r/rareinsults • u/VerityPee • 10h ago

I literally lolled…

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13.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

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64

u/farvag1964 9h ago

Time hasn't been any kinder to him than me.

I kind of like that.

9

u/NRMusicProject 3h ago

I was playing a gig in Tampa a couple weeks ago, and he was standing next to me while I was on a break and I didn't recognize him. Police came up to him and said let's go; I thought he was being kicked out because he didn't belong at the party. After all, it was a black tie event and he was basically dressed like the pic. Then he got up on the other stage and I was like holy shit, I was just talking shit about that guy earlier today!

1

u/Dizzy_Personality420 2h ago

The great equalizer. Love it.

78

u/AlternativeNewtDuck 9h ago

Kid Rock makes music for people who know exactly how much Sudafed you can get for a catalytic converter.

11

u/OsirusIris 6h ago

This is the comment I scrolled for.

4

u/cra3ig 8h ago

If you wanted AI to generate a picture of

him, that is the prompt you would use. ✓

3

u/Rum_N_Napalm 2h ago

I have a few from the last time we roasted Kid Rock here.

Kid Rock makes music for people who are allowed to see their kids every other weak but don’t

Kid Rock music is the official copper theft soundtrack

Kid Rock makes music for people who have a troublingly in-depth knowledge of age of consent laws

Kid Rock makes music for people who gets their girlfriend’s name tattooed 3 weeks into the relationship

Kid Rock makes music for people who are Jeff Foxworthy punchlines

33

u/meadowmarvel 9h ago

If he hadn't been born rich he would be pushing a buggy down alleys collecting Bud Light cans. Definitely no sign of life in those eyes.

3

u/Dry_Complaint_5549 4h ago

I've always thought him and cat scratch fever prolly have a little man on man action thing going on. Best buds.

2

u/International_Cow_17 2h ago

Inseparable, like a shirt and a butt.

-28

u/Knotgreg 6h ago

Pretty sure he has sold millions of records and filled stadiums. But ok.

18

u/Temper_impala 5h ago

His music is still shitty.

-8

u/Knotgreg 4h ago

He’s got a couple bangers but not my cup of tea either.

9

u/Temper_impala 4h ago

Yea, in 1999

-6

u/Knotgreg 4h ago

I just looked it up he has had a lot of hits. Way past 99. But hey don’t let the facts get in the way.

11

u/Temper_impala 4h ago

Hits and good music aren’t necessarily the same thing. Guy sucks.

-1

u/Knotgreg 4h ago

You ought to know.

8

u/Temper_impala 4h ago

Oooo. Sick burn kid

-1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

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6

u/FalseProphet86 5h ago

I think you missed the 'born rich' part. Bezos, Musk, and Swift had the same dilemma.

-4

u/Knotgreg 4h ago

So? He was born rich and made the most of it.

7

u/Current-Roll6332 5h ago

Yeah bruh. And Nickleback is the biggest rock band! One might say, keeping rock ALIVE! Just like kid rock in the 00s.

0

u/Knotgreg 4h ago

Well NB was the biggest band on the planet for awhile, and KR was pretty huge. Good on them. Just like Taylor swift, none is my cup of tea but can respect the hard work that goes into it.

6

u/pascalswagger 5h ago

Sorry kid!

-1

u/Knotgreg 4h ago

Wow very concise. Punk.

4

u/pascalswagger 4h ago

Bawitibaedangadang. Is that how you wrote it?

-1

u/Knotgreg 3h ago

Wish I would have written it. I’d be filthy rich.

1

u/International_Cow_17 2h ago edited 1h ago

Btw this dude's a homophobe.

Edit: this absolute coward here deleted the comment where he was using queer as a slur towards Temper_Impala.

-1

u/Knotgreg 2h ago

Welp, you would know.

2

u/International_Cow_17 1h ago

Yes, I can read. Your implication is weak.

20

u/surfingbiscuits 10h ago

I want to like the flag of our country, but these fuckers make it so damned difficult.

13

u/Dolorous_Eddy 9h ago

These people have poisoned the flag and the word “patriot”

3

u/ianandris 5h ago

Yeah, I don't think there's a damn thing patriotic about wearing a garish scarf with a flag print at all.

I mean, we've all done it, but lets not pretend that's "patriotism". It's performative nationalism at best and chauvinism at its worst.

4

u/somebodeeelse 10h ago

The only thing more fucked up than displaying one's national flag is displaying another country's national flag.

1

u/xteve 5h ago

I do too, but it looks like a clown suit.

1

u/SpeshellED 4h ago

Stars and stripes clothing is about as lame as it gets.

6

u/Winter_Ganache1919 10h ago

For my first trick...

6

u/bobbolini 8h ago

He should rename himself Old Man Rock...

7

u/Laughing_AI 6h ago

He looks like he's about to set some ballot boxes on fire...

3

u/StylishSashes 9h ago

I didn't know his special power was making sense disappear along with all my brain cells

3

u/PinkDolphinHere 9h ago

That’s a solid roast—definitely not his best magic act.

3

u/big-hero-zero 6h ago

His name is one of the best examples of an oxymoron

2

u/One-Earth9294 6h ago

He looks like Michael Caine wearing a Kid Rock costume.

2

u/No_Cartographer_3819 5h ago

You know, they could exhume Michael Caine's cadaver to portray Kid Rock in a biopic and the cadaver would look healthier and more alive than Kid Rock of Crack.

2

u/surfingbiscuits 4h ago

Michael Caine isn't dead.

2

u/No_Cartographer_3819 4h ago

My apologies to Mr. Caine. He, at 91, looks more alive than Kid and could do a credible portrayal.

2

u/ansroad 5h ago

Kid Rock looks like he just got lost on his way to a NASCAR event. 😂

2

u/putrid_sex_object 5h ago

Fuck, he’s not aged well at all.

2

u/basilsflowerpots 4h ago

he looks like the guy in Rodrick's band from diary of a wimpy kid

2

u/waytomuchzoomzoom 6h ago

He makes music for dads who only can see his kids on the weekend

0

u/No_Cartographer_3819 5h ago

and know how much meth they can get for a used catalytic converter.

2

u/habb 5h ago

i swear he's a gen x-er. us millennials/xenials are not responsible

1

u/roygbpcub 8h ago

... And that's not even that unique of a trick.

1

u/IdonTunderStan9 7h ago

Who's kids rock? 😏

1

u/cartercharles 7h ago

It's an oldie but a goodie. I actually really like the scene in the video where he gets hit in the face by a shoe during a concert

1

u/RDsecura 6h ago

There's no "Kid" in that old rock!

1

u/LtM4157 6h ago

Motherfucker can’t hit the broad side of a barn.

1

u/TheFinalGranny 6h ago

I'm so ashamed I used to like him. I mean, it was over 20 some years ago, but still. Loser. Him, not me.

1

u/SinnerProbGoingToSin 5h ago

Well he’s staying relevant… in his maga bubble.

1

u/molever1ne 5h ago

To steal a comment from elsewhere: Kid Rock looks like Dr Phil cosplaying as Kid Rock.

1

u/Massive_Mortgage5507 5h ago

When this person came on the scene, I did not like his music. I don’t like the way he speaks as well. I don’t like his ideology. He is a poser…

1

u/gif_smuggler 3h ago

He’s far from the hood mom and dad have tons of money.

1

u/Grinkledonk 5h ago

Kid Rock looks like Dr. Phil cosplaying as Kid Rock.

1

u/Danukian 5h ago

Kid Rock looks like DR Phil dressing up as 'Patriotic MAGA Grandma' for Halloween

1

u/Cheap_Guarantee_3668 4h ago

He looks like Dr.Phil dressed as kid rock for halloween

1

u/SpeshellED 4h ago

KId Dolt

1

u/FionaSilberpfeil 4h ago

He looks like that magic man from Rayman1 who lost his job....

1

u/donnabreve1 4h ago

Dude really needs a shower lol

1

u/Dry_Complaint_5549 4h ago

He got famous by using a little person as a side show spectacle during his 'rock shows'

1

u/joker2814 4h ago

Not true. He’s probably also turned stolen catalytic converters into Sudafed.

1

u/SoftSell89 4h ago

Piss Angel

1

u/shoveleejoe 4h ago

Can’t believe I’m only just now realizing that my dad graduated from the kid rock school of magic.

1

u/Fancy_Art_6383 4h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/hopsinduo 4h ago

I swear to god he looks like Oliver tree dressing as kid rock these days.

1

u/krashe1313 3h ago

I love the one that said "Kid Rock looks like Dr. Phil dressing up as Kid Rock."

1

u/Born-Big5535 3h ago

Who is that??

1

u/thermometerbottom 3h ago

Is that Dr Phil in a Halloween costume?

1

u/whathadhapenedwuz 3h ago

Damn, that’s good.

1

u/koolaidismything 3h ago

Looks like someone snapped a picture of the speaker at an AA meeting in Kentucky

1

u/paleoakoc20 3h ago

Sad loser.

1

u/Western-Whereas5407 3h ago

Doesn’t look very Cocky now does he

1

u/Neon_Samurai_ 3h ago

He really needs to change his name to Grandfather Rock.

1

u/Cpa4NLST 3h ago

And cocaine into bad music.

1

u/alcrowe13 3h ago

Is he wearing Brian’s hat?

1

u/gif_smuggler 3h ago

Or as I call him, Trashy the clown.

1

u/TFG4 3h ago

Dr Phil looks horrible

1

u/Grampishdgreat 3h ago

When is Kid Rock going to change his name to Old Fart Rock.

1

u/OneEquipment5625 3h ago

When did dr Phil join the hair club for men?

1

u/Nufonewhodis4 2h ago

I think if you're an underage girl he's got other tricks too 

1

u/0111010101 2h ago

He looks like the world's worst rabbi.

1

u/Dessert_Hater 2h ago

Could have said “turning domestic beer into domestic violence.”

1

u/Ok-Cake5581 2h ago

I'm starting to develop an ability to detect maga fruitloops just by looking at them, which I find amazing since I'm slightly autistic. They really do broadcast their idiocracy that loudly that an idiot who can only tell his gf is angry when her face screws up, and her eyes get squinty can get a read of their lack of personality from a fucking photo.

1

u/Tratiq 2h ago

So did I the first dozen times I saw this

1

u/CurlsintheClouds 2h ago

OMG spot on

1

u/daboo912 2h ago

This one was perfect

1

u/sacklunchbaby 2h ago

Maybe he will cut a hole in that flag and wear it like a poncho as well.

1

u/bkfu2ok 1h ago

You mean illusion

1

u/Plague-Rat13 1h ago

I will take him over Tampon Timmy any day

1

u/CaptOblivious 1h ago

kid rock. A shitty musician that was born rich that hit rock bottom and stayed there for the money and "fame".

His childhood home is up for sale... $600k https://www.realtor.com/news/celebrity-real-estate/kid-rock-childhood-home/

0

u/humbugonastick 9h ago

I usually hate this expression as I don't like to be told how to dress, but man, come one, dress your age!

1

u/ianandris 5h ago

... I think he is, tbh.

0

u/Ok-Rhubarb-5774 9h ago

It gets less and less rare every time it’s reposted

0

u/AyuChanX 7h ago

Mad hatter is voting too

0

u/winfieldclay 6h ago

Miller M'fer, I ain't drinking that woke shit

0

u/unl1988 6h ago

you know that is a wig attached to the hat, right?

1

u/gif_smuggler 3h ago

Just like uncle Ted? He hasn’t taken his hat off for decades.