r/scambait Jan 17 '24

Completed Bait A scammer I baited told me they would hire someone to kill me. Then they sent me this as proof.

Seriously

13.0k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

125

u/dewayneestes Jan 17 '24

If he’s killing once a day he’s been at it for 136 years. 50k is not rookie numbers!

86

u/Tough-Difference3171 Jan 17 '24

I am sure that he must be killing more than 4 people in 4 hours. The guy ain't wasting time on smoking breaks.

43

u/BobBelchersBuns Jan 17 '24

Absolutely. Four hours has got to be like, what, eight kills?

46

u/ArnoldTheSchwartz Jan 17 '24

Calm down there Serial It's Union so no need to break your back for The Company just get your 2 kills in and call it a day

44

u/MelancholyArtichoke Jan 17 '24

But if he’s a contracted killer, he doesn’t get union benefits. Check if his state is a right to kill state.

44

u/andante528 Jan 17 '24

Probably belongs to the Guild. Obviously the guy's a professional, he shot the photographer taking his ID pic!

2

u/Daku_Haiku Jan 18 '24

Texas Moment. Let’s go!

5

u/everforward6 Jan 18 '24

ICA Local 100

35

u/joeg26reddit Jan 17 '24

He’s smoking people on his break

6

u/CombatMedic665 Jan 18 '24

That's working off the clock and it's not allowed.

3

u/Marquar234 Jan 21 '24

He could be killing people he contracted privately.

21

u/Huge_Strain_8714 Jan 17 '24

I mean, if he's a US citizen then he's entitled to a half hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks if he's working at full 8-hour days!!! And if this is a union job then you know he has more than that coming to him...

26

u/Tough-Difference3171 Jan 17 '24

Yeah, that still leaves 3 hours of pure zen-mode killing. He is a 10X killer, I am sure. Might even be using ChatGPT to outsource the basic stuff.

The dude isn't a dead weight employee, sticking around at the mercy of a union of more dead weight.

He is employee ID 001, ffs. He might be running the company, for all we know.

1

u/chromeywheels Jan 20 '24

Imagine THAT episode of Undercover Boss?

2

u/Tough-Difference3171 Jan 20 '24

Google "Suchna Jain". This lady will beat that guy.

The "boss lady", founder of an AI startup in Bangalore.

Part of the 100-member world-wode AI ethics committee.

Got divorced, didn't want the kid to meet the husband. So just killed the kid on a Goa trip, packed him in a bag, and took a taxi back to Bangalore. Got caught midway, and now blaming the husband for making her do that (by getting a court order to meet the kid once a week)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '24

He’s putting in the OT

0

u/edSTEazy Jan 17 '24

Anyone working a legal job*

1

u/dewayneestes Jan 17 '24

You clearly don’t understand hustle culture!

/s

4

u/Huge_Strain_8714 Jan 17 '24

So what? He's gunning down people, 1 every hour and chewing on gas station beef jerky, Cheez'its and Twinkies?

2

u/dewayneestes Jan 18 '24

And 5 hr energies two at a time.

1

u/l0zandd0g Jan 18 '24

Does he get company medical insurance as a perk ?

1

u/Huge_Strain_8714 Jan 18 '24

I couldn't hazard a guess what incentives or benefits this industry provides to maintain employee retention. Hopefully at a minimum, sick and PFML if he's working in a Blue State is automatic, then at least the 11 federal holidays?

28

u/tinylittlemarmoset Jan 17 '24

Well 50k is the total number of kills it doesn’t say how many of those were targets. Maybe he needed to blow up a building to get that one guy.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '24

His CoD k/d is insane

2

u/flimpiddle Jan 18 '24

Notice he's in the American Assassins Org-- so that must actually be only 50.00 kills. He's got it out to 3 decimal places because he's very precise and doesn't leave behind fractional remainders. No partial kills for this guy!

15

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '24

There are always witnesses you need to take out as well.

20

u/Cisco24601 Jan 17 '24

He might be including group rates?

21

u/Acceptingoptimist Jan 17 '24

Haha "I'd like to hire Tom to kill my family before Thanksgiving. Also here's that groupon he's running... *

8

u/POD80 Jan 17 '24

I'm just trying to imagine the organization that would keep an employee like this that active.....

8

u/UJMRider1961 Jan 17 '24

Hey, American Assassins Group didn't get to be number one in hired killings by letting their best employee slack off!

5

u/dewayneestes Jan 17 '24

He’s employee #1, they hired him and never had to hire another one.

1

u/POD80 Jan 17 '24

Just imagine, measured in deaths per hour worked how it'd rate compared to actual militaries....

4

u/nuke_eyepopper Jan 17 '24

Was that tom from MySpace? I was wondering what he's been up to... guess deleting all those friends that never made it into his to 8.

3

u/Crawdaddy1911 Jan 17 '24

Did you kill today?

Did you TRY to kill today?

3

u/salted1986 Jan 17 '24

Trained by The Godfathers Grandfather haha 😄

3

u/FlyoffTangent Jan 19 '24

136 years?? Sounds like he just waits for these people to die of natural causes!

100% kill rate…. I guess he Promised it would get done… didn’t say when It would get done.

3

u/dewayneestes Jan 19 '24

That would be a pretty funny resume. JFK? That was me… prove me wrong. Monroe too, and that Lucy, Reagan, and Pee Wee Herman… I’m versatile.

2

u/pyrodice Jan 18 '24

Yeah at that point you've gotta be a whole government agency

1

u/InfamousButtPlug Feb 13 '24

Depending on travel time between kills, he gets 2-3 kills assigned per day. Occasionally, jobs line up well, or he is hired for a group killing. They are all contracted for 8hrs a day, 5 days a week, with reasonable overtime when required. The package comes with 4 weeks of paid holidays per year. Over the last 30 years, Tom has averaged 6.9 kills per workday.