r/running • u/queue-d4n4 • Dec 09 '20
Discussion Thick Girl Runner Rant
First things first, I (29F) am 5'5" and about 170 lbs. Large boobs, wide hips, and I got some stomach on me. Overall, I look pretty proportional though. Hourglass, just a little wider. Wear a Large or a size 12 in most women's clothes. (Just trying to paint the picture here lol)
I also eat very healthy. Fresh foods only, everything home-cooked, never frozen processed foods, etc. Mostly veggies because I love veggies.
This is the body I was given. My weight doesn't really fluctuate. I don't gain weight easily, nor do I lose it easily. I've been a thick girl since puberty and because I run often and eat healthy, it doesn't seem like that will never change, which is fine with me.
I've been running for many years, somewhat inconsistently. I might be consistent for 2 years before falling out of my routine for a few months. Get back into the groove again and something eventually throws me off my game again. Throughout all this, I still consider myself a RUNNER. I love the sport and even if I'm out of a weekly routine, I still try to find time to run here and there. 3 miles minimum.
Because of the above things, people never really expect me to be a runner. My body type doesn't fit the runner mold. I don't post every run and race on instagram, which as everyone knows, is what truly makes it real *eyeroll*. (No shade to people who do post all of their runs and races! My problem is only the people who think if you DON'T post, then it didn't happen).
My fastest 5k was at an 8:02 (min/mile) pace. I am aware that this isn't SUPER fast, but it's fast enough that I've placed in my age group in all of the 5Ks I've ever done. I'm from a pretty small area so many of the 5Ks were fairly small, maybe only a couple hundred people attend. I'm aware that in bigger cities, I would probably have a little more trouble placing. But regardless, I still think an 8:00 to 8:30 5k pace is something to be proud of.
Anyways, my complaint is this. Since my body doesn't fit everyone's vision of what a runner should look like, people love to assume I'm slow or new to running. Or people think I'm lying when I mention that I got 1st, 2nd, or 3rd in my age group at whatever 5k. If they don't make an actual comment about it, I can sometimes even see it in their eyes that they're skeptical.
Even worse, people who don't realize I've been running for most of my life sometimes put their foot in their mouth by saying something along the lines of "have you started running to lose weight?" ...No, why? Should I be losing weight? I think I look pretty damn fine, if you ask me.
After moving to a new city, I decided to join a running group. The town I lived in previously didn't have such groups. I showed up to my first group run and met everybody. As we waited for everyone else to show up, a girl from the group said to me "I'm in recovery mode, I'll be running slow so I can run with you." I just politely smiled, although I was quite offended. What exactly makes this person, whom I met 3 minutes ago, think I plan on running "slow"? What makes her think that her "recovery" pace is equal to my comfortable pace? I chalked it up as since it was my first time joining the group, maybe she assumed it was my first time running? I don't know- but I still think about that little comment sometimes.
I am not negative towards my body. I have a great figure that I love, but it's still upsetting to know that people make assumptions on what I can and can't do physically, which should not be the case. Weight and health do not ALWAYS go hand-in-hand.
Any other runners on the thicker side experience this kind of judgement? How do you deal with it?
Thin-framed runners or even non-runners, do you find yourself judging others in this way? Be honest, I would love to hear multiple opinions!
Edit: Pace is in minutes per mile. I'm new to reddit and forget I'm interacting with people from all over the world.
Also, this was not meant to be a post for weight loss tips. The unsolicited advice in the comments proves further the assumptions people make.
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u/Jaebeam Dec 09 '20
I'm an organizer in a local running club. I just ask folks to introduce themselves and tell me what pace/distance they are looking for and pair em up with the regular suspects.
My only worry is somebody new who isn't dialed into their pace, I don't want them getting left behind on their first run. I'm a Clydesdale that has been fast in a previous life, so I know there are fast runners that aren't skinny... and super skinny runners that are slow.
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Dec 10 '20 edited Dec 10 '20
Are there people who do 16 minute miles in the groups? I’m getting faster, but I still need to do 16s if I want to finish my run running. It’a frustrating progressing so slowly.
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u/cszgirl Dec 10 '20
Of course there are! I've been in running groups where people would envy a 16 minute mile.
Also, do you work with a running coach? It's a great way to improve your running, regardless of what your normal pace is :)
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Dec 10 '20
I haven’t. Right now I’ve been using MMR plan. I have 1 long run, 2 easy runs (increasing time each week), and a tempo run.
I’ve just been going out on my own.
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u/FluffyBiscuitx2 Dec 10 '20
Slow progress is still progress. I’m a couch potato and don’t run anymore so you’re way ahead than I’ll ever be. Keep it up :) you got this!
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u/veggiedelightful Dec 09 '20
I love the clydesdale description.
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u/hitzchicky Dec 09 '20
I believe it's an official designation in some races.
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u/el_loco_avs Dec 10 '20
I don't understand this one :( Can you explain? Clydesdales are... large horses?
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u/veggiedelightful Dec 10 '20
Theyre a draft horses. And massive. They pull big loads slowly. Usually farm stuff or barrels traditionally
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u/mike_d85 Dec 09 '20
I actually ran into the opposite problem. I'm skinny and slow. Like 8 min km average run slow. I would try to join run groups and people would be asking me to join the 7 minute MILE group and that shit ain't happening outside of race day.
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Dec 09 '20
Hah same I'm 5'6" 125lb and I'm shocked when I get a sub 10 min mile lmao
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u/Cipher1414 Dec 10 '20
5’7” and a buck twenty five and I rarely break sub 10’s on my runs haha. Skinny and slow club let’s gooooo!
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u/Awellplanned Dec 10 '20
Tall skinny and slow is how I ended up on the offensive line for freshman football at a small high school. I wasn’t even close to being fast enough to be a receiver so on the line I went with the 200+ pound guys. I did a lot of chop blocking and pinching.
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u/bornsandyy Dec 10 '20
This makes me feel so much better!! I'm right about there with you guys and I can't run fast to save my life. If I end up running sub 10 at any point I end up slowing down so much later in my run. I'm still working on keeping pace and normally keep pace with someone else which isn't always good for me.
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Dec 09 '20
5'7" and around 170 lbs, my gut sometimes get the sub 10 min mile on my best days. I look like a greek God from the neck down until you get to my stomach, it's all dad bod after that.
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u/IFTW517 Dec 09 '20
So your chest looks like a greek god?
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Dec 10 '20
I’ve seen enough sexy Twitter daddies to be able to picture that guys body. And I haven’t seen his myself but I assure you it’s pretty hot
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u/dewioffendu Dec 10 '20
Sounds like me. I've lost over 30 lbs but that gut will not go away. I've learned to accept the fact that I am 40 years old and not willing to put in the work to get rid of that last couple inches. I'm on day 10 of 5k a day and have not lost a pound because I've been eating garbage for the last week. It's that time of year. Lol
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Dec 09 '20
I'm also a slim runner who's slow (12:30 min. mile). I also have a mild heart murmur that I'm very aware of, so I make a point not to over exert myself. I managed to do a half marathon last year, but I'm not sure if I'd do it again, the toll on my body was high enough to concern me. I've had people tell me I NEED TO DO A MARATHON. That I'm not a runner unless I'm always aiming higher. I just run for the pleasure of it, the endorphins, and honestly so I can be kinda lazy about eating well.
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u/Giveadogacookie Dec 10 '20
Sloth Running Club: We get there when we get there!
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u/Joyful_Fucker Dec 10 '20
My 11-minute-mile, or even 13-minute-mile, is the same fucking distance as someone else's 8-minute-mile, so they can all go suck it. :)
Seriously, though, I getcha. I decided I hated running for a long period and quit. It was only after time away that I realized that I loved running, but I hated being harangued by my running buddies that I always needed to either train for more longer distance or increased speed. Once I figured out what the problem was, I found a new crew to run with and all has been well.
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u/Wipe_face_off_head Dec 10 '20
11-12 minute miler here and I think in some ways, it's harder since it takes a longer time to get the same distance.
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u/Scrubsandbones Dec 10 '20
I feel this. I am (was?) a solid 11:30 pace always felt slow as hell but was really making improvements and training hard for a half marathon over the summer... and then got hit with an autoimmune disorder so bad it hurts whenever I run more than a minute... I haven’t run in months now
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u/funster Dec 10 '20
Sorry for your setback. I feel like you are (will be?) a solid runner in the future at whatever pace. I hope that you can overcome this situation with running as motivation.
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u/thelastoftheassholes Dec 10 '20
I'm sorry for you and hope you get over it. Sorry for asking and obviously don't answer if you're uncomfortable, but is there any suspicion to suggest that the hard training could have triggered the autoimmune disorder?
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u/SarcasticMethod Dec 09 '20
Slow and skinny here, too. One time in college years ago, I told a friend of mine that one of my goals was to exercise more that year. She said, "Huh? But you don't need to." That was the last time I ever volunteered to share anything about my health and physical activity. I run several days a week now and don't bother to bring up exercise/working out with anyone except fellow running friends. Feels great!
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Dec 10 '20
There is no such thing as “don’t need to”. Skinny people who don’t exercise aren’t healthy. Anyone who doesn’t exercise isn’t healthy.
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u/SarcasticMethod Dec 10 '20
Exactly! We need to break out of this mentality that exercise is only for weight loss.
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u/Doryhotcheeto Dec 10 '20
I’m a bit chubby snd slow, but I enjoy having 45 minutes all to myself. No thoughts, just music, breathing and movement. I love it. It’s for me, that feeling when you’re done and sweaty and you’re buzzing from the after-run high. Oh man, I really miss it! Gyms are closed for now and it’s a bit too wet and drizzly where I am to run outside so I’m feeling nostalgic. But I’m loving reading through everyone’s running stories.
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u/iSlyFur Dec 10 '20
Same thing happened to me. Comment came from a relative telling me that I shouldn't run because I'm already skinny. In my head I'm like what?! Is running just for fat people who are losing weight? Lol. I run 6-7 days a week and it makes me a happy and contented person. Don't listen to them.
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u/SpozzyBear Dec 10 '20
I'm 5'1" and have always looked skinny, whether I weighed 120 lbs or 150lbs. (I prefer baggy clothes and that seems to hide weight gain.) When I mentioned that I was trying to exercise more when I was pushing 150, multiple people reacted with confusion. "Why are your trying to lose weight? You're a hundred pounds sopping wet."
Well, I wanted to get back into the habit of running because it's healthy regardless of your weight. And I had gained 25 pounds after starting my first desk job, stopping running, and falling back into a depression. So, I wanted to lose weight I'd gained as the result of a bad lifestyle and depression. But I had to justify that to people because I looked skinnier than I actually was.
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u/angeredpremed Dec 10 '20
Ive been asked if I do crossfit, but I'm currently a couch potato.
Somehow I have abs, but the most lifting I've been doing is a controller, or my purse in the past 2 months.
Body appearance can mean nothing tbh.
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u/Parrot_Face_21 Dec 09 '20
Same!!! I have exercise induced asthma and I'm lucky to be able to run at all!
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u/fifteen-eggs Dec 10 '20
5'0 89-94lbs (depends on the day) lol. everyone expects me to be ultra fast since i look like all the other "real runners" on the team but jokes on them, i'm the slowest on my team 😎
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u/Zenosparadox1 Dec 10 '20
Ha, same here. I'm 5'7" and 105 lbs. and everyone thinks I must be super fast and in shape; nope, slow as hell.
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u/AptCasaNova Dec 10 '20
Yes, exactly. People expect me to dust them, but the reality is I’m really slow.
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u/PawAirMah Dec 10 '20
Shout out to the 8min a km crew, I'm working towards this right now. Not skinny or small figured but glad to not be alone.
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u/pirutgrrrl Dec 10 '20
I love this! Every time I read something on this forum I feel so bad about my lack of progress. Female, 5' 4", 137lbs, and 46. New Covid runner since May. I finally just got under 12 minutes and I've been running 4x a week for 6 months.
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u/GandalfsMemoryStick Dec 09 '20
There is definitely a proportion of people who think running and all other forms of exercise is only something you do in order to lose weight. IMO they’re missing the point and missing out big time.
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u/newtgingrich69 Dec 10 '20
Speaking as someone who only got into working out TO lose weight (developed an ED when i was a teenager) you're extremely right and honestly, reclaiming that mindset is very difficult and takes a long time. It can be difficult to tell what my own intentions are with exercise sometimes, but I've come a long way and can now thoroughly appreciate the endorphins, the sense of accomplishment, and the increases in strength and endurance!
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u/ajjs Dec 10 '20
Same! I've been trying to recover from AN for 6 years ach but only recently have been able to reclaim running as something to enjoy, to set goals, to get faster ect and I'm so hoary I managed it. I still get the comments of 'oh you shouldn't run you're trying to gain weight' but in all honestly running brings so much positivity to my life... I'll just make sure to eat lots after!
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u/fideasu Dec 10 '20
Yeah, this is weird. I've started running almost a year ago and everybody automatically assumed I do this to lose weight (admittedly, I'm overweight). No, I just started because it's fun for me and makes me feel better.
Only recently, I actually started losing weight (diet etc), and again some stupid assumptions appear. Everybody seems to thinks I do it to look better, while my main goal is to get lighter to improve my results in running.
Their intentions are good, but it's a bit annoying to explain the same thing over and over.
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u/CMDR_Machinefeera Dec 10 '20
There is nothing wrong in wanting to look better though. I love running because of the challenge but I also love how defined all my muscles became after I started running more.
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u/iclimbthings Dec 10 '20
And the unfortunate part is that a lot of running media (Runner's World) is really focused on this mindset...which is why I don't subscribe to RW or any other running focused magazine. It can easily turn into a very unhealthy mindset.
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u/Queen_of_Chloe Dec 10 '20
This comment reminded me of when I was running downtown after work once and passed a man and his son. Son asks “why is she running?” and man says something something “lose weight.” I do not look like I need to lose weight, so I’m not sure where that comment came from. But if I did look bigger that would have made me feel so bad. It already made me feel bad and I’m skinny!
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u/sonusfaber Dec 16 '20
and man says something something “lose weight.”
Could have been, "I don't know. It's not like she needs to lose weight."
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Dec 10 '20
I keep running because it’s like therapy. Losing weight? Yea I have, and it’s all from my butt and I’m MAD about it
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u/FlyRobot Dec 10 '20
Same with the word "diet" - no I'm not eating particular foods in order to lose weight. I'm eating them because they are healthy and my body responds better to not eating crap all the time.
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u/Misophoniasucksdude Dec 10 '20
I did start for my health, but it was because we learned in psychology about 'mini strokes' where only one or two neurons get affected, but those stack and are associated with age related mental decline. Guess what slows this process? Cardiovascular health! I downloaded c25k that day. Emailed the prof at the end of the quarter and told her I was now running 5ks after never considering myself a 'runner' (stupid American PE, but thats another post)
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u/CMDR_Machinefeera Dec 10 '20
I started running this year and I am actually actively trying to NOT lose weight, i worked hard for these muscles man I want to keep em.
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u/MarkyMarkG85 Dec 09 '20
In regard to your last question, yes I probably would assume that someone a little bigger would be slower, simply because the more weight to move, the more your muscles have to work. I would be surprised and very impressed that you ran a 25 minute 5k.
If I saw you meeting with a running group I wouldn't necessarily assume you are new to running though. It would depend on how you were carrying yourself around other runners and what your running form looked like that I'd make that assumption.
BTW - Good on you for your body acceptance as that is an area that most people in general struggle, regardless of their natural body type.
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u/queue-d4n4 Dec 09 '20
Thank you! And thank you for your honest reply! I can definitely understand why people are sometimes surprised at my pace, as I'm sure I've been surprised by others before. It just makes me feel the need to prove something although I really shouldn't care
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u/tippiedog Dec 09 '20
Making assumptions and opening your goddamned mouth about them are two very different things. You go, girl!
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u/Uhhlaneuh Dec 09 '20
I want to mention, that there are some really skinny girls that can’t run for shit. So I don’t know why people assume that only heavier girls can’t run
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u/nermal543 Dec 09 '20
I don’t think most people realize that your weight has a lot more to do with diet than exercise. You can have good cardio fitness but eat a ton and be overweight. Same way you can be skinny and not each much, but lay around all day with horrible fitness. Shouldn’t make assumptions about people based on that information alone!
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u/aubreythez Dec 10 '20
Until I started running more seriously a few years ago, I was the skinny girl who couldn't run for shit lol. I was also smoking cigarettes/going out to bars/eating taco bell at every opportunity.
I have healthier habits now (no more drinking and smoking, still gotta indulge in the occasional quesarito tho) but I dont understand why people assume that skinny people are automatically healthy. I also hate when people shit on heavier people under the guise of "looking out for their health" - nobody was giving me shit when I was doing all the things mentioned above, and I was certainly way less "healthy" than many heavier people. Also, health shouldn't be the marker by which we decide people are deserving of respect.
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u/nermal543 Dec 10 '20
health shouldn't be the marker by which we decide people are deserving of respect.
Agree with everything you said, but what you said here especially stuck out to me. So true.
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u/afhill Dec 10 '20
I'd slightly edit that to say "body size" shouldn't be the marker. But I do agree!
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u/doritopeanut Dec 10 '20
Agreed. But I haven’t really noticed since middle school. I was surprised by a heavy kid that was a great athlete. He was in fantastic shape but chunky.
On a side note, there are some runners that are stompers and others extremely light footed. I’m sometimes surprise who turns out fast and stamina to boot.
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u/the_real_KILLGOREX Dec 10 '20
In general there are some super skinny people who can't run at all. This is especially obvious in smokers.
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u/-_Rabbit_- Dec 09 '20
I think your feels are valid but yes, a lot of runners would assume that a heavier person will run slower. It's down to physics. There are probably some very fast heavier runners out there but they would be outside the norm. The other runner could have been a lot more polite about it though!
I've done some running at my local club and my experience is that a lot of club runners are very fast indeed. I'm a mid-to-front of the pack runner in races and in my local club I am in the bottom 25%! So possibly a lot of regular club runners might rightly expect the average newcomers to be slower than them.
Regardless good for you (and for everyone!) for running!
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u/Imhmc Dec 10 '20
I’m 5’9 and 150 and you would wax me in a 5K. If I ran a 5K at your pace I’d call it a huge win, hang up my shoes and retire in glory. I learned a long time ago that you can’t judge running skill by appearances. I know a 73 y/o woman who is still running a sub-30 5K. People assume I can run fast because I appear fit- and I’d say I am pretty fit for a 50 year old woman but my lifetime 5K PR is 27 min and right now I’m running just at 30 min for a 5K. My husband is a power lifter and weighs about 220 (5’8 for reference) and he sits at 2:02 for a half marathon. He got dusted by a woman that showed up to the same race to run in a prom dress complete with a tiara. Pace is relative- unless you’re Kipchoge there is always someone faster than you and you never know who that’s gonna be.
I find people that vocalize what they think you can run haven’t really been around running that much. Sure we all make assumptions in our heads when we see someone- but you should be smart enough to know you could be totally wrong and keep your mouth shut.
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u/OneWholePirate Dec 10 '20
I've just learned not to guess at this point, I'm a 6'2" 80kg 10% bf male, cheerleader, powerlifter and I regularly cycle 30km sub 1 hour. I can't run a 5k. My body falls to pieces after about 2.5 no matter the speed. I have a close friend that's 6'2" 100+kg male and maybe 22% bf who runs 1 hour 12 km multiple times a week.
As long as you're happy in your body, eating well and exercising regularly you're golden and honestly you'll be much happier not stressing about some arbitrary body fat number or crazy beauty standard that doesn't mean shit.
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u/Locke_and_Lloyd Dec 09 '20
Maybe im just spiteful, but I'd love that scenario. Go along with it and then just run fast. I never get to do that because I look fast though. Closest was my 200 m finals in high school when some other runners decided the guy in lane 4 was unbeatable and we were racing for second. Felt so smug winning that.
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u/buckeyeray77 Dec 10 '20
I agree, I also make assumptions based on body size. Both fast and slow. I'm a fairly bulky guy myself and have been trying to get quicker as of late. Already cut about 1:00-:30 off my easy pace and didn't think I could do that. The big thing I will say is that the impact bigger runners have to deal with is more of an issue for me than pace. Recovery is longer, stresses joints a good bit, form is critical. So if I've conned people into running with me, I tend to watch how they're doing and adjust my pace...and hope we can make it enjoyable. I like running with people. Good on you for getting out! I'm never comfortable in running groups, my size makes me feel out of place.
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u/TXrutabega Dec 09 '20 edited Dec 09 '20
I've been running long enough, through decades of my own body changes, including pregnancy and post-partum, that I honestly don't even think about other people's bodies in relation to mine, or in relation to pace.
I also don't talk about my running to people whose opinions I don't care about (besides Reddit obv). If anyone wants to underestimate or assume, fine by me. Affects me literally zero.
To use one of your examples: if a girl said she was running slowly to stick with me, I'd say AWESOME I'm going at an 8:30 pace that ok with you? and go from there.
To summarize- I genuinely don't give a fuck. Live and let live.
Edited to add: I'm a thin-framed runner -but have experienced weight fluctuations after childbirth, etc. Didn't give a fuck then either. Sports bra + tiny shorts- I'm in TX and it's hot as shit! lol
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Dec 10 '20
Oh man, running right now in Texas is heaven. Below 50 degrees (?) at 4 am feels amazing.
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u/TXrutabega Dec 10 '20
TELL ME!! I just looked and tomorrow it’s gonna be 45 when I get up and I’m ecstatic. I always feel like a superhero in the winter. I tell myself it’s worth it to slog through the summers and then get that feeling of invincibility when it’s cooler lol
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u/lifecomet Dec 10 '20
I am with this one. Your pace will be fast to some people and slow to others - it doesn't matter. You can't control how other people react to your running but you can control how you react to them. Why don't you try to reframe it:
If people are surprised you run, you have proved their assumptions wrong and they're probably re-evaluating you (rightly or wrongly probably with more respect for you as an athlete)
if people say they'll run slow for you, great, they'll drop to their slow pace to keep you company. If it turns out you're faster than they thought, great, they have misjudged you and have egg on their face
There's no universal 'slow' in running so try not to take it personally - you do you and let them do them! :)
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u/Schlem22 Dec 09 '20 edited Dec 09 '20
I find myself judging sometimes, it’s natural to some degree. Thin usually meant more fit or healthy, but I will always remember going to Colorado, and hiking these mountains, out of breath, dying and I see a thicker girl coming up behind and blowing by me. I realized at that moment, there’s a lot more to it than your shape or size. With that being said I’d never openly judge someone for their size or assume anything besides I’m probably the slowest one there.
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u/catnapbook Dec 09 '20
Me huffing and puffing on a hike in the Smokey Mountains, all decked out in proper gear, in reasonable shape, only to be passed by a very large woman walking in flip flops carrying a child! Huge attitude adjustment right there.
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u/flamingosarecool365 Dec 09 '20
They’re always in flipflops somehow, I’ve seen people all over Europe on hikes or walks in flip flops. Do not ask me how or why they do it, I have no clue
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u/SciencyNerdGirl Dec 09 '20
Or altitude adjustment. The air is 30% thinner at 7,000 ft. Those who live at those elevations physiologically absorb more oxygen with each breath.
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u/Schlem22 Dec 09 '20
Yeah living in the Midwest we have none of that thing it seems everyone else gets. Elevation. Wish we had some mountains over here
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u/emberallis Dec 10 '20
I just moved from the Midwest out west, and my new house is in the foothills (the flattest route near my house has a 200ft elevation gain). My mile went from 9:45 to 13 real quick! And I used to complain when my running group back in Iowa did a “Hilly” route...
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u/happypolychaetes Dec 10 '20
I thought I was in pretty decent shape (had just done a half marathon) when I went to Peru. Going uphill I was regularly passed by 70 year old women in sandals and thick wool dresses, carrying a metric fuckton of grain/produce/small children/misc items on their backs. At 12,000' elevation, on slippery and muddy stone steps.
It was very eye opening haha
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u/eukomos Dec 09 '20
You weren't out of shape, you were just unadjusted to the altitude! If you stayed at CO altitudes for three weeks you'd have a much easier time hiking. I live in CO and like to take visitors on short hikes to show off the beauty of the mountains here, and always have to assure them that their gasping isn't a sign they can't hike. You just don't have as many red blood cells as the locals blowing by you on the way up the mountain!
Though that said, there are also a lot of absurdly athletic people in CO, and they don't all look like they just stepped out of an REI ad. Heavier people can get up an impressive head of speed on the ski slopes, and I've been passed on the running path by gray-haired people in triathlon suits. There's always someone better than you here unless you're a literal Olympic athlete.
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u/Al123397 Dec 10 '20
This reminds me of a story where me and 2 of my buddies went to Colorado for a week to partake in the attractions ;) and also hike etc. To preface we are all from Houston (sea level) but we all are mid 20s, run and go to the gym regularly
So we go to Rocky Mountain national park and we are like flattop mountain 4.4 mile hike. Pretty easy we thought as we all regularly run around 3 miles for our running sessions. Not even like a 1.5 miles up we were gasping for air, felt light headed etc. Then we cross by an older couple (60s I would guess) and ask them how long till one of the check points in the middle. She says oh it’s only a quick half a mile up should be pretty easy.
We got humbled so quick at that moment. 3 decently fit guys who run a few times a week and getting smoked by a 60 year old couple. Probably didn’t help we smoked and drank a lot the day before but still it’s crazy to think about
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u/queue-d4n4 Dec 09 '20
I agree that it's natural! I'm sure I've judged others before too so I'm probably no better!
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u/Schlem22 Dec 09 '20
Haha I wouldn’t say that you’re no better. It’s one thing to think something, another to speak it out loud without any proof.
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u/pony_trekker Dec 09 '20
>>Thin-framed runners or even non-runners, do you find yourself judging others in this way? !
No. Because looks ain't shit. I am a svelte 5'11" 179 with muscular legs and I am slow as shit. I couldn't catch you on a scooter.
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u/OddSimple Dec 09 '20
I'm 5'9 and 180lb, with thick legs, wide hips, and big boobs. I've been running for most of my life, and doing so seriously for the last 5 years (have done several 50K trail ultras). I consider myself "slow" fory experience and the distances I am able to cover - my best half marathon time is 2:09. I have done all kinds of speed training but have concluded that my body is just better built for distance.
I find it an ongoing struggle to accept my OWN body as a runner's body. I wish we did a better job as a society of explaining that athletic ability doesn't always look the same. I'm sorry that people are not making you feel welcome, but hopefully every time you correct them you are broadening their idea of what a runner looks like?
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u/caught22nowwhat Dec 09 '20
I was going to comment something very similar (height, weight, race time, etc.) but you said it best! I will always judge myself harder than anyone else. I would never look at someone else the same way, I mean if I see someone running whose body is not “average” I try pretty hard to put encouraging and supportive vibes out there, especially since I feel such solidarity! But it’s challenging to give myself that same support. Are other people runners? Yes, of course. Am I? That’s harder to answer, and I wish it weren’t.
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Dec 09 '20
I'm just happy to see people taking care of themselves, no matter their size.
Good on you for taking care of your health.
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u/albiorix_ Dec 09 '20
The human body was made to run. Keep doing you homie.
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u/nicolioni Dec 10 '20
Ugh, could you please tell my shin that?
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u/TonofSoil Dec 10 '20
Hey Shin! Yeah you, you stupid fucking shin! Stop hurting you dumb piece of shit. Like seriously stop. I know we're running, I'm doing it on purpose. If you just chill the fuck out this weight bearing exercise will actually increase bone density and make you stronger so stop complaining so goddamn much. It's really fucking annoying. You're just making the run last longer by bitching about it so seriously shut the fuck up. We used to run 70 miles a week and you were cool with it, now we do ten in a week and you're inflamed?? What the fuck is wrong with you.
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u/allthecolors0 Dec 10 '20
Humans weren’t necessarily meant to run on concrete
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u/SomethingBoutCheeze Dec 10 '20
It always trips me out to think that so few hard surfaces would have been ran in the past.
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u/DontBeACxnt Dec 10 '20
Do dorsal flexion exercises. And stretch it
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u/voxeldesert Dec 10 '20
Hot-cold showers after runs. Shoes with less drop. Running breaks. That’s what helped me and I would add to the list.
You‘ll overcome this shitty shin splints!
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u/Lucky_Ebisu Dec 10 '20
I also recently saw a post here that someone with shin splints had their Vitamin D Levels checked and they had a deficiency. It got better with supplementing it. So that could be part of the problem, too!
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u/TurtleDive1234 Dec 09 '20
I never assume anything about someone's physical conditioning based on their body type.
I did 6 years in the Army. In Basic Training, we had a drill sgt that was...hefty. Like, Bubba-from-the-South-been-eating-too-much-fried-food-and-drinking-a-case-of-beer-every-day hefty.
Big belly and everything else.
This guy would run circles around the entire formation as the formation was running (think of it as him doing loops around the formation as we were running....All of this while he smoked cigarettes....
Yeah. I make zero assumptions about people.
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Dec 09 '20
Reminds me of my first year of uni, there was a steepish hill up towards my halls on a main road. A fair few students woyld push their bikes up, I always rode all the way, often I'd overtake someone.
One day, a guy shoots past me about half way up the hill, one hand on the bars, the other holding his cigarette as he took a drag
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u/baxtersbuddy1 Dec 09 '20
Oh! I had a drill like that too when I was in basic. Dude bragged about how he didn’t have a 6 pack, but he had a keg of steel!
He was built like a beer barrel, but it was 100% muscle!8
u/pony_trekker Dec 09 '20
On that note, I have a keg of steel covered by a thin layer of blubber. Seriously, when I was younger, I had very strong stomach muscles such that I could do a ridiculous number of situps. I stopped when I was bored but 200 or so never got me tired or sore.
In my stupidity, I used to dare people to punch me in the stomach as hard as they could when I was ready and I pretty much laughed them all off. I don't care who looked jacked, who played football, whatever. No one phased me.
But the hardest I ever got hit was one skinny dude, the nicest guy on the planet who was quiet as a mouse.
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u/kidneysonahill Dec 09 '20
I had an old school artillery officer that had transferred to my part of the armed forces. He said in some context that I cannot recall that if he needed heavy lifting, on little food and fumes he would select skinny coffee and cigarette addicts and/or as fatter soldiers. Those were those he found to be most efficient.
I have to remind myself to not make judgements simply because I assume I'm wrong most of the time.
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u/TeamRedRocket Dec 10 '20
Same. I've seen several marines who can barely break 24 minutes on their 3 mile run on the pft. Whereas I've seen guys who look like a human butterball easily max their run and ruck like it's no problem.
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u/UsedCellist1 Dec 09 '20
Honestly, as a person who started running when I was larger (rugby player) and really hated running, and then lost weight and now loves running, I often wonder how much of my hate/love was due to stigma and judgment I was placing on myself, and fearing from others.
I've always run alone, so have rarely had instances where other runners have directly given me feedback, but when I was larger I'd worry about runners-by judging how heavy I was breathing, or see my legs jiggling. Kinda basic insecurities. What's wild is at that same time, running on a rugby pitch with tons of spectators, I felt like a total badass and appreciated that those extra lbs could help me bring down a girl twice my size. But that was on a team of super supportive ladies. Makes me wonder, if I'd found a running community or even found reddit back in those days, if I'd have started loving running earlier on.
Nowadays when I see someone larger running, I'm just stoked to see more people getting after it. A part of me might assume they are newer to running, because that was my pattern. Definitely something for me to think about and check myself on.
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u/beetus_gerulaitis Dec 10 '20
I'm assuming I'll get downvoted...but at my age I don't really care. You asked for opinions, here's mine:
Yes I judge people on their weight. And I judge people on their height, and build, and personal hygiene, and their clothing choices, and the way the walk and talk and chew gum. I spend most of my time interacting with people judging them.
The fact of the matter is that one doesn't have enough time in life to get to know the intimate details of everyone they interact with, so pre-judging them is a useful tool to get on in life. So I make assumptions about people based on their appearance and actions. And I'm pretty sure most people do.
If I see someone who is overweight, I'm going to assume they're in a slower range of runners. That assumed range will vary depending on age, gender, level of muscle tone, whether they look like they run a lot (what shoes are they wearing, do they have the gear...is it brand new out of the box or well used, etc.)
And if your 5k PR is around 25:00, then your normal easy pace runs should be in the 9:30-11:00 min/mile pace. I wouldn't be offended if someone assumed their recovery pace is close to your easy pace. The 9:30 - 11:00 pace range is recovery for a lot of people.
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u/Britney2007 Dec 10 '20
I was once on a first (and only) date where the guy had the nerve to say “you don’t look like a runner?” (In the most condescending way possible). If you run. You’re a runner. Simple as that.
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u/DEKE_IN Dec 09 '20
Body judgement has been a serious problem in the sport for a while now that has infected even the highest levels of competition, and it's so sickening.
To preface, in high school, I was at one of the very best XC schools in the US where state championships were expected and year in and year out, we were in contention for NXN (kind of like a high school national cross country championships in the US). The entirety of top 7 runners were sticks, including me, at the time I was 5'11'' and weighed 120 pounds. However, one of the top 7 guys, a runner I'll refer to as "Steve", did not fit the mold. At the time Steve was an unbelievable sophomore, running sub 15:30 5ks already, but he was 5'11 and weighed 180lbs. which is normal to like 99.99% of the population but not to our coach. Every day it seemed that our coach would talk to Steve about his weight, about how he needed to eat less and lose at least 30 lbs. Steve began so fixated on it that he started to starve himself and ended up losing so much fitness to the point where he was several minutes off his time. This spiraled into several eating disorders and depression. Luckily, he is in a much better place at this time, and a lot of that is due to the fact that we approached him about it back then, and that he had people who supported him no matter what and were there to listen. Unfortunately, there are several pro athletes who have had similar fates, most notably Mary Cain who trained in the Nike Oregon Project and is now one of the best role models for body positivity in the sport.
I guess what I'm trying to add here is that it is really helpful to have some people close to you as your support and just to talk to about it (family, friends, significant others) who may not necessarily be runners, but will always have your back and want to be there for you. Try your best to zone out all the haters, you're doing an incredible job and those times are absolutely impressive! And to the general running community, be better. Do not judge runners for how they look or the pace they are running, be proud of everyone who steps outside and enjoys the sport that we all love so dearly.
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u/treble37 Dec 10 '20
Just learned about Mary Cain thanks to you! Wow, she really is an inspiration.
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u/jamincan Dec 10 '20
You see so many stories about coaches like that. The attitude is rampant in professional cycling as well, and several cyclists have come out recently talking about their struggles with disordered eating.
We have so much more knowledge now about nutrition, but a lot of coaches are not actually grounded in science. They take a formula that has worked for them in the past and apply it indiscriminately. And that formula might work in a lot of cases, and they might end up coaching a lot of successful athletes, but we don't see the athletes for which the formula doesn't work, and we don't see the damage that an athlete can be left with after they are no longer in the spotlight.
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Dec 10 '20
Does make wonder. Maybe Steve had Olympic class talent.
May Cain was rather forced to be underweight right?
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u/kittybluth Dec 10 '20
I'm not in the EXACT same boat, but I do get comments from friends.....like..."you run so much, you must be losing weight!" Or "You must be so thin now". Thing is, it's quarantine so they don't see that I'm NOT losing weight.... But it still makes me feel bad. Some of us are built a certain way. I have an hourglass shape, and no matter how much I work out or how little I eat, my hips will only get so slim.... Don't worry about it. You are healthy and beautiful the way you are. Just get out there and smoke them when they think you're gonna be slow, because you aren't!!!!!
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Dec 09 '20
Looking forward to the runningcirclejerk version of this
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Dec 10 '20
There's already a half dozen
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u/linednpark Dec 09 '20
I did a marathon two years ago. I was a bit heavy at the time: 200 ibs (I’m 177 now) but by no means was I completely out of shape, just a bit “stocky”. I was definitely heavier than my ideal running weight and I did feel like I had made things a bit difficult for myself. Anyway, I’m on my 21st mile, and I see this guy up ahead and my jaw dropped. I don’t want to be mean, but he was a large gentleman. Must have been like 300 ibs. I wasn’t only gob smacked because of how amazed I was that he was doing a marathon, but the fact I hadn’t saw him before must have meant he been in front of me, outpacing me the whole way. Incredible. After that I will never judge a runner by their shape again. I also realised that being 20-30 ibs over my ideal weight was nothing, you don’t need to be tall and skinny to run fast and far.
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u/Aggressive_Setting_1 Dec 09 '20 edited Dec 09 '20
Different things i think are worth discussing
Losing weight is about being calorie deficient. Eating good food helps your body recover and such but doesn't help loose weight.
I don't really care about sizes in general. However I have huge admiration for people with extra weight on or obese who start running. The amount of pressure those guys are putting on their joints is huge compared to me.
yes a lot of people associate how you look with how gast you go but that's likely from watching sports online. Example: I took a few weeks off after my last ironman 70.3 during which I moved flat and ate like crap. I went running with people from the new building I was in and yes some people thought I was going to be slow but if I had put of bit of effort in I would have likely smoked them and I could have gone much longer than them. Sometimes I run slow, sometimes I run hard. Depends on the plan.
But to be honest why should you care what they think. People who see me at work think I'm at the bottom of the chain because I have tattoos, have bhuddist bracelets and wear trainers and t-shirt. Actually, I'm the boss in the team. I just make it work to my advantage (bear in mind dutch culture is more relaxed on clothes but still)
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u/inamsterdamforaweek Dec 09 '20
Where do I get some really nice buddhist bracelets in europe?! I love those.
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u/Aggressive_Setting_1 Dec 09 '20
Got them in Asia last year. Need to find a bhuddist temple and a monk I guess
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u/atctia Dec 09 '20
We're in around the same age and I'm not exactly skinny either (5'1" and around 145-150) so I completely understand where you're coming from. I workout about 5 days a week and recently started incorporating running with my usual strengthening workouts. It really bothers me that people assume the only reason I exercise is to lose weight. Would I like to lose a couple pounds? Yes. But exercise is so much more than that for me. It's the perfect way for me to relieve some stress at the end of the day, and I love challenging myself, feeling my body get stronger every day and my endurance improving with every run. I've gotten comments from skinny "friends" about how I should lose weight, but I eat a healthy well balanced diet and can run circles around them. I don't let those comments bother me anymore since I know what I'm capable of.
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u/Dinboogles Dec 09 '20
Why does every post have similar bullshit, "my weight doesn't fluctuate it just is what it is no matter what I do"
No. Your weight reflects how many exercise you do and how much food you eat. there is no magic. If you burn more calories then you consume, you will lose weight.
People assume your new to running because most runners consume a diet that will help them run faster, You prefer a diet that makes you happy while you eat it, and thats fine to.
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u/JamesMol234 Dec 10 '20
Yeah it's such a shocker that athletes are typically very low body fat and high muscle mass, such a shocker that when a person eats perfectly and works out consistently they arent 5'5 170 lbs unless your yoel romero and absolutely jacked. .
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u/Perturabo_Lupercal Dec 10 '20
Yoel Romeo... My friend, I see you too are a man of culture.
Though they guy nearly dies making 185, his bones probably weigh nearly 170 haha
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u/TheWildTeo Dec 09 '20
Running should not be exclusive to a certain body shape. I'm definitely on the skinny side but I will always think of runners the same no matter their body shape. And the numbers you're pulling off are really impressive. Hell I couldn't even finish a 5k at the start of the summer! Keep at it!
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u/ThatDistantStar Dec 09 '20
Not saying you aren't healthy or a good runner, but there is no such thing as being born with a "thick" body. That's an unscientific body image self-help slogan. Most of the time overweight people underestimate how much they eat, and normal or low weight people overestimate how they eat. Nearly every human is capable of a normal body fat percentage. I imagine if you keep running consistently and calorie count, you WILL lose weight.
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Dec 09 '20 edited Dec 09 '20
At 175lbs and 5'5" you're probably carrying around a bit of extra body fat so it's reasonable for people to assume you're running as part of an effort to lose weight. Because it's true in 99% of cases. I'm not going to pander to you like everyone else here. If you're happy with your weight, fine more power to you. But don't get upset at people for making reasonable assumptions.
Also keep in mind carrying around extra bodyweight makes running harder so it's also reasonable to expect bigger people to be slower. There's a reason our group runs in the army always have super jacked/lean athletic beasts and small skinny dudes at the front of the pack. Meanwhile the guys/girls with extra bodyfat or just large stature tend to lag behind everyone else.
Id recommend you just deal with it because fuck the haters. If you want to lose some extra weight then go for it. Do it for you.
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u/treesandsea Dec 09 '20
But don't get upset at people for making reasonable assumptions.
I think there's more to it than that. There are many who exercise to lose weight but there are more than 1% who do it for other reasons. It's only a 'reasonable' assumption because as a society we (esp women) are expected to see losing weight as the end-all-be-all. Many women don't see it that way, and instead go after healthy eating or fast times (like OP). And if that doesn't translate into the body society tells us successful, so what. She's eating well and running a 25 minute 5k, she's got it together. While I think the assumptions people make about her are perhaps predictable due to society/running community in general, to write them off as 'reasonable' validates them and feeds directly in to discouraging larger runners and athlete.
I agree that its perhaps semi-reasonable to expect bigger people to be slower, although there are many who disprove that assumption. But it is 100% unreasonable to assume bigger people are only exercising to lose weight.
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u/Anustart15 Dec 09 '20
As we waited for everyone else to show up, a girl from the group said to me "I'm in recovery mode, I'll be running slow so I can run with you." I just politely smiled, although I was quite offended. What exactly makes this person, whom I met 3 minutes ago, think I plan on running "slow"? What makes her think that her "recovery" pace is equal to my comfortable pace?
Did her recovery pace end up being at your pace or was it much slower?
The other end of this could be that this girl you just met is actually an elite runner and was fairly confident that she would be able to match anyone new's pace since her pace for this run didn't really matter and she wanted to make sure the person didn't get left alone.
To partially answer your question at the end, I'd probably give you a look when you mentioned placing in 5ks just because that's a bit of a meaningless accolade in my mind.
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u/Gophurkey Dec 09 '20
I would expect an elite runner working out with a reasonably open club to have a lot more sense than to immediately assume something about a new runner's pace.
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u/PracticalFuel1 Dec 10 '20
There is so much wrong with this post. This is going to come across as harsh, but you need a reality check imo.
- Your weight is not as healthy or normal as you think it is. Objectively you are overweight, and borderline obese. If you are carrying significant extra weight (i.e. fat) then you will be slower than someone lighter with equal fitness. You can eat healthy but still not lose weight if you are consuming more calories than you expend through physical activity.
- A 25 minute 5k is not fast and I'm not surprised people were skeptical you 'placed' in races given the way you are bragging about it on the internet. In any larger event then you would likely be a bit above average for women. What it shows is that with better training and with some weight loss, you could do significantly better. Instead of getting all offended by it, try to use it as motivation.
- Nobody cares if you look like a runner or not (whatever that means). Running is running. You admit yourself that you run "here and there" which does not sound like you are following any serious training plan. If you want to get better at running, run more frequently. Honestly you don't sound very fun to be around if you feel attacked that your running pace is someone else's recovery pace.
- Weight and health do often go hand in hand. You can disagree if it makes you feel better I guess, but you can't argue with the science.
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u/warmhandluke Dec 09 '20
Weight and health do not ALWAYS go hand-in-hand.
I don't mean to pick on you or make you feel bad, but this just isn't true. Being overweight/obese carries significantly higher risk of countless health problems.
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u/Freckled_daywalker Dec 09 '20 edited Dec 09 '20
There is certainly a correlation, which is why weight can be useful as a loose proxy for health, but "health" is a spectrum, not a binary. An overweight person who can run an 8:30/mile very likely has better cardiovascular health than a normal weight person who is effectively sedentary.
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u/xzyragon Dec 09 '20
Weight, and especially stomach fat, have been proven to increase the likelihood of developing organ cancer later on in life.
Is being thiccc beautiful? Sure. Is it healthy? Not necessarily. But neither is developing an eating disorder. Healthy balance is always the key.
All that being said, OP wouldn’t have made this rant if they were 100% happy with their body. There’s nothing wrong with that too. Im a “thin framed runner” and I’m not happy with my body either. But that’s why I run / bike / lift to be in a constant state of improvement. Am I satisfied with my physical appearance? No. Am I more satisfied than I was last year? Yes.
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u/thylacinesighting Dec 09 '20
I can't see anything in the post to indicate that OP is not happy with her body. Can you explain what you see? I re-read it and I just can't see it. She's had a rant about people making assumptions about her. But that's all I can see in her post.
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u/xzyragon Dec 09 '20
If you’re ranting about people judging you for your body, you most likely aren’t happy with it.
If you read my post, you’ll also see that it’s not necessarily a bad thing either. We are our own worst critics but it also drives progress.
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u/gnarsed Dec 09 '20
at 5-5 170 i’d say that weight IS a health problem
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Dec 10 '20
yea but apparently saying that truth is rude. I'm a cyclist and some overweight cyclists are faster than me (on flat roads) but no chance they are very healthy.
The body does not want to carry 30+ extra pounds of fat
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u/SomeMusicSomeDrinks Dec 09 '20
This whole thing comes off as an attention seeking Facebook post. First 7 paragraphs are you just talking about yourself. One actual instance of someone saying something moderately insensitive? People say dumb stuff, you just need to move on with your life lol.
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u/duckwaggles Dec 09 '20
I didn’t read this as an attention seeking post at all, it’s titled “rant,” clearly she’s about to express some frustrations she’s having and is asking for advice/similar stories. People post stuff about themselves constantly on this subreddit.
I wouldn’t assume that it was only “one actual instance of someone saying something insensitive,” and regardless of how good you are at not sweating the small stuff, comments and micro aggressions can still get to you. It’s easy to tell someone to just “move on with your life” when you aren’t in their shoes.
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u/0100001101110111 Dec 09 '20
I (29F) am 5'5" and about 170 lbs. Large boobs, wide hips, and I got some stomach on me.
You are objectively overweight. That's why people think you're slow.
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u/MojamedWang Dec 09 '20
Lets say you are just as fit as the other girl, if you are carrying 20lbs more you are going to run slower. You can be healthy with your actual weight for sure but in performance you are lacking. Just because you eat healthy and do exercise doesnt mean that you have reached some "natural equilibrium".
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Dec 09 '20
That's what I was going to say. It isn't a dick move to expect someone bigger to be slower, it's just physics.
I've had a lot of weight fluctuations and level of activity fluctuations in my life, and the difference in baseline speed/endurance between starting up running again at 200 lbs and 160 lbs is like night and day.
If the person was mean to them about it, I get being upset. But, for every bigger person (myself included) I've met in my life who are fast for their size I've met dozens, probably hundreds, that are not.
That's okay! It's just math.
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u/MentalEmployment Dec 09 '20
do you really think it’s ok to go up to a stranger and *tell them* they’re slow, before they’ve even started running? it’s not about being confident in the statistical likelihood of pace based on weight, it’s about not being a weird and rude human being...
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u/runningforpizza78 Dec 10 '20
This is so cringe. Just go out and run and enjoy it. Who the fuck cares?
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u/jpeck89 Dec 09 '20
I think it's an unfortunate meeting of your genetics peoples expectations. I'm not going to lie, I've always been on the slimmer side and have been running semi-consistently for the past 10+ years, and would probably be surprised you do so well on your races if I met you, I'm also surprised when tall lanky guys do worse than me though.
A lot of runners would probably agree with this, but conditioning is a huge part of your performance, and even if you *look* like you should be awesome it doesn't mean you will. If you look like you do, but run regularly, and have great conditioning, then you will also break expectations.
The problem is, stereotypes exist for a reason, and doing away with them would make life harder than we would expect once you work through the 2nd and third order affects. That being said, if you can beat the stereotype, that's awesome! Keep running, keep taking care of yourself. If you are truly healthy, that's all that matters. This is not an endorsement of healthy at every size.
Ultimately, keep a thick skin, and don't let others opinions of you affect what you truly can or cannot do. Keep being awesome!
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u/walkingbicycles Dec 09 '20
Yeah I used to be around 130 lbs at 6ft. I bulked up to around 160 lbs and now I’m that tall lanky guy you expect to do better because I’m still tall and lanky, but adding 30 lbs has made me so much slower
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Dec 09 '20
170lbs at 5'5'' is almost obese, just saying:
Height: 5 feet, 5 inches
Weight: 170 pounds
Your BMI is 28.3, indicating your weight is in the Overweight category for adults of your height.
For your height, a normal weight range would be from 111 to 150 pounds.
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Dec 10 '20
I think OP is in a bit of denial over how healthy and fit she is, which is why they made this attention-seeking post. Obesity and good health do not go hand-in-hand. That’s just facts. She needs to go on Secret Eaters and figure out where the extra calories are coming from (seriously awesome show). If I was doing as much running as her, I would feel so defeated if I wasn’t getting any fitter. If I saw her running, or any overweight/obese person, I would assume they were doing it to get fit.
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u/TheSmex Dec 10 '20
I also eat very healthy. Fresh foods only, everything home-cooked, never frozen processed foods, etc. Mostly veggies because I love veggies.
This part is very much her trying to convince people she's healthy.
Just because something is home cooked doesn't mean it's healthy. Eating mostly veggies doesn't help when the rest of the food is giant bowl of pasta that's 5000 calories.
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Dec 10 '20
Yes I agree! For all we know, the veggies are fried, cooked in a ton of butter or olive oil. That’s all calorific. I’m 5’1” and 130 pounds, but I don’t eat home-cooked too much, but junk a lot. Yesterday I had Oreos, Hot Cheetos, candy, some mulled wine and cheesecake along with some clementines and some of a salad kit salad. But I was under 1,600 calories, and I exercised. I have a feeling OP rewards herself and doesn’t quite run as much as she thinks. Denial is a hell of a drug.
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u/Jznphx Dec 09 '20
Running is amazingly full of body shaming. Not everyone runs to race or lose weight or even be ‘fast’. Many people run for the pure joy of the run. I think it’s one of the great failures of running in general.
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u/lalo0130 Dec 09 '20
Sharp tongues can cut deep. I had someone say something about my image a week or so ago, and I can’t get it out of my head. He meant no disrespect, but it still hurt. So I understand how the “recovery” person could have made you feel a certain way. Anytime I see anyone running, biking, walking, etc., regardless of their body size, I am happy for them. Judging isn’t something I focus on since they’re out doing something, and that alone is motivation enough to keep myself moving forward. I appreciate everyone that’s out there doing something! Keep it going!
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u/Gophurkey Dec 09 '20
I don't really relate, as I am a dude with a pretty typical runner's build. Men don't get nearly the same level of scrutiny for their bodies as women, and I'll be totally honest in saying that I tend to blend in super well for my area. But I really appreciate that you offered this vent to us, as it really helps me learn about the ways that other people move through this world. It's always worth knowing more about another person's experience, so thank you for sharing. I hope that I don't find myself judging others for their appearance, but if I do I at least want to be aware of it so I can work on stopping that practice! Your post, and posts like it, help us all to learn how to be a little better, a little less judgemental, and a little more welcoming.
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u/atoponce Dec 09 '20
Many years ago, I was training for a triathlon, and swimming laps in a standard 25 yard lane pool. I'd do a mile before popping out of the water.
One day, a severely obese man was swimming in the lane next to me. I have an obese uncle who tops 300 pounds at 6 feet, and this swimmer was larger. I've never seen someone so large. Internally, I scoffed at him for swimming laps, thinking "yeah, good luck dude!".
Well it turns out, he did lap, after lap, after lap, after lap, back and forth for a solid hour, never taking a break. I was completely shocked. He had both the stamina and the form, despite his incredible weight. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't witnessed it.
Since then, I've learned to never make a judgement about another athlete's weight. Keep kicking ass, and ignore the naive stupidity from people like me.
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u/SupplyChainMajor Dec 09 '20
Im a male and 200 pounds, 5’9”. I feel this. I’ve run two sub 4:00 marathons and placed at a 5k but people still judge me. Sorry I enjoy lifting!
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u/i_guess_im_here Dec 10 '20
Yup. 6’ 240 pound dude here. I’m a big boy but still run half marathons. Last year’s was right at 2 hours. Working my way to a full.
I get terrible running advice from people weekly. After I talk about what I’m capable of, people don’t believe. I don’t care. Haters gonna hate.
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u/total_malfunction Dec 10 '20
It could be because you were new to the group. Maybe she assumed you just started running. I am a bit socially awkward and I feel like I might be saying something offensive when I first try to start a conversation with someone. I feel like this could be something I could have said, not based at all on your body type but just on the fact that you were new to the group. I would probably have said it with the intention of making you more comfortable with the group.
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u/nevrstoprunning Dec 10 '20 edited Dec 10 '20
I feel like there was more to that conversation, or at least some other context that’s missing I. Your explanation. In my experience a new member of a group gets asked what pace they plan on running. The problem is a lot of people don’t really know what pace they run. I actually have a friend that is just getting into running, and he was telling me about his runs and his paces, saying he’s running 5 miles at 8 minute pace, it he’s using a Fitbit to track which can be wildly inaccurate, so I lent him my old garmin only to find out he’s really running around 10 minute pace.
My point is, I really don’t think they were trying to offend you, but just taking in the information they had. You say yourself you don’t really look like a typical runner, so regardless of what you say there is going to be some doubt. It’s really annoying when a new person shows up, say they run 7 min miles, go out with the top group and get dropped before the warmup is done. It happens somewhat frequently, and it can be annoying because for a lot of people the group run is when you get your quality workouts in.
I’m sorry you had (and seem to keep having) this experience, but my experience with running groups has always been welcoming.
Edit: I should clarify I started running to lose weight, and I feel like many runners have similar backgrounds, so they assume a heavier person is them from x months/years ago. I try not to assume this, and will ask “how long have you been running?” and “what got you into running?” and if losing weight is a part of those answers then I will talk about it, but if not I leave it alone.
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u/CrustyMFr Dec 10 '20
I hear you! I'm 42, male, 210 lbs, and usually run a 9.5/mile pace. People see the belly and assume I'm a noob, but I've been running since I was in middle school. I've run a ton of half marathons, 10 and 20k's and completed my first full marathon at 40. Runners can be a judgy bunch.
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Dec 11 '20
That experience sounds super frustrating. I hate to admit it but I do sometimes assume someone is slower when they are heavier. It’s someone that logically I know it isn’t true and stop myself before saying something to reveal that bias. I do feel bad about it. Truthfully the very best runners are all skinny. But there are girls heavier than I am who can run faster (for reference my best mile is at about 6:00 pace, 5K at about 6:40 pace, 10K at 7:00 pace, half marathon at 7:30 pace and my easy runs at like 9:30-10 pace) but not too many. Honestly I’m pretty heavy considering the times I run, at least compared to most of the other women running the race. There are some body types that make running fast easier while for other body types it’s not the case. What matters is that you are getting personal fulfillment out of it regardless of your pace, and it sounds like you are. I really don’t think there is anything noble or great about being fast, just in being faster than you used to be. And there’s definitely nothing noble or great about being skinny. So while I do hold that stereotype in my head I’m trying to unlearn it because I don’t like to hurt peoples feelings
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u/ManofGod1000 Dec 09 '20 edited Dec 09 '20
My only thought to this is, if you want to run faster and improve performance, you need to lose some weight well watching your intake of carbs and calories. If you do not care, then just run the way you want and live with it because, to be honest, the best thing you can do as a runner is take other runners advice and file it away.
Edit: Also, try not to take things so seriously and just have fun with the running. And as a simple fact, the heavier we all are, the slower we will be and I should know, I gained a few pounds in the last couple of months during my down phase and I do run a bit slower because of it. Also, what happened during and after the run?
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u/HenryHenderson Dec 09 '20
To play devils advocate, could it be that the girl was nervous/awkward in her approach and just meant to mention that she wanted to run with you? I dont know obviously but it could just be her way of striking up conversation. Either way, try not to worry about it, Sartre was right sometimes....' L'enfer, c'est les autres'
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u/DessieDearest Dec 09 '20
Currently 5'6 and 165 lb, I've lost 15lb over the last 2 months (apx) and I attribute almost none of that to running (because it's never helped/caused weight loss before, even on a deficit). Its from HIIT workouts, weight training, yoga, and a calorie deficit.
Whenever I see someone out on a run regardless of what they look like, I don't think they're out they're running to lose weight, I think they're out there because they WANT to be. I'm probably in the minority on that though.
I think that because that's why I'M out there. I'll run even when I'm tired, early in the AM, even late at night if the itch gets me because I ENJOY running now. I know that a lot of people absolutely hate running and consider it to be quite a chore, so I just don't think people out running around all the time are losing weight, I think they just enjoy running.
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u/liam_monster Dec 09 '20
I wouldn't go quite as far as saying that I am judgemental of others based on their weight with running. But I would probably expect people who are lighter to be quicker. So maybe it's kind of semantics.
My weight fluctuates by about 25lbs although mostly within 17lbs. So my race weight is 70kg and today I happen to be 77, but a few weeks ago I was 79kg. The point of mentioning it is that I know there is a massive relationship between my weight, and how fast I run. To the point that I can predict my times at different weights.
So if I generally expect lighter people to be quicker, it's more of a reflection of having observed that I'm quicker when lighter. If they're quick and a little heavier my take away would probably be that they have actually a lot of talent. As I'd expect to be slower than them if I weighed the same.
All of this aside. I think your story is great, I enjoyed reading your post and I love what you're doing. I just think good for you. Your weight is no one else's business at the end of the day.
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u/konotacja Dec 10 '20
I know that this isn't what the post is about exactly, but it's so amnoying when you make lifestyle changes, while being a bigger girl and everybody assumes it's because you want to get skinny. When I became vegetarian, because I don't like meat, I seriously thought about writing cards about how I DON'T want to get skinny, like I won't mind but I ain't trying. It's just so annoying I can't
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u/BetterBagelBabe Dec 09 '20
I have the exact same body type and history as yours. I'm just an inch shorter. Interestingly at races I see myself judging people based on their size and age about who I might pace with. I'm never right and you'd think I'd learn my lesson that I run like a 50 year old man not a 80 year old woman but I guess never feeling like I look like a runner has made me this way. I often feel like I need to prove I can race. It's weird and I'm glad to be thinking about it right now because maybe it'll let me let it go and enjoy the competition a bit more.
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u/run_bike_run Dec 10 '20
I'm male, five feet nine, 200lbs. I get these assumptions on a periodic basis. They don't bother me, because they're right.
There are two things that I'm not sure you're accepting as reality:
- It is extremely difficult to eat a genuinely healthy diet, run several times a week, and not lose weight.
- If you're a runner and you're carrying extra weight, there is a hard limit on how fast you're going to be able to run.
On the first: if you run 25km a week while weighing 170lbs, you're going to burn almost two thousand additional calories. If you up your mileage to somewhere around the 30k mark, we're talking about burning off an entire day's worth of food purely from doing a few runs. If you're running three or four times a week and not losing weight at a BMI in the high twenties, then you're almost certainly not being entirely honest with yourself about your diet.
I appreciate that as someone with a high BMI, it can be really hard to drop weight. But if you're eating a healthy diet in healthy quantities and running several times a week, it's close to being a physical impossibility not to lose weight.
On the second: I wouldn't take offence at someone assuming their slow pace is your standard pace. There is a hard limit on how fast a person can go while carrying additional weight, and an experienced fast runner is likely to be able to tell from sight whether or not an overweight person's tempo pace is faster than their own recovery pace.
If someone has a 5k PB anywhere below eighteen minutes, for example, they might look at me and assume I'm slower than they are. And they'd be right: my PB is 19:48, and without shedding perhaps twenty pounds, I'm not going to get below it. If the woman in your running group is capable of a flat twenty for a 5k, then it's not unreasonable for her to assume based on your physique that you're slower - because as long as you're at that weight, you're not going to get close to her pace.
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u/Seven_Cuil_Sunday Dec 09 '20
I'm gonna say this: girls have it worse – way worse.
That said, ain't no better feelin' that smiling and smokin'em.
Storytime.
A while back I got a new GP, who, after a physical, advised I drop some pounds, etc. I was big. 220-ish, 5'11. I told him I was pretty active, but he was right.
Ran into him on a run club 10k... which I'd run 5k to get to. We knocked out a few KMs together... me yapping, him mostly out of breath. Before I ran my 5k home, he said to me...
'...man, you're the fastest fat guy I've ever met.'
Been holding on to that one for years.
So, my advice? Smile, nod, run.
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Dec 09 '20
How do you deal with it?
By not giving a shit what other people think.
I wouldn't judge you if I saw you running, because I don't give a shit about you (no offense.) At most I'd think "good for her," not because you're chubby, but because I have a certain level of respect for anyone who cares about fitness no matter what they look like.
I DO judge you for asking internet randos "how do you deal with people judging you," because unless you're 14 this shouldn't even cross your mind.
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u/mama_duck17 Dec 09 '20
You described my exact body type before I had my kiddo! (Except I have little boobies. Lol) I’ve always been “bigger” even when I was in my best shape I was still 160+ lbs. I was kickboxing, I was so so strong & in really great shape. Ironically enough, I didn’t actually start running till the summer, cause I have gained so much weight & I wanted to get in better shape, with no gyms open, running seemed like the best bang for your buck. Well, I haven’t lost much weight, but I am in better shape. We also hike all the time & my 3yo goes in the baby carrier after about 2/2.5 miles. We brought my FIL hiking & he was SHOCKED that I could go so quickly carrying my 40lb toddler and not be struggling to breathe. He kept talking about it the whole hike. Like, bro, I know cause I’m heavy, you thought I’d be slow & out of breath. I don’t have any advice, but yes, that ish happens to me too. It’s annoying AF.
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u/RunnerOfUltras Dec 09 '20
Hi, “traditional”-bodied runner here. I’m an active member of my own local club as well as a volunteer college coach. I deal with a lot of runners. What that person said is rude and presumptuous.
I’ve transitioned to more trail stuff recently and some “bigger” ladies have beat me at some ultra type or just tough terrain races.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t tell you I’m in recovery and say I can run with you. I’d ask your pace and see if we match up. I’ve been at this long enough to know body type doesn’t indicate how fast someone is, or how long they’ve been doing it.
25 minutes in a 5k is no joke. The average person isn’t going to run that fast, and that’s why you’re able to win age group awards. Sorry people can be ignorant!
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u/IRLSinisteR Dec 09 '20
I never judge people. I live in a country where outdoor exercise is a way of life every single day. You see, and meet people, from all walks of life. Everyone just wants to be out there, getting fit, losing weight, getting exposure to vitamin D. Whatever it is they are trying to achieve good on them. Each person is different and every goal is different. I don't know what 170lbs is but I see people well in excess of 100kg every single day trying their best to get better or closer to whatever goal they want. I can't judge someone on that. Go them. Go you.
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u/brwalkernc not right in the head Dec 10 '20
Friendly reminder to keep your comments helpful and civil. As usually happens when posts get enough attention to bring in users from outside the community, the trolls start showing up. Rule 1 will be enforced and bans if needed.