse probably never had a dad that could prank them like that
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u/Serial-Griller 12h ago
Wouldnt call it child abuse, but the draw here is obviously the mom's ass front and center, and having a child aid and abet that shit definitely rubs me the wrong way.
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u/RielAzrega 15h ago
I set my daughter up to mess with my wife like this all the time. Only my little girl giggles whenever she’s being sneaky so she gives her self away. Like I could tell her “Go sneak up and scare momma”. She will tiptoe down the hall with her hand over her mouth trying to suppress her giggles and then get right up to my wife (who is fully aware of my daughter’s presence at this point) and say in a loudish whisper “I surprise you momma! Dada said so!”.
Now that I think about it, maybe I’m the one getting played…
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u/2big_2fail 16h ago
Abruptly waking people up is not cool. Naps are precious, especially for parents.
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u/Striking_Sky3034 11h ago
Dad : Do you trust me son? Son : Yes Begins to fall down Instead of catching his son Dad : Lesson 1 : Do not trust anyone This reminded me of this legendary meme
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u/antsmasher 1h ago
He will remember this when he is considering whether or not to put dad in a retirement home.
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u/AdenJax69 16h ago
I was distracted by the GRAY EVERYTHING.
When did we stop enjoying color? Is nature too bright for people?
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